War Drums, Empire of Ooo Part 1
by jomo2014
Summary: Sequel to Crown of Ooo. Months after defeating the Dipped, Finn sits uneasily on his throne. Rumblings of war and strife continue to stir his haunted sleep. It is not enough to win the war, you have to win the peace. Adventure Time is owned by Pendleton Ward. Rated M for lemons and language.
1. Chapter 1

"Thank-you for coming, Finn," said Truth Field Princess. It was formal robes today in floral-printed silk. His old friend had grown out her hair a bit and now wore it in a long braid from the crown of her head to the small of her back. It was a surprisingly attractive look. Of course, on the flipside, he had the typical stony faces of her advisors to deal with. They'd never liked Finn and took a dim view of their princess's infatuation with him.

Smiling, Finn responded, "that's why I was chosen, Sakura. Your troubles are mine. How may I help you?" Turning, the pretty princess started walking. When Finn was at her side, she said, "it's the lords of the bandit lands, Finn. They're taking advantage of the troubles. As you know, my people eschewed weapons. We typically retire into our towns when threatened..." Like Nadia's peeps, Sakura's people relied on forcefields to keep the wilderness at bay. Unfortunately, food still had to get harvested and transported, and they couldn't protect their farmers' fields with forcefields.

Finn listened with interest to everything his old friend had to say, absorbing her problems and concerns like a sponge. It was honestly a little disconcerting to Sakura because she could scarcely reconcile this mature figure with the carefree boy she remembered. _This_ Finn observed all the forms, doing nothing to offend her touchy ministers. And that made him _distant_ and distinctly _not fun_. The princess bore the matter in good grace as they concluded the conversation. "I'm now handling this," he told her. "What will you do," asked the vizier? With a shrug, Finn replied, "don't know yet. I'll head west and see if I can talk to them." When the vizier might have shouted at him, Sakura merely said, "be careful, Finn. You're no longer superhuman..." With a smile, Finn took his leave of her.

The big man went out to the airfield to Nadia's ship. His lady was sitting in a chair, _supervising_ , as the crew did maintenance on the massive machine. Kissing her lush lips, he asked, "steering clear of trouble?" With a smile, Nadia said, "I got tired of lectures." Kneeling beside her, he asked, "we settle on a name, yet?" "Vladmir," she replied. "Talia suggested it." Finn smiled. He was happy to see the two getting along. He still hoped to relieve the witch of her unpleasant burden some day. Moving on, she said, "my scientists were intrigued by your thoughts on the Tesla barrier and the molten sea." They had actually been thunderstruck that such an ignorant savage could have come up with such a brilliant idea. The cyborg-hottie said, "Shoko's selling it to the fire-elemental nobles..."

There was a lot to recommend the plan to Phoebe's peeps. Finn's idea would see the heat loss from Ooo's molten innards get stabilized and protect the elementals from the cold. It was another brilliant piece of intuitive action from their husband, and that was starting to rebuild trust among Ooo's royalty. Her husband was well beyond the warlord phase and moving to secure a legacy as a good and just ruler.

"I may have to go across the ocean to the mainland," said Finn. He was more careful now and less prone to stupid risks. Frowning, Nadia glanced to her airplane, now in a state of disassembly. He'd have to take a boat. He knew what she was thinking. He had a handicap there. "As long as I don't _see_ the water, I'll be ok," he said. He'd just have to stay below decks. Nadia sighed heavily, finding herself regretting her rash decision to vote for Finn as Warlord of Ooo. He deserved rest, but it was clear he wasn't going to get it any time soon. Part of her would have told him to stay and send someone in his stead. Unfortunately that seemed not to be in the cards. "When do you go," she asked? "Tomorrow," Finn replied. He didn't sound happy.

The Grid-Face Princess had come to accept that her husband was no longer the man he had been and never would be again. He was an older, more thoughtful man even without the nanites in his blood. Softly, she said, "you don't need to worry for me. I'll be here where it's safe..." It was a useless statement. He would be thinking of her regardless. He'd be thinking of all of them. Rising, he headed off to talk to Billy. They had plans to make.

Sunrise found Finn the King walking in Sakura's garden, his mind far away. The previous day had been a long one, what with his need to plan the expedition to the mainland, his excursion to see the factory that Sakura's people used to assemble some of the goodies they were shipping west to the other kingdoms, and the light workout he'd managed to sneak in. Now he had to get some things taken care of back home before he could take ship for the mainland. He was King, and he still had business with the Privy Council to manage. Bonnie was responsible for a lot of the day-to-day stuff, but Finn still had to keep abreast of things and make some of the key decisions.

Now, as his watch chimed, the big man took out the three gadgets that Nadia had built for him. He tossed the floating antenna into the air, where it hovered and jigged around, scanning for the signal from Bonnie's satellite. At the same time, he pulled out the holo-projector and flicked it on. Last came the headset. This was a private conversation, and, much as he trusted Sakura, he was alone in a land where she had all the power.

Bonnie and Betty were there immediately, their beautiful faces lighting up the garden. Seeing the pair of them, he felt a pang of loss. He hated this. He hated being here, when he would much rather have been _there_ with them. "Honey," burbled Bonnie. It came out sounding a little plaintive. It was dark in the Candy Kingdom, and they were both burning the midnight oil to talk to him. It helped not at all that he knew Bonnie was kind of struggling with Rosie. Their youngest was a handful, and Bonnie had always been an indifferent parent. "Babe," Finn breathed. He greeted Betty with a smile and a pleasant, "evening, Bets... How's Ranna?" "She's fine, honey," Betty murmured. Ragnhild was next. "Rags," Finn greeted her. "How's my old boyfriend," she teased him? "Good," he replied. "Your new one's fine too." She gave him a radiant smile.

There was an awkward pause. None of them were happy about this absence. Finn moved them on. They needed sleep. Ragnhild started things off with a discussion about the proposed Treasury of Ooo. After twenty years of raising a fairly big family on a shoe-string, Finn was keenly aware of the cost of things. If that wasn't enough, the unpleasantness surrounding the business of raising an army to protect the kingdoms he served and the troubles with obtaining fuel for the Tesla Barrier had made the big man keenly aware that he wouldn't get far in his job without money. He was a King without a Kingdom of his own. There was an obvious solution. He would have to levy taxes on the kingdoms and their Royal Families. They would have to kick in a little bit to get this thing off the ground and keep business going.

Of course he hardly expected them to be _excited_ about the idea.

Ragnhild didn't disappoint him on that score. She had a host of complaints to relay. The Wood Nymphs of the Grey Forest professed that they were broke. The Grid-Face people felt they ought to be paid for what they'd already done, and Alexia was incensed that she was expected to both take care of the population of Elbownian refugees in her kingdom and pay a tithe on top of it. That said nothing of the Royals who'd sat out the war. The Privy Council had come close to blows. Which Finn had, more or less, expected. Trouble was, there was a real need here.

They needed to deploy more of the War-Bots and their storage lockers. Right now, they had only enough to take care of the local kingdoms. On top of that, Finn had a real fear of the flying machines his father's alien allies had brought last time. They could take out his army from above without his guys getting off a shot. He needed flying weapons of his own. The destruction done in the Elbow Kingdom needed fixed if they were ever to get Bathilde's peeps back in their homes. The grasslands needed to be restored if they were ever going to get food production back on an even keel. There were problems everywhere, and sometimes it seemed there just was no way to fix them all.

As he pondered the answer to the problem, Finn turned to Bonnie and motioned for her to go next. With a heavy sigh, Bonnie told him, "it's gotten to cannibalism in Wildberry Kingdom, Finn." Finn's jaw came unhinged. He knew that Wildberry's peeps had an unhealthy obsession with meat, but he'd hardly have expected _this_. Nodding, Bonnie said, "Cherry's agents went in to see what was going on. Some of them... Some of them died, Finn. The survivors came back with some pretty horrible stories." Betty jumped in now, saying, "things are a mess, babe. You getting Ingrid preggers kind of comes at a bad time. We need a general... To go take care of business. Things are falling apart."

They had problems in Maudie's kingdom. The remaining nobles were bickering and vying for the throne. A couple of the more brazen barons had tried re-annexing the Duchy of Nuts from the Wood Nymphs. There were rumblings of a potential coup in Muscle Kingdom. Noemi and Alexia were both seeing a rise in bandits on their borders as the unaffiliated baronies flexed their muscles against kingdoms they saw as weak. The Lich had left them a broken mess, and Wildberry had basically smashed the whole works before they could finish glueing it back together.

They could see their husband struggling, and Cherry had militated _against_ bringing this to him. Betty had insisted. This wasn't going to get better if they hid things. They'd hidden far too much from their husband already. Though there were things that they likely never would be able to tell their King, they couldn't keep up the lies. It would eventually destroy their family.

"Ok," said Finn. "Call a conference in Muscle Kingdom. Invite the unaffiliated barons." "They'll have to cross Connie's Kingdom," burbled Ragnhild. "That's the point, Rags," said Finn. They wouldn't be bringing armies with them. Not and risk tangling with the Vampire Court. They would be bringing maybe a couple of bodyguards and nothing more. "Ok," said Bonnie. "I'm kinda' not seeing what this buys us..." With a chuckle, Finn said, "I'm gonna' put on a show of force, babe. Then I'm'a give those guys an offer. Two-hundred thousand coins up front and a hundred-thousand a year each buys them into the Kingdom of Ooo. They come under my protection. If not... well, they can deal with any alien problems themselves."

Bonnie's jaw came unhinged. That was _extortion_! That just wasn't how things were done on the Privy Council! Finn shrugged eloquently when she raised those issues. The Privy Council had been getting shaken down on a regular basis by some of the bandit-lords. Noemi's people sometimes paid ten-percent of their yearly harvest of grapes and wine just to make the top bandits go away. The old ways of doing business might have been nicer, but they were looking down the barrel of destruction. Something had to change. Finn moved the conversation on. It was time to sign off. "I want work on the castle plans accelerated," he said. All three women frowned at him. They were short on money, and he wanted to build a new castle, when Bonnie had a perfectly good castle already.

Calmly, Finn said, "we've already had this conversation, Peebles." He was gentle and sweet of tone, but there was a firmness there. Bonnie flushed and glanced away. "It'll be as you say," she murmured. That was that. Betty, who had been examining their husband's face in all its minute details, worrying at the white beard hair, and the other signs of wear on their husband, told him, "I'll give your love to our children..." "...and to each other," he agreed. "Love you all." Breaking the link, he pocketed the gadgets and turned to go.

He found Sakura standing there. Only this time she wasn't wearing her formal state robes. This time it was a soft yukata, suggesting that maybe she'd just rolled out of bed and come down to see him. "Are they well," she asked? "As well as can be expected," Finn replied. "They miss their husband." It was a subtle reminder that he was married. Finn came up the stairs towards her. Stepping in his way, she said, "they aren't the only ones who miss you." Finn flushed. Fingers stroking his chest, she said, "I'd like you to think about something..." Shaking his head, he said, "Sakura... I'm... I live on the far side of the world. I _can't_. This is already hard enough for me. I'm... I'm forced to travel, when I'd rather be with my wives and my babies." It was the truth, and she well knew it. He couldn't give her anything _but_ the truth.

Reaching out as she began to cry, Finn hugged her. "I can't do this," he whispered. "I don't like that I'm hurting you, but even if I had the choice, I won't lie to you about this. Our fates lie apart." Releasing her, the big man turned and went up into the palace. He needed to gather up his gear and head down to the docks. Sheila would be waiting on him.

The King found his firstborn having a conference of his own. Billy was just months into his unhappy new life. He was in the same place Finn had been twenty years back, with one wife patiently trying to make things work in spite of the ugliness that had been thrust upon them while her co-spouse raised hell. Only Billy had double the trouble.

Noemi had been a player as long as Finn had known her. For sweet-sixteen, she'd treated herself to a gang-bang with a half-dozen giants out of Warrior Kingdom. If there was a girl who was sketchier than Breakfast, Noemi was that woman. She was as likely to be caught banging some other lady's guy as finding her own. And she absolutely did not _get_ that she was married with a baby on the way now. This was still a lark for her, and she still behaved like she had the upper hand. Billy had no choice but to love her. Hell, Abeiuwa was just as chemically shackled to the Purple Princess as Billy was. At the same time, the minute Noemi started trying to deploy that influence, it would destroy Billy's family. Finn prayed that she would finally grow up before it was too late.

Abeiuwa the Princess of the Southern Jungles was _complex_. She had a brain almost as big as Nadia's. She was ambitious to the point of being money-grubbing. At the same time she was touchy and self-conscious of perceptions that she was 'the barbarian princess'. There had been times Finn pitied her because so much of her life had been about living to other people's perceptions. She was a mess right now, and that caused her to lash out. And right now Billy was taking the brunt.

"Abeiuwa, I'm well aware of the commitment _we_ made," Billy growled. He sounded like he was on the ragged edge of patience. Finn found himself silently urging his boy to be patient and calm in spite of whatever provocation his wayward wife was giving him now. It never helped both sides to turn to anger. Fortunately Billy managed to find his inner peace. "Baby," he said, "the world's burning. There's a hundred threats trying to reignite the war. You are my home, and I need to put these fires out before they threaten my home." There was a pause, and then the young man said, "I know you're scared and hurting, baby. It hurts me that I'm not there with you to support you. I'm'a... I'm'a get home fast as I can..." Then, "yes, baby... I'll be careful. I love you. Get some sleep, baby..."

When he hung up, Billy called out to his father, saying, "almost ready, dad." Finn might have known that his son had felt him come up. Between Billy's symbiotic state with the remnant of the Ice Tiara and the lingering remnant of the Quicksilver Curse on Finn, the younger man could often tell his father was coming through the door before Finn had even reached his doorstep. Finn stepped into the room to find his son had his gear already packed. As the young hero packed away his phone charger, Finn said, "I'm proud of you, Bill. I don't say that enough..." Billy nodded, but he was clearly distracted.

"Talk to me," said the King. The response was immediate. "Why are you here, dad," he asked? "I could have come alone..." He knew the answer. His tone told Finn he knew. "I can handle this," he said. "You don't have to worry..." Finn laughed. He laughed long and hard at his son's angry irritation. Subsiding the big man said, "you've got a _lot_ to learn about being a dad, Bill. C'mon. Let's get this done so we can _both_ get home."

Shouldering his gear, the younger man joined his father on the long schlep down through the courtyards and byways of Sakura's palace to the Water-Gate where their ride awaited. Finn had been glad to find that there was a Lamprey Folk submarine in the area to carry him to the mainland. At least he'd been happy until he found out just who her captain was. It gave him a bit of a queasy feeling to know that somehow Sheila just _happened_ to be in the area. She just happened to be stopping by Sakura's place when her kingdom was far south of the Kingdom of Truth. It was more of the same, and Finn well knew it.

The queasy feeling was still with the King of Ooo as he boarded Sheila's submarine, not least because he'd had to hurt Sakura's feelings. Again. He was starting to hate doing that. At the same time, what was he going to do? Fuck every princess on Ooo? He had fourteen wives! His crazy family already had him stretched thin! They would potentially fuck him to death if he wasn't careful. "You alright, Finn," Sheila asked? "Yeah," he lied, "I'll be ok once I'm inside..."

The Lamprey Princess grinned her toothy grin. She was wearing a one-piece number that hugged tight to her body with a plunging neckline that went down between her massive knobs. The pretty princess took him by the arm, saying, "right! Let's get you inside!" Walking behind them, Billy found himself watching that big, round ass wig-wag back and forth in bemusement. His dad was either the luckiest sot in creation or hopelessly cursed because legions of hot women wanted his boner. Shaking his head, he picked up his bags and followed.

Far to the west, one of the sinister lords of the unaffiliated domains was in the midst of one of his usual sick entertainments. Located as he was on a central highway north of Purple Kingdom, the self-styled Prince Bertoli was the latest in a long line of petty despots getting rich from robbing traders and travelers on the road. Most had been content to simply profit from others' hard work. Bertoli was different. He was a man with ugly desires, and he often had his soldiers and agents on the lookout for tender morsels passing through his lands.

He'd been quite pleased when the troop of players appeared in the town below his castle. Traveling performers nearly always had a sweet-treat in their numbers. He'd dispatched his steward to have a look and settled in to wait. Reward had come swiftly. His steward had summoned soldiers and ransacked the playhouse and the players' caravan, returning with rich booty and a sweet little bedwarmer.

Standing in his study before a hapless maiden, the evil lord licked his lips at the delicious package he was presented with. She was petite and yet curvy at the same time. Her plump boobies, while not huge, looked big on her small frame. Her pale complexion was exotic for the locale, making him think of keeping her for his stable. Her terror was plain on her face, suggesting she would be too frightened to even _think_ of leaving. In short, she was perfect entertainment for a debauched an evil old man.

Tonight's success was a far cry from his previous steward's disastrous failure with the wizard a few years ago. The self-proclaimed 'prince of the mountains' was still smarting from that one. The fool had gotten several of Bertoli's favorite soldiers killed. Fortunately, the wizard had been kind enough to remove the wretch from his family's bloodline. Bertoli had hired a replacement.

The heavily-built purple-person stood up from his chair and walked up to his unhappy guest, forcing her to look up at him. She looked suitably cowed, and when he reached out to her, he found her trembling. "Take her to my chambers," growled the evil robber-baron. _He_ was going to grab a quick shower.

After spending a half-hour scrubbing up in the bath, the vile fellow was practically singing when he came strolling into his boudoir. He was looking forward to some good screams. He was considering how long he would keep her around. A few of his toys had amused him for _months_ before he threw them out on the highway once more.

The little woman was kneeling on the bed just now, wearing nothing but her blushes. He stopped to admire her charms one more time, feeling his pecker lurch. Striding boldly forward, he growled, "if I'm pleased, you'll live. You may even leave..." He left unsaid what would happen if he wasn't. As he approached, she obediently lay back. This was better and better. The evil warlord gestured for her to open herself to him, and she obeyed with alacrity. Grinning his evil grin, Bertoli got up on the bed and climbed aboard.

And that was when the little beauty slashed his face and chest with her wickedly-sharp nails.

The effects of the venom were fast and intense. He found himself paralyzed and barely able to breath as she pushed him over on his back. "It's a special poison," she said, as she mounted his iron-hard pecker. "You can't feel this," she moaned, as she began to ride him. "Your nerves are scrambled. It's not reversible... Funny, huh? You're... mmm... hard as a stone because your heart's pumpin' like crazy. You're gettin' it on with a hot girl. _Ooo... yeah_... You're having your last fuck on Glob's earth, and you don't even get to enjoy it..."

Her confederates had the dead man's wife, son, and daughter rounded up and under guard in the great hall when she emerged with Bertoli's head. Her elegant fingers held his hair in a negligent grip as she strode, naked, up to the 'prince's' heir. Tossing the severed head into his lap, she demanded, "which of you will obey me...?" The young tough's threats were cut off by a sword through the neck. His mother's hysterics ended when her head left her neck to go bouncing across the floor. The daughter swore she'd do anything she was told to do. Patting her cheek with a bloody hand, the little murderess declared, "congrats, _princess_. You get the job."

 **It isn't enough to conquer a kingdom. After the war, you have to keep it.**


	2. Chapter 2

Drew Princess plucked the thermometer from the patient's mouth. Maja gave her a pretty smile as the doctor declared, "temperature's fine. Good, Maja. Very good." Reaching out, Drew hugged the madwoman. She was intensely aware of all the things that Finn felt when he came here. Maja was a witch. She was an immortal being who might well live for eternity. As a child. She hoped Finn's words were true. She hoped _Theo_ rotted in hell for eternity. Kissing Maja's cheek, the doctor turned and put the thermometer into its case. "Will Finn call," Maja asked? "I'm sure he will, honey," said Drew.

Taking up her bag, Drew gave her patient another hug before heading out. She'd be calling Finn herself to make sure that phone-call came. Leaving Maja behind, she headed off to the nursery. As she passed the cells, Blargetha opined, "she'd have peeled your skull like an orange. You're a _fool_ for supporting that man's stupid infatuation!" "I'm a _doctor_ ," Drew replied. "I treat the sick. Even when they've handed over their own sister to be gang-raped..." She left a chagrined princess staring at her back.

Hurletta had been militating for Blargetha to be handed over. She'd come by once to dispense threats, offering to take _only_ a couple of hours to kill her sister. Finn had forced 'Letta to leave, but afterwards Blargetha had come to believe her days were numbered. Finn the Human had a soft spot for 'Letta. If she exerted herself–especially now–Blargetha would find her head on the chopping block. It felt a lot like she was just hanging out, waiting on the end. _She_ wasn't irrevocably mad. There was no mitigating circumstance that would protect her from her sister's wrath.

As the terrified woman paced, a strange sound came to her ear. Her eyes scanned the room not once but twice, and she glanced past the air-vent twice before spotting the object on the far side. When she finally noticed, she practically threw herself on her knees in front of the grating. A phone. Someone had dropped a phone into her air vent! Now the slime-woman glanced over her shoulder to be sure no-one was watching. Then she reached out, thinning out her arm as she did so.

This was the tricky part. Her new form was too big. More to the point, the changes that had lent her the ability to use weapons and carry heavy objects had greatly limited her ability to mold herself to fit confined spaces. She _loved_ what she'd gained, but it didn't stop her from missing the one thing that would have let her escape this place. It took a while. Whoever had dropped her the phone either had bad aim or didn't quite know her limitations, and Blargetha wasn't thrilled about getting electrocuted again. Finally, she got her fingers on the phone and managed to reel it in, carefully sliding it through the grating.

As soon as she flicked it open, a message came up. _Your sister has condemned you._ It was all that Blargetha feared. A shiver of terror went through her. A second message popped up, stating, _you were tried in absentia and sentenced to death in the rain._ Blargetha shuddered in terror. She'd had thoughts that in her new form the rain couldn't hurt her anymore, but she'd never been fool enough to try it. No slime-person ever let rain touch them, lest they be dissolved and washed away. It was a powerfully _painful_ way to leave Ooo. Taking a chance, the slime-woman texted her benefactor, _when?_ She had to know, if for no other reason than to prepare herself, maybe even to try and sell herself dearly before 'Letta's thugs could lay hands on her.

There was a pause, and, for a moment, she feared her benefactor had broken the connection. Finally the response came back, _Finn the Human has left the palace and gone abroad. He has the final decision._ That sent shivers through her. Finn wasn't a friend of hers, and honestly she felt as though he would kill her himself if 'Letta asked it. She'd tried throwing herself at him, offering herself in the hope that if she pleased him, he would spare her life. He'd all but laughed in her face. Despair filled her heart, and she texted, _is there NOTHING I can do?_ The answer was a little more immediate this time. _Have patience. Help is coming._

The slime woman felt a momentary thrill. Help. She finally had someone who would help her. She wanted more than anything to leave this place as something more than a corpse. Her eyes flicked to the door of the cell and then back to the illicit phone. This had become her life-line. It was the only hope of keeping her head. Part of her wanted to hold onto the thing with all her might. At the same time, she knew the minute somebody else _saw_ the phone, it would be taken. They might even start a search to figure out how she'd gotten it. Reluctantly, Blargetha returned the phone to its place on the far side of the grating, carefully wrapping it in a string to make it easier to retrieve. She'd charge it later, when everyone had gone down to sleep.

On the far side of the world, Finn the King sat down with Nadia's radio-rig, thinking of Maja. They'd made it to shore of course. Sheila had been as good as her word, depositing he and Billy in the chief port in the east without a bobble. He had miles to go to reach the town that was suffering from banditry though. And he'd made a promise. He'd promised Maja that he'd call. That was important to him. She'd kept her word and given him her all. In spite of all the times that people had betrayed her over the centuries of her long life, she'd taken his hand. And what did she get? Just like always, a princess betrayed her. Granted, Ingrid had Death himself egging her on to do in Maja, but the result was the same. Maja had gotten screwed on the deal, and Finn was angry about that.

"Dad," Billy burbled. Finn looked up at him. "I know this means a lot to you," said the younger man. "It's my word," Finn rumbled. "I know, dad," said Billy. Smiling, as he sat down beside his father, Billy said, "ready to let me be on my own with this?" Finn flushed to his hair. He could keep his promise if he let his son go into this thing by himself. In soothing tones, Billy said, "I can handle this for a little while, pop. I'm good enough to manage this on my own. Make the call. Do what you need to do..." "Ok, son," said Finn.

Billy hefted his bag and headed on down the dock. At the far end, Finn could see him hailing a taxi. "Not going," asked Sheila? Finn told her, "got a call to make." Setting off down the dock, he sent the little radio-puck floating before him. As he settled the headset on, he told his radio, "call Maja." He neither glanced back nor cared really what Sheila thought of that. He had a promise to keep.

Billy settled himself in the first taxi to come along, telling the driver, "Fengdu village. I want to get there tonight." "You sure," said the driver? "It's extra, man. Bandits been hitting them guys. I won't be able to get back before nightfall." "Then I'll pay for a room," said Billy. He put a sack of coins on the seat next to him, causing the driver's eyes to go wide. With a grin, the humanoid put the truck in gear and tore out of there.

Billy settled in to wait and think. He and his dad were two peas in a pod–carrying the world. It felt that way sometimes. He had only wanted his happy life with Rags and maybe a couple kids or three. In the early part of his life, he'd never questioned the life his father led, with two wives and three kids between the pair. He'd never felt a need to. That was just the world he grew up in. Later, when he came to realize just how _odd_ it was for a man to be married twice over like that, he'd come to question his father's integrity and even his sanity. Just managing things with JJ was a hard enough row for Billy to hoe. He hadn't understood until lately just how little choice Finn Mertens, the once and former Last-Human, actually had in the matter.

But he was starting to understand. Honestly, he was becoming frighteningly aware of just how little choice his father had. Women throwing themselves at you was bad. Billy had experienced plenty of that in school. He'd had women of all ages, from school-girls four grades behind him to _teachers_ throwing themselves at him. And the problem had only gotten worse when he'd become a man, because the women had started to come at him fast and furious. And some of those women wore crowns.

Finn the Human had become _adept_ at ducking women with Royal Blood. Unbeknownst to Billy, he'd been fucking doing it all his life. He'd ducked Bonnie. And he'd ducked Nadia. And he'd put down Breakfast on occasions too numerous to mention. Fucking Toast had thrown herself at him at _fourteen_! Any or all of those women could have asked for his head, but somehow Finn managed to keep them not only happy with rejection but eager for more. It was a skill Billy had come to appreciate because he now saw he was going to have to cultivate it himself. If he didn't, either his Royal Wives would cut his little head off or some angry vixen somewhere else in the world would cut his big head off.

As the structures of the port town of Chongqing thinned out and gave way to the countryside, Billy became a fair bit more focused. The village had a sea-wall, forcefields, and defenses against invasion. More to the point, there was a fair amount of strength in numbers. Out here in the countryside, there could be bandits anywhere. And he knew, from listening to Princess Sakura, that the bandits were becoming very bold.

His driver never slowed down, even when Billy might have wanted him to. The humanoid took the turns at frightening speeds, tearing down the road at a breakneck pace, which told his passenger a lot about just how bad things had gotten on the edge of Sakura's kingdom. The bandits were making life pretty hard if you couldn't simply drive from point-A to point-B without trouble. Billy found himself reaching for the case that held his swords and scanning the sides of the road. "Almost there," said the driver. Which, strangely enough, did little to calm the young soldier.

The humanoid came roaring up to the door of the local inn in a cloud of dust, disturbing the chickens that were in the yard. Billy paid him, put a generous tip in his hands, and admonished him to be waiting out front in the morning. In the right now, he grabbed his bags and headed inside, dialing his phone as he went. "Cherry," he called. "Yeah. Bill." On the other end of the line, Cherry Mertens shooed one of her recalcitrant subordinates out of her office. This was personal business and didn't need to involve the local low-lifes.

"Yeah, Bill," said the older woman. "You private," Bill asked? "I am now," Cherry replied. "Something you need?" With a sigh, Bill said, "need a name... I'm in Fengdu now. I need somebody local who knows maybe who some of the players are and why the bandits are suddenly raising so much hell." "I can do that," she replied. "Gimme' a bit, Bill, ok?" "Yeah," he said. "I'll get settled in." Hanging up, he went to the desk. "Need three rooms," he said. "One for me right now... One for my dad when he gets here tomorrow." The innkeep frowned at him and asked, "the third?" "Nothing special," Bill replied. "My driver's gonna' be staying the night..." The innkeep nodded sagely. Nobody with sense would be on the roads tonight. The gates to the town would be closing soon and the forcefield would get turned on until morning.

Knowing that there were few choices in Fengdu right now with the bandits making travel a dicey proposition, the innkeep drove a hard bargain. Knowing that Cherry's men would be siphoning some of that money away, Billy didn't sweat paying it that much. If the innkeep was being a dick, there were bigger dicks waiting in the wings to teach him the error of his ways. Laying coin on the counter, Billy hefted his gear and headed upstairs to his room.

Once there, he locked the door, threw himself on the bed, and let the tension of the day drain out of him. His dad was shockingly healthy to say he'd lived with this stress on a constant basis since he was fourteen and just beginning to understand what girls were all about. Billy wasn't sure he could have handled all the drama. Shaking off the worry, he composed a nice message for his sons, shipped it to Rags, and got about putting his stuff away in the room's tiny closet. Then, strapping on his weapons, the big man headed down to the commons to look for something to eat. Halfway down the stairs, Cherry called him back. "Go," he greeted her.

"The name you want's Chow Cheung," she said. "Goes by the name Shrimp Boy because he's kind of a little shit. He's got his fingers in half a dozen different dirty dealings. He's bad news, Bill. Be careful." "I will," he replied. She told him, "he's usually found in the Ghee Kong Social Club just off the main square." "Bold," Billy opined. "He practically owns the town," Cherry replied. "The police chief's in his pocket." "He got any skin in this game," Billy asked? "A little," Cherry replied. "He's likely to be playing both sides. He doesn't want the town smashed, but he doesn't mind the cut he gets from holding it hostage either." Nodding to himself, Billy said, "how rough can I get with him?" "I don't have the power in the East that I have here, Bill," she reminded him. "Anything you and your father do can open a rift that I can't close." "I'll walk small, then," he said. "Be careful," she admonished him. "We need you." She hung up then. Billy stuffed his phone in his pocket and headed out to the street. The sun was sinking fast towards the horizon, and the bandits would soon be on the prowl.

The Ghee Kong Social Club was jumping tonight. It was, in fact, the one place in the town that seemed completely unafraid to be open, in spite of the dangers lurking outside of town. In a world that was hungry and teetering on the brink of war, it seemed altogether mad that these people could be running a raucous public house like this. Of course it helped that Shrimp Boy was in cahoots with the bandits wrecking the countryside.

Striding up to the door, the young man gave the bouncer a smile. "New in town," he said. "Just off a ship from the west. Maybe looking for work..." The bouncer looked him up and down. "Got muscle, kid," said he. Billy snapped his fingers in front of the bouncer's eyes, conjuring a tiny blade of glacial ice. He balanced the blade there for a moment before hurling it into one of the porch's supports. "Wizard," rumbled the gangster. Billy smiled. "Go on in," said the thug. "Boss hold's court at nine." Thanking the man, he handed over a tip, then went strolling in.

The place was almost painfully loud, as if making up for the eerie silence outside in the rest of the town. On the stage at the center of the club, a trio of young women danced and gyrated for the amusement of the locals. Billy found himself giving them the eye and thinking of his dad's old flame. The three were petite and thin like Sakura. Really, they fit the body-type that he sort of was used to from his days with JJ. He was honestly a little hungry after months of having all three wives pregnant. Shaking that off, he stood there a moment, scanning the scene, finally identifying Shrimp Boy from his stepmother's description.

With Cherry's warnings fresh in his mind, the young man turned and headed over to the bar. Settling in to wait, he ordered some of the local flavor while he watched the floor show. If things around here went the way they usually did, he would get some attention in short order. Wizards weren't so common that even powerful men could ignore them. Keeping one eye on the 'court' over in the far corner, the young soldier watched the girls on the stage as they danced and gyrated. His mind worked on ways to open the dialogue without starting a fight that they couldn't, collectively, afford. It was another lesson from his father. Running in and blasting everything in sight could only get you so far.

As he stood ogling the pretty young things on the stage, the door burst inwards. Every face there glanced up to see the bouncer slumped beside the door with drool oozing from his lips. At the same time _she_ walked in. Tall and stacked, she came with a plump bosom, curvy hips, and long, lean legs that went from her ass all the way to the ground. She wore a blue jacket over hip-hugging white slacks and white heels that click-clacked as she crossed the floor. Her thin lips were daubed with lipstick in a vibrant red like hearts-blood. And she wouldn't have looked out of place in Betty's world but for two things. One, she had pointed ears atop her head, poking out of her reddish-orange hair, and nine bushy red-orange tails jutted out from her elegantly swaying behind.

Billy was smitten. He thought every man there was watching as the beautiful stranger strode up to the chief gangster's impromptu 'court'. Billy watched, transfixed, as she stopped, drew the thin, wire-frame glasses from her face and began to polish them with the hem of her jacket. "Imai," Shrimp Boy greeted her. "Cheung Chow-Kwok," the tall woman replied. "Your associates are trespassing. Again." "Really," the gangster said, a sinister smile lighting his face.

Rolling her eyes, the stranger said, "we've had this conversation before, Chow. You leave the shrine and its village alone. I stay out of your hair. Is that request really so hard to understand? Or do you enjoy having to hire new henchmen?" "I'm afraid I don't understand," said the gangster. "Perhaps you could explain?" Reaching into a pocket, the stranger drew out a small flask and set it on the table. "If you're going to try and exorcise me, you might actually try finding someone who understands the old religious texts instead of idiots like this one," rumbled the tall woman.

Chow's face froze, and Billy thought that the stranger's words were true. Question was, who was she? "I don't care what you do, Chow," said the strange woman. "Burn this town to the ground, if you like. Rape half the countryside. Shiyan-village is under my protection. Good-evening." Recovering, the gangster said, "surely you understand, Miss Imai... I am but one man... There are powerful forces at play here, and people are hungry. Shiyan-village has grown an excellent crop... Your... _friends_ are a target..." "They aren't my friends, Chow," growled the woman, her ears taking on the cant of an angry wolf. "Of course, of course," Chow said. "Nonetheless, I can't be responsible for _every_ gangster. My power in this land has limits."

Calling out to the bartender, he said, "Hong, please bring Miss Imai a drink... Something... _potent_." The strange woman stared at the gangster a long few moments. Strangely, when the gangster's henchman brought a glass of some strange, midnight-black beverage, the newcomer allowed herself to be led away. Moving across the room to a corner table, she sat herself and, momentarily turned to glowering into her drink and ignoring the other people in the bar as if they weren't there.

Billy watched her as she slowly worked her way through that drink. From time to time, she would glance out the window and mutter curses before returning to her drink. She was a fidgety creature, her hands always seeming to be in motion, and those bushy tails seeming to twitch and writhe from time to time. Finally, when she had drunk the contents of the glass, she rose, and, with no further word, strode out the door just as she'd come in. Billy knew better than to rush to the door to see what happened next. That was a good way to get a spell thrown at you. More to the point, one of the thugs at Shrimp Boy's table was coming his way.

Pretending to be interested in the terrified dancers, Billy feigned surprise when the gangster stopped in front of him. "Boss wants to see you," he said. "Oh," said Billy. "Ok." Setting down his drink, he followed the thug across the room to Shrimp Boy's table. "Good evening, Mr. Cheung," he greeted the gangster. "You're not from here," the gangster remarked. "Nope," Billy replied. "Come east. Western kingdoms are a mess right now. Wanted a change." "That so," rumbled the gangster? Billy shrugged. "And what do you look for here," he asked? "Maybe a job," Billy replied. "Who was the girl?" "A little problem I have," Chow replied with a smile. "My man here tells me you're a wizard..." "Might be," Billy replied. His eyes were on the flask that still sat on the table. The bottle was filled with a strange, reddish mist, and he'd just seen a tortured face in that mist.

Taking the flask, the gangster tossed it into a nearby trash-can. Said he, "I can use a man of... _ability_. Tell me, are you any good at what you do?" Billy merely smiled. He smiled as the gangster talked. Meanwhile, he slowly dropped the temperature almost imperceptibly. Frost grew on the walls and ceiling, and it was only when it reached the threshold that caused shivering that anyone noticed. Stopping in mid-sentence, Shrimp-Boy glanced around him, finding the ceiling rimed in ice and stared. Then, turning back to Billy, he said, "I see..." After a pause to think about this development, he said, "you're hired." "Alright, boss," said Billy. "What am I doing?" With a sinister smile, the gangster said, "eager, eh?" "Want to get paid," Billy replied. "Passage to the east is expensive."

Nodding, the gangster got down to brass tacks. Leaning forward, he said, "the woman. I want you to kill her. She hails from a village twenty miles to the northeast. I need the village's defenses down. Some... _associates_ of mine have business there." "Powers," Billy asked? "She's a witch," said one of the gangster's henchmen. Nodding, Billy said, "ok. I'll take care of it." Heading back across the room, the young man finished his drink before heading out. As he made his way through the streets of Fengdu, he thought about how he was going to approach this.

The woman was a potential ally. Her appearance was anomalous to the area, suggesting that 'Imai' hailed from the time before the bombs, meaning she might be as powerful as Baba Yaga. She would be very powerful–perhaps more powerful than he was–but more on point, given how cunning Talia was, Imai would be a very cunning opponent if he fucked up and misstepped. The wildcard here was a simple question. What did Shrimp-Boy and his friends want with Imai's village? Billy had his ideas, but he wanted to be sure.

Returning to his hotel, the young man went up to his room, fired off a couple of quick messages to the girls, and then got in bed. In spite of being a bit wound up by the events of the day, he was quickly asleep, sinking down so far that he was barely aware of his surroundings. It was moments like this that the Tiara tempted him. It tempted him with suggestions of freezing the north as a present for Ragnhild. It suggested transposing the power of the other Crown from his mother to Abeiuwa or Noemi so that they could rule the world in eternal ice. Billy typically let the entity that cohabited his body posture. Tonight he told it off because he really wanted some rest.

Rising with the dawn, the young man washed and headed downstairs. Leaving a message for his dad at the desk, he sent the bellhop up to kick his driver out of bed. And then he waited a bit. Messages came back from the girls, and he skimmed through them while waiting. Noemi had some names to try out on him and an ultrasound from Drew to share. The tender words gave him hope that she was settling into this strange _joint_ life. They collectively needed her to do her part. _Fabiana,_ he typed. He liked the sound of that. As he was hitting send, his driver appeared.

"Shiyan-village," he said. The driver frowned. He'd been expecting to be tooling around _here_ for the day or maybe heading back to the port. Billy said, "double pay if we don't get back here before dark." That brightened the driver's mood immeasurably. Gathering up his gear and his passenger's, the older man rushed out to the car. Billy was a little slower in following.

The drive was peaceful, and the cabby told him a little bit about the history of the area. Shiyan-village was one of the few places to survive the Mushroom Bombs unscathed. Local legends told that an ancient guardian spirit had somehow deflected the destructive fire of the bombs away from the village. Of course the scientists from the Truth Kingdom swore it was the village's natural location in a steep-sided valley that was the real answer. The valley's sharp curvature had likely prevented the blast that leveled the other local towns from wiping out the Shiyan village.

Listening to that tale, Billy grimaced. His earlier guesses were true. 'Imai' was this guardian spirit, and she was very, _very_ old. The more he thought about this, the more he thought he might need some advice here. Knowing how paranoid and suspicious Talia was, he feared the reaction of a woman who was being continually harassed by the local gangsters if he just showed up on her doorstep. "Pull over," he commanded. "Huh," the driver burbled? "Over there," said Billy. "Pull over to that pool."

The driver pulled over to the side of a little brook that had meandered through the forest by the roadside. Billy immediately stepped out and strode over to the little stream. Kneeling there, he focused himself and whispered, "ok, Talia. I know you're there. Please reveal yourself." To the shock of the driver, a column of water the height of a man shot into the air, coalescing into the shape of a woman–an irritated woman.

"Played a hunch," Billy said, as he stared up at his father's number one _fan_. "Figured you'd be bored. Again." The angry figure glanced away, her face softening. "I don't need a lot of your time," he said. "I... have a question. I met someone last night..." "Her name was Katsumi," muttered the ancient witch. "You knew her," Billy pressed. "She was... a contemporary," Baba Yaga replied. "I need to approach her," said Billy, "without getting my balls cut off." The witch spent a few moments muttering curses. Billy reminded her, "you're going to scare off my driver. I still need to get to Shiyan." "Alright," said the witch. "Listen closely."

An hour later, Kristina Katsumi Tsui held her seventh tail up to the light, inspecting the fur with a critical eye. Nope. No grey hairs. She was still immortal. And still shackled to this village. Her birthday was coming soon. Another dreadful birthday alone in this miserable place in the ass-end of nowhere. At least the locals had stopped having 'Imai Day'. Pretending to be _happy_ and delighted to still be protecting them had gotten old about seven-hundred years ago, give or take. Taking up another of her tails, she found herself reflecting on the bitter irony of her life. Her mother had only managed to grow _one_ tail. With no village to befriend, Hitomi Kanzaki had been _very_ mortal as had her mother as had her father before her. The fox-folk had been satisfied with their mortal lives, blending into mortal society and smiling politely as old folk-tales got told about them.

"Why did you fuck this up," she thought? She knew the answer. She'd been fool enough to catch the fever of political activism, and she'd let that rush take her straight off the cliff. And now here she was, an unhappy woman with eternity staring her in the eye. She would be here until somebody somehow managed to wipe Shiyan-village off the map or the sun went out, whichever came first. As she was pondering, for the four-millionth time, how she could get out from under her commitment, a scent of incense came to her sensitive nose.

Frowning, the young/old woman rose. That was odd. She'd broken the locals of the habit of laying out incense. Usually the headman's son just walked up and knocked on her door or left a note in her mailbox. Muttering curses, the tall woman strode across the room to the door and opened it a crack. There in the center of the village's sacred grove knelt a young man. He sat crouched over a brazier filled with ritual incense. _WTFO,_ she thought? She vaguely remembered that handsome young face, but she couldn't place him. Pale hair that looked almost white in the sunlight streaming down. A body like a young god. He pushed all her buttons, reminding her that it was roughly eight-hundred and forty-five years since the last time she'd gotten laid.

With a growl of irritation, she threw the door open and came storming out. He squatted there, face unreadable, as if he were just a supplicant come to ask her a favor. Striding up to him, fists clenched, and a glare of utterest rage on her lovely face, she demanded, "ok, what the fuck, over?" Billy glanced up at the beautiful woman, letting himself _see_ her for the first time. She was dressed in a soft, thigh-length one-piece dress in deep blue. Up close, he got a good look at her yellow-brown peepers, finding them to be as lovely as the rest of her.

"I needed to talk to you," he said. "Talia sends her greetings." The fox-woman knew her jaw was hanging. She knew it, and she was utterly powerless to close it. Talia was dead. Talia was dead a thousand years. Yakutsk had been fried in a nuclear blast. Only a small bomb–just a _few_ Hiroshimas. "How do you know that name," she growled? With a shrug, Billy explained, "I've met her. I asked her about you this morning." Taking out a flask, he said, "I can show you, if you like..." "H-how're you going to show me," growled the witch? Then, "Talia's dead! She's been dead for centuries." "Let me show you," he said. "I don't have a lot of time. Shrimp Boy is trying to hire a wizard to do you in."

Her hackles went up. The hair on the back of her head literally stood on end at the mention of that name. "How do you know that," rumbled the witch? She was two hot seconds from trying to kill him. He could see it in her eyes. He could be like the man in the flask. Calmly, Billy replied, "I let him hire me last night to do the job. Figured if you and he were enemies, you might be a friend... or maybe I might convince you to be one." "You were the man at the bar," she growled. It even _sounded_ like an angry animal. "Yeah," said Bill, "and you were the hot girl who dropped a turd in Shrimp Boy's punchbowl and walked out." Her face flushed, and that seemed to give her pause. Billy took the opportunity to pour the river-water from the flask into the incense bowl. Momentarily, Katsumi found herself staring at an old, familiar face.

"Katsumi," rumbled Baba Yaga. It didn't take long. "So you're a witch too," burbled the fox-woman. The Rusalka shrugged. "I guess birds of a feather do flock together," said Katsumi. "What do you want? If you've really been alive all this time without my knowing, you must want something badly to send this young man..." "Hardly," interrupted Talia. "I keep to myself. This one... His father and I have an... arrangement. We use each other. This seemed important to the world... or what's left of it. He needed an introduction." Turning to Billy, the fox-woman growled, "alright, boy. _Talk_. Talk before I peel you." "We were asked by the Truth Kingdom to investigate the bandit raids," said Billy. "I went to the bar last night to make contact with Shrimp Boy's organization. When I heard your conversation, I realized that the fight's coming here..."

"You're on your own," said Talia, as she left them. Billy thanked her. Turning to his unwilling host, he said, "maybe we can talk inside?" Gritting her teeth, the fox-woman said, "alright. Come on, then." Rising, Billy put the cap back on the flask as he followed that wig-wagging bottom inside the house. "Stop staring at my ass," she muttered. Billy chuckled, "hard not to notice with the tails..."

Shutting the door behind himself, he said, "you're on an invasion route to Chongqing-city. That's why he wants this town. The road going into the port from his headquarters is heavily patrolled. He's got them focusing all their resources there. The road from your village is little better than a goat-track, and the Truth Kingdom doesn't really look at it as a threat. He can stage his army here and then march them around the defenses while they're distracted further south." Her face was (still) red hot. Smiling, he said, "you're a beautiful woman. Surely you knew that."

"Why do you want to involve yourself," she asked? It was the calmest she'd been so far. "My father owes Princess Sakura a great debt," said Billy. "They've known each other most of their lives, and she came to our aid when a plague of undead threatened to annihilate every living thing in the west. She's calling the marker, so here we are." "Where is your father," she rumbled? "Probably on his way," said Billy. "I left him at the port. He had some things to take care of there. He was going to follow when the sun came up. Likely he's gotten my message, and he'll be on his way _here_." "Is he bringing an army," asked the witch? With a chuckle, Billy conjured a snowball and said, "we _are_ an army, my Lady."

 **Wonder who's texting Blargetha?**


	3. Chapter 3

Finn arrived somewhere near noon as the fox-woman was cooking up a lunch of pork stew. Billy had left him a couple of messages explaining what was going on, so he was hardly surprised to see the strange woman. Just as Billy had said, she was pretty. And dangerous. Striding up, he offered the lady of the house a bow. "Hello," said he. "I'm Finn." Smoothly, Billy explained, "this is my father..." Katsumi nodded and motioned for him to come to the table.

Settling himself, Finn said, "good afternoon. I'm told you're responsible for the safety of the village." Face cold, Katsumi replied, "I am..." Folding his hands on the table before him, the big man said, "perhaps you could tell me what's been happening..." It was full-on 'new-Finn' today. Billy himself was honestly a little queasy about that. He knew that underneath it all, this was still his dad. At the same time, the big, blue dufus was gone, and Billy _missed_ that man. He missed the folksy man who treated women like grand mysteries and managed to find the good in _any_ bad situation. New Finn sometimes seemed cold and distant.

Still New Finn was very much the hero Ooo needed. Billy shut his mouth, opened his mind, and listened as his father kept the touchy fox-woman calm even as he pried little details out of her. This conflict with Shrimp Boy had simmered for years with neither side pressing very hard. Katsumi had allowed minor extortion over the village's croplands and Chow had kept his men out of the village proper. There had been peace until recently. Lost in her pain, the witch had hardly stopped to think through the significance of that.

"Before we confined him in hell, the Lich set many things in motion," said Finn. "He had a following among the class of masterless bandits. Those men neither knew nor understood his true goal..." Katsumi goggled in horror and stammered, "y-you think Chow's still carrying out some twisted scheme for the Lich?!" The news shocked her to her core. In soothing tones, Finn reminded her, "they no longer have his backing. He's imprisoned where no force on Ooo can reach him. We can shut Shrimp Boy down. Just need a little help from you."

Katsumi got up and went to the edge of the porch. For a long, long time she stood staring into the village. Billy had some idea what she was thinking of. He'd thought it. This was her piece of the world. She was dedicated to its survival. At the same time, the doom set in motion by the Lich respected no boundaries. "What do you need," she murmured? At first neither man heard her. Turning to face them, she said it a little louder, "what do I need to do?"

Calm as anything Finn told her, "for this to work, you need to die." The fox-woman frowned at him. Billy took up the thread. "Yeah, dad," he said. "That's brilliant. He'll totally buy into it if I bring him a big, bushy fox-tail!" Her face went hot, and unconsciously she folded her tails behind her. Realizing that she'd misunderstood Bill amended, "I've seen foxes around here. All we need is a tail from one of them..."

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Cherry Mertens walked in on Drew's patient to find that she was doing just as Drew had said. She was playing Card Wars. Sort of. As the crime-lord watched in puzzlement, pieces moved on the board of their own volition. Some of those markers looked like people she knew, and they struggled against people she had never seen before. It was an amazing sight made all the more amazing because Maja was fast asleep in her chair. When Drew would have spoken, Cherry put a finger to her lips, shushing her. She wanted to see this.

Together the pair watched from the door as that strange game played itself out. At a couple of key points in Maja's game, Drew thought she saw Billy or Finn. It was clear they were dealing with some of the locals in the Kingdom of Truth, but other than a brief glimpse of Princess Sakura, Drew recognized no-one else. Cherry watched with far more focus, suggesting she _did_ know some of the players. Both women found the strange fox-woman _very_ interesting. Finally the game petered out, and soft sounds of snoring from Maja suggested a deeper sleep.

Cherry nudged the doctor out into the hall and shut the door. "Ok," she said, "what does that mean, and how many times has it happened?" Drew flushed, telling the fallen attorney that her hunch was true. With a soft sigh, Drew admitted, "I think it happens every time he leaves town..." She couldn't be sure because she'd only seen it twice before. Cherry's dark eyes burned into hers, and Drew admitted, "I didn't want to upset things..." "She's possibly seeing the future, Drew," Cherry reminded the doctor. "At very least, she's seeing things where Finn is. That's very dangerous..." The doctor glanced away. With a sigh, Cherry said, "we'll talk in the morning. Get sleep..."

On the far side of the world, the subjects of Maja's strange dream wrapped up their fox-hunt. Finn had trapped the critter not far from the village, and Billy had done the job of removing its tail. Moving on, they met with the village headman, fleshed out the details of the plan, and got the village involved in putting things in motion. As Katsumi watched, the strangers fortified the quaint village where she'd spent the last thousand years.

She wasn't quite sure how to feel about this. Her neat little existence had just been upended, and honestly she was having trouble processing all of this. The world hadn't ended the night she trapped herself here, but she hadn't wanted to know what had happened outside the village. She was ashamed of the part she'd played in the world's downfall and unsure what to do now.

If that wasn't enough, she now knew Talia was alive. Her old rival had survived the bombs. Talia was a _witch_ –like her. How many others were there? It was a shocking coincidence to have _two_ such creatures hiding out in plain sight. And this pair actually _knew_ Talia! It was another astounding coincidence. She was starting to think maybe whatever cosmic powers ran the universe were trying to tell her something. Was the world headed for another massive shock? The very idea left her terrified. For a woman tired of immortality, she was having real trouble accepting death.

As the day drew to a close, Bill climbed into a car with his bloody fox tail and headed back to Fengdu. Finn gathered up their gear, took the fox-woman by the arm, and headed up the mountain above the village. It was another of the _jarring_ differences of the moment. It had been over eight-hundred years since anyone _dared_ touch her like that. Even the bravest villager kow-towed to 'Miss Imai'. Touch her without permission? Never! These men possessed a shocking confidence that left her wondering just who the hell they were.

They both appeared _human_ , but the last humans she knew died centuries back. It helped not at all that all she could seem to think of when she looked at either was how good they'd look with just a speedo on. _Yep,_ she thought, _you shouldn't have tossed that vibrator. Even without batteries, it was better than the_ nothing _you've got now._ She was frazzled and worried and more than a little horny.

The pair arrived at a beautiful scenic overlook. She knew the place. The local kids came up here to make out just like their parents and grandparents had. "Sorry if this is all a shock," said Finn. Katsumi shrugged, trying to sound more nonchalant than she felt. He remarked, "you know a lot about Shrimp Boy." "He was born in this village," she admitted. "He couldn't follow my rules. I made him leave when he was fourteen. He's hated me for years. Mostly we ignored each other until recently..." Nodding, Finn opined, "explains the thing with the liquor..." Blushing, she said, "the villagers used to leave offerings of food to secure favors. It's... a tradition..."

The stranger nodded. Instead of prying into things and asking questions that she hated answering, he kept the peace. She was at once grateful for not having to explain once again the traditions that bound her existence and, at the same time, she was disturbed by a man who showed none of the native curiosity she expected of a man. It was especially not helping that she knew that he'd met Talia. They had an _arrangement_. Her own curiosity was eating her up, and she couldn't indulge it because, well, that would have damaged her own position. There was power in mystery. She had power because he didn't know her. Trouble was, she was staring to see that cut both ways.

With the sun sinking into the west over the mountains and the sky fading to crimson, they sat and waited. Nothing got said. Finn was focused on business and his strange host was disturbed, bordering on distraught. As the daylight faded, the air grew chill, and Katsumi found herself shivering. She'd forgotten her jacket. Almost as if he'd done it a thousand times, the stranger slipped his jacket over her shoulders. When she looked at him, he merely said, "that's a girl's place in life. Sexy clothes aren't comfortable. A dude's job is to give the girl his jacket." A tale as old as time. He had a shocking serenity. She felt like she'd somehow lost hers.

The night dragged on, and the fox-woman found herself eaten up by curiosity. The questions danced on the tip of her tongue. Who _was_ he? Was he as human as he appeared? Was he a survivor like her? His son had supernatural powers. So many questions danced on the tip of her tongue. Unfortunately, as the moon made its debut, the opportunities to _ask_ those questions got cut drastically short.

It began as a soft, muted rumble. It quickly grew louder. As Katsumi and her strange ally watched, thousands of torches came bobbing up the road from Fengdu. It appeared Shrimp Boy was in a hurry. It was time to get busy. Rising, Katsumi handed back the jacket. The time for being girly was done. Sliding his arms into the jacket, Finn said, "I'd very much like it if you'd follow my play. I... saw the Lich cause a _lot_ of death..." "...and you'd not add to the pile," Katsumi burbled. "Alright. Lead on..."

There were a lot of them. It seemed to Katsumi that her former neighbor had been scouring the land to scrounge up every bandit and low-life he could find. "A lot of these men _are_ hungry," said Finn. "They have families to feed. He's taking advantage of them." Katsumi grunted something impolite. "I have to do better," he said as he stepped off. She wasn't sure if he meant that for _her_ ears or someone else's. Momentarily there were more important things on her mind. Shrimp Boy had just gotten out of a car, carrying a heavy sword festooned with a fox tail. The fox-woman saw red. Just like that. She'd save this wretch's ancestor from becoming radioactive ash, and he wanted to cut off her tails for decorations.

Stepping out of the woods before the bandit-lord, Finn announced, "hey..." The startled gangster stared at him a moment. Finn said, "the Mother of Thieves duped you, man. She was working with the Lich to end the world. There's no reason to do this anymore..." Frowning, Shrimp Boy demanded, "who are you?" "I'm called Finn the Human," said the King of Ooo. "Maybe you've heard of me?" Many of those faces _had_. With Jake's help, Finn had slaughtered a tribe of giants rampaging across Sakura's kingdom when he was fifteen. Several men edged back from him. "He's one man," howled Chow Cheung!

"Maybe," opined Billy as he came around the crowd to stand beside his father. The family resemblance was obvious. Shrimp Boy stared down at his prize, and it was clear that he now realized he'd been duped. "I'll kill you all," he growled! Before he could give a single order, Katsumi stepped out of the woods right in front of him. In front of the terrified soldiers of his army, the guardian of Shiyan village grabbed him by the collar, pressed her blood-red lips to his, and deployed the deadliest of her powers.

He never screamed. Indeed, there was a look of utter bliss on his face. At the same time, he began to slowly petrify before their very eyes. She was draining the life from him. In just moments, the Gangster-Lord of Fengdu had been turned into a very life-like stone statue. Almost negligently, the guardian toppled the statue on its side, causing it to shatter. A reddish mist seeped up out of the broken remnants. As the strange mist blew away on the wind, the bandit army disintegrated. Men were now climbing over each other to escape.

"Neat trick," Finn opined. "Bleh," spat Katsumi! "Phah! Not really. You have to share their every disgusting thought! Yuck!" There had been some really gross ones in there about _her_! Kicking aside a chunk of the late Chow Cheung, the fox-woman glared at the pair of heros. Billy, however, had already moved on. Completely unflappable, he turned to his father and opined, "Not bad, dad. You didn't even need to get your hands dirty."

Finn was just happy to have gotten this rogue army shut down with only minor loss of life. "That's it," burbled the fox-woman? Both men gave her identical puzzled looks. "Y-you plan on doing nothing else," she demanded? Guessing at what she was saying, Finn told her, "this valley is yours. I will issue a proclamation ceding control of it to you, Your Highness." "Wh-who are _you_ to do that," she demanded? With a sweet smile, Finn replied, "merely King of all I survey." Slapping her on the shoulder, he turned to go. "See you around," said Billy, as he gave her a jaunty salute. The two men went strolling back towards the village where their driver was waiting.

The sun was high in the sky the following day when the Mertens boys came rolling up to the docks. Both men had enjoyed a delightful–and _restful_ –night. Flush with cash from a surprisingly easy few days toting the strangers around, their driver was singing. He'd admonished them twice to come back soon. They could put his kids through school or pay off his house! Pulling up to the end of the pier where the Lamprey-Folk submarine sat, the driver all but _bounced_ out of his seat and rushed to retrieve their bags.

Finn and Billy took their time, even stretching a little before heading up the dock to the sub. As they climbed the gangplank, Billy caught sight of the captain sunning herself up at the bow in a string bikini that left little of her to the imagination. Tearing his eyes away from the sight of that big ass and those knobs, Bill told his dad, "I think I'm'a go call the girls..." The coward. They had discussed this. The trick to dodging princess entanglements was to hang together and not get separated. After all, no princess really wanted to be known as a ho, even if they actually were.

No sooner had his son dipped out on him than his would-be girlfriend was on her way up the deck, _carrying_ her towel instead of wrapping herself in it. Finn sighed. It was a long, twelve-hour trip back to Sakura's place. Sheila's _suit_ barely had two cloth triangles to cover her nips, and it was clear she shaved more than her legs from the size of the triangle covering her girl-bits. Finn tried not to groan and did his best to look her in the eye. It helped not at all that Nadia's nano-bugs had boosted his testosterone. He had the hormones of a teen, and while that helped him keep his muscles and gave him energy, it came with _problems_. He was fucking horny, and the evening spent with Talia's pal the fox-woman had helped that not at all. And now this.

The ship set sail not long after Finn was below decks. Sheila wasted little time hanging around. Finn settled his gear in his quarters while he hoped and prayed his old chum would leave the flirting alone tonight. Unfortunately, four hours after they sailed, one of the sailors came to his door with a message. Sheila had asked her two guests to dine with her tonight. With a sigh, Finn pulled his jacket back on and headed out into the passageway outside. "This way, sir," said the sailor.

The King of Ooo put on a smile as he followed the sailor down the passageway to the dining hall. The sounds of people having supper coming up the hallway gave him a little bit of comfort. The crew was eating. Surely Lamprey Princess wouldn't try anything in front of the entire crew? He was a little dismayed when his escort led him past the ship's main dining room. "Uh," he interrupted. The sailor told him, "Her Highness is dining in her quarters, sire." It took an act of will not to roll his eyes. Still, he wasn't planning on screwing anybody tonight, even if he _was_ wound up and horny as fuck.

When they arrived at the Captain's cabin, the sailor held the door for Finn, shutting it after him when he'd gone inside. Just as promised, there was a feast laid out on the small table with delicacies and delights from all over Ooo. Sheila had spoiled him before when he was on her submarine, and honestly he hadn't been eating all that well lately. Still, the fact that there was no Bill here gave the lie to the sailor's suggestion that she had invited both of them. Yup. More of the same.

"Hey," he greeted her. "G'day, Finn," she replied. It was another sexy, skin-bearing dress. This one covered her big knobs with a pair of straps in black satin that went up and over her neck, leaving her shoulders and back bare to show off the tan she'd been working on while he and Bill were on the mainland. Taking the seat opposite her, Finn opened with, "how was your day?" "Better'n yours, love," she replied. He wasn't so sure. He'd gotten a lot done. "Really," she burbled? "You'll have to tell me about it." Leaning her head on her hand, the lady gave him a smile. When Finn might have proceeded to do just that, she instead moved to lay out dinner.

She was pulling out all the stops. She had ice-cream and cold beer along with sausage sandwiches and meatballs in red-sauce. And on top of all of that, she had Golden Honey and buns to slather it on. Of course Finn had to draw the line at that. The stuff hit him hard, and he knew that if he got high, he'd be doing whatever she wanted. Turning down the Honey–politely–he dug in, ravenously tearing his way through a couple of the sandwiches and the meatballs and noodles, finding the bread strangely sweet and the noodles delicious.

Setting down his fork, he found himself feeling oddly _happy_ , even _bubbly_. It was a good thing he'd turned down the Honey. Sheila picked up the jar of Honey and asked, "you sure you won't have any?" She put a dab on her finger and tried to feed it to him. Giggling in happiness, Finn did his best to dodge that finger. Yeah, it was good that he wasn't having any! Sheila rose at those words. Coming around the table, she slipped into his lap, saying, "funny thing, Finn... I put honey all through that bread, the noodles, and the sauce too. Did you enjoy the meal?"

Finn's jaw came open. Grinning her toothy grin, Sheila leaned down to kiss him. It had been a bit of a hang-up for him–those teeth, and her rough, raspy tongue. With the strange narcotic honey in his gut, Finn sighed softly when she drew back. "Oooh," said the fish-girl. "That feels... _impressive_." His face flushed, and he felt like his head had been stuffed with cotton. He could feel the effects of the honey as it really started to hit him. It wasn't full on like he'd eaten it raw on something, so there was that, but he'd eaten a _lot_ of bread and noodles and licked his fork clean of the sauce. He was messed up, and he was just lucid enough to know it. When Sheila kissed him for the third time, he found himself with his hands on that big, round ass of hers, squeezing and caressing it. Either she wasn't wearing panties, or she was wearing a pair that was as skimpy as her bathing suit from earlier.

Snockered as he was, he knew he shouldn't be touching her this way, but Sheila was relentless. Stroking her ass gave way to her putting his hands on her big tits. And when he got to the point where he was caressing her big rack on his own, she progressed to unfastening the catch at the back of her neck, letting her dress fall down so he was skin-on-skin with those heavy globes. Shortly after, he was licking and nipping at the thick tips. Still, he resisted, and that was when she turned up the heat, dabbing the sticky honey on her nips.

"Oooh," she moaned, as he slurped up more of the intoxicating syrup from her hot body. "C'mon," she urged him. "Babe," he moaned. "I..." She knew what he was going to say. Teasing his face with the tip of a finger, Sheila said, "a little sugar. No strings, Finn..." The big man laughed. He'd heard that one before. Grinning her toothy grin, she held up a condom in a packet, saying, "protection from surprises..." That gave the big man pause. Maybe it was the honey she'd dosed him with, but he found himself thinking that he hadn't had a lot of luck dodging these encounters anyway. If they took precautions against making babies, this should be ok.

Picking her up, he carried Sheila over to the bed. Laying her down, the big man got to grips with those big knobs. If he was stirred up, she was just as stirred up. As he caressed her big rack, licking and sucking on her knobs and teasing them with his lips and teeth, she moaned and squirmed on the bed. Her face was red, and her eyes were shut. The King began tugging and pulling on the soft material of her dress, pulling it down off her broad hips to expose the skimpiest pair of hot-pink panties he'd ever seen. It was almost like she wasn't wearing anything at all.

Sheila helped him out by raising that amazing ass of hers. Broad in the beam like Simone, Betty, and Nadia, Sheila took 'ass' to a whole new level. It had been one of the crazy dichotomies of their relationship. The fish-girl was at once smokin' hot, but off-putting in a weird way. When he bent and sniffed at her snatch, he was reminded of her odd, _fishy_ smell. Wasted as he was, a lot of him didn't care. He was horny, and he wanted to fuck her. He wanted to finally bang Sheila. Untying the skimpy strings holding those panties on, the big man went down on her, teasing and tormenting her hot gash.

Sheila's hips jumped, practically smacking him in the face. Her legs wrapped themselves tight around his neck, as if she would never let him get away. Her sharp nails clawed at the bed, as she gulped down lungfuls of air, while her fantasy-boy made her scream. She was shivering when he finally came up for air.

The busty girl lay there gasping for air, and even her gills were trying to suck in oxygen. A corner of his mind wanted to say 'weird', but his pecker was in charge today. While he'd been working her over, he'd slipped the rubber on. Now he covered her lips with his own, in spite of the razor-sharp teeth in her mouth, and that sharp, raspy tongue. He pressed his fat knob against her and pushed. The fish-girl squealed loud enough to clear a little of the fog from his mind. Somebody could hear that! At the same time, she enfolded him in those long, strong legs, pulling him into her, telling him he wasn't getting away.

Her hands clawed at his back, as the King of Ooo railed the shit out of her. Wailing and squealing, she went off again and again, while her nasty, sharp–and somewhat venomous–talons scratched up his back. The big man found himself pinning her arms over her head to stop her. It was as bad as Simone and Betty had ever done it to him with the unpleasant bonus of the irritating poison on her nails. He'd have some pretty nasty welts in the morning. At the same time, he was shocked at how good this felt. It was raw and nasty, and she was going crazy. And he wasn't far behind her. Her big, beautiful knobs jiggled and wobbled with every jab of the stick, sometimes even slapping their owner in the face. And when she really blasted off, her back would arch, and she'd squeeze him with those legs hard enough to hurt. Finally, the big man lost the battle to hold out, and he gave her both barrels.

Collapsing on top of her, he lay there a moment, while he got his breath. Sheila lay there beneath him in a shattered heap, sucking down air like a landed-fish. Rolling on his back, he pulled her on top of him. The honey in him was telling him to go again. The nasty, horny customer the drug unleashed wanted him to go again while he had the chance. The rest of him was succumbing to sleep rather quickly. With a groan, Finn flopped over on his back. He had enough presence of mind to hug Sheila before he was out like a light.

 **Lemons, of course. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Sarah was waiting on the patriarch of the family when Nadia's plane finally rolled to a stop at the boarding area. The android woman was dressed in a stunning red pantsuit with hip-hugging slacks and a form-fitting jacket designed to show off her perky knobs. For many who knew Princess Bubblegum, it was a jarring change. Bonnie didn't wear slacks because men stared at her ass. Determined to be something other than 'robot-Bonnie', Sarah pulled out all the stops. She was _determined_ to have her own place in the world.

Drew was waiting there with the heavy-duty hottie, and the Grid-Face Princess knew exactly what that was about. Drew had nagged her for the entire trip, calling at least once a day and demanding vital signs. With no more patients to manage, the beautiful doctor had time to give her family undivided attention. Whether they liked it or not. Mostly they all went along to get along–and to avoid getting a beating if they didn't.

Slipping his arms around her swollen middle, Finn kissed Nadia's cheek, whispering, "go quietly. Vlad needs you now." She loved it when he touched her that way or spoke tenderly to her..." Stroking his fingers, the stacked princess murmured, "ok..." To Drew, she said, "alright. Let's get this over with." "First things, first," said Sarah as she shoved the hot-doctor at their husband. As Bill watched and chuckled, Drew pressed her still-hot body into Finn's as she kissed him thoroughly. Naturally, Finn helped himself, getting to grips with her curves until the pretty doctor finally broke that kiss.

Face flushed, the sexy physician took Nadia's hand and strode off towards a waiting car. Sarah now turned to Finn and started giving her report. Finn snatched the sex-droid off her feet and kissed her sugary lips as Billy chuckled, "first things, first..." A frazzled Sarah sputtered incoherently. Billy was already headed off to his own reunion. Abeiuwa had just arrived in a car. Finn stroked Sarah's cheek, sending shivers through her.

He'd become very touchy that way and now never seemed to miss an opportunity to touch her tenderly–like she was the most important thing in his world. She'd been having a little bit of trouble with that. It was the memories. Memories that were hers and memories that were clearly Bonnie's. Memories that came with tags like 'Braco' or 'Shoko' or 'Marceline'. It was the irrational piece of her running away, but she feared losing this. "Try and stay focused," she admonished him. Grabbing a handful of Sarah's big butt, the big man said, "I _am_ focused." He started walking towards the car, never relinquishing his hold on her bottom.

The android-girl had been planning to give her husband a quick briefing on the way to the palace. The leadership of the Privy Council was waiting, and they were up to their same old shenanigans. Unfortunately, they weren't going to wait on him getting settled in from his trip. Just as Bonnie had expected, news that he was inviting the unaffiliated barons to a meet in Muscle Kingdom had gone over like a lead balloon. They were about to go shrill.

To her credit, Sarah Mertens _tried_ to give her husband a briefing. Trouble was, even without the power of the Quicksilver Curse, the King of Ooo had very fast hands. Pulling up to the steps of the Candy Palace, they found Betty waiting on them wearing a natty dress in dark green. Sarah was walking funny and her hair and clothing were askew as she exited the car in the palace courtyard. That and the fogged-up rear windows on the limo pretty much said that Finn had screwed the shit out of her on the way over from the airfield. Betty rolled her eyes as Finn came up the stairs to meet her.

With her pussy feeling a little tender, Sarah fell a little behind, and she was honestly a little appalled at just how well Finn could _focus_ while in the middle of the act. With all circuits in overload, she'd lost the bubble a couple of times. Betty embraced their husband as the android brushed by. "You're kind of taking _advantage_ ," Betty reminded him. With several of them preggers or away on business, Sarah was getting a _lot_ more attention, especially as she couldn't get pregnant. Finn grabbed a double handful of Betty's big, bountiful butt, suggesting she could get some attention too. Kissing his cheek, she admonished him, "work first... You already had some..."

Falling in at her side, Finn said, "ok... 'Letta's making noises about doing in her sister..." Again. "More than noises," sighed Betty. She'd had Blargetha tried and condemned in absentia. There was a delegation here to collect the younger sister. Finn sighed. 'Letta had gone well beyond shrill. He was in kind of a bind. On one hand, he wasn't really a friend of Blargetha. There was a history of B raising hell at home and needing to be smacked down. This latest, with what had been done to Toast, sickened him. At the same time, he wasn't a fan of doing in someone who was completely defenseless. Blargetha was in prison. She'd be there until she got old and croaked. What more did 'Letta need?

"Debate as old as mankind," Betty observed. "I'm not a fan of the death-penalty myself, but it _is_ the diplomatic route here. Right now, Slime Princess has the single largest army left in the region." And she was angry and hurting over what had been done to her. That made her trouble with a capitol T. "I'll go talk to her," Finn said. "Next..." Betty told him, "Rolf, Baron of Nutwald, is calling himself Prince of Peanut Kingdom. He's twice marched an army to Emeraude's doorstep." And E was very nearly defenseless. A large number of wood-nymph wizards had been slain on the Lich's ice-island, and the rest were hardly interested in a war. "Ok," said Finn. "That's top priority. I'll... I'll go see her tomorrow." "End of the week," Betty corrected.

When he frowned at her, Betty stopped him. "You need _rest_ , Finn," she murmured. "My husband is being swept away by work. Don't forget to be a husband and father..." That got through. He still remembered how she'd felt about her dad–about the way the elder Grof got lost in working to put food on the table. Smiling, he said, "thanks for grounding me, babe." Taking his hand, Betty continued down the hall. There was a host of other problems, but she kept those back. He was one man, and they needed to remember that. She would work with Bonnie and try to limit the scope of today's meeting.

The whole pack of them were waiting when Finn strode in. Bonnie immediately rose and brought the meeting to order. Finn gave her a smile and greeted her with a very formal, "Bonnibel..." Unaccountably, Bonnie flushed. Her look was princess-formal compared to Sarah's look. Finn found the differences infinitely fascinating. It was a lot like Simone and Betty–like dating twins. Taking his seat at the head table, the King of Ooo nodded for the meeting to begin.

Ragnhild rose and announced the agenda. She ran down the list, and it was clear that most of it was complaints and old grievances against their fellow Royals. Finn smiled and told Billy's lady, "we won't get through all that. Let's talk frankly about where we are instead." It was clearly not what _Bonnie_ had planned. Her face went pale with alarm. Finn paid not a moment's attention to her worry, though, as he launched immediately into what _he_ thought was important.

"The world is broken," said the King of Ooo. "Elbow Kingdom is wrecked, with the soil burned by the Dipped. There's mass starvation underway in the wild-lands due to Suadela's crop sabotage. Those people will be headed this way, looking for handouts when the breadbasket of Bonnibel's kingdom is also critically damaged. We've already had word of cannibalism in what's left of Wildberry Kingdom, and I just shut down a bandit army in Truth Kingdom. What we need now is fewer games and more cooperation. Right now, that means deploying the Tesla Barriers to control entry to the civilized lands while we work on the food supply problem. However I can, if you like, simply leave them where they are..."

Shocked faces greeted those words. No-one could have imagined _Finn_ could say such a thing. He was actually _threatening_ them! At the same time, he was so eerily calm about it–like he was talking about the weather. It left Bonnie squirming in her chair and everyone else staring around them in a panic. Finn never stopped talking. In emotionless tones, he told the pack of them how this was going to go. Crab Princess was going to supply kelp. As much as could be gathered. Bonnie and Strudel's food-processing plants were going to turn it into yummy food. The Grid-Face People were going to distribute it to people in the wild-lands. And Finn? He would discourage visitors.

Betty was so _proud_ of him as he laid the smack-down on a dozen different little schemes at once. It was an excellent answer to the problems they were facing right now. She felt as though they shouldn't have doubted him. Rising, Finn said, "later..." And he headed straight for the door, telling them all that the meeting was done and all the schemes were for nothing. Standing there in the entry, Finn paused a moment as if he'd forgotten something. Turning to the minister from the Slime Kingdom, he said, "you might want to put some troops on guard against all those peeps in Wildberry Kingdom. They sound kinda' hungry..." With no further word, he strode out the door. You could have heard a pin drop when he'd gone.

Finn was in his cramped little office when Bonnie caught up to him. "Hey, Peebles," he greeted his wife. Rising, he went to her and gave her a peck on the lips. She was angry at him. He could tell just from the look on her face. She'd had some clever little plan to claim moral high-ground, and he'd derailed it. Smiling, he stood there waiting on her to blow up. Instead, she stood there glaring. It was clear she realized he wouldn't succumb to emotional blackmail, and she had no idea what to do with that.

Finn brushed her long, sticky hair with the back of his hand. Softly, he said, "your biggest failing is that you want to be one of the girls, PB. You're not. You haven't been in over eight-hundred years, and you can't ever be again." She sucked in a breath. She'd been mortally embarrassed when he figured out just how old she really was. That had gotten tempered a little over the years, but it still had the power to sting her when _he_ reminded her of it. Relentlessly, he told his beloved princess, "they're never going to like you, Peebles. No matter how hard you try, you're a deadly enigma to them. Now I am too..." Her face flushed.

Taking her face in his hands, Finn said, "they need to understand that I know I have power and that I know how and when to use it. When you pretend as if you have no power when you clearly do, you either become a joke or a target of suspicion." "Or both," sighed Bonnie. He was right. She was shocked and appalled to realize just how right he was. Hadn't she just gone through a few _rounds_ of that with Wildberry? She'd kept _herself_ defenseless in a bid to offer comfort to her neighbors and failed on both accounts. Finn slipped his arms around her and held her. After a moment, she cleared her throat and said, "that's not my _usual_ greeting..." Finn slipped his hands down and gave her butt a squeeze. "That's better," she sighed as she pulled his lips to hers.

That was how Cherry found them. They were both fighting teenage hormones. It took both their considerable wills to stop with just kissing. After all, Betty was right. There was work to be done. The little crime boss came in and occupied a chair as if waiting her turn. Breaking free, Bonnie said, "well I need to go tell Sarah that she's got a week to figure out how to turn kelp into food. Later, honey." When she'd gone, Cherry opened with, "you needed to see me?" "Yeah," he said. "Two things. I've heard your request. I understand that I have to wean myself off calling on the mob to do some of my dirty-work. How much can I trust Orzsebet?"

With a sweet smile, the Boss of Bosses replied, "about as far as you can throw her. I have people in her organization now, honey. What's the second thing?" Finn said, "I'll be legalizing the sex trade. The Capos will have to find something else. I need favors from Emeraude. I have to offer something..." "Agreed," said Cherry. Finn's expression suggested he was waiting for the shoe. He was learning.

"Honey," she said, "as an attorney, one of the first lessons I learned was that vice is _very_ hard to stamp out. An object in motion..." "...stays in motion," he burbled. "You're saying they'll keep going?" "You're doing the right thing, Finn," she said. "The sex-trade is an ugly world, but it can be made less deadly for those in the trade. There will be men who still cater to the uglier customers. I'll hand them over gladly, but I don't intend to hunt them..." "...because they'll just dig deeper," he sighed. She nodded. Just so.

There was more to get said. She was delighted that he was going to be a more enlightened ruler than Bonnie had managed to be. Vice was ugly, but it was a fact of life. "Piece of advice, honey," she said, "legalize the whacky licorice too. The side-effects are mostly harmless, and you can make a lot of money fast on taxing smokers..." Bonnie would shit herself. At the same time, he knew Cherry was right. He'd seen that for himself when Bonnie dropped the ball with the Spoon of Plenty, and Cherry picked up the slack to keep the Candy Kingdom from starving. "Slow rollout," Finn said. "In return for what they gave us during the Lich War, I'll give them a six-month lead on the licorice."

Standing up, she dragged his face down to hers, thanking him with her lips. Breakfast came in as she was straightening his tie. "I'm sure you have some things to dictate," said Cherry. She gave Breakfast a cold smile as she headed out. Still no love lost. Finn knew he couldn't bridge that gap. Breakfast and Cherry had to do that. The King moved on. There were decrees to get written. Then he was headed off to see the kids.

Finn turned and motioned for her to follow him out into the garden. She was a little puzzled by that, but she did as he asked. When they were outside, the King of Ooo sat himself and motioned for her to climb up on his lap. Uncertainly she did just that. Sliding his arms around her, Finn said, "take a letter, Mrs. Mertens..." Startled, she almost dropped the pen. She'd been joking about the sexretary thing. Finn never missed a beat. "I can spend time on you and still get work done," he whispered. Those words–and their delivery–made her shiver.

In a strong, clear voice, he dictated exactly what he wanted of the Princess of the Hidden Kingdom. "Y-you're letting her out," Breakfast babbled? Nodding, Finn said, "there's been a spymaster for four-hundred years, Beeps. If I keep Orzsebet locked up, those guys'll just pick somebody else." Like the Mob picked Cherry. He could _control_ their leader or deal with the fallout of their actions. He was making the prudent choice from among a field of bad options.

Breakfast sighed. It was another humiliating sign that she made a poor leader. She would have crucified the bitch in anger. She'd have ended with a mess on her hands. "It wasn't her," Finn said. "Cherry's sources indicate it was Sugarlump's gang that let Blargetha into your kingdom." The Boss of bosses had men hunting the fallen gangster, but Sugarlump had disappeared after the fight in the cave.

There was a moment there where Finn feared how Beeps was going to react. The thing with Toast had hit her hard–far harder even than losing her rank and position. In spite of all the anger and angst between the three, Breakfast still loved her sisters more than anyone else in the world. If he worried about Toast taking her own life, he worried just as much about what that would do to Beeps. When she might have jumped off his lap–or tried to stab him with the pen–Breakfast instead gave him a sly look and asked, "will you make her your plaything?" Finn sputtered as, leaning in, his wife advised, "if you get her hooked on it, she'll be your loyal bitch... just like Cherry..." The nasty wench intentionally started squirming around on his lap to get him worked up until Finn had to make her stop. There was work still to do.

The pair worked on the various decrees and letters Finn needed to have written for more than an hour. Far from just simply copying his words, the King made his better-educated wife write and rewrite some of those letters until even Bonnie would have sat up and taken notice. Then, leaving his wife to her work, Finn went upstairs to lose himself in the simple joy of his kids.

At the close of the day, Finn the Human sat down with his ladies in Bonnie's formal dining room. Breakfast, Drew, Betty, Bonnie, Sarah, Nadia, Lollipop, and Cherry were all present, much as he expected. As Finn's butt hit the chair, Sarah clapped her hands, and holograms of Simone, Emeraude, Phoebe, Marceline, Ingrid, and Strudel appeared in their places at the table. The android gave Finn a sweet smile and said, "I thought this would help keep the family together." Finn, who was a little startled at first, quickly warmed to the idea.

For a little while, it was like the days and hours before they fought the Dipped–without the whole 'end-of-the-world' drama. They had time and space to talk, chat about the kids, and work out problems. As usual, the breakfast sisters had the 'family-strife' angle well covered. Strudel was irritated about money 'missing' from the Breakfast Kingdom's treasury. Breakfast was incensed to have her own sister call her a _thief_. Finn cut both off at the knees, reminding Strudel that Blargetha had deposed her sister and raided the kingdom's bank accounts for _months_ with Strudel in no position to do anything about it. Breakfast got a stern command to surrender her credit cards and passkeys. Immediately.

With a sigh, the oldest of the breakfast cuties handed her wallet up the table. As she blinked back tears, Finn emptied it of all her cards and keys. Then, as Strudel goggled, Finn put his own card in the wallet and sent it back. Face gone hot, Breakfast put her wallet back in her purse. That message was clear enough. Kicking each other was not wanted. Beeps was alone with no income and no real marketable skills, and it wasn't right that her sister tried to punish her even further.

The rest of the evening was mostly calm, though Emeraude brought a bit of a pall. She said little, and she was clearly acting more like Matriarch than wife. Nothing got said though. After the mess with Breakfast and Strudel, nobody wanted to stir up anymore strife. In the end, dinner broke up with more of a whimper than a bang, with Finn heading off to spend the rest of the evening with Lollipop and Cherry.

Far to the east, a heavy vehicle came to a stop in the village of Fengdu outside the Ghee Kong Social Club. The atmosphere around the place had changed drastically over the course of the last few weeks. There was a pall over the notorious gangster hangout. Conversely, the town was bustling and prosperous with folk wandering the streets well past dark. The difference was clear. Fengdu's bandit-lord was gone. He'd crossed the wrong person and gotten smashed. His men were either fled or walking very small. Who knew if Shiyan's guardian would come here and finish the job?

The newcomers sat in their vehicle for quite a while before one finally exited. The bulky, robed figure went up the stairs and into the formerly raucous club to find it mostly empty. The dancing girls were gone–escaped from their captivity to return to their homes. The bartender was one of the gangs lowest members. He was a man of poor prospects who had nowhere to flee to. He'd resolved to stay here and claim the club for himself. Nobody else seemed to want it.

Everyone noticed the bulky man in the door, but nobody said anything. The club was no longer _exclusive_ after all. A few took notice as the stranger _clawed_ the man who'd been carving his name into one of the roof pillars. As the hapless barfly screamed, the demonic figure doffed his robe before the barkeep. The murmur of conversation died instantly, and the would-be barman pissed himself. The ugly creature began to chant in a voice like nails on slate. As the awful verse filled the room, blackened shadows began to ooze from the walls, ceiling, and floor. Screams rang out as those shadows touched the occupants. Then, as suddenly as the screaming started, there was absolute silence.

The stranger returned to the car, wearing his hood once more, and the car peeled out. Driving across town, the limousine finally stopped outside the police-chief's door. The station was livelier than the bar had been, with cops coming and going on their rounds and even some level of cheer. Morale was high. There was a sense of it. Shrimp-Boy was dead. His power was broken.

This time the hooded man had company as he left the car. A Kimono-clad female of imposing height followed as he went up the stairs and into the police station. The officers on duty there stared in puzzlement and no little fear as the evil duo approached. Nobody said a word–not even when the woman asked to speak to the chief. She didn't wait on them to find their tongues. She already knew the way.

The chief was at his desk, his lieutenant at his side. Their unpleasant visitor came in and sat herself, taking note of the stone head that sat on the chief's desk. Fengdu's top cop growled, "your kind no longer have power here..." The strange woman took the stone head from its place, and she seemed to spend several moments examining its lifeless expression as the captain shouted threats. The face was placid and serene. Kissed to death–an absolutely ridiculous way to go. Without speaking a word, she took the stone head and, in one smooth motion, smashed the chief's skull in, bashing him until his head was a bloody pulp. Her aide barred the door against anyone who might have interfered, shredding the face of one brave soul.

As the lieutenant stared in horror, the evil bandit lord sucked her finger's clean of the blood on them. She then rolled out a parchment that looked to have been made from someone's _skin_. Reading from that list, she gave him a long string of demands, and he only had to look at the corpse beside him to understand the consequences of disobedience. When she was done, the strange woman rose to go, leaving the parchment on the desk. When his eyes flicked to that sinister document, she shrugged and opined, "you can keep it. His wife doesn't need it anymore..."

The sinister duo went strolling back through the cop-shop as the owners they'd shown themselves to be. Men looked away from the sinister woman who was _wearing_ the captain's blood. Back in her car, the bandit-lord ordered her driver to set out. She still had pieces of this mess to clean up. Shrimp-Boy's demise suggested the guardian of Shiyan wasn't above manipulating events to her advantage. It even appeared she could call on allies. The Black Scrawl Virus was out of reach. For now.

 **More Trouble On the Horizon?**


	5. Chapter 5

The Grey Forest had changed a lot since the last time Fionna had been here. For one thing, the gates protecting the interior of the forest had been cleared of debris and wrecked buses. For another, the main entry was now flanked by a wildly vibrant red-light district with sights that made adult-Fionna flush. There were scantily-clad girls everywhere you looked, and a couple of them might actually have been taking care of dudes right on the street! Riding through all that in her dad's limo, she found herself reflecting on something her stepmom had said. She was _sheltered_. Her parents had sheltered her growing up. She–or Star–could easily have been one of those girls.

The death of Penny had freed her from looking over her shoulder, but instead of relieving her of the burden of worry, that had awakened _new_ worries. She'd been proud to be Fionna the Human Girl, little realizing how that made her a target. She'd learned that ugly people could have ugly desires for the unique or exotic, and now she was going to have two daughters of her own. And somehow she had to protect them from a world that was full of evil. Of course she wasn't alone with this. Wrapping her arms around her dad's arm, she lay her head on his shoulder.

"I thought things would slow down, daddy," she sighed. Finn chuckled. She really was just like him. He had been a naive parent in the early going with no idea what he was getting into. Of course Finn had nobody to catch him a clue about just how much he didn't know. "Let you in on a secret, Fi," Finn murmured. "When you're a parent, things _never_ slow down." The Bad Bunny sat up and _stared_. Finn chuckled, "you used to give us every kind of shit about sneaking a piece. What you didn't know was that sometimes that was all the time we got to ourselves..." Fionna's jaw came open. Turning to face his kid, the big man told her, "you're going to work your ass off to raise Mona and Nadine, Fi. There's going to be days where having time to snuggle with Patrick will seem like a dream. There's other days where you'll feel like quitting."

The pretty blonde seemed like she could only sit there staring, open-mouthed, at him. Smiling fondly at her, he told his daughter, "Patrick's going to have it even tougher than you, Fi. There's going to be times in the early going with the babies, that you won't be able to go out and work. That's truth. There's more than one reason your mom stayed home all those years. Pat's going to be running to keep you all fed when you're laid up. You're going to be down more than you realize because kids pick stuff up and bring it home. Mom always gets it first. Back Pat up. Look out for him, cause it's easy for dudes to get burned up taking care of their families."

It was a shocking revelation. At the same time, it was exactly what she had to hear. Wrapping her arms around him, Fi tried to hug the stuffing out of him. Just then, the driver rolled down the window, revealing the sight of the King of Ooo's head squished against his daughter's giant knockers to the scowling guard, dealing a massive body blow to the King's dignity. "Oops," giggled Fi, as she released her dad. Straightening his tie, the King told the guard, "I'm here to see the Matriarch. It's urgent business." The suspicious nymph insisted on looking around inside the van. Finn put up with it. It was important that they were taking care of the place. He owed Talia a massive favor for her help in protecting them already.

After giving them the fisheye, the guards passed them onwards. Rolling down the road towards the primary town, they found the highway had been straightened and carefully marked. There were even patrols out. It was clear that the mistress of the forest wanted no-one wandering off the road. Of course, they _were_ being threatened by invasion. Finn's eyes carefully sifted the sights around them. His lady was making good moves. As they rolled into town, they found the place alive with traffic. Folk were out and about, and the buildings and structures looked much improved.

"Stop," Fi suddenly shouted! The driver glanced back at them. "That's stone from one of the castles I smashed," said the Bad Bunny. She was looking at one of the new buildings on the square. The young heroine flung the door open, forcing the driver to stop. Finn climbed out after her, following his daughter as she strode straight up to one particular block of stone and fit her hand to a handprint there. "This was the third castle I smashed with Princess Ingrid, father," she said. He knew the answer even as he asked, "are you sure?" "The stones tell me, father," she said. Finn sighed. Now he somewhat understood the armies at the gate and his wife's behavior. She was stealing, and she knew it.

The ride to Marphisa's place was taken under a pall. Finn knew he couldn't ignore what the nymphs had been doing. They were taking advantage of the war's outcome. He'd given them the former Duchy of Nuts, but he couldn't let them _take_ Peanut Kingdom piecemeal. Of course arriving at Marphisa's tree to find a raucous public house at its base–built of more stolen stone–helped the mood not at all.

Inside, the former madam was holding forth from a corner near the back door, looking dapper in a yellow dress. Finn instructed his driver to wait with the van. Leaving Fionna at the door, he went to Marphisa alone. Her eyes followed him as he crossed the room. Honestly, he'd have to admit he was never quite sure where he stood with this woman. Marphisa Baudin had issues piled on issues, and though he had long considered her the most honest woman in this place, he never trusted her. Not really.

Rising, she greeted him with a polite, "Finn..." "Marphisa," he responded. "Can we talk?" After a moment's pause, she said, "alright..." She led the way into the passage behind the back door. Finn immediately realized this was the way up to her apartment. "I came to see Emeraude," he said. "I need a place to stay that I can trust..." "I'm not a hotel, Finn," she retorted. Nodding, Finn replied, "you're family. I also need to know what's going on with my wife. Really." Her face flushed, and she glanced away. The big man waited. One beat. Two. The plump woman sighed, "well, I suppose having Royal connections would be useful. Come on then... Side door."

Finn went out the side door, gathered up his driver and daughter, and hauled their belongings upstairs to Marphisa's home. The nymph returned to her bar, leaving them cooling their heels for a few hours. Fionna spent the time quizzing her dad on all the subtle little things she didn't know or understand about being a parent. A distracted Finn did his best to answer while he thought about what Marphisa had told him before she went. Emeraude was being swallowed. The council's demands were eating her alive. Something had to change. A lot of things had to change.

In the end, Fionna hit the sack early. Being three months pregnant wasn't easy. Finn waited up a while, but when Marphisa failed to appear, he too went to bed. He'd begun to sleep better when the Dipped were defeated. He'd lay his head down and just crash. Tonight, he found himself tossing and turning for hours before sleep finally came. Waking up thirsty in the wee hours of the morning, he got up and went out to the kitchen in his boxers for a drink and found their missing relation there in the kitchen.

It wasn't the first time he'd seen Marphisa sitting at the kitchen table, staring into space or reading a book. It was probably the first time he'd seen her there dressed this way. She was mostly naked underneath her bathrobe, though her meaty thighs were encased in deep-green stockings that were held in place by a turquoise garter. Her heavy knockers swayed with every breath she took. Doing his best not to pay attention to her nudity, Finn approached the table, asking the obvious, "hey? You ok? Dreams again?"

The still-beautiful older woman flushed. At the same time, there was something there in her eyes when she stared back at him. "Well enough," she murmured, "and you?" "Concerned," he replied. A very carefully considered answer. He was not the same man that her niece brought here twenty years ago. Sitting down opposite her, he asked, "have you spoken to Emeraude?" The plump nymph considered her words carefully. "Her schedule is... _managed_..." Nodding, he asked, "who manages it? Marianne?"

He was very clever. It was a little disconcerting that he seemed blind to her charms. It was easy to manipulate a man with his eyes locked on your tits. Conversely, a disciplined man like this was very dangerous. "Anezka," said Marphisa. Nodding, Finn asked, "and who manages Anezka?" The plump woman flushed. He didn't press that question when he clearly could have, but she imagined he didn't have to. He had what he needed. Mostly. "And are you well," he asked? "You've been good to my family. I'd like to reward that..." The plump nymph's blush deepened. In trying to move the conversation onward, he was moving it further out of her comfort-zone.

Marphisa Baudin had money at the moment. She had always planned ahead for the ugly times that constantly befell her race. She'd only needed to find herself begging for food _once_ for the lesson to stick. Even now, she was squirreling away coins from the pub to buy a life 'somewhere else' if things went south here. What she lacked was far more esoteric. It was also dangerous for both of them. Standing up abruptly, she jerked her robe closed. "I'm doing well enough," she said as she began to walk away. It was a strange ending to a strange conversation. Rather than worry at that, Finn's mind was on the expected unpleasant confrontation with Emeraude.

Morning found the King of Ooo facing the humiliation of having to wait like the usual run of random spanks for a few moments of the Matriarch's time. It reminded him of being stuck in line to see Marceline when he and Jake got thrown in jail in the Night-O-Sphere. Doing his best not to lose his temper, the big man waited on line as, one-by-one, the losers in that line were escorted in. Some came back pleased. Others looked as if they had lost big at cards. Many looked askance at him. Men didn't often come here to plea for something. Most often, they were sent packing before they even got in the line.

They announced him as 'Finn Mertens'. The big man merely smiled as he walked in. The room went silent as he came up the aisle. Anezka's master was obvious as the one face that showed no surprise. Striding past the pair of guards before the throne-like seat of the Matriarch, he stopped and greeted his wife with, "hey..." When one of the guards might have put her hand on him, Voletta warned her off. No, nobody here wanted any of what he could have given them.

"I sent word," Finn said. "We're meeting the peanuts. Noon tomorrow, east of the forest." Just like that. Emeraude's face went hot, and several sly faces exchanged speaking looks. Finn noticed them, but he acknowledged none of it. His eyes were on the woman who had the power here. If she let herself exercise it. More to the point, it wasn't as if he planned on giving her a choice.

Anezka's master spoke up at last, announcing, "you have no right here! This is the Grey Forest..." Finn ignored her. "This thing with stealing out of Peanut Kingdom has to stop, E," Finn said. "I can't defend you against them if you let the thefts continue..." Her face showed the briefest hints of alarm. She was surprised that he knew. He wasn't supposed to know what they'd been up to. That let him know that there might be more shoes waiting to drop.

Anezka's master rose from her seat, saying, "you are not in order, Master Mertens..." "It's _Your Majesty,_ " Finn replied. Turning to look at her finally, he announced, "I'm the King of Ooo. Who are you?" The woman was older. She might have been older than Marphisa. There was more wear and tear on her body. Her eyes were calculating, and Finn imagined her thinking she could control E, little realizing how dangerous that game was. When the woman might have tried challenging that, Emeraude, who well knew how dangerous that kind of challenge was, asserted, "the King has the right to come here, Gemma. You committed a grave error in wasting the King's time. We'll speak on that later. Right now, we should waste no more of His Majesty's time." Nodding at Marianne, the proud wizard-woman said, "cancel the afternoon audiences. We will hear what the King wishes to discuss."

Finn turned to Gemma and motioned for her to vacate her seat. There was a mild uproar, but it was hard for them to deny him when he was King of the world. Settling into the chair, he said, "we're in crisis today. The wild lands are starving. The people from the wilds are coming this way, and we'll shortly be overrun. I'm taking steps against that right now, but I need to know where the Grey Forest stands, Emeraude." "What do you mean," she asked? The words came out stiffly, and she was clearly under pressure.

"I don't have time for strife, Emeraude," he said. "I know you've been raiding the shattered castles and forts in Maudie's kingdom, harvesting the stone..." "What do you think you know," growled one of the other women?! He remembered that she was Clarice, the Matron of the Hearth. Finn replied, "let's just say that I know the new buildings in town here were made with stone stolen out of Peanut Kingdom, and we'll just leave it at that. How I know that isn't important. The only thing that really matters here is that I do. If you insist on stealing from them, I can't be responsible for what they do in response." Emeraude's face whipped around.

Finn said, "I'm prepared to put your taxes on hold..." "Taxes," she howled?! She was on her feet. Finn leaned his face against his hand, looking like he was bored. "Same deal everybody's getting, Emeraude. A hundred-thousand coins each year that your land is productive. Rebates for the years that you're not..." "And if I don't pay," she demanded? With a shrug, he said, "you know the answer. I'm your King today, not your husband." Her blush deepened. Her court–her top advisor–had _chosen_ to start them out this way. She wanted to wring Gemma's elegant neck!

Finn was still speaking. Coolly, he said, "I'm prepared to play ball, Emeraude. I'm legalizing the Trade. Effective end of the month. I've already drafted the decree. Cherry's letting the Capos know it's coming." That was the limit! "Have you lost your damned mind," howled the Matriarch! She was on her feet, and she started _shouting_ at him! It was hardly the reaction he'd been expecting. While he knew that his wife didn't really like girls selling themselves, he didn't think her dislike justified _that_ reaction. Of course, shortly the entire room had erupted, and he couldn't get a word in edgewise.

Rising, he started walking. She could come and talk to him if she wanted to work this out. He left the room in a state of chaos with Auda's faction slavering over the idea of a free and legal sex-trade while the other factions variously crowed about how much they could tax it and others showing as much distaste for it as Emeraude herself held. Ironically, it was Apolline that saw the problem–the _real_ problem. Right now, they had their ugly little carnival district, with its brothels and dance-halls. If he legalized it _everywhere_ , how would they compete! That gave even Emeraude pause. She glanced to Auda, who she'd promised redress to. She couldn't keep her promise if he wrecked them out the gate!

Of course, if that wasn't enough, she was shocked and a little terrified that somehow Finn knew what they'd been up to. She'd thought that he was far too busy these last few months just cleaning up the mess. He'd been hunting down any sign that the undead could possibly still be alive along with looking for survivors from among the Hyoomen tribe. Where would he have found the time to be spying on _her_? And what would he do about it? She knew he could be _stubbornly_ altruistic. Would he _really_ punish her people for a few stones?

Gemma wasn't helping at all. In shrill tones, she demanded that they throw the King of Ooo out of their land. As if Emeraude would even dare. She was in an ugly and unwinnable situation. And when you added in the fact that Finn had already invited the peanuts to come calling, she was in kind of a bind. Pounding her fist into the arm of her chair, the wood-nymph wizard growled, "shut up! All of you! Next person to speak eats a lightning bolt!" By now they knew her temper. The gathering went deathly silent, with even Gemma clamming up. "I need to think," announced the Matriarch. Without a further word, she got up and strode out of the room.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Blargetha sat on the floor behind her table, glued to her phone. Her strange benefactor had contacted her a couple more times after the first, always out of nowhere, but most often when Finn was out of the Castle. That suggested that it might well be somebody he _knew_ or that came into regular contact with him. And that thought ratcheted up the danger. She'd gone around with that a couple of times, pondering and rethinking her approach to this, wondering if maybe it wasn't a trap or something. After all, if 'Letta could show Blargetha was angling to escape, she could demand Finn kill her sister.

There was a rather hard reality there, though. Finn could kill her any time he glob-damned pleased. He could have done it right after the last of her tanks was destroyed by the undead. He could have done it any time since then. She'd been coerced to participate by the simple reality that Finn wasn't going to have her carried out of harm's way. Maja had gone in willing and given nearly her life. That counted for something–rather a lot, even as Blargetha reckoned it. Finn had no reason at all to play games when he could just off Blargetha and be done with his troubles. It might even buy him into 'Letta's bed if he leaned that way.

Today the news was more grim. 'Letta was looking for people to take poison in to Blargetha's prison. She'd found numerous sources inside the palace who would have done it, but nobody had access to this wing of the dungeon besides Drew. While there was no love lost there, Drew wasn't going to murder a patient. They could have slipped the poison into Blargetha's food, but 'Letta wanted 'deets. She wanted to hear every ugly detail on how Blargetha left the world. She would have paid _extra_ for pictures of the bloated corpse. It was shocking and terrifying news, suggesting that, with each passing day, the older sister was getting closer and closer to being rid of her hated sibling.

Sitting on the floor, riveted by the messages that were coming her way, Blargetha was vaguely aware of keys turning in the lock at the end of the hall. She'd gone just too long. Drew was coming. Slipping the phone in her pocket, the slime-woman gathered herself to her feet, dusting her ass off, as the tall doctor came up the hall. Drew stopped in front of her cell a moment, staring at Blargetha in puzzlement. "You haven't finished your lunch," she remarked? "Not hungry," rumbled the slime woman. Now the doctor fished out her key, as if she would come into the cell. "Are you well," she asked?

The questions began then, and a startled Blargetha put her off, actually backing away. The last thing she needed was for this woman to find her secret lifeline. "I'm fine," she muttered. Drew wasn't so sure. She'd been a little disturbed when she learned about the 'spell' Maja had used to transform the slime-people, and she'd gone over Hurletta as much out of concern for side-effects as for the other things. Just as she might have gone in the cell, Maudie declared, "take your medicine and let us die in peace, bitch! Can't you see we'd rather be _dead_ than live out our lives here?!" Drew sighed heavily as she shut the door and locked it. Shaking her head, she went up the hall to Maja's room, leaving Blargetha alone.

Just as before, Drew found her patient snoozing quietly. She did that a lot when Finn was gone, almost as if he was her whole reason for still being here among the living. Drew carefully went and checked her pulse and breathing, then did a little cleaning. Maja's room was the sort of messy that was typical of a child–nothing like the meticulously organized woman who'd fought them in the war. When she was done, she picked up the bag of trash to head out. And that was when Drew saw the pieces on the Card Wars mat begin to move themselves once more.

She stood there a moment, watching and listening, as those phantom pieces marched across the board, while Maja mumbled incoherent things in her sleep. The doctor wasn't sure which would have been worse–to have the witch in the same condition as the others, which was to say confined to a tiny patch of ground for the rest of her life–or if this was the better fate. Maja was happy here. She was happy in her childish love for Finn and her endless games of Card Wars, and she couldn't threaten the civilized kingdoms ever again. As the phantom game wrapped itself up, Drew wrapped the sleeping madwoman in a blanket, leaving her alone there in her room.

That afternoon found Emeraude also alone and in a hell of her own making. She'd thought she was doing the right thing–going back to right the mess her mother had made. She'd intended to right the ship and get out of this place, but that seemed now to have been a fantasy. The problems had continued to come long after she'd hoped to pack her things for home, and she'd found herself honestly feeling like she was at the end of her rope.

She'd brought on advisors to school her on some of the things she was missing, but that now felt like a disaster too. Clarice was coldly mercenary and willing to throw anyone under the bus for her own gain. Apolline kept pushing for taxes their people couldn't afford to provide services of dubious necessity. And Gemma? While she _had_ given the Matriarch sound advice on rewriting some of their laws, Emeraude sometimes saw things in her advisor that bothered her.

The people were starting to achieve a level of certainty and prosperity, and that counted for something. That was what kept the her going. At the same time, her advisors' antics were driving her to quit. They were just as bad as the princesses, but with the power and money of a pack of paupers. They just didn't fucking _get_ that there were powers out there that could easily smash them.

After the disastrous meeting with Finn–a meeting that Gemma had tried to steer to her own liking–the former Huntress Wizard had retired to the garden to be alone and think. Unfortunately, the turmoil had come with her, and she'd spent much of the time going in slow circles wondering how she could get off this ride. In the end, she'd sent for Gemma, hoping that the older woman had calmed down and was now ready with some _useful_ answers instead of anger. Now, as she waited on her chief advisor to arrive, Emeraude found herself pacing. Up and down, back and forth.

It was as she was making the fortieth such circuit of the Matriarch's private space, a plaintive ' _mom_ ' announced Fionna. Before Emeraude could react, Fionna had practically snatched her up off the ground and was hugging the stuffing out of her. Just like her dad. In spite of the fact that she was preggers. "Fi," the wizard complained! "You're pregnant! Again!" When Fionna let her down, the pretty blonde was all grins. She was just like her father. Still. Seeing the pinkish jewel embedded in her right temple caused Emeraude's heart to lurch. She was just like Finn in too many ways now.

"It's great to see you too, mom," burbled the pretty blonde.

She was faking.

That was the hell of it all. She was still pretty, blonde, _dumb_ Fionna. Except she wasn't. Chattering away about nothing. Talking a mile a minute as if she feared she wouldn't get everything said. And all of it fake because she was probably the smartest person in the garden right now. Emeraude stopped her. Reaching up, she hugged her beautiful daughter one more time. "Mother," burbled Fionna? The facade cracked a bit. "I'm ok, Fi," Emeraude sighed as she kissed the tall girl's cheek. "I love you, baby," she sighed. The pretty blonde flushed to her hair and grinned for answer.

Stroking the baby-bump in Fionna's middle, she asked, "so do we know?" "Another girl," said Fionna. "Mom did her wiz-biz on me. No curse." That was quite a relief. "She have a name," Emeraude asked? Grinning, the Bad Bunny said, "was thinking of naming her after you, but mom got there first." Emeraude flushed. Jewel. Simone had named her baby Jewel. She felt... ashamed. She'd abandoned her family. Again. Still. Fionna and Star were both raising their own families, and she was _here_. She didn't get to see them anymore. And worse than that, she didn't see her husband, the great love of her life. Where had the time gone?

Fionna seemed to let that roll right off her back. Grabbing Emeraude by the shoulder, she dragged the older woman to the bench and made her sit down. Settling beside her, the tall blonde took her stepmom's hand and began to talk. She began to talk as if she fully intended to catch the older woman up on all that was going on. In spite of knowing that her advisor was likely waiting outside, the Matriarch decided that the time was better spent right where she was.

Fionna was in a wonderful mood as she walked home that evening. She'd had a great time talking with her mom. In point of fact, it was the best experience she'd had with her mom since she was a little girl. There was just something about their new roles in life. She finally understood. She understood the things that Emeraude had tried to teach her and tell her when she was a hard-headed teen. Back then, all she could think about was the fact that Emeraude wasn't her biological mom, and she'd honestly felt like Star's mom shouldn't really have authority over her. Now... Seeing past all those awkward moments, she saw the hard-won experience that her step-mom was trying to pass on, and now she wanted to learn all she could from the older woman.

She'd had an epiphany. At least that was the word that she vaguely remembered Shoko using. Now she wanted to share that with her father, and she could hardly wait to talk to him now. As she strode up the street towards the back door of her grand-aunt's home, the pretty blonde came across a shocking tableau. There was a dude there, and he was clearly angry and all up in Marphisa's face. Standing there in the shadows, the Bad Bunny decided to stand by and watch. She vaguely remembered the face from sometime in her past, but she couldn't have placed him if she tried.

Up ahead, Marphisa Baudin weathered the gale of her former boyfriend's anger with her usual outward calm. Dolf had gotten the boot from the forest for violence and stealing even before the crisis with the war and the undead. The last straw had been his attempt to make bank on the chaos after the last slave-raid. He'd gotten on the wrong-side of the Lawkeeper's Guard, and Marphisa had refused to vouch for him. Now she found herself a little terrified that he wanted to take it out on _her_.

As Dolf was getting down to the bottom of his list of things that he was angry about, Finn stepped out of the back door of the bar. Calmly, he asked his wife's aunt, "is there a problem here?" "Dolf was asking for help," Marphisa burbled. Finn could see she was lieing. He'd heard a lot of what had already gotten said, and he recognized the man from the day they'd come here to see Emeraude before the slave-raid. "Hey," Finn greeted him. "I can hire you a room at an inn..." Dolf glared at him. After a pause, he growled, "is this your new man, bitch?! Is it?! Replaced me just like that, have you?!" Finn replied, "Marphisa is my wife's aunt. You might know Marphisa's niece? She's the Matriarch..."

It was a very subtle warning about the risks of what Dolf was doing. The forest's rules had changed under the new Matriarch. Emeraude had never liked the abusive boyfriends and assorted hang-arounds who sometimes terrorized her people. Voletta strictly and coldly enforced the dictates of her new mistress. It could be worth your life to harm a woman here.

Angry, the rude man shoved Finn. Terrified–she'd seen what happened to men who crossed her niece's mate–Marphisa began pleading with him to go before he pushed Finn the Human just too far. Dolf turned and backhanded her, nearly knocking her down. And that was very nearly the last thing he ever did. The grass-sword snatched him up in its tendrils, and it looked very nearly as though Finn would tear him in half on the spot. "I think you need to leave, Dolf," said the King of Ooo. "I think you should go forth from the forest and never come back. If you leave now, we'll pretend that this never happened... that you didn't touch a member of the Royal Family..." When the big man let him down, Dolf tore out of there in a state of terror. He ran into the shadows and out of sight. Finn took hold of Marphisa's arm and steered the sobbing woman back inside and up the stairs to her house.

Dolf ran straight into an enraged Fionna, who'd just seen the sort of ugly thing that her parents had tried to hide from her most of her life. In his panic, Dolf snarled, "out of my way, bitch!" The Bad Bunny saw red just then. "I saw what you did," she growled. Her eyes glowed with a bright reddish-pink fire, and Dolf goggled at her. Reaching out, she grabbed him by the throat, her diamond-hard nails digging in. Panicked, the angry man tried to tear himself away, but it was already too late. Crystals grew up along his legs, encapsulating his body, imprisoning him for eternity. As the strange crystal coffin sank deep into the ground, Fionna strode towards her aunt's home, her good mood evaporated by the awful sight she'd just seen.

Inside the house, she found her father standing on the far side of the room from her aunt, talking to her in a quiet voice. She knew instinctively what that was about. This wasn't something her dad really could do. It was something boys weren't good at. It wasn't something you could smash or grow or turn a wrench on, and her dad was one of the few to know and admit it. Striding up to her aunt, the tall girl threw her arms around the older woman and hugged her. Marphisa goggled at her. Kissing the plump woman's cheek, the blonde girl murmured, "I love you, aunt Marphisa."

Unaccountably, the plump wood-nymph flushed. Then she hugged her step-niece back and whispered, "thank-you, child." Shaking off the ugly incident that had happened earlier, she said, "come on. I'll teach you to cook something. If you're going to keep getting pregnant, you're going to need this." Fionna pitched in to help cook up dinner while her dad sat himself at the table to watch, listen, and wait. Fionna did all she could to distract the older woman, saying not a word about the mark on her cheek or the obvious signs that she'd been crying.

Morning found father and daughter standing in the empty plains that had once been a bustling part of the Candy Kingdom. To the south lay an arm of the forest that was the former Wildberry Kingdom. To the southwest was Cocoa City. To the east sat the Duchy of Nuts and beyond it the Peanut Kingdom.

Fionna scanned the scene before them with a bland expression, unconsciously mirroring the icy serenity of her father. They were becoming so alike that nearly everyone noticed it. The young soldier who was their driver found himself wondering which of the two would be more likely to just snatch his butt up and haul him to safety simply because that was what they were. They seemed to almost _seethe_ with barely-leashed energy. He wondered what they saw when they looked out on the world. Perhaps the countless threats and ways there were to die? Or maybe it was the wonders that they so often sought to protect? Neither really spoke much, which sort of added to the mood.

"She'll come, father," announced the pretty blonde girl. It was the sort of sudden that the driver had become used to. "She's still my mother," said Fionna. "We're still her family, even with the other things in the way..." Finn nodded. He'd shamelessly used his daughter as a lever on his wife, leveraging her pain and angst at their current circumstances to compel her to come to the table. It didn't feel right. He didn't like to do this to Emeraude, when she'd suffered so much already. At the same time, well, what choice did he have? The things Marphisa told him were worrying him. He worried that this burden was killing his wife, and there seemed no relief in sight.

He had little time to spend on those problems though. Reports and rumors from the east suggested that the human flood of hungry and starving people was coming fast and strong. Survivors of the destruction in Elbow Kingdom, people from the uncharted wastes. All were coming to the civilized kingdoms in hopes of finding food to sustain them. They were bringing families and whatever baggage they could carry, but they were also bringing violence and disease. The Lich had left him with a mess, and his options were growing very narrow with summer fading and winter coming on fast.

As his mind was working on the problem, a cloud of dust in the distance announced that one of his negotiating partners had arrived. The peanuts were here, and they were coming early. "Soldiers, father," announced Fionna. "A lot of them." Finn sighed. It appeared that his would-be prince was choosing to be a fool. He had hoped for better, but he was prepared for this eventuality. With his daughter at his side, he was prepared for this, though he was sick of slaughter and death. "Sire," announced the soldier. "There's a car coming." Finn sighed his relief. Emeraude. She was here after all. He just hoped she was in a mood to be reasonable. He didn't want to sanction her too.

The Matriarch arrived in a heavy, off-road car like the one that had brought Finn. An additional car brought a select few members of her cabinet, including Gemma. Finn greeted them all with a polite 'good morning' as they exited the two cars. Emeraude frowned at him. She didn't like to be compelled. At the same time, she'd been caught doing something she'd known going in would be trouble. She'd signed off to get a quick fix for some of her worst problems, but she'd never dreamed the consequences would be so severe.

It helped not at all to find herself dealing with 'New Finn' or 'the King' as Gemma called him. The King was an unreadable enigma who could be tender and kind one moment and a cruel bastard the next. This sucked worse than when she and Simone had walked out on him. Underneath all the passive-aggressive anger, Finn had still been reaching out to them to fix things. Now...

As if in confirmation of the Matriarch's fears, the King of Ooo turned first to her Lawkeeper. "There's a man named Dolf, Voletta," said 'New Finn'. "He's an abuser of women and should be barred from the Forest." Gemma's mouth came unhinged as the big man calmly described the man in question and laid out exactly what should happen to him if he returned. He was giving _their_ Lawkeeper orders. Confirming her fears, Voletta replied, "it will be as you say, Your Majesty."

Finn moved on. Heedless of Emeraude's staring, he strode off towards the very hostile delegation that had split off from the army in the distance. His would-be peanut prince was waiting. "Come along, mother," said Fionna. To Voletta, she said, "he's gone. I took care of it." The Lawkeeper flushed as she guessed just how Fionna had 'taken care of it'. Taking the Matriarch by the hand, Fionna stepped off.

As they followed her father, the Bad Bunny told her stepmom, "he doesn't need to know. The problem's gone. Aunt Marphisa will be fine." Emeraude's head whipped around. "I took care of him, mother," said the Bad Bunny. "He won't ever return." Emeraude's face became clouded, and she twined her fingers in her stepdaughter's. She was ashamed. She was ashamed that Fionna had even had to see that. "I'm an adult, momma," said Fi. "I had to see it sometime. Not all men are my daddy, but most men aren't Dolf either."

They found the peanuts waiting on them at the appointed place, looking hostile. Some came armed, and Voletta opined, "this is very dangerous, my King." Finn smiled that cold smile that gave Emeraude the willies. Striding up to Baron Rolf, Finn offered the angry peanut a hearty handshake. To Fionna, he said, "a table worthy of parley, General..." Closing her eyes, the Glass Witch caused a table of pure crystal to form in the field. That gave the angry peanut pause. Finn took a seat at the head of the table with his daughter standing at his right hand. Motioning for his unwilling 'guests' to sit, the King said, "let's talk."

 **It's hard mixing business with pleasure, so don't play...**


	6. Chapter 6

They all had a sense for just how stupidly dangerous this was. They'd been hired onesie-twosie out of dive bars and forgotten hostels in the wild-lands in clear violation of 'the rules'. Nobody in the wild-lands had trust in another wild-lander unless they'd grown up in the same village with him/her. Life could be short when you trusted somebody. And yet, here they all were. They were trusting the smooth-talking foreigner. Fedir Brutko knew the answer as well as he knew himself.

Greed.

It was greed. They'd all lost their minds when the pretty stranger offered them real gold and fat jewels to help her with her little project. It was a tale as old as time. A pretty woman with money in her pockets could get stupid men to do whatever she liked. Kill an inconvenient husband. Dispose of an unpleasant rival. She could get her way if she flashed a little skin and a lot of money. There were men who might not even try to _take_ what she had if she smiled just right.

Of course, they had quickly found out that _taking_ anything from their mysterious patron was a poor joke. The fellow who'd tried to take her behind one of the tents had come up dead with a hundred holes in his gizzard. The fellow who'd been talking of poisoning the guards had died of a mystery ailment that involved shitting himself to death one night. She never even brought up the matter, and that was the most terrifying thing of all. No threats. No warnings. The message had already been delivered, and the men were terrified.

Just now the little woman was eating breakfast as the men toiled at digging out the most recent cave-in. She'd had to replace the four fellows who'd been buried. She'd left them alone here while she went hunting gullible fools willing to risk it all over a pretty smile and a handful of coins. Fedir thought half of them should have been gone when she came back, money or not. The reality was that they were more terrified of _her_ than this haunted place. So, they worked. They worked onward, not in hopes of monetary reward or pleasures of the flesh, but in the hope that they'd simply be allowed to leave with their lives.

Unfortunately, the former Kingdom of Beauty seemed to have no interest in letting go of its secrets without a fight. Every inch of ground they covered in this place seemed to have been sown with poison. Every step they took risked falling into a trap of some sort. It sometimes seemed to Fedir that, did they not watch, pathways they'd already swept clean would sprout new traps overnight! Men found their feet stabbed by sharp little needles. Men found chunks of stone falling off of the buildings where they'd lain for centuries, giving them barely any time to dodge out of the way. And all of that before they reached the center of this nightmare of a city.

The Tower of Beauty lay empty and rotting, its halls choked with debris. Water had somehow been allowed to flood the former palace, burying its lower floors in much ten feet deep. When you managed to clear a pathway through the mud, sometimes mud from upper floors would flow back in or walls would collapse, burying men by the dozen. Fedir had long ago concluded that, whatever was in the Tower could damned well _stay_ in the tower. He had no use of it, and he didn't think the little murderess could be trusted with it either.

Still, their nasty little mistress hardly intended for them to have a say in the matter. Men who decided not to work suddenly got new motivation. They showed up ghostly pale, looking as if they'd stared Death himself in the eye. Men who 'took sick' suddenly found miracle cures that left them more spry than when they'd taken to their beds. Of course, some small number of the holdouts simply _disappeared_ , which helped to explain much of the survivors' new found enthusiasm.

They were getting close today. They were coming down into the Princess of Beauty's inner sanctum. Fedir, who's ancestors had dwelled here once upon a time, had grown up on stories about how beautiful and fair the kingdom had been. What he saw around him hardly struck him as a place of incalculable beauty and light. The hard walls were made of ancient cement, many feet thick in places, giving the inner sanctum the aspect more of a _prison_ than anything else. Streaks of rust and corroded iron bars jutting out in places told that Princess Beautiful's sanctum had long predated her reign. The _sanctum_ was nothing of the sort. It looked to Fedir as though the Princess had been guarding a secret.

"You there," snarled a nasty guard! "Put your back into that shovel!" The sound of a dart-pistol getting cocked announced to Fedir that break-time was over. He bent to the shovel once more, wrestling another gallon of the ocean of gloppy mud out of the hallway. That got deposited in a bucket. A bearer promptly picked that bucket up along with a second balanced at the end of his carry-pole, then hustled back up the hallway and out the door. One more bucket down. Their employers were in a bit of a hurry. Of course, with rumors saying that Princess Beautiful had come back from the dead and could sometimes be found visiting the courts of Ooo, they had reason for urgency.

Bucket by bucket, the crew made their way forward that day, digging from the hallway into the sanctum itself. And then, slowly but surely uncovering the great _treasure_ that lay within. Fedir himself discovered the heavy iron door, rusted in its frame. His shovel jammed hard into the muck and came away dented and half-broken. Their patron insisted on coming forward herself to look. She had a peculiar gadget with her, and she waved it all over the heavy iron door. Nothing. "Open it," she snapped.

The work truly began then. The men were made to labor like mules. The guards no longer even maintained the pretense that the work was voluntary, kicking and beating anybody who slowed or slacked. The great door got fully uncovered. And then the guards hitched up chains and ropes, and sent the men back outside where they were made to haul and pull on those ropes until finally, _finally_ that door came slowly creaking open. A light was brought, then, and the first of the guards ventured inside. Dank and smelling of filth, the place sounded like nothing Fedir wanted to see, and he was unsurprised to find the Tower of Beauty had one last trick to play. The hapless guard went in and went plunging to his death just the far side of the door, victim of a rusted platform.

Only then did their patron move in with her little toy. It's constant clicks and whirs–a background noise until this point–grew in volume and frequency until it was constant. "The bomb's here," she muttered, though only Fedir and the guards heard it. Fedir found his heart skipped a beat. What had they uncovered?! The chief guard had more _news_ for her. "We've uncovered the library," he said. "The books are there." "Good," said the strange little woman. "I want to see them. Get together materials to build a platform. We're going to need to brace it against the walls of the shaft somehow." The chief guard acknowledged the order with a bow. As he turned to go, his mistress reminded him, "that shaft goes down over a hundred feet to the bottom. I need something stable enough to get the bomb off the tip." "It will be as you command, lady," he replied.

And then the little murderess was striding back through the group. Seeming to choose a victim at random, she singled out Fedir. "You," she said. "Grab a couple of sacks, and come with me." Fedir felt a chill sweep through him. Men sometimes failed to return from these little individual jobs. Whether they did something stupid or merely fell victim to the dangers of the city, nobody really knew. Nobody honestly _wanted_ to know. Most knew that it was enough to try _avoiding_ these little jobs. You couldn't avoid it if you got picked out though. Dreading what was coming, the hapless thug grabbed up a couple of sacks and stepped off.

A corner of his mind thought of turning the tables. A sack over the head and a knife, and she would be done for, poison or not, guards or not. She made that momentary thought just a small blip in his mind as she made sure that he walked ahead of her and not the other way around. "You're one of the smarter ones," she opined, as they walked. Fedir said nothing. "You might have been somebody important," she said. He found himself almost laughing. Nobody was _important_ in the bad lands where each day could be a greater struggle than the last.

"You're smart enough to shut your trap," she said. "Not like the run of idiots I hired for this job. That says something to me." Fedir kept on walking. He was smart enough to be thinking of escape. He wanted out of here. He wanted out of this devil haunted city and away from this demonic woman. "If you please me, I might make you one of my guards," she said. "My standard trial. Sixty days or the first screw-up, whichever comes first. You survive that, and you're hired. What do you say?" Fedir was smart enough to respond, "I will do as you say."

Their _library_ was nothing so grand as to merit the name. It was a tiny cubicle in a distant corner of the tunnel network, and nothing would have announced it as a 'library' at all. Characters in the ancient tongue spelled out the words, 'Engine Workshop' or some such. It was hard to tell. Fedir was only barely literate himself. He was no scholar. The murderess moved right in and picked up a book from a rusty metal shelf. "You saw something on the wall," she remarked. "What was it?" "This place," he replied. "It doesn't seem like a library." "It isn't," she replied over her shoulder.

Studying the book in her hand, she thumbed carefully through the worn and damaged pages. There were pictures there–pictures of the great engine of destruction in the shaft. She couldn't read the words, much less understand the meaning. "Do you read," she asked? "I'm illiterate," he replied. "But your people come from this land," she remarked. He felt the chill of death again. A thrill of terror shot through him to realize he could be called out so easily. She couldn't read the books she prized, but neither could he. He knew the consequences should he fail to deliver.

As Fedir was contemplating this deadly development, a terrified voice shouted, "alarm! Alarm!" It was the fat guard. He'd been posted at the entry because he was simply too fat and clumsy to make his way around the tunnels. He'd caused a collapse by himself once, nearly killing Fedir and two other men. Now, the little murderess stuffed the book and two others in the sack she had. As she contemplated what to do, the sounds of terror and fighting grew.

Without so much as a second glance, she stepped off into the tunnel, staring back the way they'd come. There was the sound of dart-guns and blades clashing–and the sounds of death. With a sigh, the little woman turned and fled in the other direction, tearing off down a branch. Fedir barely caught a glimpse of her before the skeleton tried to bash in his skull with a half rusted axe. The thug ducked that clumsy swing. A glance down the other tunnel showed that it was filling up with the restless dead. Fedir took off after the little murderess. Working for–or at least _following_ –her seemed like his best chance today.

The tunnel was much like the tunnel leading to the death-shaft. Indeed, they passed another heavy, iron door like the first. The little murderess didn't hesitate to tear off the fancy dress she'd been wearing, bearing long, lean legs and an athletic figure. She'd come expecting this, or something like it. Sounds from down the tunnel told them that the guards were meeting their fates. The dead were killing them to a man. Fedir found his terror gave him wings to keep running. Finally, the little woman came to a third iron door–this one hanging open. Sunlight streaming in from above told that this shaft was open to the sky. The evil creature darted inside. Fedir darted in after and very nearly went careening over the edge to his death.

"Up," she shouted! "We're going up!" With a nod of her head, she indicated rusty pipe-work and corroded iron jutting out of the walls. It seemed a dubious escape route, but it was better than meeting up with the skeleton again. Fedir began the climb, following her up and up as they scrabbled along rusty metal and peeling cement. Below them, he could hear the undead searching, as they dragged their weapons listlessly through the muck. He thought that horrific screeching of metal on moldy stone would be with him all his days.

Finally, they climbed up and out of that pit. His patron wasted not a moment before tearing off into the woods, clutching the sack with her prizes. Fedir had no other options. He didn't even know where they were. The undead would have him and tear him to pieces! The hapless bandit tore off after his tormenter, praying to Glob that he survived this day.

Behind them, Princess Beautiful emerged at last into the secret chamber under her former home. Her bony fingers scraped along the sign for Launch Complex Pervomaysk. Her ugly, ugly home. She fancied she could feel the deadly energy that had ultimately taken her life, causing her lovely, lovely hair to fall out. It was still here, her lovely, lovely mushroom bomb. Issuing a silent command, she ordered her deadly guardians to continue the search. None could be allowed to leave with her secrets. In the now, she went to the door–the beautiful door–as she thought about that night, long ago, when she'd let curiosity get the better of her.

 **Well, the workers won't have to worry about getting a lethal dose of radiation now.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

The fight started the moment the delegation returned from the meeting with Finn and the peanut-crew. It had continued unabated ever since. The council had split itself into four factions–Gemma's hard-liners, Auda's money-grubbers, Elisa's fence-sitters, and Apolline's traditionalists. Gemma and her crew were simultaneously the loudest and the craziest, pushing for independence from the whole-flippin' world. As if the Grey Forest could survive without male breeding stock.

Auda and her fellow whores could only see how much money they stood to make off their neighbors under official government sanction. Apolline's crew cared only about the traditions of the Matriarch's office. And Elisa's fence-sitters bounced around to whoever looked like they might win. Tonight they looked like they might get whiplash from changing direction so often. Emeraude herself was bleary-eyed with exhaustion, twisted up with worry for her people's future, and distraught over what this would do to her family. And she wanted to punch Gemma in the mouth. "We must separate ourselves from that madman," howled her advisor! "It's for our people, Matriarch!"

It was the triumphal moment. She'd kept the floor for half an hour, haranguing them all over the threats Finn the Human had made and the demands he'd levied. She'd suggested he might carry things farther if they agreed to pay his usurious taxes. She was coy, refusing to be drawn on what she thought he would do, but the others were easily able to conjure terrors of their own. Emeraude knew visions of sex-slavery danced in several minds. And what weapon did she have against that. The truth? Did she dare?

On the far side of the forest, Finn the human snapped awake from an ugly dream where somebody he loved was tortured. Getting to sleep had been hard enough. Now, after a night spent tossing and turning as he worried at what 'Gemma' was saying to his wife behind his back, Finn the Human rose from his empty bed and sat there on the edge a moment, staring into space. He'd had a nice life before other people's needs and desires had torn his family apart, and though he'd long ago forgiven Betty, he still missed what he'd had. He would have been delighted to wake to Simone and Emeraude's faces for the rest of his days. Now he was alone again, when his wife was here in the same town. Rising, he headed out to drain the one-eyed monster so he could get back to sleep.

Returning from the toilet, he glanced into Marphisa's bedroom to find the bed rumpled but empty. The wood-nymph was having another bad night in the string of them. Likely she'd been tossing and turning in bed and just decided to get up. After what she'd gone through the day before, he hardly blamed her. Taking a detour, the big man headed for the kitchen instead. There he found the lady of the house standing in front of the fridge, making a small snack. The book on the counter told him how she was planning to spend the time up.

Walking up to the counter, he asked, "I'm sorry about what happened..." It was the best he could do, and it was clearly inadequate. "Why are _you_ sorry," she muttered? She'd been in a little better mood earlier when she was teaching Fi about cooking, but that mood looked to have evaporated. "I don't have the words," he admitted. "This isn't something a guy knows... I'm... All I can give you is a shoulder to cry on." But he would have given her that in an eyeblink. She could see it there in his eyes. That was what made this so damned hard for her.

This was the man she had always _deserved_. She felt that way. She'd done her best not to hurt others. She'd sacrificed herself for nieces and sisters who'd forgotten her. She'd never deigned to abuse men who trusted her, and yet she'd come to this place and found herself _alone_. She was _jealous_ of her favorite niece. She was jealous of Emeraude Baudin, who had a husband, and she was angry at her niece because she was throwing away the one thing Marphisa had always hungered for.

It was the same sort of jealousy that had driven her relationship with Marjolaine. Marj had a wonderful child. Somehow, in spite of all the awful that her younger sister had done over the years, Marj had managed to turn out a beautiful child–someone she should have been proud of. Instead of loving and cherishing her daughter, Marj tried to sell her to snuff-film merchants. Marphisa was in an ugly state of mind right now, feeling ugly emotions as she thought of the sweet child that lay sleeping in her home–his daughter–and how much better he and Emeraude seemed to be at raising a child than she was.

She'd given Madolen _everything_ , thinking that would help her child grow into the sort of person one could be proud of. Instead, her adopted daughter had been vain and self-absorbed, thinking only of herself and her pleasures. This man had taken in her niece and loved her alongside the woman he'd already been married to. Together, the three had raised three wonderful children in spite of all the ugliness trying to destroy their home. She wanted that. She wanted a child of her own to love and to care for–someone who'd be there for her when she was too old to care for herself. She wanted to feel what it was like to have somebody love her.

Finn sensed the change in the older woman's mood before she pulled open her robe, exposing her gloriously mature body. "You said you wanted to help me," she whispered, as she came around the counter. Licking her lips, she said, "I've got money, King of Ooo. I've got money to last the rest of my very long life... I need something... less tangible..." Grasping his strong right hand, she pressed it against the curve of her belly. "Put something in here," she hissed. It took a moment. "Put a child in there," she whispered. "Fuck your bastard into me." He heard her _now_. Finn felt his face go warm. He was backpedaling within a couple of heartbeats. In spite of the massive hard-on tenting his pants, he backed away from her. "We can't do that," he muttered.

Marphisa kept coming, though. She kept coming as she told him about her failings with Madolen. She told him about how hard she'd tried and how much she'd needed a good man to help her. She kept trying to get her hands on him until she'd backed him up to the doorway of his room. Finn was forced to shut the door in her face.

Standing there, leaning against the door while she pleaded for him to come out, he found himself sweating as if he'd run a mile. That had been utterly terrifying because his dong had been doing a lot of thinking for him just then. He'd had no idea how blessed he'd been to get to an age where dipping his meat didn't matter that much to him. Now he was paying the price of still being alive instead of buried somewhere in a forgotten forest. A part of him was thinking that maybe it would be better for Nadia to get the nanobugs out of his body because there was a piece of him that seemed eternally hungry for pussy right now, and he was worried it would control him.

Marphisa was gone when Finn emerged from his room the following morning. She'd been there a while outside his door, crying mostly, but sometimes begging him to come out. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to E or Simone, but he didn't think he dared stay here again. That had been too much. It wasn't as if she was a hag after all. More to the point, he had a soft-spot for girls and their problems. All dudes did. It seemed so simple on the surface. She just wanted a baby to love. What girl didn't want that? With all the history between them, he would have been glad to help out. Problem was that he had too many entanglements as it was. He'd never get the world–and his life–back on track if he succumbed to thinking with his balls.

Finn was a little startled to find food waiting on he and Fionna. The pretty blonde yawned and stretched and then began putting food on their plates. A disturbed and worried Finn went outside and looked around in worry. It was too early for the bar to be opened. Even booze-hounds had to sleep and recover. Coming back inside, he sat down with his kid to have breakfast while he tried to figure out where their host had gone. They had to get out to the meet with the peanuts, and they had a couple of hours worth of driving to do to get there.

They ate quickly, saying little to each other. Really they both had the same thoughts in mind–worry for Marphisa and fears about what they were going to do today. This would make or break the trip. Taking out his phone, Finn flicked through his list of contacts before picking the most important of the day. "Piotr," he murmured. "Are we ready?" The cyborg was johnny on the spot with his answer. "Machine is in place, Your Majesty," Piotr announced. "We are ready when you are..." "Standby," said Finn. "And thanks, buddy." Rising, the big man pushed his plate aside and headed for his room to get dressed.

Heading downstairs, the pair came out to find their driver waiting. Shockingly, he was just finishing up his own breakfast, and he had a lunch basket in the back of the car for his passengers. At his masters' puzzlement, he said, "the plump woman gave me the basket. She had an appointment, but she said she'd have dinner when we got back." Finn sighed. He'd wanted a chance to talk to Marphisa about what had happened last night. He just hoped she was ok. "C'mon, daddy," said Fionna. "She'll talk when she's ready."

The drive was about what the big man had expected with Fionna mostly turned inward, gathering strength to use to accomplish what needed to get done today. This was it. He'd already mostly laid out where the southern barrier was going to lie. Now he needed to define the final boundaries of the northern barrier. Either the peanuts were in or out. Their choice. He had the same choice for Emeraude, but he hoped and prayed she would be a little more circumspect this time.

Arriving at the meeting place, they found both parties already on hand. E was there with her entire cabinet, suggesting that maybe things weren't going to go quite how he might have liked it. The peanuts were also on hand, though Baron Rolf had been wise enough not to bring his army this time. Striding up with Fionna at his side, the King's face was serene. He took careful note of the expressions of those he was meeting with. For Clarice, it was resignation. For Apolline it was vindication, which gave him hope. The clincher was Gemma's expression. He could see it, though she tried to guard it. She'd been outmaneuvered, and she wasn't happy about that.

"Ok," said Finn, "what's the answer?" His voice was calm, though he was seething inside. He would do what he had to do. Fionna was standing by and ready, and he knew that all parties now understood what she represented and why he would bring his pregnant daughter with him to the talks. Striding forward, Gemma opened with, "a point of clarification, Your Majesty..." Finn nodded. He could tell she was angry, but she was behaving so there was that.

Taking that for permission to speak, the older woman said, "we cannot denude the Grey Forest of all its trees for building materials... We have no place to quarry stone, and we already run the daily risk of fires from the uhm... _dubious_ dwellings of some of our folk..." "There's quarries in the west we still have access to," Finn replied. "Matron Clarice can come to Court, and there will be help provided to negotiate favorable terms. It does me little good to have my citizens perish while I'm still paying the debt for their defenses."

Several Matrons flushed to their hair at the pointed reminder of what he'd already done for them. Apolline and Auda both looked _smug_. "A-and the tax-abatement," burbled Emeraude? "Seven years, E," Finn replied. "That's all I can afford. You have that long to get things up and running. You have the land now to grow crops and raise stock. That's all I can give you. That's the deal." With a heavy sigh, she said, "alright, donk. Deal." Finn smiled at her.

Finn turned to his recalcitrant peanuts. Chin jutting, Rolf Kirchner growled, "you plan on levying no punishment..." Finn shrugged eloquently. They had been at war. Payment was owed. He could have done a lot worse than what he'd already taken from them. "We have long memories," growled the Baron. "Yeah," Finn replied. "Maudie's told me that a couple of times now–when she's not cussing me to hell and back." The mention of their jailed ruler stung. With a wordless growl, the lead peanut turned and stormed off. "Fi," Finn called. The peanuts stopped in their tracks. "Raising the barrier, father," replied Fionna.

It began as a low rumble. It grew in volume, as the young woman began to conjure the strange 'nodes' of crystalline stone that she'd learned to fashion. Talia's coaching and Nadia's work at teaching the young woman a little of the sciences she'd lacked had worked wonders over the intervening months. Now, as the wood-nymphs stared around them in shock and the peanuts in terror, pillars began to rise from the ground, growing even as they watched, until there was a line of them, a hundred feet tall, spanning the space where the peanuts had stood.

As the panicked peanuts stared back at him, Finn fished his phone out of his pocket. One of the peanut-folk tore out of there, headed for his car. Three more ran the other direction, hustling to be on the _friendly_ side of the barricade as Finn gave the order to his uncle-in-law to raise the barrier. In short order, they found themselves staring at Baron Rolf through the shimmering energy of the Tesla Barrier. The Peanut Kingdom was walled out. There was but one opening in the barrier now, and the tide of starving people would have to fight their way through the Baron's lands to get to it. It was coldly ruthless, and Emeraude reflected on that as she stared at her husband. "We should talk," he said. His voice was the flat that told her he was troubled by what he'd just done. Nodding, she said, "come to my garden."

Arriving back at the Grey Forest, Finn and his daughter parted ways. Fi was headed back to Marphisa's place to crash. Finn was headed to the Matriarch's place to talk. There was one last thing to get done. Arriving at the Matriarch's home, Finn was immediately admitted by Marianne the secretary. The chunky woman led him straight back to the garden where he found his wayward wife sitting by a pool, feeding the fish there. "Hey," he greeted her. Emeraude told her secretary, "see that I'm not disturbed, Marianne..." The fat wood-nymph bowed deeply before withdrawing.

Taking a chance, Finn came and sat beside his wife. "I've missed you," he said. The little woman lay her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for the drama," she murmured. "Me too," Finn admitted. Turning to face her, he said, "I was trying to help. I know you haven't got money..." Emeraude gave him an exasperated sigh. He was in the process of wrecking what little they had.

"I don't understand prostitution, E," Finn reminded her. "I don't understand what motivates a girl to do that to herself. I see what the dudes get. They get cheap love for a few coins, and they don't have to worry about any babies that show up. I don't understand why girls do this, so I assumed you'd be happy."

Emeraude flushed. She could have made this easier on him if she'd been forthcoming. She could have _talked_ through this with him instead of leaving it to others. She could imagine Cherry's views. The gangster was shockingly pragmatic about what she did. She was, somehow, _blessed_ to _see_ the evil in every action she took. The lord of the underworld was shedding an evil that made her very little return on investment for the human-misery she sowed. Legalizing the Trade wiped red-ink from her ledger.

For the Matriarch of the Grey Forest, it was disastrous. She allowed the madams to practice their business here. She even kept the chief whore on her cabinet as 'Minister for Industry'. She taxed it, just as Finn was proposing to tax it now. Only difference was that, if people could get it right where they lived, then she stood nothing to gain from the evil herself. She was cast in the position of fighting to maintain the ugliness in another place so she could eek out a few dirty coins at home. "You're neither of you thinking of this clearly," announced Auda.

The King and his Queen spun to face the intruder. "Let myself in," said the madam, as she held up a set of picks. Striding up to the pair, she said, "look at the two of you. Two rotten little do-gooders, trying to set all the sinners free." Both husband and wife flushed. "The thing that you don't understand, my King, is that you can't _stop_ the man or woman who seeks their own destruction." Finn gobbled at her. "That's right," she said. "Men and women both chase darkness with an unmatched fervor sometimes, and they themselves don't even know why. The only certainty is that you can't stop them from that headlong pursuit. Sometimes, they have to take darkness in their hands to know what they've been chasing."

Frowning, Emeraude demanded, "and your idea is to just let them have it?" With a shrug, the madam replied, "in a word? Yes. I'll control it. I'll channel it. I'll let those women wallow in the filth to their hearts content until the day they decide to walk away. I'll let the men indulge their little head at the expense of the big head. I'll take my cut from the top, and I'll keep those women from ending up in the gutter. If I'm successful, they'll walk away with enough coin to start over..." Glancing at her putative 'master', the madam said, "this is _our_ domain, Matriarch Emeraude. A woman can't be turned away from a fresh-start _here_. She can walk away and start over if she likes with no stigma from what she's done."

"Alright," said Finn. "Then I will change my decree..." Both women gave him identical wary looks. "What happens in the Grey Forest, can stay in the Grey Forest," Finn declared. "Any woman can work _here_. Under your rules, Matron Auda. Upon her decision to leave, she must leave the Trade, change her name, and assume a new identity. Let that world stay _here_. Fair?" "Brilliant, my King," said Auda. "I would go one step farther. Women who come here will leave their old names behind and be reborn. They may even be masked or veiled if they like." "And the cost," demanded Emeraude? "Same as before," said Finn. "A tithe of the earnings for the madams. A tithe for the Matriarch's protection, and a tithe for the Crown of Ooo's forbearance." "Done," declared Auda. Her eyes burned into Emeraude's, suggesting that this was a far better deal than they had a right to expect. "Done," sighed the wizard.

"Thank-you, Matron Auda," Finn declared. "You've helped me keep my promise. _Several_ of them." She bowed to him, though her eyes had a twinkle of mischief to them. Of course, the business was done, and it was clear that her presence wasn't wanted. She turned to go, and Finn watched her leave. "Staring at her ass, donk," demanded Emeraude. "Yeah," Finn replied. "Hormones of a teenager and all that. Haven't been able to stare at my wife's ass." She was blushing to her hair when he turned to face her.

His face had gone serious again. Reaching out, he cupped her face with his hand, and she flinched as if slapped. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. Finn gathered her into his arms and held her. She had a lot to feel sorry for, and she would have gone on in that vein until he stopped her. "Your only failing, E, is that you keep forgetting the fundamental lesson Simon tried to teach us," he whispered. "I'm your shield and support. Let me help you. Let _us_ help you." He meant the others. "I'm not good with writing," he said. "I let Beeps do that for me. I'm not good with math... I spent too many years being a goo-brain, and I don't have the time right now to spend having Bonnie spin me up, so I let her, Sarah, and Nadia do the brain biz. Let us help you with your problems, babe." Sniffing back tears, she promised she would do better about that.

Leaning in, the big man did his best to kiss those tears away. Maybe it was all the _practice_ he'd gotten, but the wizard-woman found that he'd gotten _much_ better in the time she'd been gone. Slipping her arms around her husband's neck, the Matriarch lost herself in the beautiful _ordinary_ feel of her husband's kisses. On his side, Finn inhaled her scent, filling his nose with the sensation of pine-needles against his nose. The dress did things for her that the old tight pants and low-cut tops never did. She was beautiful instead of slutty.

Kissing his way across her cheek, the big man nibbled at her dainty little ear as his hands stroked her plump knobs. He always touched them like they'd break, and he could drive her straight up the wall that way. His massive right hand glided along her left flank, working its way down her curves to that amazing butt of hers. All thought of what her cabinet might think of this fled Emeraude's mind. It was just the two of them, and nothing else mattered.

Deftly his fingers popped the buttons down her back, opening the silky blue-grey dress she wore. As it slid down off her shoulders, the big man returned to necking with her, nibbling at her tender flesh as his hands got to grips with her bare boobies. He was always giving her hickeys in the old days– _marking_ her. Now he did just that, marking her skin as a reminder to Gemma and whichever other idiots wanted to try taking her away from him. The Matriarch moaned softly at the feel of that, and her fingers tangled themselves in his hair. At the same time, she went for the buttons on his jacket. She wanted to touch him. She wanted to feel the hardness of his body.

They had been apart so long, it didn't take much to get him wound up. Knowing the guards weren't far away at all was just making it worse. He halfway feared somebody would try to stop them. He wanted her badly. He missed the feel of her fingers clawing at him. He missed the sound of her voice practically breaking when she got off. They'd been apart much too long.

Finn shoved the Matriarch on her back. Reaching up under her skirts, he got a handful of the silky panties she wore and practically snatched them off. "B-baby," she whined. She knew they really shouldn't keep going, but she couldn't get herself to stop either. She needed this too. Finn stuffed the panties in her mouth. Jerking her slim thighs wide, the big man dove down on her, causing her back to arch as she screamed into her own panties. He was so very good at that. Back arching, hands clawing at his scalp, she went over again, and then again moments later. He'd always liked the taste of wood-nymph snatch, though Bonnie, Cherry, and Lollipop kind of gave her a run for her money.

The little woman was panting like she'd run a few miles when he got done sampling the wares. Now, as he eased her legs up on his shoulders, she practically tore his shirt open, sending buttons flying. Head thrashing, she squealed a high-pitch cry as her man eased that fat dong into her snatch. Her fingertips could easily feel the rough scratches and scars on him. Simone's work. Or maybe Betty's. It was a little twisted and kinky to think about that. He was banging Simone and her mom both. The idea made the wood-nymph hot as hell. Did he do them both at once? She wondered. At the same time, he was screwing the shit out of _her_ , and she was loving every moment.

Bending down, Finn got to grips with her plump knobs, nipping and slurping at them, making her shriek. They were one big nasty as they got closer and closer to the end. Harder and faster he went, and they both knew the guards could hear. Neither gave two fucks though. When she felt him shoot off, she lost it too, as she clawed his chest hard enough to leave scratches of her own. Finn practically collapsed on top of her, crushing her body into the hard stone of the bench. Not that she cared much. Finally the big man realized what he was doing and sat up in a rush. Emeraude grabbed his collar and pulled his face back to hers, and it was an effort not to go again. He missed her. "Then you'll come back," she sighed. "The Matriarch still kind of owes you..." Finn blushed. He didn't mind her method of paying him back at all.

Unfortunately, he did have to go. After helping his lady pull herself back together, the King of Ooo took his leave of the Matriarch of the Grey Forest, returning to his borrowed quarters. He'd sort of been dreading going back to Marphisa's place, but he found the plump wood-nymph up at the stove, teaching Fionna how to cook when he walked in. She was in a pleasant enough mood, and he pitched in out of a desire not to spoil things. Their host kept things firmly in the realm of pleasant familial bonds, even when Finn would have asked where she'd been. In the end, he was happy with the peace they had, and, professing he was tired, he took himself off to bed early.

Keyed up as he was, the big man found sleep came slowly and in fits and starts. At the same time, he didn't _dare_ get out of bed and risk going out to find Marphisa in the kitchen. When sleep finally claimed him in the wee hours of the morning, he was grateful. His host didn't trouble him by knocking on the door, and Finn finally woke to the smell of food cooking on the stove once more.

Rising, he washed before heading out to see his wife's aunt one last time. Fionna was already there, dressed in her traveling gear of skort, tee-shirt, and knee-socks over hiking-boots. For the briefest of moments, she was his little girl again. At least until she turned to face him, and his eyes caught sight of the jewel. Patrick's boon and curse. It had helped them win the last war, and it had forever taken away the Fionna that Finn remembered. Striding forward, he shooed Marphisa to the table and finished up breakfast himself.

They talked a little. Nobody wanted to disturb the mood, and it hardly felt like he'd _won_ here. He was leaving his wife's favorite aunt in kind of a spot, and he was leaving Emeraude herself here when he was sick of having her gone. _But I can still come back,_ he thought. He'd have to just talk to E about what her aunt was going through. He didn't want her to suffer. She'd done so much for them as it was. Finally the driver came upstairs to let them know the car was ready to go.

Standing on the balcony outside her door, Marphisa hugged Fionna goodbye. The pretty blonde said not a word about how hard her grand-aunt was squeezing her. She'd gotten an earful listening to what the older woman had said about her cousin Madolen, and she felt pity more than anything, even though she'd never known Maddie. Nor did the Bad Bunny say a word when her daddy lingered to say goodbye in private. Instead, Fionna went down the stairs to catch up to the driver. When she was gone, Finn slipped his arms around his wife's favorite aunt. "I'm sorry," she murmured. There were tears in her voice. "For what," Finn replied? He'd forgiven her the moment it happened.

Kissing her cheek, the big man put his lips to her ear and said, "if I ever find myself in a position to help a woman that way, I wouldn't hesitate to give you that. I can't, but you mean the world to me and my family. You're the fountain of Emeraude's courage and the example she's tried to live up to all her life. Thank-you." And then he turned and headed down the stairs, leaving the plump woman staring after him in shock.

 **The Nymphs are back in check, and the Peanuts go it alone.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

"Quite the week," Simone opined. Finn chuckled. Four kids in one week. Drew was stressing, and he'd twice made her sit down and put work aside. Finn hardly seemed affected at all. He was delighted. His last–almost–trip to the baby-shop was going to end with a bang. He'd sort of been seeding the ground, hinting that maybe this would be his last hurrah. After all, none of them was getting younger. Drew was happy with the idea, though Nadia had been conspicuously noncommital, and Strudel had gone into a sulk at the suggestion. Finn thought he might have to do something there, but he had a hope of shutting things down with the others. Phoebes had a boy and girl. Nadia did too. Cherry and Lollipop both had the daughters they'd dreamed of. So maybe one more and done.

Simone was first up to bat this week. Jewel had announced her intent to drop in while the Ice Queen was haranguing the Wizard Cops about turning people into sticks without any sort of trial or judgement. That suggested to Drew that the rest would be showing up real soon, and she'd begun making preparations for a veritable fiesta of childbirth. Standing by Simone's side, the big man held her hand like he'd done twenty years back with Billy. Simone merely smiled. Some things never changed.

As the minutes turned into hours, Drew came and went, checking up on preparations and looking in on the patient. Bonnie and Lollipop came with papers to sign and decisions for Finn to make. Betty arrived as the show mostly moved to the waiting room. Scrubbing up just like Finn, she joined the procession to the delivery room. On the way, a ringing phone announced that Abeiuwa had reached the end of her journey with her first child. A distracted Drew found herself delegating the job to somebody else, even when it was clear she wanted to rush to the other room. Complications. They'd lived in dread of them for months now. Finn found himself thinking of Maja. She was close. She would be giving birth soon too, and he'd have to deal with the fallout of that, however it came to him.

Across from him, Betty did her best to project calm both to her daughter and their husband. This wasn't the time for worry. Billy was a man now. He would have to step up and deal with things just the way his father had before him. Finn gathered himself, the same way he always did, focusing with razor-edged clarity on the moment before him. His daughter was coming into the world. He had a child that needed him right now.

In the surgery, the staff got Simone on the table, strapped her legs into the stirrups, and Drew got into position to make the delivery. And Finn and Betty? They just held on as the Ice Queen struggled to eject her tenant. It was tough going, but mother and husband coached and coaxed the pale woman through the process. And when they brought little Jewel to her, Simone's face showed nothing but triumphal delight. Then it was time to wrap things up, get mother and daughter to recovery and postnatal respectively, then go look in on Billy and Abeiuwa. Betty admonished her husband to get going, while she went with Simone to the recovery room.

Abeiuwa, much like all the princesses, was getting older, and while she still looked as fit as the day Finn had first met her what seemed like a lifetime ago, she definitely had miles on the chassis. She struggled with delivering little Adaeze. Standing at the window, looking into the surgery, Finn could see the terror on his son's face, and he prayed for Bill to hold on. He had to hold on because right now Abeiuwa was struggling to keep going. Terrifying thoughts filtered through the big man's mind. He feared that the little girl would be born bent and twisted by what Wildberry had done. He feared that maybe his curse somehow _had_ jumped to Abeiuwa's child. Honestly, there were moments _he_ was a little terrified. Still, Billy stuck it out, holding onto his unexpected wife's hand with all his strength until finally his second child had made her debut.

Unlike with Simone, there was no triumphal celebration in the surgery. Drained as she was, Abeiuwa was barely able to mouth the syllables of her daughter's name before she was unconscious. Billy brought his first daughter out of the surgery, cradling her like she was a delicate glass vase. "What do you think, dad," he murmured? He sounded as if he was in awe. Finn knew the feeling well, because he'd felt it when all three of his first children were born. He didn't begrudge Billy the moment, but Finn was just delighted to know that his granddaughter was breathing and had all her fingers and toes. He told his boy, "get her to the intensive care unit, Bill. You can stare at her later." Shaking off his stupor, Billy flushed to his hair. As he rushed back into to the surgery to hand off his daughter, Finn offered him a heartfelt congratulations.

They had two down. Cherry, Lollipop, Nadia, and Ingrid were still to come with Breakfast waiting in the wings for her _turn_ , and Maja looking like the most risky birth of all. It was his crazy life, and he still had to get back to the palace and go back to work. There were problems waiting on solutions. Sarah had her kelp-to-food process up and running, but it had taken longer than they had wanted. The tide of starving people was starting to break against the Tesla Barrier, and Peanut Kingdom was in danger of being overrun. While he'd put the peanuts in a bad position intentionally to defuse their anger and turn their resources away from making war on the other kingdoms, he didn't want them getting plowed under either.

And he still had to figure out what to do about Hurletta.

His old and dear friend still wanted her sister's scalp, and Finn was fighting down the growing calls from among his own inner circle to hand Blargetha over. They could use 'Letta's troops to reinforce the border. There were gaps and holes in coverage that were worrying Ingrid. If the starving masses in the east moved around Wildberry Kingdom and came at them from the south and east, they could be in Noemi's kingdom or hers in short order. She wanted the Slime Guard patrolling their remaining borders as soon as she could get them. Strudel and Breakfast both wanted to punish Blargetha as a surrogate for Wildberry. Wildberry was a sitting Royal, and somewhat immune to punishment. Blargetha had committed crimes against her own people, and hers was the blood they could enjoy right now.

All the way down the stairs to the first floor, the big man pondered the imponderable. How could he possibly get 'Letta to relent on having her sister murdered without creating an irrecoverable breach in the peace? There weren't a lot of good options, and he wasn't anxious to go for a wallow in the muck right after fighting down the Lich and his undead army both. Unfortunately, no wonderful plan popped into his head as he exited the stairwell, and Finn found himself standing outside the Candy Clinic alone and with no strategy at hand. Climbing into the back of his car, Finn told the driver to take the long way home. He needed time to think.

Hundreds of miles north and east, Gemma walked into a small suite in the ugly pleasure-district west of the forest. The madams had been _celebrating_ since news came of their dubious _victory_. The decision had been a humiliation for the Matriarch's _advisor_. Gemma's influence had failed spectacularly. The fails kept right on coming as the Matriarch had departed shortly thereafter for 'home' to see her 'friend', leaving Apolline of all people in charge. The older woman felt a great and abiding sense of unease and worry as she walked into the seedy little hotel. That feeling grew worse as she took in the sight of her master's nasty henchman sitting there in that little room.

Móguĭ was a creature of indeterminate origin. He might have been one of Ooo's mutants. He might have been a demon out of the Night-O-Sphere. What was certain was that he was an ugly, ugly creature who's many crimes made Gemma's own crimes seem like acts of charity. The nymph did her best to hide her terror as she confronted her potential murderer. "Why isn't Chelsea here," she demanded? The misshapen brute answered that question with one of his own, asking, "why is the Grey Forest located on _this_ side of the barrier?" Gemma flushed. She was supposed to induce the King of Ooo to sanction these hedonistic fools. They were leverage on a man who held ultimate power right now. With them protected behind the barricade, they were out of reach of the army.

"She's his _woman_ ," Gemma retorted! "How did you _think_ that was going to go?!" It wasn't as if Gemma could compete with a wish-spell. The assassin's hand flexed minutely, causing the nymph to think of those fingers around her neck. Forcing calm into her voice, she said, "I'm still in her confidence. I can maybe influence him _through_ her." The assassin seemed to consider that. Doing her best to sell that idea, the nymph said, "he tells her things. Half his cabinet are his bitches..." The evil man pondered that for several moments. Gemma, poised between life and death, held her breath. "Perhaps you get to live, Gemma," rumbled Móguĭ.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Finn returned home to find a surprise waiting on him. Emeraude. In his office. And looking lovely. Shutting the door in Beeps' face, Finn strode forward and carefully embraced her. She could smell the mediciny smell that told her where he'd been. "Simone," she murmured? "Just went to recovery," Finn replied. "Jewel's fine. Curse is gone..." When she would have apologized for missing the birth, he shushed her. "We'll go see her tomorrow," he said. He bade her sit. They had lots to talk about.

As the former Huntress Wizard listened in fascination, the big man caught her up on doings. She had missed a pile of events. Everything from Jewel's birth to the birth of Billy's little girl. News that Star was having twins floored her. Thor was in for interesting times. As Finn could attest, raising one wood-nymph hellion was a tough proposition. Two at once? The idea left him shivering. On her side, Emeraude had news of her own. She'd reached a compromise with her council. He would have quarters in the Matriarch's compound when next he visited.

Finn greeted that news with his usual humility, promising to follow the rules when he was there. He was more concerned about the other problems he'd witnessed. He wanted to work out something for the building materials problem ASAP. He was also concerned about Marphisa's well-being. Emeraude had pried out of Fionna just what had happened at her aunt's place. She was mortified that somebody would hit her aunt. "She needs help, babe," Finn said. "I... don't like seeing her do that whole sleepless thing night after night..." Before Emeraude could reply, the door opened and Hurletta barged in, looking furious. Beeps' red face told that she'd tried to stop the angry slime person.

"Ok, 'Letta," said Finn. "Let's talk. E? Beeps? Take a walk please." Emeraude clamped her mouth shut on what she'd been about to say. Rising, she straightened her skirt in dignified fashion, somewhat _daring_ Slime Princess to complain. The angry princess _fumed_ , but that was about all she could do. Finn wasn't Bonnie. He seemed to realize he was holding the cards, and he showed no reluctance to use them.

When his wives had gone, the big man turned to his long-time friend and said, "well?" It wasn't a hopeful beginning. He was anything but conciliatory. "You've been avoiding me," she snarled. "Nope," Finn replied. "Been busy putting our world back together. I didn't have time for your anger, 'Letta." That came as something like a slap in the face, and she got in his face and started screaming threats. Finn let her scream until her voice cracked. His expression never wavered.

The King of Ooo declared, "I can bring her out of that dungeon and hand her over _tonight_ , 'Letta, but I want you to answer me one question. What will change?" The slime-person stared at him in confusion. She clearly had no idea how to answer that. "I want her t'die," growled the Slime Princess. It sounded petulant even to her. "'Letta," said Finn. "This isn't going to change anything..." "What would _you_ know about it," growled the princess? What indeed?

"I had to go through this with Bonnie," Finn murmured. "I had to go through it with Emeraude. I had to go through it again with Breakfast and Toast." "That's all well and good," retorted the angry princess, "but you know nothing about what this _feels_ like!" "Don't I," he retorted. "You forget, 'Letta. I _lived_ this. I had a... a _thing_ in my skull, whispering to me for _days_. I had those thoughts in my head for _weeks_ afterwards. All the ugly things it was going to do to the people I loved... with _my_ hands." Hurletta's face whipped around, and she had the sense to be a little embarrassed. She _had_ forgotten that. It had been the talk of the Council for a while. What had that done to their hero? What was Finn now? Did he still have all that ugliness inside him? They'd all talked about it, but nobody had thought about how _he_ felt.

"It wanted to torture Simone," Finn whispered. "It wanted to cut my baby from her body while she was still alive. It wanted to hurt E in every way that she feared. When I fought it for control of my body... the more I fought it, the more it showed me those things. It was like _living_ those moments. I know exactly how you feel because I've felt it so many times I've wanted never to feel again."

Venting her pain and anger, Hurletta slapped him several times. Stoically, Finn let her. Dr. P had taught him that this was part of recovery too. You had to get angry to get well. He just had to steer her past her rage. Softly, he told her, "when I caught up with my dad and his dudes, and I'd faced them all down, I cut my dad's arm off at the elbow. I _beat_ him with it, and I would have kept on beating him and beating him and beating him because I just knew what he'd been doing to Peebles. E had to stop me. After, I was ashamed to be a dude, and I was afraid to even touch Bonnie–even to hug her–when I wanted so much to comfort her. I was so sick after that creature stole my body, I couldn't even sleep in the same bed with Simone. It made my skin crawl. Not because of her, but because of what he'd made _me_ feel."

Those words _shocked_ the princess, and she stood there staring at him. Nodding, he told her, "after I learned about Toast and Beeps... about what Wildberry did to them, I sent someone out to find the men who hurt them because I was gonna' hurt every last one of them... bad. I was going to hurt them and hurt them and hurt them while Toast watched. But Beeps talked me out of it. She talked sense into me."

Resting his hands on her shoulders, the big man studied her. "You can't go back, 'Letta," he said. "You can't make it go away no matter how many times you hurt somebody else. You'll be right back where you started. Angry and bitter and wishing it would go away. Only you'll know that you murdered your sister. Just like I did in my dad." It was as plain as the nose on her face that she hadn't thought that far ahead and really had no idea what it actually meant to have what she'd so fervently wanted.

The princess was reduced to tears in just a couple of breaths. He let her cry on him. He let her cry until she was all cried out. "I missed you," he sighed. "I was terrified she'd hurt you and worried that I'd never see you again. I'm glad you're ok. I'm here for you. I helped Peebles get through what my dad did to her, and Dr. P helped me get through what that thing did to me. Now you and me, we're going to work on this together. Ok?" Nodding, she kissed his cheek.

Stepping back, Finn said, "I'd like you to return to the Inner Council. I could use good advice... when you're ready of course..." Her breath caught. Finn said, "you're good with money. I need that kind of help." "O-ok," she burbled. Smiling, Finn sat her down and talked her through all that he had going on. It wanted to make her head spin. He hadn't been lieing about _that_. He _was_ a busy little bastard. In the end, she left not with her evil sister's broken corpse but _homework_. Finn had a pile of work for his new treasurer to do.

In the no-man's land that lay between Emerald and Laurel Kingdoms, prince Qasim Qassam stood at the dice table in an illicit gambling hall looking at long odds. He'd really screwed up this time. Staring at the loss of an emerald worth many thousands of gold coins, he could only think of his aunt's unpleasant reaction. Princess Aysun was going to kill him! The moralists preached it. The gambling house _always_ won. Anybody fool enough to enter such a place was _doomed_. Qasim, of all his people, was particularly proscribed. He was heir to the throne! They couldn't have a gambling addict be heir!

Unfortunately, Qasim was thirty-thousand coins in the hole. He'd put the emerald up as collateral because he had no money left, but if he quit now, they couldn't give him half an emerald in change. He would be going home without the treasure. Eventually his aunt would find out. Shortly after, he might be looking for his head. "You playing," demanded the croupier? Now it appeared he was out of time to even ponder what to do. With a sigh, Qasim raised his hand, closed his eyes, and hurled the dice, praying as never before. "Snakeyes," called the attendant! "Table wins!" Qasim's heart sank. Unfortunately, things were about to get much worse.

As the stunned prince stared, two hulking brutes locked onto his arms. No-one said a word as the thugs hauled the hapless royal away. "Wait," he howled! "I-I... W-why're you doing this?!" The implacable bruisers kept right on trucking. Of course since he'd ditched his bodyguards for this little jaunt into sin, he had nobody to call for help or to rescue him. They might not even know where to look.

The young prince was hauled through the Forbidden Door. He'd seen men and women get caught out betting too high, losing too much, or worse, cheating. They got snatched up, dragged through the forbidden door, and most were never seen again. Qasim had wondered how he would handle that. The vain or studly swore they'd go like men. Qasim had sworn the same, even though, deep-down he _knew_ he was a chicken. Now, instead of going stoically, he screamed like a girl.

The space behind that door was dark, dank, and frightening, contrasting starkly with the casino. As those ugly men dragged him down the long, dim corridors, he got an impression of a deep, dark, cavernous bunker. The casino was but a small part of the space, and he was finally seeing its true face. That knowledge terrified him. Not that he was given a lot of time to dwell on that. His captors dragged him into a darkened room that felt like a tomb. They drug him up in front of a strange woman with chalky-white skin and horns curving up from her temples.

Fingering his lost emerald, the stranger opined, "you appear to have something of an addiction, Prince Qasim..." Leaning forward, she said, "I imagine you'd like to have this back..." The prince flushed. He was desperate to have the stone back. Smiling a sinister smile, the evil creature said, "the deal is this. You pledge obedience. I give you the stone." "If I don't," he rumbled? With a shrug, she said, "you never walk out of here again..."

 **Hmm... Who's Gemma working for?**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Lollipop looked her hubby over with a critical eye. This was a first on a number of levels, and she wanted every little thing to go right. This was the first time that Bonnie wasn't acting as leader of the Princess Privy Council. Like most people on Ooo, Lollipop didn't count the unpleasant times where Wildberry had tried to usurp control. On top of that, this would be the first time Finn himself would address the council as something more than their henchman or dog. Her husband was a man of means and power now, and she'd dressed him to reflect that.

Today's suit was a dapper number in blue-grey with a creamy white shirt. She'd chosen shoes in black that were polished until she could see her reflection in them. Cherry had contributed a tie in a vibrant red, and Drew provided a single red rose for his jacket pocket. Ingrid had sent down a hand-tooled leather sheathe for his famous sword, and Lollipop had even had his famous bear-hat refurbished so it no longer looked battered and tatty. She'd washed him herself, given him a manicure, trimmed his beard, combed his hair, and now he looked the business. He was so yummy, she would have jumped him. At least she would have if Drew would have allowed it. Nine months pregnant, she'd been 'cut off' for months.

Standing in front of the mirror, staring at himself, Finn had a lot to reflect on. He'd never dressed this way. He knew the importance of it. He'd known that as long as he'd known Bonnie. At the same time, He'd never really had a lot of reasons to try and impress these women. He'd been too busy saving their lives for the early piece of his life when it might have mattered. And later, he'd been _married_. It had occurred to him from time to time that maybe they might have been a little annoyed by that. Bonnie had hit him with that a couple of times, even suggesting it was why they'd never been a _thing_. Finn had pushed that aside for the struggle of raising five kids and managing his two wives. Now, he was a in a different world, and the things he'd ignored or pushed aside mattered a lot.

"What are our chances, Bonnie," he asked? It came out of the blue. The pink terror frowned at him. She'd never known him to not sound over-the-top confident, even when they were both scared out of their minds. "With you running amok and doing whatever jumps into your head," she asked? "Ten percent." Lollipop flinched, and she found herself glaring at Bonnie. The pink princess strode up and kissed their husband's cheek then, whispering, "but I'm usually wrong about that. See you in the meeting." Lollipop glared at her back, as the candy-princess walked out the door. Slipping his arms around her, Finn kissed his tasty treat. "I'll see you later, babe," he said. Lollipop insisted on wiping the lipstick off his cheek before letting him get on his way.

The council hall was _full_ as Finn strode in through the main door. He was observing all the little formalities. While it was, technically, _Bonnie's_ palace and her audience hall, she'd always come in the front door like everybody else, since this was supposed to be a council of equals. Finn had struggled with that for over a week, with various factions suggesting other things. Ingrid naturally felt that, as King, he should come in through the private door in the back. He was warlord and master of the machine-army. He had the power. Cherry feared attack and attempted assassination. Bonnie and Nadia counseled that he shouldn't make waves so soon. Ragnhild and Noemi had both suggested that maybe it was time for there to be waves. The world had changed, and they weren't making things better with all the pretense.

In the end, Finn had decided that he would balance things out. He was planning on making plenty of waves already, what with levying taxes on the various kingdoms and planning on expanding the army. That didn't even get into some of the social changes they were looking at. He was looking at announcing some of his more shocking decrees here to an audience that would be absolutely stunned to realize that he _could_ issue decrees. Bonnie had urged caution with that, but it was the one thing that Finn had decided he couldn't really be cautious with. If they thought they could pressure him into changing course, he would be screwed because they would balk at every decree he issued. _So be bold, buddy,_ he told himself. _You'll only get one chance._

When the meeting was called to order, Finn rose, stepped to the center of the room, and in Kingly fashion, began to address his subordinates. Bitter faces greeted that. He, the jumped up peasant–their former _dog_ , dared treat them as _subordinates_. The women who had elected him King collected a lot of dirty looks that 'd created the monster as it were.

Finn got his first real challenge out of Aysun. She went right at him, declaring that _she_ hadn't voted to name him King. Finn responded by simply declaring her guilty of treason and making her an outlaw on the spot. Bonnie gripped her chair in a white-knuckle grip as Finn coldly told the Emerald Princess he would disband her army and jail the entire royal family of the Emerald Kingdom. The proud princess was reduced to tears, her show of defiance collapsing faster than it started. Nobody else got out of pocket. Nobody dared. It was just as Finn had said. He had the power. It was pointless to pretend otherwise.

Finn moved on. He delivered a shockingly eloquent speech about the challenges facing their world. He was calm, polite, and firm. It was a performance like the one he'd given at the start of the Lich War. In the end, he got his way. There was muted grumbling about his edicts but no more than that. At the King's command, Ragnhild dissolved the meeting.

The meeting had gone about as well as he'd guessed it would. Which was to say that everybody was pissed, and there were a whole pack of faces who were possibly regretting voting for him as Warlord of Ooo. At the same time, the change needed to happen. The old methods of doing business had to go. This was the world they had. With Thor at his back and Betty at his side, the King of Ooo mingled with the members of the Council who hadn't already gone, doing his best to sell the reforms to them while making it clear that he wasn't backing down.

While he stood talking to Turtle Prince, he was aware of someone slipping through the crowd to his side, but he didn't realize it was Sheila until she greeted him. "G'day, Finn," she announced. "Hey, princess...," he started to say. That was when he got the shock. Betty, who'd been doing her best to listen to multiple conversations at once, locked onto that sudden change in tone like a missile. Her eyes flicked to Finn's face, and then down to what he was looking at. Was that a baby-bump?!

He'd told them about this bitch getting him hammered on narcotic honey. Their husband never hesitated to tell them everything that was going on with him. It was sometimes disconcerting, but Betty always used it as a basis to work out problems. The news that one of their colleagues had actually _drugged_ their husband to have her way with him had led to several of them considering a beating, with Ingrid and Breakfast un-ironically leading the way. Now, it appeared that Sheila had spun multiple levels to her nasty little scheme.

"Mind if we talk," said Sheila. "Private..." A disturbed Finn excused himself from the circle of Royals he'd been chatting with. Stepping off towards the private chamber at the back of the hall, Finn led his new Royal Problem towards the more private room back there, with Betty doing her best to put off any questions the Turtle Prince had. She wanted to break away. She wanted to break away and see what the hell it was that Sheila had to say _now_. Cherry was already on the case, though, sending Thor to the hall to listen.

No sooner had Finn shut the door on the murmur of conversation in the council chamber than Sheila thew herself on him, pressing her lips to his and teasing him with that rough, raspy tongue of hers. Finn pushed her away, but she wore a grin a mile wide anyway. "What gives," he asked? Her eyes suggested that he already knew the answer. Leaning in, she put her lips to Finn's ear and whispered, "poked holes in that rubber, love..." To emphasize the point, she took his hand and put it against the slight bump in her tummy. Finn's face went terribly pale as she forced his fingers to stroke the home of his newest child. "Her name's Susie," whispered the blonde bombshell.

His howl of ' _what_?!' could be heard in the council hall. Betty brushed the Turtle Prince off and came rushing to the door, only to find it locked from the inside. Within the room, Finn was pulling at his hair in horror and rage as he paced furiously. What the fuck was he going to do with _this_?! Sheila laughed it off as if it was all a big joke. "Oh, Finn," chuckled the busty princess, "I live on the far side o'the world! Fair-dinkum. I'm not gonna' ask you t'drop everything to live with me! I... just wanted a little fun aaaand, well, a baby..." Forcing the irritation from his voice, "but you've made me responsible for a _child_ , Sheila."

It was clear from her expression that she really hadn't expected that reaction. "I-I don't understand," she burbled. "No," he muttered. "I don't imagine you would." He stood there a moment, his blue eyes burning into hers, and she could all but _feel_ the rage. At the same time, his expression was dead calm. "Thor," he muttered. His captain of the guard came in through the opposite door where he'd been listening. "Please escort Princess Sheila upstairs to the Penitent Suite and confine her there," announced the King. "She is charged with unlawfully drugging a Royal Person." Sheila's jaw came unhinged, but Thor hesitated not a moment before grabbing her by the arm and dragging her towards the door. "F-Finn," she howled?! "I... I don't understand." "No," he muttered, "but you soon will."

The news spread fast. It was hard not to notice a fellow Royal being hauled away. Shortly thereafter the rumors got started. Sheila hadn't exactly been _careful_ of who she'd told about her antics, and it wasn't hard to put two-and-two together to get the sum. The idea that Finn would imprison one of them for something so seemingly _small_ shocked some, terrified others, and left the entire council in turmoil.

Of course that paled in comparison to the turmoil in Finn's family. Ingrid, Breakfast, Marceline, Lollipop, Emeraude, and Phoebe were all in on the 'beat Sheila' campaign now with Cherry, Nadia, and Strudel wavering on the edge. Simone, Bonnie, and Betty were doing their best to talk the others down from their rage, and Sarah and Drew were primarily concerned with checking _Susie_ over to make sure she didn't have the Quicksilver Curse. Sitting on the sidelines, the kids were in a state of bemusement over the whole business, with Billy feeling a little guilty for bailing on his dad. If he hadn't slipped off, the big blue dufus might have been able to dodge this latest entanglement.

Finn himself sat in the chair at the head of the table staring into space and looking mortally depressed. He'd summoned the pack of them as soon as he got free of the council meeting, but he'd spent most of the time looking mortified and flinching in embarrassment whenever somebody pointed out what Sheila had done. Somewhere around the time Phoebe suggested simply _taking_ the child, the big man finally seemed to have had enough. Rising, he told them all, "none of these answers are acceptable. Meeting adjourned." Without another word, he strode straight out the door.

A worried Cherry ordered Thor to follow him. Bon stepped in then, saying, "no, mother. He needs time to think. Alone." Turning to the others, he said, "anger isn't going to solve this. Sanctions levied in anger are only going to make this worse. Every last one of you is guilty of doing something pretty awful in the last five years, so let's have no more talk about punishments. Let's talk about how we're going to move forward." The Royal Moms got very quiet just then, not least because that was all true.

For his part, Finn found himself riding alone in an old Banana-Guard truck, literally taken from the driver as he stood talking in the courtyard with one of his colleagues. Finn simply got in it and drove off. He wandered for a time. Taking the turns through the back-streets of Bonnie's capitol in a daze, he tried thinking his way through this mess and utterly failed. He'd been so careful. He'd done his best to be careful and live up to the example his wives and kids expected. Sheila had blown the whole thing out of the water in the blink of an eye. Now he sort of understood why people had Royal Food-Tasters. If someone he called a _friend_ could do this to him, he shuddered to think what people who meant him harm would do.

As the sun set, the big man found himself no closer to figuring out what to do than he'd been before he set out. He was supposed to spend time with Sarah and Betty tonight, but his heart wasn't really in it. He felt like he'd sort of betrayed them. At the same time, he felt betrayed himself. And what would Sakura say when _she_ found out? He'd put her off with the excuse that he was married, and then he'd ended up banging her best friend. A corner of his mind that he'd come to associate with his instinct for self-preservation had a chilling warning for him.

He'd been blasé about turning down Princesses when he was a kid. He'd grown wary when he became a man, realizing, after the screw-up in Wildberry's Kingdom, that those madwomen had real power to hurt him and his friends and family. He'd become adept at putting them down without hurting them. He'd gotten a glimpse of what could happen if he let himself get into trouble with _one_ of them when Nadia tried for him on the flight home from Talia's place. Nadia had been burning-up with jealousy. So much so that he'd been a little worried that she'd take it too far. Sheila had sort of put him in that spot again.

"I need a drink," he muttered. He knew he shouldn't. He'd called himself done with even bark-beer after the months of drinking his sorrows away while Simone and E were gone. Now, he was at the bottom again, and the hunger was back. When the light turned green, he turned right, bound for the capitol's odd little 'red-light' district. He took the turns as one who was too familiar with them. Lost in a fog, he wasn't even aware of the car that had been following him half the day.

Rolling down the main drag in unpleasantly familiar surroundings, Finn found the whole district was quiet and all but dead, with only a couple of gentleman's clubs still open. His mind wondered at that. Had he been gone that long? He knew the nymphs had decamped back to the Grey Forest after the war with the Lich and the subsequent events the following year, drying up a lot of the vice. Since then, Cherry's Capos had been rather busy hunting down everybody involved with freeing the Lich or supporting Sugarlump and Marjorie. Still, there should still have been a few ho's on the street, right?

Arriving out front of Riley's club, the big man parked the truck out front as if he couldn't be bothered to care about the 'no-parking' sign. Who was going to tow an official truck after all? Striding inside, he found the place had changed quite a bit. For starters, the crowd was thinner, and he didn't see TV hanging out front, watching the girls strut their stuff. On stage, Teri was doing her thing, and there was no sign of Pearl, Tallulah, Nickie, or Velvet. That raised his hackles, making him wonder what had happened to the girls.

Striding up to the bar, he found Riley there at the counter, serving the few patrons seated there. "Hello, sailor," announced Riley, as she caught sight of Finn the Human. King _Finn_ , her mind amended. She'd been thinking of him only that afternoon. Teri had seen the processions of princesses as they went blitzing through on main-street. She'd come back to help open the bar in the hope that some of those bodyguards would be down here in the evening after they put their masters to bed. They'd both talked about the man the Royals had come to see. They'd done nothing but talk about him while they worked to get the place set up.

It was kind of crazy. Here was the man she'd infected with the hug-wolf curse who had, somehow, saved the both of them. Here was the man she'd been half in love with for more than twenty years. He'd saved the world countless times, and his body bore the scars of that life. And still her panties got a little wet just looking at him. Teri was in the same spot. Finn the Human had saved her from being tortured to death by a sick fuck so he could get his jollies from it. It was funny to think that the two of them shared that in common. And they both wanted him.

In spite of the time they'd been together, they both wanted _Finn_. It was a hopeless dream, and Teri especially tried to keep it from wrecking what they had between them. At the same time, when they saw him out and about with one of those others, it was hard not to think about being one of the gang. He had fourteen. What was one or two more?

Glancing around uncertainly, Finn sat himself at the bar. His face looked haunted, and Riley found herself thinking that one of the girls had done it to him _again_. He had the face of a man who was looking at an ugly mess in his house and needing an escape. "Ok," she said, "what did they do _this_ time?" Finn flushed as his friend immediately zeroed in on his reason for coming. Instead of answering, Finn asked a counter-question. "Where is everybody," he murmured?

With a shrug, Riley replied, "quit. Velvet's back at the morgue. Nickie's working three jobs. Tallulah went home, wherever that is." "Pearl," he asked? With a sigh, Riley replied, "she and TV moved in with his mom. They're struggling, babe." "I'm sorry," Finn murmured. He felt responsible for bringing trouble. "What trouble," she replied? "It's the local banana-guard that's the problem. He's taking bribes from all the local businesses. If you can't pay, he beats up your customers..." Finn goggled at her. He wouldn't have expected one of the bananas to do something like that!

Shaking her head, Riley informed him, "not a banana. A banana-guard. It's some punk from Muscle Kingdom who showed up after you put down the Lich." Finn vaguely recalled Fionna and Star deputizing a bunch of those guys at the height of the crisis. He'd given very little thought to the business at the time. They'd needed warm bodies, and it had been all hands on deck. Later, with the weight of the world literally on his back, he'd spent no time at all on worrying about his friends. Now he wondered what else was going on. As he opened his mouth to question Riley on what was happening, she announced, "my turn..." As Finn spun in his chair to see what she meant, he spotted Teri leaving the stage. The bouncer had to take a turn as barkeep until Teri came out of the back, fully dressed once more.

"Been awhile," the wood-nymph announced. She sounded _cheerful_. "Yeah," Finn sighed. He sounded _disturbed_ to her ears. "Ok," said the nymph. "What's going wrong now?" He indicated the half-empty bar and said, "sometimes feel like a failure. I tried to protect you guys, but the bar's hurting anyway..." Shoving a Berry-Blitzer under his nose, she said, "you take shit too personal, babe. I'd say we're doing good."

She had a half-hundred funny stories to relate. Riley had gathered up all the girls and their families and headed south when the undead were on the rampage. She'd done what she could to get them to the coast, reasoning that they could get a boat and maybe reach safety over the sea. They'd fallen in with a bunch of Froyo-folk and had a grand time. With the world looking like it was going to end, real-soon-now, Riley had proposed. They'd gotten hitched in Muscle Kingdom.

Finn felt a little embarrassed. He hadn't known. "I should get you something," he murmured. That was music to Teri's ear. She'd been thinking about this since the last time he'd been in their bar–before he became King of Ooo. Now she was going to finally ask for the thing that she most wanted in the world. Unfortunately, before she could frame the question, the mooks in front of the stage started shouting. The wood-nymph rushed off to serve them. Finn found himself nursing his drink alone once more.

Riley was on stage, strutting her stuff when Finn's keen senses picked up the newcomer approaching him from his left. He never stopped sipping at his drink as Alexia strode up to his table. She was dressed in a floor-length mantle that hid her body from his eyes, and she had the hood drawn up to shadow her face, but he got a glimpse as she stopped beside him. "Hey, Al," he greeted her. Alexia took a moment to look around her before deciding to sit down. She wasn't sure it fit the dignity of a king to be in such a low-brow establishment. At the same time, given Finn's _appetites_ , it sort of fit. He had fourteen paramours.

On his side, Finn found himself wondering why it was that she was here. He'd seen her once or twice since Suadela had gone into the great beyond, but she rarely spoke to him beyond business. She was grieving, and he did his best to respect that. "I wanted to speak to you," she said. Which was odd because it had been her representative in the council chambers earlier. He hadn't even known Alex was in town. She could have come to see him whenever she wanted. Seeing Teri coming back and deciding that this wasn't the right place to have a private conversation, the big man got up, telling the wood-nymph, "we're going to use one of your booths..." "Sure," the wood-nymph replied, as she topped off his glass. Turning to Alexia, Finn asked, "want anything?"

Which question came as something of a surprise to the little princess. She hadn't really thought this through. Not in the details. "What're you drinking," she replied? Turning to his friend, the big man said, "Berry-Blitzer." "Same, then," the Laurel Princess replied. "Two," announced the nymph, as she reached for a second glass.

When Teri had mixed up the second cocktail, the King of Ooo picked it up, turned, and headed towards the corner booth with Alexia walking in his footsteps. The patrons of the establishment studiously avoided looking at him. He still had the reputation. This was the man who faced down killer aliens, undead that could dissolve your body, and the Lich himself. Finn set the drinks down, and motioned for his old friend to have a seat. When she'd sat herself, he settled beside her, and, for quite a while, they simply sat, sipping at their drinks while the former Hug-Wolf paraded around on stage.

He was glad to see the girls were ok, but bothered that someone was hassling them. He was sad to hear that their dancers had all been forced to quit. The fact that TV was forced to live at home again was pretty bad news. At the same time, as King, he was keenly aware that he had far bigger fish to fry. He really should be at home. He should have spent the day _working_ instead of having a pity-party.

Alex said nothing as they polished off their first drinks and started on a second round. Taken with a notion, he said, "we don't have to talk here." "Do what you do here," she replied. He would have expected a girl to be angry or something, though, strangely enough, none of his wives seemed to be bothered about him coming down here. On Alexia's side, she thought the strange, _erotic_ dance of the woman on the stage might help with her quest. "So...," he said.

"Why are you down here," asked Alexia? It was out of the blue. Finn had never been a typical man. He'd done boorish things in the past, but he'd left that life behind when he met Simone. Now he was here? He wanted to dissemble. Instead, he answered her honestly, "needed to get away. Working out some stuff." Alexia frowned, and she wondered if he still felt the ugly feelings of _loss_ that she sometimes felt. _You could ask,_ she thought. Turning to him, she reached out and took the glass from his hand. "What ails you," she asked? "Tell me..." Frowning a little because he wasn't sure he wanted this generally known, the big man found himself thinking that it really didn't matter. He _had_ to tell little Susie he was her dad. He couldn't hide that from a child, no matter what Sheila thought.

"Lamprey Princess did something stupid," he rumbled. When Alexia frowned at him, he found himself telling her the whole story–the trip east, the bandits, and Sheila's stupidity. Frowning at her drink, Alexia rumbled, "I confess... I don't understand men..." Finn chuckled. He got that a lot. "She offers you... free love," said Alexia. "She tricked me," Finn retorted. "She got me high as a kite on Golden Honey, and stole from me. And in the end, she put me on the hook to look after a child that I wasn't expecting." "But she's taking care of it," Alexia responded. She turned to face him, her green eyes burning into his. "A woman can't take care of a child by herself, Alex," Finn replied.

His drinking companion spluttered, but Finn's voice was hard, as he said, "women aren't good with discipline. Sometimes they're so busy nurturing, they forget that a child needs to be pulled back sometimes. They forget that kids need to be taught to see the world for what it is before the world punches them in the guts. Kids don't get discipline, they turn out pretty messed up." Alexia flushed. _Her_ children had issues _before_ being kidnaped and murdered. It was a little sobering and embarrassing to realize that Suadela had been a flighty bumpkin waiting to be robbed. She hadn't gotten a second chance.

"But you'd take the child as your own, wouldn't you," she murmured? She was half-thinking of herself–of what _she_ wanted to ask. "I have to," he replied. "It's as important as being king." That thought... _shocked_ her. Her husband had been happy to be quits of her and their children. When faced with a choice of settling down to the business of raising a family, he'd found he was much happier hanging on the beach all day, surfing. It was mad to think it, but Finn the Human seemed more offended by the Lamprey Princess's irresponsibility than the act itself. It was a mad notion, but there it was.

The words came out of Laurel Princess's mouth unbidden. "What will you do," she asked? It was an absurd question, especially when she pretty well already knew the answer. What _would_ a man like this do when you told him he was a father. "I... have to do this," Finn sighed. "I have to figure out how to take care of Susie. Without sacrificing the kids I already have." That was enough. That was what made her finally speak her mind.

Softly, Alexia said, "I want you to sleep with me... to... _breed_ me." His eyes found hers. She was staring at where Riley was dry-humping the stripper-pole, broad hips wriggling around, and giant, sumptuous titties joggling with every move she made. A lot of guys were shooting off in their pants now. He'd done that once when he'd been getting no lovin' from Simone and E. Alexia would have gone into explanations of why she wanted this, but really he _knew_ why. It was the same reason Sheila did what she did. Betty had been right. This was sort of a curse for him. At the same time, having been forced to end Suadela's existence on Ooo–having forced Alex to let her go–he felt he _owed_ her. Having given Sheila a child in an ugly way, he couldn't exactly turn Alex down. "Ok," he said.

Rising, the big man put cash on the table. Taking Alex by the hand, he led her out of there. "Where you staying," he asked? Nodding, she said, "let's go there." She meant the hotel down the street. Finn nodded. He was game. He'd given this to Marcie and Bonnie without even knowing it. In the end, he'd been blessed with the kids he'd fathered. He loved them all dearly. On top of that, he felt like he'd _failed_ this woman, even if he hadn't known her kids had been taken. In spite of past conflicts, he still thought of Alexia as a good friend. _So why not,_ he thought?

Those were all the thoughts that went through his mind as he led his old friend/flame down the street to the run-down hotel there. A little cash got them a key, and Finn led his lover for the night and future mother of his child to their rented room. On her side, Alexia had been a little surprised that it had been so easy to get him to agree. She'd let herself go when she got married and had kids. More to the point, he had a selection of beautiful women sharing his bed, several of them being immortal wizards. Why would he want her? But here they were.

Finn moved to the bed, shedding weapons and equipment she hadn't even realized that he had. Startled, the proud princess stared as he emptied hidden pockets of their contents, showing that Finn had little need of bodyguards still. When he'd taken off the weight of his weapons and equipment, he turned and sat down on the bed, facing her. It was time. She had to decide if she really wanted to go through with this. Was she really ready for this?

Striding forward, the still-pretty princess shrugged off her mantle, revealing her newly-slim body encased in embroidered black stockings under a lacy black garter and transparent black lace panties. A lacy-black push-up bra completed the look, shoving her perky little titties up and out and even exposing the hard little blue-back nipples to his greedy gaze. It had been _months_ since he'd seen her last, and she honestly, looked amazing. Gone was the little paunch she'd developed from birthing two kids. She was svelt, with trim legs, and perky little knobs.

When she was in front of him, she leaned in and kissed him. The pair swapped spit, tasting each other and the berry-flavored liquor they'd consumed earlier while the big man caressed her curves, stroking her flanks, while his fingertips teased at the lace of her garterbelt. Slowly he worked his way up, while they continued to kiss. Her hands reached out and stroked the hard muscle of his chest. He was still an imposing man, even in his early forties.

"Hhhh," gasped Alexia, as she felt his hands on her pert little knockers. His hands glided over her knobs, palm-down, raising gooseflesh and causing the tips to harden and jut out. Moaning softly, into his mouth, Alexia began to unbutton his shirt, getting skin-on-skin with his hard body, as he squeezed and caressed her perky booby. Breaking that kiss, he bent down, and slurped the hard tip of her left titty into his mouth, giving it a hard suck. "Unnn," moaned Alexia, her hips gyrating in heat at the feel of that.

Sliding his hands down the back of her silky panties, the big man grabbed her round little ass, squeezing the hard muscle. She'd been exercising for months to lose the weight and firm her body back up. Now it paid off as Finn began to get rather turned on. Drawing his lips back to hers, Alex climbed into his lap, straddling his thighs. Soft sighs left her lips as they continued to kiss and caress each other. She unfastened his shirt the rest of the way and began pulling it off. As she struggled with that, the big man slipped his hand down the front of her skimpy panties before sliding a pair of thick fingers up her hot snatch.

She'd been a little creamy when they left the bar. The sight of women showing off their bodies for random strangers–and listening to Finn talk about fucking Sheila the Lamprey Princess and pumping her belly up–had gotten Alex hot. Now, as he frigged her hot little pussy, she rewarded his efforts by squealing into his mouth in lust as her pussy squirted hot fuck-oil all over his hand. To Alex's shock, far from being disgusted, Finn slurped her sex-slime off his fingers.

Reaching down between them, he unfastened his pants and slid them off, freeing his massive pecker. It was just as fucking big as all those bitches had said. He was hung like a horse! As she stared, Finn was sliding those slimy panties off her hips and down to her ankles. Alex moved instinctively to help him because her mind was focused on screwing.

The big man drew her to him once more, and Alex immediately caught that huge pecker and aimed the fat, purple tip at her opening. The Laurel Princess moaned softly as she slid her hot oven down his long, fat shaft. Finn found himself biting his lip at the feel of that as Alex slowly but surely forced her hungry snatch onto his meat. It was a little crazy to think about it, after the thing with Sheila, but Alexia had been one more of the 'girls he'd wanted to do' back in his youth.

As the pretty princess screwed herself silly, riding up and down that big pole, Finn toyed with her perky knockers, teasing them with his hands and occasionally leaning in towards her to have a taste. Indeed, his hands seemed to be _everywhere_ to Alexia. "Oooah," she howled. It was just like she she'd heard!

That hard little butt of hers was moving like a blur, her hot oven driving him crazy. It was better this time. In spite–or _because_ –of the Golden Honey, he honestly couldn't have told you a thing about screwing Sheila. He barely remembered it, and he really only remembered the painful scratches she'd left him with. She'd swore up and down she was sorry, but he hardly believed it. Girls liked to do that to him. Tonight, he wasn't drugged out of his mind, and he was enjoying this. No hang-ups. No accidents. Alex _wanted_ a baby. It was a lot like Dr. P. He'd answered the call when Drew needed him, and now he was doing the same.

The big man wrapped those powerful hands around Alexia's waist and began riding her up and down his pecker like she was a toy. She was his very-own fuck-doll! The thought of that sent her flying off into the strongest orgasm of the night. Her body went rigid, her breathing went ragged, and she was screaming in a weird, high-pitched tone. With a groan of sweet release, Finn shot off.

Laying back, he pulled the little woman to him–another pleasant change from that ugly night with Sheila. Usually he was able to avoid being a jerk and going right off to sleep. Snuggling in against him, Alex sighed, "don't complicate things, Finn. You so happen to be the most eligible man on Ooo, even if you gave up bachelorhood. There are far worse things for a child than having you for a father and far worse choices a woman could make than asking for your seed." Chuckling, she added, "I'm not here to try and take you away from them... I just want what I want, and I don't think Sheila has anything worse on offer either." Grinning, she said, "I don't think we're likely to be the last, either. Word's been getting around, but if you don't want more kids, I'd suggest you bring your own condoms."

 **Thanks for the help, Bill... And Susie makes... 24**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

There was a pile of long faces waiting on Finn when he arrived home. He'd expected that. He'd sent Sarah a text in the middle of the night after Alexia got up and went to the toilet, so there was that. At the same time, he had been irresponsible. He'd been gone all day while rumors swirled and unpleasant things got said. He hadn't hung around to talk things through with his family. Walking into the family dining room, he announced, "I'm sorry. I didn't call. I have no excuse."

Moving to the end of the table, he said, "I've decided to publicly acknowledge my child with Lamprey Princess. That needs to be done. Lollipop, please work with Breakfast to craft a statement and release it to the public. Thor will hire a food-taster and a full-time bodyguard..." Billy flushed. That was kind of his fault. He'd thought it was funny to leave his dad holding the bag dealing with one of his old girlfriends. The whole 'get him sloppy-drunk' thing had been a hoot. Until they saw the consequences.

Finn was still speaking. "I learned last night that the Banana-Guard has now become corrupted by newcomers," he said. "An investigation will be undertaken into shakedowns committed by members of the guard." That news floored Bonnie and her son. "It won't be candy people," sighed Star. "It's... It'll be some of the dudes I took in." She'd needed the help. Nodding, the King said, "it needs to get fixed. The bad apples need to find themselves in jail."

Finn had a string of pronouncements like that to make. The most shocking of all was the news that he'd agreed to father Laurel Princess's child. In the burble of conversation that followed that, Billy missed the final pronouncement. "Actually," said Drew, "far from 'no more pity parties', I'm recommending that you have some counseling. Honey, you're bleeding inside. You need rest, or you're going to snap." "Recommendation," Finn sighed. "Usually that means a beating if I don't agree..." Drew flushed, but she didn't disagree, and all concerned knew she was capable of that.

One by one, the Royal Moms–the ones physically there–came up and hugged their husband. There were things that needed saying, but most of them could wait. In the end, Finn had mostly come to the same conclusions they had. When that got done, Bonnie stepped forward and said, "we concluded that Sheila shouldn't be punished. We're prepared to forgive her transgression. This time." Finn, who was clearly still angry, sighed and said, "alright." Shaking himself, he said, "I'm'a go work a deal over Susie. Then I'll take a shower. I'll come back to work after..." "No," said Bonnie. "As your First Minister, I'm _ordering_ you to take your doctor's advice. Get some rest."

Finn headed out, leaving his wives in charge. Billy rushed out after him. Something needed to get said. He caught the big man as he was just reaching the stairs. "Dad," Bill called. Finn stopped where he was and turned to face his eldest. Taking a deep breath, the younger man said, "dad, I'm sorry. You needed me there, and I bounced on you. I feel like this wouldn't have happened..." Finn's angry expression softened, and he hugged his boy. "How's Adaeze and her mom," he asked? "They're great, dad," Bill replied. "Good, son," he said, as he turned to go. Grinning a little, Billy asked, "sooo... how was it?" Finn flushed to his hair at that bold question. "Cold fish-taco," muttered Finn as he climbed the stairs. He left his son sputtering and laughing all at once. It was a side of his dad that he'd never seen. Finn never had anything bad to say about a woman.

For his part, Finn was still spitting mad and fighting rage when he reached the Penitent Suite. He'd put the Duke of Nuts in here after he got out of pocket and raided Bonnie's kitchen. Again. Now, he'd had to punish all of Peanut Kingdom. There was a difference there. One act was born out of Bonnie's rage at the Duke. The other had been about protecting the weak and punishing someone who clearly meant harm. Reflecting on that, he remembered something his adopted dad had said. Retribution should never be sourced from anger. That made you no better than the person who wronged you. Calming himself, he ordered the guards to unlock the door and go.

Inside, he found Lamprey Princess sitting at the suite's lone table, still wearing the same clothes from the previous day and looking like she'd spent the night crying. Almost as soon as she saw him, Sheila turned on the water. Softly, he said, "you were irresponsible. You hurt me..." Flushing, the stacked princess flinched at those words. Finn's face softened, but he made no move to offer anything like a reconciliation. The ball was clearly in her court.

Sadly, Sheila admitted, "I guess I didn't think about the consequences, Finn... I guess I thought I was doing you a favor... that you'd not mind being a dad if I took care of it myself..." Brown eyes bleak, she said, "so what now?" "We share this burden," Finn replied. "A kid needs both parents. We do it six months off and six on..." Rising, she came and embraced him. Laying her head on his shoulder, she said, "ok. We can make this work. School with me or you?" "With me," he replied. Stepping back, he said, "you're free to go, Sheila. I need to go cool off. That's going to take a while." With no further word, he left her there.

Far to the east, a most unlikely figure came striding into a half-empty inn in a sleepy town in the ugly badlands west of Truth Kingdom. She was the very definition of petite, being barely five feet tall. Her waxy yellow skin and yellow hair marked her as being a stranger. Flashes of fine silk under her clothing marked her as being well-to-do. Her brown eyes seemed to sneer at the world around her in contempt.

Striding up to the counter, she uttered a secret phrase in soft tones. The keeper immediately directed her to a small room behind his kitchen. Still wearing that unpleasant sneer, the little woman went her way, leaving a relieved innkeeper cleaning his counter while he tried to shake his fear. Inside, she found her _partner_ waiting. The ogress was putting on airs again. She looked simply absurd in a formal kimono as if she was a gentlewoman. The evil little creature looked down her nose at her partner. The ogress paid that no heed.

Snapping her fingers, she summoned the inn's staff. As the servers laid out lunch, the evil little wax-creature stared. The ogress behaved as if she cared not at all if her partner ate or not. She dug in and began to eat heartily. Finally the newcomer stepped forward and took a place at the table. "You've been gone awhile," the ogress opined. Scowling, the stranger retorted, "and you failed to get the Black Scrawl Virus..."

With a shrug, the ogress reminded her, "I did tell you it was a risky game. That old bitch won't roll over." The wax-woman announced, "I'm hearing rumors that he's consolidating power." With a shrug, the ogress replied, "he is. That's what men like him do. He hardly has a choice." Stabbing the meat on her plate, the nasty customer snarled, "I want him _dead_! Dead, do you hear!" Calm in the face of that murderous rage, the ogress replied, "when we have power, we can do what we want... Let's stay focused. Or do you want to go off the rails like the Thief King did?" By now nearly _everyone_ knew of how the Thief King had lost her marbles dealing with the Finn-crew. The wax-woman glared at the ogress, but she did subside.

The ogress had bad news to share. Their enemy had secured the core of his domain. He had a nearly continuous barrier from north to south. His southern flank was guarded by his batshit-crazy bimbo, Warrior Princess. He was a tough nut to crack. Which was why the wax-woman wanted the virus and the other weapons of destruction. Smiling more than faintly, the ogress declared, "while you've been... _traveling_ , I've been making moves. I've got the future heir to Emerald Kingdom in my pocket." Her pretty guest gasped. They now had _money_.

Nodding, the ogress said, "that's not all. I've been working on getting into Jungle Kingdom's treasure bunker. Now, if you get me those books like I asked, our pet scholar can teach us how to build mushroom bombs." The wax-woman put on a pout. She was supposed to find the needed knowledge in the far west. Instead, she'd been having a fit of melancholy. Her brother's birthday was one week away, and that always hit her hard. She found herself day-dreaming of setting off a mushroom bomb in the capitol of the Candy Kingdom. So many to kill.

"Ooo to Chelsea," announced the ogress. The wax-woman shook off her daze, growling, "I told you _no names_!" The little shit was paranoid about having her name associated with the Eastern Syndicates. With the Mafia Princess consolidating her power over all of Ooo's underworld, with the clear sanction of the other Royals, it was dangerous to have your name associated with the gangs. Leaning forward, the ogress said, "you spend too much time on what you can't change, _Chelsea_. I need you to focus. The death-metal in Jungle Princess's bunker is only half as useful without the blueprints for a bomb and an airship to carry it. Get me those blueprints, Chelse."

Late that same day, Finn came out of Bonnie's palace, striding down the stairs in a bit of a fog. Drew had been as good as her word. She'd made him sit still for an embarrassingly _thorough_ physical. She even had Simone give his strange artificial _arm_ a look. He got kicked out of his office. Breakfast locked the door and wouldn't let him in. Now, he was headed for his first 'counseling' session with Dr. Brulee. As he headed down the stairs, Drew's voice arrested him. Turning to face his wife, the big man did his best to force the anger off his face. She was doing this for his own good. It didn't feel that way, but then he was pretty bad at taking care of himself. That wasn't what a man did. He'd told Fi the truth about that.

Drew had Hurletta at her side. Finn flushed. He'd told Hurletta that he would help her get counseling. He'd never figured he'd find himself going too. As the pair drew even with him, the pretty doctor said, "since you're going to be having counseling, I thought you could take 'Letta here with you, Finn. You won't exactly be _sharing_ a doctor, but it doesn't hurt to have someone to go with." Finn nodded. He knew Hurletta needed this. She probably needed it more than he did. "C'mon, 'Letta," he murmured. "Go along to get along."

He might have turned away. He was angry about this. But Drew was his lady, and she'd always been there quietly taking care of him almost since the first he'd come to the Candy Kingdom. Turning back to face her, the big man took her face in his hands and gave her a scorcher of a kiss. Unaccountably, the tall woman flushed to her hair before bursting into tears and fleeing back up the stairs. As Finn stared, Hurletta said, "I thought you knocked them dead, not chased them away in tears." Blushing himself, he turned and offered her his arm. It was time to go get this done.

Upstairs, Betty Mertens stood at the window, watching as her husband went down and got in the car. As the limo rolled away, Betty turned to her daughter, who had her nose stuck in a book. "Well some good came of Sheila being a shit," she said. Finn was getting treated. Finally. Simone nodded, absently. She was often distracted these days, and Betty sometimes worried about her 'condition'. The Ice Crown didn't have the power it held before, but Betty still worried. Right now, though, she was curious about what Simone was reading.

Slipping the book out of the younger woman's hands, the nosy mom asked, "what is it?" With a shrug, Simone replied, "a book on toxins." Frowning, Betty asked, "why are you reading this?" "Trying to cure Maja," Simone replied. Betty's mouth came open in shock. She knew _Finn_ wanted that. He and Fionna were both fixated on keeping 'the promise'. The pair of them were creature's of their word. It didn't make sense that anyone else wanted that.

Calmly, Simone told her, "we're in the big-leagues, mom. This isn't what I wanted, but it's reality. I had to learn to accept that a long time ago." Betty flushed. Far from being flighty, Simone Mertens was a very earthy woman–like the man who had fashioned her out of a dream. Coolly, she lay out some hard realities regarding their shared life. "We're the Royal Family, mom," she said. "We're a big, fat target. Someone's bound to realize that fighting dozens of guards is too hard. Then they'll switch to poison. If it's not poison, it's likely to be magic. Maja is one of the oldest and most dangerous witches on Ooo. She knows things I may not know."

It was a _risk_ bringing Maja back. It was a terrible risk. At the same time, Finn had a rapport with Maja. They had a mutual respect and a strange affection. He couldn't _compel_ Maja, but he could likely persuade her to answer a few questions. Simone could sweeten the deal with access to the Grand Master's library. More to the point, Maja was a de-facto member of the Royal Family. She now had a dog in the fight too. There were people in the world who would harm her because she was mother of one of the Finn-kids. She needed allies too.

Betty blew out a breath. It was nothing like she would have done. At the same time, it was a remarkably nuanced and _mature_ view. "Ok," she said. "We try and find a cure. Do we keep Cherry in the dark?" Simone snorted in derision, "who do you think suggested I look?" Cherry saw it as one more gun against a world going slowly mad. Freed of her rage by Breezy's song, the Mafia Princess was devoted to their family. Betty chuckled. Yeah, it was hard breaking old habits. She was accustomed to hiding things from people 'for their own good'. It was past time to change. "Ok," said Betty. "Let's do this. What else have you got? Where haven't we looked?" With a smile, Simone slid a list across the table.

As mother and daughter batted about ideas to cure their resident madwoman of whatever was afflicting her, a friend an ally was dealing with an affliction of her own. In the heart of Bee Kingdom, the Queen Bee had just returned to the quarters she shared with her husband of more than twenty years with Barton in tow. They had spent the evening negotiating the marriage of their oldest daughter, Aerwin, and the Queen Bee was looking forward to crawling into bed for some much-deserved rest. The negotiations had been _sticky_ , with Aerwin's would-be in-laws driving a very hard bargain. They saw that the Queen had _money_ and influence now, and they wanted some of that for themselves. And Barton? He'd been prickly all evening.

Barton had been something of a shit for weeks now. Really, he'd been a shit since she'd come back from the final campaign against the undead. Did she look far enough back, she thought he might have well been a jerk for longer. She'd been a little too busy to notice, and that was a lot of the problem. She'd thrown herself into the business of protecting her kingdom and then protecting Ooo from destruction. She been gone from home for _months_ , and she imagined that had taken something of a toll on their relationship.

As Barton hung his jacket, Breezy found herself looking him over. Tall and lean, like every other bee-person, Bart wasn't built like a wall the way Finn was. Certainly, he didn't have a _giant dick_ like Finn. At the same time, they'd made this work for twenty years. That counted for something. Making a decision, the Queen crossed the room to her husband's side and tried to slip her arms around him. She hadn't given him any in well over a month now.

The Consort stepped back out of her reach, his face contorted in rage. "What," he asked? "You think I want what you gave to that barbarian?" Breezy's mouth hung in shock. What was he saying?! "Keep it, Breezy," growled Barton. "You can keep fucking that lump for all I care." "I don't know what you're talking about," she retorted. She was in a state of shock at hearing that awful suggestion. It helped not at all that she'd thought it so many times. If Finn wasn't such a gentleman, she'd have fucked him six ways to Sunday and committed every sin there was.

At the same time, she _hadn't_ done anything with Finn. They'd been on the up-and-up, and she told her husband, "I've been protecting my people's interests!" "Like you did when you personally flew that fucker into Breakfast Kingdom," Barton demanded?! "Like you were when you flew all the way to Frozen Yogurt Kingdom for him?!" This was going south fast, and she wasn't sure how to get out of this mess. "So what do you want me to do, Barton," she asked? "I've had no further contact with Finn since the war ended. I turned down his request to join his cabinet. I can't do anything more than that to prove my loyalty." "But you don't _have_ any loyalty, Breezy," retorted the Consort. "You're just going through the motions. You don't _love_ me. You don't really love our family..."

That was the limit. "Get out," snapped the Queen. "If that's what you think, you can get out." Barton chuckled, "what? Have you forgotten the cost of divorce?" "Oh, no, Bart," she retorted. "I haven't forgotten at all, but I'm tired of you holding it over my head. We're dissolved, Barton. You can go fuck yourself. Get out of my home. You have until the end of the week." Giving her a mocking little bow, the former Consort took his coat, spun on his heel, and stalked out. The Queen went and threw herself on the bed and cried.

The Consort went out to the landing platform, and, after a glance around him, vaulted into the sky. The guards, having heard one more nasty altercation in the string of them, knew better than to follow. He'd circle back in a couple of days. Breezy had never had the guts to actually go through with dumping him. As many times as they'd fought–as often as she'd thrown Barton out–she'd always relented. It was tradition. She was supposed to find a mate, settle down, and make babies. She was supposed to be faithful until death. No matter how tempted she got, the stupid bitch would never take that last step. She was terrified of what the kingdom's leading families would do.

It was funny, in its way. She'd spent a while hiding out, using magic to appear as a mere creature of the field instead of as a Bee-Person. She'd ducked her responsibilities as crown-princess out of a desire not to grow up and live as an adult. The First Families had taken that behavior not well at all, and they'd lowered the boom on the Queen Bee when she finally dragged her ass home. Breezy lived in a state of terror at what they would do if they even _thought_ she was getting out of pocket again. Thanks to her fears, Barton would be able to live here in the palace until one of them was dead.

He took his time. Breezy wasn't expecting him back tonight, after all. Slipping in and out amongst the lower branches of the trees, he did his best to lose himself. He didn't really want to be the one who got _caught_ after all. Breezy would love for him to be caught doing something that would give her the excuse to dump him! The rogue circled his destination twice just to be sure. Only when he was sure there was no-one following him did he finally move in to land.

His destination was a seedy part of the forest–a place where he could indulge all his base hungers with no worries. He had long ago given up on Breezy. He'd gone through the motions with her, ultimately making five kids total, but his heart hadn't been in it for years. She was middle-aged! She was middle-aged with saggy knockers and smile-wrinkles! There was plenty of young-stuff to be had around the forest.

The little tribe of wood-nymphs lived here on Barton's authority. The guard had been told never to harass them. Indeed, Bart wasn't the only leading-light of the kingdom to visit the place. There was only one other 'gentleman' present when he entered, but there was a handful of drones, looking like they'd just gotten done in the poppy-fields, harvesting nectar to turn into honey. He sometimes wondered where such men found the energy. They worked from sunup until sundown and sometimes even found themselves dodging predators too. It scarcely seemed possible that they had the energy for such _basic_ instincts, but here they were, looking thin and hungry, blowing their meager pay on pussy.

Barton, well-known as he was at the establishment, crowded the line, earning a quick trip past the plebeians and straight into the back. There he found himself waiting in one of the private rooms for his hosts to bring in the selections. He was looking to try something really young tonight. His would-be in-laws had a pretty little daughter, and he'd been eyeing her the whole evening as he thought about how it would be to plug her. Of course, that wasn't _done_ among the upper classes. You didn't go slipping the old stinger to a fellow noble's kid. That was the joy of this place. The nymphs somehow managed to find him whatever he wanted.

As he flicked through old messages on his phone, the door opened. He was only halfway paying attention as the madam came in with a pair of menacing figures. It was only when they were halfway across the room that the rogue looked up. With a frown, the Consort demanded, "what is this? Who are these people?" "Visitors," announced Shawna. "Friends of my sister..." Gemma had been gone for months. Barton had all but forgotten her. Shawna had continued to supply him with his ugly vice, and, to him, nymphs were nobodies. Now he feared he should have paid more attention to the wench's activities!

"You're a disgusting child-molester," rumbled the tall female. The horns and chalky skin marked her as an ogre–from the far east. He might have considered her body beautiful if not for the danger he was in. Gesturing with a twisted finger, she said, "I can have you _ruined_. I can let the Queen know about your disgusting _habits_. I'm sure she'd have all sorts of questions. Questions about whether or not you molested your own..." Barton shot to his feet. The other menacing figure growled, "sit down! Sit down before I _pluck_ you!" The Bee-Person sat down in a rush, terror naked on his face.

"You're not stupid, Consort Barton," purred the ogress. "I know you're not stupid enough to fuck around in the palace. I've watched you for weeks..." Bart flushed. "Work with me," she said. "You want the one thing you can't get... You want the Queen ruined or gone... You want her deposed or dead and your daughter on the throne. I can help you get that. I just need a little information. Rumor says that the Queen Bee gifted Finn the Human with a spell... a magic spell that keeps the Quicksilver Curse at bay. I need to know the truth. I need to know how to break it. Help me... scratch _my_ back... I'll scratch yours. You'll be comfortable in your daughter's palace with access to all the teenage poon you want. Deal?"

 **Yeah, letting the little head think for the big one is a recipe for trouble.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

"They kinda' cast a pall over things," Jake opined. Finn flushed. He'd been mortally embarrassed to have Reggie take a swipe out of the fish that Finn himself had cooked! Bananas! They had been the bane of his existence for three decades now. Finn had been certain that all Bonnie's peeps had gotten fed Fionna's special mood-improvement crystals, but Reggie was still a loon. His bodyguard was a fair bit better. Ingrid had picked him out. While he wasn't a mountain of meat like Thor, he was competent in a fight and fearless enough to go toe-to-toe against the Dipped. Unfortunately, both hanging out here together did sort of drag down the mood of what was supposed to be a bit of a vacation. Having the pair travel along in their own boat had helped, but Finn was kind of thinking the cure for his ills was worse than the disease.

Of course Jake brought his own baggage. His new girlfriend had come along, which wouldn't have bothered Finn. Trouble was TV had invited himself along, and he and Samantha mixed as well as oil and water. Finn understood it. Jake had walked out on TV's mom. Now he was with somebody Lady flatly hated. And Finn? He was caught in the middle, trying to keep father and son from being at each other's throats. The only blessing? Pearl was going back to work. With the rogue Banana Guard locked up, Riley's club was doing better. That would see TV move back into his own place and maybe stop Lady from crying about Jake every chance she got.

Crude as always, Jake cut a foul-smelling fart like he was still eighteen, prompting Finn to roll his eyes. "Don't know why you keep doin' this anyway, man," Jake opined. "'Cept the obvious..." Frowning, Finn asked, "what does that mean?" Jake snorted, "PB's got you wrapped around her finger. Plus she's letting you bone Flame Princess..." Finn laughed at him. Shaking his head, he laughed and laughed. Some things _never_ changed.

"Actually, I do it so my bro can be retired and still chasing ass, Jake," Finn chuckled. "If I really wanted ass so much, there's plenty to get. Didn't really want what I have to be honest." He'd been happy as a clam with just he and Simone. He'd long ago accepted that Emeraude came as the price for saving Simone's sanity, but he still looked back fondly on the days where his life was simple. That said nothing at all about the current circumstance where he'd messed things up out of anger at the pair. He loved his new kids, but he wouldn't have chosen to bring them into the world this way.

Sadly, the big man told his brother, "I'm not going to be able to retire, Jake. I had to just accept that's how it's going to be..." The stretchy dog was staring at him now. With a shrug, Finn finished baiting his hook and dropped it in the water. "That's the road I found myself on when I followed my dad's dudes to finish things," Finn said. "I didn't know it, but I _became_ the Peace of Ooo. I guarantee that you and TV can snuggle up with your girls and sleep soundly at night. I'd rather have been home with Simone, but Martin and his dudes weren't going to let that happen." Jake had little to say to that other than, "let's just fish..."

Back at the palace, Bonnie frowned in unhappiness at what Finn had left for her. She didn't want to be bothered with his castle project, and she was terribly worried about his new direction for the Army of Ooo. Of course, if _she_ was unhappy, Nadia was angry. The tall princess was spitting mad, and only the fact that Drew had threatened to slap her kept her from jumping up and going out to find Finn and punch him. Strangely enough, Betty was the calming influence, talking them down from the ledge of anger.

"He's right, girls," said the curvy brunette. Sitting down with her tea, she said, "in my day, armies didn't fight alone. There were navies to patrol the oceans and air-wings to patrol the skies. If you didn't have fighting aircraft, your army could be decimated without even a hope of replying." Which Bonnie well knew. She'd studied every tract on history she could get. A morose Phoebe rumbled, "but he has me... that is... I lead a kingdom full of elementals." "But do you really want to throw their lives away on a war," Cherry rumbled? Like Finn, she had a way of cutting straight through the bullshit.

Staring into her tea, the gangster said, "I don't like war. War cost me my husband, Phoebe. It almost cost me my second husband twice over. I'd... I'd rather let a pile of machines fight the battles than see more lives go down the drain over some asshole's greed." Bonnie flinched at every word she uttered. Rootbeer had been fighting _her_ war. He'd been defending _her_ kingdom. "The council will shit themselves," muttered Ragnhild. "Let them," growled Hurletta. "My fucking sister managed to kill thousands of my people fighting Wildberry's stupid war. Cherry's right. If we've voted to give a man the power to build an army, then let him get the job done. I'd trust Finn over most anybody on the council, present company included."

It stung, but nobody fired back, mostly because they knew she was right. Hadn't they _all_ been at each other's throats? Hadn't they all done shady and questionable things? At the end of the day, they were _princesses_. They were all too self-absorbed and far more interested in their comforts than anything else.

Nadia got up. "I can't do this," she muttered. "Then _don't_ ," interrupted Cherry. Nadia stopped right where she was. "Do you think I enjoy what I do," muttered the crime-boss? Nadia flinched. "Cherry," Bonnie burbled. "She has commitments..." "I _know_ what Talia is capable of, Bonnie," Cherry retorted. "I saw it myself. We _all_ saw it. Do you think a woman who fought to keep aliens from wrecking the world will stand by and let them try it a third time and get away with it?" She was calling Nadia out, and everyone there knew it. The fierce Baba Yaga was comfortable enough with Finn that it was hardly likely she'd balk too much if he pressed the case for weapons. They were dealing with Nadia's pacifism.

"I never liked guns," rumbled Cherry. "I still don't. I'm a woman. That's been my handicap and my place in life. If I'd my druthers, I'd walk away from what I do, but this is my fate. I understand if the Grid-Face Princess chooses not to share in that world. That's her choice, but let us not pretend as if we have a choice about going forward with this. We need these weapons, lest our army be destroyed from above by ruthless creatures who'd gladly smash our world for filthy coins." Taking a deep breath and letting it go, Nadia said, "I won't stand in the way, but I can't help you. Let it be done without me." Striding across the room, she snatched her son out of the basket there and stormed out.

"We need someone with the knowledge she has," sighed Betty. "Sarah's still wrangling our food problem, and Bonnie's going to be far too busy with the council." Building the original robot army had eaten piles of Bonnie and Phoebe's time, and they were looking at expanding the numbers of war-robots to cover the entire planet plus building airborne counterparts to support them. And Finn still planned to hold his little demonstration in a few weeks. Ragnhild burbled, "wait a minute. How does he plan to do the demonstration? We don't have the flying machines yet." "Breezy," Betty replied. "Her troops will be stand-ins."

With a sigh, Bonnie admitted, "my science academy's mostly been a failure. Things got better after Fionna's... fix. But... I don't think I can give this to them." "Shoko," said Cherry. Betty and Raghnild were quick to agree. When Bonnie might have protested, Hurletta reminded her, "your daughter's not a _child_ , Bonnibel. I think it's fair to say we all need to grow. If you're busy with the politics, somebody will have to pick up the slack..." The matter got decided just like that. Unless she had a moral objection, Shoko would be designing flying weapons. Ragnhild moved the discussion onwards. They were making progress. There were just a few of the problems Finn had left them remaining to be dealt with. It was shocking to realize just how much Finn had been carrying, and the Froyo Princess thought they hardly understood his grand plan. There were layers to his scheme, and clearly even Bonnie was having trouble understanding the depths of his planning.

Phoebe reminded them, "we still need to deal with Connie. The unaffiliated will be tromping through her kingdom soon. If any try to bring an army, it'll be war." Bonnie sighed in irritation. She didn't want to have this meeting. If it wasn't the idea of using coercion, it was the idea of dealing with the robber barons of the unaffiliated domains. They had always been trouble. Finn was playing with fire, and Bonnie would gladly have canceled the whole thing. As she was pondering just how unpleasant the response to that would be, Cherry announced, "I'll take care of it..."

Bonnie frowned at her. "I would rather not call that marker in, Cherry," she declared. She'd known Marceline pretty much all her life, and there were moments where her girlfriend/sister couldn't be bothered to lift a finger to help her. They didn't have that bond of familiarity with Marshall Lee. This was likely the only leverage they had on the Vampire King at all.

Hearing Bonnie articulate those thoughts, Cherry put her teacup on the saucer and said, "there's no marker, Bonnie. I owed Marshall because I had wronged him. The debt was mine, and now it's paid. Now I'm going to go have a pleasant conversation with Connie and settle on an approach to passing those men through her Kingdom without causing an incident." Smiling, the crime-lord said, "I've got this, Bonnie. You worry about getting those weapons designed and built." The First Minister was shocked at how quickly Cherry's motion carried the day. She was simply outvoted. The unhappy princess delegated to Lollipop the job of putting together a travel plan for her to go and see her daughter. Then the group broke up for the day.

As his ladies headed out to go get things done, Finn and Jake enjoyed the quiet of the river as they pulled up fish to fry up later. At least _Finn_ pulled up fish. Jake was mostly involved in pounding bark beer. It was a habit TV had picked up. He'd still been snoozing in front of his tent when Finn had dragged his brother off to the boats. Finn felt a little bit of jealousy as he watched Jake pop the top on another can. "Whyn't you havin' any," asked Jake? The big man sighed heavily. He'd sworn off drinking. He just didn't have the time to sit his ass on the couch in front of BMO and pound beer until he was hammered. Free time was a luxury, and even the little he got often got spent exercising. He wasn't young anymore.

"You're on vacation, Finn," Jake advised. "Forget them kids. Forget their mommas..." He shoved a beer under Finn's nose. With a heavy sigh, Finn took that can. Waving his arms expansively, the drunken dog opined, "can't life your live f'er them, man. I did what I could for my five, n'I still do..." Finn flushed. He didn't dare correct Jake on that score. Jake didn't have five anymore, and Finn halfway felt like Jr. might have turned out better if Jake had been more involved. Finn let it go. That was water under the bridge. Thunking his beer against Jake's, the King of Ooo said, "to dads... The guys who do it all and get no thanks in the end." Jake chuckled. Finn was getting plenty of thanks by his way of thinking. If he'd just been smart enough to wrap it up, he wouldn't have so much trouble.

Frowning, Finn asked, "what does that mean?" "You treat it like you're gettin' gold, man," Jake replied. "That's why you're always getting trapped with kids!" Finn goggled at him. He hadn't really asked for all this, but he _loved_ his kids, even Susie. Of course that just made Jake laugh harder. "Yeah, buddy," said he. "Sam tried that shit on me, but I double-bag it, man. She ain't ever gettin' my stash. Got my retirement all locked up." Finn goggled at him. Chuckling, Jake said, "gotta' bag that thing up, Finn. Girls want money, man! They get with whoever's got it! They'll trick you to get it! Then you gotta' pay 'em!" It was a strange way of thinking. Finn loved his ladies. Hell, he loved Sheila, even if he wanted to belt her. He couldn't imagine just climbing in bed with somebody he didn't care about. It was a hangup he had, but there it was.

Naturally Jake didn't see it that way. He had a hundred different ways for Finn to get girls to 'give it up' without giving them anything in return. Finn did his best to ignore the worst things he said. Towards the end of the day, Finn paddled his drunken brother back to shore. While his bodyguard and food-taster got the boats tied up, Finn carried Jake to his tent and lay him down. Samantha, who'd spent the day sunning herself in a sexy string bikini, was fit to be tied. As Jake sat there singing off key, Finn got dinner cooked up, though he spent a little while chasing Reggie away from the meal as his food-taster wanted to taste literally _everything_. TV did nothing at all to help with the cooking, as he had his nose buried in a video-game on his phone. He did manage to help down the last few beers before joining his dad in caterwauling. In the end, Finn kicked his bodyguard to the curb and slipped off to sit alone in a nearby hotspring while he thought about the crazy ways his life turned.

Soaking in the pool, the big man thought of how he'd come to this spot. While he couldn't say every decision he'd made was a good one, he thought they were all made in good faith. Even his decision to eat dinner with Sheila had been based around the idea of playing nice with someone who could cause him lots and lots of trouble. Jake, meanwhile, had gleefully screwed a host of girls over the course of his life. A different girl every year, while Finn had ended up with a pack of them in just one. And which of them was right? He didn't know.

"May I join you," announced Pearl? Finn glanced up to find TV's wife standing there in a towel. Of his nephew there was no sign. Uneasily, Finn realized that TV had been pretty drunk himself when Finn left the camp. "Sure," he said. The tall warrior-girl barely waited for the word to leave his mouth before she dropped that towel.

It wasn't the first time he'd seen Pearl bare-assed. He'd watched her strip for her then-boyfriend at his bachelor party. As many times as Finn had been in Riley's club, he'd seen TV's wife dancing in the altogether a few dozen times. Of course, he'd been sitting in the audience fully dressed, if horny, and he'd even been a little drunk a few of those times. He was neither drunk nor dressed, and he knew very well that this was wrong with a capitol R.

The pretty warriorette's blue eyes smoldered as she stood there staring at him. She seemed almost to be showing off that beautiful body. Built like Drew but with many fewer miles on the chassis, Pearl was a delight for his old-dude's eyes. After a few days of going to bed alone, he was having a little trouble thinking straight. Seeming to decide what she wanted to do here, the tall blonde stepped down into the pool. That helped some. He wasn't confronted with those giant knobs and sexy broad hips. Silence reigned with Finn doing his best not to look at TV's lady, while Pearl stared straight at him.

"Why didn't you ever ask for a lap-dance," she asked? Finn's face went red-hot, but he fired back readily. "You're TV's lady," Finn replied. "It's not right to do that. Even if I _wasn't_ married." Touching girls was kind of off-limits. Pearl snorted, "you're fucking around with fourteen women. Rumors say there're more." Glaring at her, Finn said, "I never touched a girl who was with somebody else. That's a line. I don't cross it."

"He's a dud in bed," murmured the pretty blonde. "You're not. I'm never going to have kids of my own..." Finn flushed to his hair. Yeah, Alex was right. Word was definitely 'getting around'. "Getting them by cheating with some other guy isn't going to work," Finn replied. "I screwed up and cheated on my girls. I'm paying for that with every crazy complication in my life right now. Don't do this to yourself. You'll regret it. And you'd have to explain to your kids someday anyway. Besides, do you really think he won't figure out that his kids aren't his? I mean... that's kind of a stretch, don't you think..." _Finn_ didn't have stretchy-powers. TV was bound to figure it out when his kids didn't have any of his powers. Rising, the big man grabbed for his clothes and got out of there. He could only hope the rejection took. His relationship with Jake was already pretty rocky after Jake Jr.'s death. Finn feared blowing things up permanently.

Elsewhere, Rolf Kirchner, putative Peanut-Prince, walked into his quarters after a long day of dealing with the madness on his border. They had literally _funneled_ the entirety of the badlands into his kingdom! They'd funneled every starving child and every homeless wretch into _his_ border! His men were in danger of being plowed under. He was going to get overrun! He couldn't see how his army could sustain this continual war. He'd been considering capitulation. He'd been thinking of throwing himself on that fucking bastard's mercy and begging him to move the barrier. Now, as the demoralized warlord walked into his study, a familiar burst of perfume announced that other problems had reemerged.

Chelsea was there in the entry to his bedroom, wearing a soft, silky dressing gown that left little of her covered. He'd landed in the evil bitch's arms because his pecker had been in control of his actions at the time. A wax-person was already exotic in Ooo. Their kind rarely left their lonely, windswept island in the ocean. On top of that, Chelsea was achingly beautiful, with perfect breasts, a sultry shape, and long, flowing golden hair. She was the kind of woman that came into your world once in a lifetime, and Rolf had been proud to make her his mistress.

Until she showed him who really was in charge.

The paralysis drug had worn off after several hours–hours where she'd kept him a prisoner for her entertainment. She'd done anything she liked, from using him as a living platter for her food to riding his cock when she was taken with the hunger. He'd threatened to have her killed, and she'd shown him the skin of his favorite pet, taken from his home and gutted. The implications of what she could do to him–or his family–had not been lost on Rolf. He'd sworn loyalty to her out of an abiding _terror_. "Evening, babe," she greeted him in her smoky voice. "Chelsea," he replied. Hips swaying sensually, she strode towards him, letting him peep that body. The sickening thing was that he was still resolutely in lust with this woman. She'd 'made it up to him' for hours after poisoning him, fucking him under the table. The harlot.

Reaching up, the evil witch brushed his chin as she loosened his collar. "Relax, babe," she said. She gestured to the full table, reminding him that he hadn't eaten at all. Food was shockingly scarce in the kingdom, and even his soldiers were getting a little lean. Knowing her rage and how easily aroused it was, the would-be prince went along to the table like a good boy. As he sat himself, he pondered if there might be poison in the food. Almost immediately, he discounted that. She didn't need to poison him that way. She could simply have one of her agents make him disappear, like his pet had vanished.

As they worked their way through supper, she peppered him with questions about 'how things were going'. The plump peanut found himself at once angry all over again and terrified of how she would perceive things. He hadn't extracted much in the way of concessions from Finn the Human. The Tesla Barrier was only open in one place, and that place was on the far side of his kingdom, funneling all the hungry masses hoping to reach the King of Ooo's protection fighting their way through _his_ lands.

"Don't call him that," Chelsea muttered. "What," he babbled? He could see in her eyes that she was moments from plunging the steak-knife she'd been eating with into his heart. "He's not the King of Ooo," growled the murderess. "He's a murdering, lieing _dog_." "Of course, Chelsea," Rolf burbled. "I... I meant no harm. It's... That's what he calls himself." Nodding, Chelsea allowed, "for now. He can call himself that all he likes for now. You and I know what he is, right?" Rolf nodded obsequiously. Coming around to his side of the table, the murderess climbed into his lap. Snuggling in against him, she said, "we're going to fix this up, babe..." He knew better than to argue. Sliding his arms around the little beauty, he said, "of course..."

Moments later, with dinner only half-eaten, she led him to the bedroom. Knowing better than to argue, the hapless _prince_ performed on command. He gave her everything she liked, going down on her for a long twenty minutes, while she squealed and moaned–and clawed at his scalp with nails that were often coated in poison. He tried not to lose his erection as the terror of being inadvertently _murdered_ filled his mind. With Chelsea, inadvertent could quickly become intentional.

Later, as she sat perched on his hips, the murderess stroked his ample belly. Out of the blue, she announced, "I need you to go south." Sitting up, he frowned at her in puzzlement. Running her sharp nail around his belly-button, she said, "I need you to make a move to take control of the Wildberry Kingdom." Rolf replied, "but my army's in danger of being overrun." Truth be told, even if there were no teeming masses of the wretched at his gates, he wouldn't have invaded that dark land of cannibals on a bet. "There's no danger," Chelsea replied. "I'll simply order them south and east towards the Lizard Kingdom." Rolf sat bolt upright. Chelsea fastened her lips to his and tried to tongue out his mouth. When she let him come up for air, the vile creature said, "my associates and I have power over those people. They'll go when and where I tell them. You just worry about how you're going to take Wildberry Kingdom without Finn the Human hearing about it..." "Y-yes, dear," he replied.

Morning found the Mafia Princess climbing aboard a train at the Candy Kingdom train station. It felt a little strange to be doing it without Thor. At the same time, the world had moved on, and her new son-in-law had moved with it. She was happy for him, and she was happy for Star. They called each other and talked every other day now. The younger woman was dazed and almost giddy with the news she'd gotten. Twins. She was going to have twins. Thor was sharpening his swords and doing his best to figure out what to do when men inevitably started looking at his daughters.

Her new bodyguard, as fierce a specimen as could be found in the halls and holdfasts of Warrior Kingdom, was quick and easy with her luggage, helping her up the stairs with one hand, even as he juggled several bags of baby-related gear. This was a quick trip, and Drew had been gracious enough to manage Van and Birch, but Cherry still had Honeydrop to look after. Her little darling was much too young to be left alone like that.

Her bodyguard led the way down to a private compartment and got her and the nursemaid settled inside before retreating to his own cubicle next door. As the train lurched into motion, the little woman settled back in her seat and stared out the window, her mind far away. It had been a long, _long_ time since she had the capacity to dream of anything other than vengeance. The fingers of her left hand toyed with her wedding ring absently. Finn had needed the time off, and she'd been one of the loudest voices insisting he take it. At the same time, she thought they could _all_ use some time off–time to grow together as a family. She'd been puzzling at that almost since the day the undead were figuratively buried, and now the matter had an added urgency. The world no longer seemed to be lurching towards disaster, but they were, collectively, in danger of losing the bubble on this strange, _shared_ life.

The train quickly gathered speed, lulling the diminutive gangster, and she soon found herself sleeping. The nursemaid took the baby from her and let her snooze there in the corner of the compartment–at least until the baby began to cry. Then she helped her mistress with getting her blouse open so the little girl could feed. In spite of Bonnie's lectures about creating perfect formulations of milk for the children, Finn had more or less insisted the kids were getting the real thing, and strangely for Cherry that had become a delight. She felt _connected_ with her baby, and she enjoyed these moments. When Honeydrop had drunk her fill, they got her changed, put her to bed, and then wrestled the twin cots down from the wall to sleep on.

The Mafia Princess lay awake for a long, long while as the train clattered down the track. Finn had often tossed and turned during their mad courtship. At first Cherry had thought it was _her_ or rather the ugly ultimatum he'd lived under with her. He'd confessed that he'd become used to sleeping with _two_ , and he didn't sleep quite the same with one missing. Cherry was starting to know what that felt like. As often as not, she shared her space with Lollipop. They did nothing more than sleep, but both women had become used to that. When Finn was home, they often went round-robin with him sandwiched between whoever was home at the time. Cherry had slept with pretty much all of them, Bonnie included, starting the night the Thief King stole the Ice Tiara from the Vaults. In the end, exhaustion won out, and the leader of the underworld finally found herself staring at the insides of her eyelids.

With the morning, the train came rolling into a sleepy town on the border of Engagement Ring Kingdom. They'd been rolling all night, stopping only briefly to pull water from a trackside tank or to drop off and pick up passengers. Now, Cherry found herself staring out the window at the unfamiliar sights of Connie's far eastern border. The place was picturesque, and she wished she could get the family here for a break. They needed the time off, all of them. As the train rolled in, the little woman caught sight of a sinister black train sitting on a siding all by itself. Her host was already here apparently.

Gathering up their belongings, princess and servants left the train, stepping off into a sheltered gallery. Almost as soon as they did, the train began to roll out, bound for Purple Kingdom to the east. It would be passing through the bad lands, and likely it would get boarded once or twice as bandits fleeced the passengers of their money. Some of that money would make its way back into _her_ pockets–tax on the proceeds from fencing the stolen loot. In the right now, the Mafia Princess found herself staring at a literal black cloud that seemed to hang over the boarding platform.

"Marshall's doing," Cherry surmised, as she began walking. She would have worried about that if she didn't know Theo was locked up. Marceline had confessed that she'd never tested the breadth of her power because she'd always feared losing herself. Cherry couldn't help thinking of how Theo would have _helped_ that along. Now she strode down towards the deepest darkness in the gallery, knowing who would be waiting there. Behind her, the terrified nursemaid stood staring at her back until the Princess's ernest bodyguard seized her by the arm and stepped off after their mistress.

Cherry felt the darkness gathering in around her, and it felt rather like she was pushing her way through a modest breeze. She felt a chill around her, but she ignored it, pressing ahead. This was good. It was all usable stuff. Let the bandit-lords _dare_ to come across the border and face _this_ down. "You're very brave," murmured the Empress as she suddenly appeared before the Mafia Princess in all her glory. "Connie," Cherry greeted the Vampire King's consort. The Empress licked her lips as she took in the sight of Finn's nasty little paramour.

Looking around her with a frown, the Mafia Princess asked, "is Marshall here?" "He has business elsewhere," Connie replied. "How may I help you?" With a shrug, Cherry replied, "more to the point, it's how I'm going to help _you_." The vampire frowned at her, but the gangster was moving on. "Let's get someplace where we can talk," she said, as she glanced around her. It was just as Marshall had said. It was rather like she thought she'd come in here and just tell you how it was going to go. But Constance was game for the challenge. Stepping off, she headed back towards the stairs that led to her train's platform, her feet never touching the ground.

The strange _pall_ followed them as they went up and over the tracks and down the stairs on the other side. As they walked, Cherry explained what was going on, now the Dipped were done, and what Finn expected of them. "We're supposed to be neutral," Constance reminded her little guest. Nodding, Cherry replied, "that's sort of the point, Connie. Your neutrality is a help here. Yours is the one vow of neutrality that nobody'd be _dumb_ enough to break." That took the Empress by surprise, and she actually _stared_ at her little guest.

"Ok, wait a minute," said Constance. "You... you're not trying to get us to come in on your side?" "No," said Cherry. "Let's just say that I value Marshall's immortal soul more than I value a few more filthy coins." They were at the train now. Cherry motioned for the vampire to step aboard. There was little point in risking death after all. With a muttered swear-word, Connie stepped inside. "Connie," announced Candace. "Did you meet the gangster?" "Candy," Cherry greeted Marshall's nasty little second wife.

Candace flushed. She'd hardly come down dressed for meeting one of the in-laws. Jerking her robe closed, she stepped aside as the little group came up the aisle. Cherry chuckled, "seen it all before, kiddo." Seeing another woman naked meant nothing at all to her anymore. Constance led the way into her private dining salon where Candy's mother sat staring at a book of all things. She hardly struck Cherry as the type. Sitting herself, Cherry motioned for her little entourage to sit themselves down out of the way.

"These men are trouble," said Constance, as she fished a bottle of wine from one of the cabinets. Settling it on the table, she popped the cork and poured herself a glass. Cherry found herself staring at the bottle in unhappy memory. New body and no more addiction–just the ugly remembrances of when she'd been a drunk. Tippling at the glass, Connie turned it from a vibrant red to a dark pink. "Why is he inviting them," the vampire demanded? "Money, Connie," said Cherry. "Those men have money, and the civilized kingdoms are broke. Wars are expensive." Finn was going to relieve those men of the burden of their wealth.

Connie put her glass down and stared at her visitor. Cherry chuckled, "not what you expected from your old boyfriend?" "Not from a man who was dumb as a box of rocks," Constance allowed. "I... Alright, so what _did_ you come for? Clearly this isn't what I feared it was going to be..." "We're going to frighten them," said Cherry. "We're going to make the idea of bringing soldiers across the border so terrifying that they're liable to have desertion in the ranks if they suggest it. Right now, I have some... associates... releasing a series of video clips... We ginned them up out of Sarah's memories of things Marceline's done in the past... A little editing, and it'll look convincingly like you and Marshall tearing up a bunch of Berry People." Constance let out a gasp.

Resting her face on her right hand, Cherry said, "you and the girls here will conjure up a few skeletons... Maybe you do that thing you did with the cloud..." She ladled it on good, conjuring up a campaign of terror that would have had _Connie_ scared shitless. It was a plan so good, Constance thought those men would never cross her border again. She'd been wondering how to deal with that. This could be good for both sides. Nodding, she drained the glass at one go, announcing, "done!"

 **Always good to see the dysfunctional side of the Finn family for a little perspective... Meanwhile, the girls are moving' out and getting shit done.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

There was something in the air as Finn stepped off the Royal Train in Muscle Kingdom. He wasn't sure just what it was. The air was fresher somehow. He _felt_ fresher. And maybe that was the thing. He'd gotten a breather, even if it was only a week. He'd had some real downtime. No work. No kids. No wives. For a moment, it had been like old times with Jake–until Samantha and Pearl cut the whole thing short. He couldn't exactly begrudge Jake and TV dropping Card-Wars for pussy though. Time was, he would have wanted some lovin' himself, but he already had way too much of a good thing. More to the point, he'd been very happy to see Pearl's interest return to her hubby. The last thing Finn wanted to see was his nephew's girl dumping TV for _him_.

His cabinet came off the train behind him. Bonnie was hard on his heels, cradling Rosie. She was irritated that she couldn't just fob their daughter off on Lollipop and Drew. Finn had left her in tears, making it clear that a child needed _both_ parents. And there weren't going to be substitutions. He'd let her skate on the milk thing. Alone of his kids, Rosie got the fake stuff. That was all the back-sliding he intended to permit. Today Rosie was fussy, and Bonnie was frazzled.

Simone, by contrast, was dapper and put-together. But this had been _every day_ for the Ice Queen. She'd wrangled three at once and kept their home too. Dressed in one of her old outfits, she had a notepad in one hand, Jewel sucking on her left knocker, and a phone tucked against her ear. Betty was next, cradling Ranna on one hip, and she was helpfully looking out for Simone as mother and daughter followed their husband through the train station. Nadia and Cherry were next. A floating pod containing little Vlad and Tatiana and a pair of nursemaids pushing a three-seat stroller marked them as women of means.

Hurletta and Ragnhild were next off the train. Billy had the Froyo Princess's two sons. She only had to manage herself today. Hurletta was helping her 'make up' for that because the Slime Princess was absolutely snockered with the oodles of work that Finn had found for her to do. She had to start a bank. She had to build a working treasury where none existed. She'd gone from pondering war against a man she'd been in love with most of her life to the terrifying reality that she was just as awful at being a leader as her sister had said. Only now Finn was depending on her. _Millions_ were depending on her to get this right.

And of course Ragnhild was right there to show her how it was done. The Froyo Kingdom wasn't a shambles. There was no rampant chaos in streets that didn't quite exist. She was somehow even managing to hang on in the face of having two wenches trying to steal her man out from under her. It made Hurletta feel like hiding her face. She would have if she dared. But she wasn't going to get a second chance. There were more than a few who noticed that Blargetha was a better leader than she was, even with all her faults. Much like Bonnie before her, she had no choice if she wanted to keep her own head.

Finn was hardly surprised to find Nieve waiting on him with her few guards. Young and pretty, she reminded him of the Yolanda of his youth–before the former Muscle Princess had gone to seed from too much good living. Proud as anything, she hardly looked happy to see him. She did offer him a bow, though her face looked as though it might crack. "Thank-you for hosting our gathering," Finn offered. He motioned for her to fall in at his left. "You are welcome in our Kingdom anytime, My King," Nieve burbled.

They were coming to the exit. Thor's men already had control of the door, keeping the entry clear of people. Finn's entourage went out the exit to find a fleet of coaches waiting. It was old-style formal, reminding Finn of the good old days when Bonnie could most often be found riding in one of her big ornate carriages–when she wasn't riding around on Lady's back. "Please join the First-Minister and I," said Finn. "We've a lot to discuss."

As they settled into the coach's interior, Finn took a hard look at what he was dealing with. Nieve's face was frozen in a rictus of barely-concealed anger. Finn could hardly imagine what she was dealing with right now. She was princess of a kingdom that had lost its army, it's power, and it's independence. She'd been made princess in a bid to hold onto the little bit of power her family had left. Betty liked to remind Finn that anyone wearing a crown was a dangerously ambitious potential troublemaker, and he could see it was true. Hadn't Maja said it? Everybody who ever shafted her wore a crown.

The King of Ooo opened with, "your lands are lying fallow, Princess Nieve. I'd like to understand why. The breadbasket of Ooo was damaged by the undead. We need everyone pulling their weight." The Muscle Princess simply stared. Sitting up straight, Finn asked, "do you need fertilizer? Workers...?" Nieve swallowed her rage. In icy tones, the prickly young princess responded, "there are undead monsters prowling the darkness. They came out of Bee Kingdom. My... predecessor wasn't able to adequately address the problem." Nodding, Finn said, "I'll take care of it. I think you can sneak in a harvest before fall. Have your people in the fields. Tomorrow." Nieve Quiles-Vega goggled at him. Finn kept on keepin' on. By the time they reached the palace, the young princess was more than ready to leave his presence.

Nieve gleefully fobbed them off on her staff and beat a hasty retreat. Finn found himself watching her swaying backside as she all but tore out of there. "Well _you_ developed a way with the ladies," Bonnie teased. At Finn's frown, she said, "I don't know how you do that. When you were a boy you were _always_ checking out my tits. She had it all hangin' out there, and you didn't even notice..." Finn shrugged. He didn't have the time. There was work to do. The big man strode off. He had to call Marshall and get the zombies rounded up. He left Bonnie frowning at him–and at Nadia. "Beats me," Nadia rumbled. "He keeps complaining that he's too horny and wants to get dialed back."

It was news that had several faces there worried. Drew had been militating for Nadia to get the nano-machines out of Finn's body, but there never seemed to be time. He was carrying the world. Again. Still. Simone said, "you need to find the time, Nadia. At the least, we need to know what's going on inside..." It wasn't angry or judgmental. Simone was as calm and composed as Simon. "I'll have Drew take samples," Nadia promised. Simone nodded. That was enough. Moving onward, the Ice Queen said, "let's get dinner on the table. Tomorrow will be with us soon enough."

The King of Ooo had the entirety of the Council up and moving bright and early the following morning. After his phone call with Marshall, he'd had a pleasant evening with his family. For once Strudel and Breakfast were behaving, and the family had enjoyed a wonderful and wide-ranging conversation about future plans. With no crises threatening to swallow them, Cherry had managed to finally broach the topic of a family vacation, and most everyone had been happy to agree. The mood of his family/cabinet was a positive one as they headed out to see Finn's demonstration.

The land outside Nieve's capitol was a magnificent desolation. Empty of life after the Lich-War and Wildberry's rebellion, the place made an excellent place to demonstrate a weapon. Bonnie found herself a little astonished to see Finn's plan coming together like this and a little appalled that her former chump of a boyfriend could envision something like _this_. It was like he was two or three steps down the road while she was just getting out of the shower.

There was a sullen group of men and women waiting on them. They were, as a whole, a terrified lot. Several had been blocked at the border with Warrior Kingdom. That had forced them south and east through Engagement Ring Kingdom where mindless undead seemed to roam the land. Shambling skeletons and bloated, stinking zombies had greeted them–an ugly reminder of what had happened to the armies sent by Wildberry Kingdom. The caravans of minor royalty had faced a veritable carnival-ride of terror as they had crossed the kingdom of the damned.

Of course nobody could forget that Marshall Lee, the Vampire King, was the _son_ of the self-proclaimed King of Ooo. No-one brought more than a handful of guards. No-one dared. It was a certainty that they kept their heads only as long as Finn allowed it. Now they were facing the man himself.

Backing him was a set of even more fiendish creations. There were a dozen of the brutish machines sitting silently on that field. Opposite them stood an army of statues built out of wood and scrap-metal. It was an unsubtle suggestion of the power those things had. The audience was already feeling the heat before their unlikely conqueror stepped on the stage.

The King of Ooo began his speech far off topic. The issue on his mind was the aliens who'd struck Ooo, the Lich and his attempts to murder everyone with ice and snow, and the onslaught of undead just ended. He was building his case. It was exactly what Bonnie herself had tried–in vain–for _years_ with Wildberry blocking the effort. Finn invoked the existential threats their world faced and skillfully drew the correct conclusions. Bonnie found her heart swelled with pride. For once she seemed to have made the _right_ choice instead of the choice that satisfied her ego.

Done speaking, Finn took up the microphone and unleashed _hell_ on the packed mass of statues. The war-machines laid into the targets en-masse, blasting and vaporizing them. From above, a swarming mass of killer-bees swooped in, unleashing bombs and masses of the deadly magic javelins that had been Huntress Wizard's stock in trade. The scene sent a shiver of fear down Betty's spine, and she'd seen this sort of thing all over the TV when she was a young woman in the 21st century.

When the smoke finally cleared away from a set of thoroughly obliterated targets, there was dead silence. Finn moved back to the podium, cleared his throat, and said, "we will be stationing the weapon-storage containers across the face of Ooo, primarily in empty places so they don't disturb the Peace of Ooo. Of course I reserve the right to move them as needed to address problems that arise."

Bonnie shivered as she took in the enormity of that subtle threat. He didn't bluster like she expected a man to. One of the reasons she'd always preferred to deal with princesses was the male proclivity to resort to his fists–or so she thought. Now she found herself reassessing that world-view as Finn calmly laid out exactly what his guests were going to contribute to the Crown of Ooo lest they find themselves staring down the ugly black barrels of the robot-army's guns.

The big man laid it on sweet, and he laid it on thick. He was the man who was going to protect them and their lands from the predations of liches, undead, and alien invaders. He'd stop it all. He already had on numerous occasions. In exchange, all he needed was a little money. Their lives would change very little. He wasn't even offering to smash them for the predations they'd made against their neighbors. It would all get swept under the rug. Go and sin no more. And he had them. Bonnie could see he had them. They were men and women who understood what a threat was. More to the point, they understood what overwhelming force looked like. And at the end of the day, he was letting them off _very_ lightly when he could easily have taken everything they had plus their lives.

They signed.

The pack of them was _eager_ to sign. While they didn't all have the money Finn demanded, Hurletta didn't lack for pledges. There were a couple of the more powerful lords who seemed utterly terrified that, did their new master fail to get all he asked, he would unleash his toys on the pack of them. They pooled their money to pay for a couple of weaklings who were _short_. Then Thor's troops gleefully whipped them on their way, driving them down to where their coaches waited. They were gone and headed back east to their homes scarcely an hour after the guns fell silent.

For his part, Finn stood aloof from much of the business, leaving it to Bonnie, Ragnhild, and Hurletta to manage. They were the face of his government, and he let them do their thing. As the day drew to a close, Finn the King stood on that empty field watching as Nadia's guys bundled up the few robots they'd brought down, preparatory to transporting them back to Bonnie's capitol. Coming up alongside her husband, Bonnibel Bubblegum found herself stricken by melancholy. She was losing her carefully crafted control over Ooo's affairs, and that was bothering her. Finn had been right about her–righter than she wanted to admit. She was a control-freak. She needed to change.

Slipping her arms around his shoulders, she lay her face against the crook of his neck and sighed, "you were right again, baby. Thank-you for doing this. Thank-you for fixing a problem I neglected." Turning slightly, Finn pulled the tall princess into his arms and held her tight. Moments later, they were kissing, with Finn running his fingers through her sticky pink hair. "Ok," chuckled Betty. "Break it up!" Flushing, the King and his Queen separated. Smiling, Betty said, "Hurletta's wrapping things up. Breezy wanted to see you this evening." "Ok," Finn said. "Where and when?" "She'd like to see you in the Royal Garden," Betty replied. Nodding, the King said, "I'm'a go get a shower." Drawing the plump woman to him, Finn gave Betty a kiss, and then he got on his way, leaving Bonnie and Betty on the field.

Betty was smirking, and Bonnie found herself wondering at that. "Ok," she murmured. "What gives?" When Betty might have dissembled, the tall princess said, "something's up. What is it you know?" With a shrug, Betty said, "I just saw what Breezy was wearing, is all..." Apparently what Breezy was wearing was something more interesting than the typical demur dress she showed up to council meetings wearing. They'd all more or less agreed to have Breezy join their number. She'd been down in the trenches like the rest of them, fighting to save the world from Death's evil scheme.

More to the point, Breezy had a kingdom and an army to support them. She made a far better addition than the breakfast sisters. Unfortunately for their scheme, Finn had stubbornly resisted the very idea, and Breezy herself had been ambivalent, bouncing back and forth between an ernest lust for the man who's life she'd saved and a desire to remain faithful to the husband that was shitting on her.

"You don't think," murmured Bonnie? Betty chuckled. Judging by what Breezy was wearing, Finn was in for quite the time. And he'd as much as admitted to wanting to bang the Queen Bee in an unguarded moment. Both women found themselves giggling. Bonnie honestly wanted to watch, suggesting that Sarah had come by her voyeuristic tendencies honestly.

For his part, Finn headed straight back to Nieve's palace where he went straight to his quarters and straight into the shower. It had been _months_ since the last time Finn had seen the Queen Bee. They'd chatted once or twice on the phone, but mostly she'd been in her Kingdom doing her thing–cranking out tasty-but-addictive honey.

The King of Ooo had been pleased to see that plan bear fruit. The bees were making money hand-over-fist on sales of honey. The price had gone down a little now that it was so much easier to get since the men of Engagement Ring Kingdom only had to go to the border to meet up with their connects as opposed to marching far into the interior of Bee Kingdom to trade. Still, even with the price drop, Breezy's dudes were making bank. And Finn? He was going to tap some of that. He'd made it possible, after all.

Of course that was hardly his only reason for seeing his 'bro'. Breezy had done him a good turn, showing up with some of her troops to help him with his little demonstration. He was excited to see her and thank her for her assistance, and of course absence did indeed make the heart go fonder. He missed her voice. He missed her strange scent and odd little habits. The madness of the war against the undead had changed both of them, making them closer than before, and he was excited to share his plans with her.

As he stood in the garden that evening, staring into the distance at the crystal-blue waters of the sea, Breezy stood in the shadows, watching him. He was just as she remembered. Tall, broad in the shoulders and narrow at the waist, he was shockingly fit for a man his age. But she knew his secret. She couldn't really help a smirk. He was dressed far better than he had in his youth, and some of her missed his old look. At the same time, the suit made him look very tasty. Lost in thought as he was, she wondered what he thought of, and she almost hated to break the spell. Still, she had come for a purpose too.

"Finn," she called. The big man turned to find his 'bro' there in all her glory, holding a picnic basket of all things. Unaccountably a blush suffused his weathered features, and she wondered. Had he been thinking of her? And then he did a double-take as he took in the sight of what his 'bro' was wearing. Finn was astonished by how Breezy was dressed. She'd come in a micro-mini skirt that was slit up the side and tied in place at her left hip. A thin black stripe on either hip, just above the waist of that abbreviated skirt suggested that she was wearing the skimpiest of panties. Up top, she wore a thin silk top that barely came down below her pear-shaped knockers. Tied in back with the thinnest of spaghetti strings, it threatened to bare those knobs to his hungry gaze at any moment. Finn found his mouth went dry and his pecker got a little hard in his pants at the sight.

Meanwhile, two of the unhappy witnesses to Finn's demonstration were meeting up on the far side of the Muscle Palace for some mischief. The Emerald Princess had been enraged by her treatment at Finn's hands. Her nephew had seen an unlikely ally in Nieve the Muscle Princess. Usually she took her good-for-nothing heir's advice with a few grains of salt. This time she thought he might well be right.

Nieve greeted her warmly, offering ice-tea and plum punch along with sugar-cookies. The Emerald Princess helped herself liberally to the punch and cookies. The two chatted for a few minutes about small matters. Testing the waters a bit, Princess Aysun inquired about Nieve's aunt, the now-deposed Muscle Princess. Nieve simply responded, "that damned barbarian won't even discuss the matter of her freedom. It's as if he intends to jail her for the rest of her life. _She_ didn't lead an army against him!" Aysun offered comforting platitudes, though she expected this wench hardly wanted Yolanda back. She'd be back as an understudy. At best, she'd be looking over her shoulder. Still she was circumspect enough to conceal her true feelings. That counted for something, making Aysun more comfortable.

Setting down her cup, the Emerald Princess, said, "I came calling today to discuss the matter of our nasty little tyrant..." Nieve sat straighter. Nodding, Aysun opined, "he's rather full of himself and his power. I think we both know how that will end." "Men like him brought the Mushroom War," Nieve responded automatically. The princesses had never been friendly to male membership. That played into Aysun's hands as she broached her idea. "I have no heir," said the Emerald Princess. "None, save my nephew. I would be delighted if he had a strong daughter... someone who could be groomed..."

Nieve's eyes went wide as she realized what this woman was proposing. After a moment, she finally responded, "you fear the reaction if we just announce this. That's why you wanted to meet like this..." Ordinarily, they would have exchanged official envoys and official gifts until an agreement was struck. And everyone on Ooo would have been aware that the Emerald Throne was courting Muscle Kingdom's heir. But in an Ooo shaken by a very recent war, that might draw negative attention. If they went forward with this, they risked Finn's wrath.

 _But what will you do, Nieve,_ thought the muscle princess? _Be a prisoner of your own kingdom?_ Her choices were narrow here. She could be Finn's dog or she could _fight_. "Alright," she said. "Let's chat..." Aysun leaned forward, and the negotiating began in ernest.

Back in the garden, Finn put down the remnant of the delicious chicken Breezy had brought. He might have guessed she was a fantastic cook. A part of him dazedly wondered how she was as a mom. It was a forbidden idea–especially when he had two-dozen kids already–but he was more attracted to Breezy than ever. Of course, the opposite was just as true. Between the compliments and the way he looked at her–better than Bart had looked at her in _years_ –the Queen Bee wanted to jump him.

In a teasing voice, Breezy said, "I noticed that you liked my top earlier..." Finn blushed to his hair. Her pouty lips were pursed in a smile as she asked, "did it remind you of when I was carrying you? When you kept slipping out of the harness and ending up with your face pressed into my tits?" Finn felt the heat of desire begin to flow through his body. Just like that night, he was struck by the way his 'bro' smelled and sounded. Yeah, he was tempted. Just like with Pearl, he was tempted to do every wrong thing with a woman who was married to some other dude. The trouble here was that he didn't really know Bart, and what he did know of Breezy's guy he didn't really like.

Finn forced himself to look away. They shouldn't be here like this. Leaning toward him, she whispered, "is it so bad to admit you're attracted to me? I mean, you got a big boner when I was carrying you..." Finn's blush deepened, and he would have apologized. "No need to be sorry, Finn," she murmured. "Actually, I got a little creamy thinking about it. I could feel how big your cock was, and I kept thinking about how much those bitches must like it because you had eleven..." That turned the heat up to eleven, and he found himself staring into those dark, dark eyes of hers. Yeah, he could lose himself in those eyes if he wasn't careful. Another needy girl who just wanted him to scratch the itch.

What he didn't understand was how they'd found themselves here. Breezy was married, and she'd never been shy about reminding him of that fact. More to the point, she stood to lose the respect of her people if she got caught doing something dumb. "B," he murmured. "We... we should go in." "Is that what you want to do," she asked? She was pushing. "Do you want to go in, Finn," she demanded? "Or maybe _get off_." His little head definitely wanted the second suggestion. "B," he pleaded. "Let's not go there..." "Where do you want to go," she retorted? "My room? Yours is probably better. Or we could find someplace quiet... You could take this top off..."

As she spoke, the big man found himself leaning towards her, while she leaned towards him. Lips parted in an inviting fashion, her long, thin, pointed tongue teased at those sumptuous, bee-stung lips, urging him to take that invitation. Moment by moment and inch by inch the pair got closer and closer still until finally, with a minute shock of electricity, their lips met. Finn found himself kissing Breezy, their tongues dueling. Her hand caught at his big right mitt and dragged it to her plump left titty, shoving it unceremoniously up under her top. Her other hand brought his left hand down to her thigh. He didn't have to be told twice.

In short order, he had his old flame on her back, and he had his hands all over those plump knockers of hers. At the same time, she was trying to devour him. She had her hands twined in his hair, her lips locked to his, and she wasn't letting him up for air. Fighting his passion for a woman who'd saved his ass twice now, Finn the human tore himself out of her grasp, even managing to lose a little of his hair in the process. "Finn," she whined. She was about to turn on the water, and if she did, he wouldn't be able to get out of here. He'd be in her pants, and they'd be in trouble. He put his back to her. He knew it was hurting her, but he did it anyway.

"B," he said. "What's... what's really going on? W-why?" With a heavy-hearted sigh, she admitted, "Bart's... I'm tired of Bart... He's always saying I cheat on him... I... If he's going to say it, I want to finally have it!" The tears started then. She threw herself on him and cried and cried. Finn had to harden his heart against that, when he really wanted to fucking smoke Bart and sell him for sausages. "Babe," he sighed. "I'm sorry... I didn't know what I was asking for..." "Fuck him," she snarled! "He... We're _prosperous_! My people have all they could want for once, and you made it happen! And all that ass can see is his fear that you'll take me away!"

She tried to spin him around. She was _strong_ –probably strong as he was. When she locked those plump lips of hers to his again, it was harder than ever to push her away. Push he did, though. "Y-you're not gonna'...," she whined? "No," he said. "I'm not going to mess things up for you, B. No matter how much I want to." Her face went hot. Resting his forehead against hers, he sighed, "I've thought about bangin' Breezy for the last six months, babe. But that pisses on five kids, and that wouldn't be right." The Queen Bee sighed heavily. "You're annoying, Finn," she said. "I can't even beg for it when you put it like that..." Finn laughed. Still, they really needed to get out of here. Finn didn't really like the risk she was running being here this way.

The big man began gathering up the plates and things from their picnic. Breezy made a show out of covering those amazing knobs of hers. You would hardly have guessed she was his age and had fed five kids with those knockers. A part of him wanted to touch those knobs–to lick them and suck them like her kids had. He hungered to see that glorious ass without that skirt in the way. He wanted to see if those panties were as skimpy as her top was. In the end, fighting down temptation, the King of Ooo made his escape, though it was straight back to the shower to stand under icy cold water.

 **How long can he dodge the temptation? And how long until he has to get his hands dirty himself?**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

"I can't do this," Nadia rumbled.

He hadn't seen that much distress in her eyes since he'd forced the Grid-Face People to take their Matrix offline. It had hurt to see her hurting back then, and it still hurt to remember that moment today. Finn sighed heavily. He'd been on top of the world when they got back from Muscle Kingdom. He had the unaffiliated toeing the line. He had the civilized kingdoms protected adequately for the first time in forever, and it had looked rather like he would get his way about the money situation. Now this. What good did it do him to raise the money to expand the army if he couldn't build the weapons to do it? He wasn't smart enough to do it himself, and he had Shoko hard at work on something just as important.

As he was pondering the fix he was in, Breakfast knocked on the door and entered, announcing, "you've got a couple of visitors..." Finn glanced to his lady. He needed a moment to think about this. In wheedling tones, he asked, "can you wait in the garden a moment, babe?" That startled the cyborg girl. After a moment, she said, "alright. Only a moment. We need to talk this through." She knew he was stalling. Finn promised he'd get right back to their conversation. The cyborg-hottie stepped out into the garden, leaving Finn alone in his office.

Breakfast returned moments later with Riley and Teri–two faces that he would hardly have been expecting to see. After his last visit to their bar, he'd been head-down, doing his thing. Outside of pity-parties, he had no real reason to be down at their place, and he had sworn off losing himself in self-pity. Now, he welcomed the pair into his office with more than a little puzzlement. What did they need from _him_? He'd gotten the rogue Banana Guard arrested after all.

Both women were dressed to the nines, with Riley wearing a brown dress that covered most of her body but still managed to show off those amazing, gravity-defying knockers of hers. Teri came in a yellowish-green dress that emphasized the curves of her delicious little hips. He imagined they'd come to meet formally with a King instead of an old friend, though he didn't mind it in the least. Staring around her at the heavy desk and furnishings, the former Hug-Wolf opined, "I guess it's good to be King..." Finn blushed. It wasn't as good as she thought, but he kept his mouth shut about that.

Motioning for them to sit, Finn sat himself opposite the pair. Smoothing their skirts in unison, the two unlikely lovers sat down before him, looking prim and proper to say they were strippers. "Sooo...," Finn began. "What can I help you with? Bonnie tells me I should give money to the performing arts, but I'm not really sure you're what she had in mind." Teri tittered, and Riley rolled her eyes at that. Neither was really a fan of the Candy Monarch.

Laying a slim hand on the desk, Riley told him, "you kind of missed the wedding, babe..." Finn blushed. He'd suspected that Riley and Teri were a thing. In point of fact, he'd come to understand what that meant from conversations with Sarah and Marceline about just what the nature of Marcy's _thing_ with Bonnie was. He didn't have hang-ups about it, and honestly he was a little sad he'd missed them getting hitched. Teri let him off the hook, saying, "what she means is that usually you give the bride a present..." Finn chuckled. He'd forgotten. He'd meant to look into getting them something and promptly forgot all about it when it came time to get on the train to go to Muscle Kingdom.

"Well," said Riley. "We're here now. How about a favor, babe?" Impulsively, Finn replied, "sure. Name it." "Well," said Riley. "Teri and I want babies. We want you to get us both pregnant." Finn's jaw came open. In a teasing voice, Teri said, "you lit out of the bar so fast with that other girl that we never got a chance to ask..." The big man caught himself as he was about to groan in disgust. That wasn't nice, and he didn't want to make them feel bad. At the same time, he was _married_! "C'mon," said Riley. "I mean... you kind of already have one with that fish-bitch." Finn flushed. He'd had that announced because he felt like he didn't have a choice. He now feared that decision was going to be a pain in his ass. First Pearl and now these two.

The big man put them off with 'Lemme' think about it', and had Breakfast hustle them out. When they'd gone, he went out to the garden to find his wife–number ten–sitting there looking prim and proper in a deep red-orange number with their daughter and son. The dresses did things to him. He liked them better than the slutty, skin-tight jumpsuits, though her people thought she was scandalous for exposing so much skin.

As he sat down, she said, "you should help them... You owe them. We all do." Finn flushed. Riley and Teri had hidden him when he was in exile and on the run from all the people who wanted control of the War-Machine. They'd made sure the anniversary presents got delivered, the babies got the recordings of daddy's voice, and the wives' letters got back to him. They'd made his life bearable when he'd been pretty much down in the gutter.

He didn't really want to talk about that right now. He was in an unhappy place with the woman who'd literally saved him from Death's clutches. "Look at me," he murmured. Nadia looked up, her uncanny cybernetic eyes focusing on his. There were people who found her gaze terrifying. For Finn, she was just Nadia. "I won't ever ask that of you again," Finn told her. "I just want you to understand... I... Need this. I don't want to do this. I... like things... the way they were..." Flushing a little she reflexively muttered something in Russian before remembering he could understand her. Nodding, she said, "I don't like this place that we're in, but I accept that it's the place we're in. I can't help you with this. I can't find it in myself..." "And you won't have to," Finn replied. "I'll... I'll find another way. Thanks, baby. Thanks for understanding."

Sniffing back tears, she said, "it's me who should be thanking _you_ for understanding. You could compel me, but you don't..." "Wouldn't be worthy of your love or anybody else's," he replied, as he stood up. "I'll see you later, babe," he said. Nodding, she said, "think about it, Finn. We owe them." Nadia stood, and the pair embraced fiercely. Then the tall princess gathered up their kids and headed off across the garden, bound for the office/lab space she now shared with Sarah. There were still things she _could_ do to help their cause.

Finn buried himself in work, pushing aside the worries in spite of his shrink's suggestion that it wasn't healthy. Trouble was the worry-tank wasn't just full, it was overflowing. He worried about his kids. He worried about his ladies. He even worried about his brother and his brother's family, even when he _knew_ there was nothing he could do. And now Teri and Riley were putting themselves in the mix. And what was he going to do? He couldn't protect them all! Someone was going to get bold and hurt someone he loved again. All he'd have left after that was vengeance.

As that unhappy thought crossed his mind, he had an epiphany. The dark, ugly piece of him that had acted out all his hate and rage on his dad was urging him to go with that emotion. Except he was _king_. He should never act in anger. Frowning down at the paper in his hands, the King of Ooo called out to his secretary. "Mrs. Mertens, come here please," he said. A puzzled Breakfast stepped into the room. "Draft a decree, please," he commanded. As a clearly worried Breakfast took notes, Finn dictated a terrifying edict.

Meanwhile, Bonnibel Mertens strode into her daughter's lab in the heart of the Fire-Kingdom. It felt decidedly _odd_ coming here. If it wasn't wearing a hazard suit, it was the obvious fact of her daughter's _condition_. She knew a lot of her unhappiness was her unhealthy desire to control her child's fate–to steer it where _she_ thought it should go. That knowledge did little to help her cope with the sight of _pregnant_ Shoko. Still, swallowing her angst, the bubblegum-princess glided forward to collect a hug from her middle child. Shoko gave her mother an awkward hug–between her belly and the containment suit, there was a lot of bulk in the way–and greeted the candy-monarch with, "mom..."

Stepping back, Shoko asked, "what brings you?" Her parents had been here for the wedding, but nothing since, though Shoko _had_ spoken with her father. Bonnie was busy looking around her in a state of bemused shock at all the equipment her daughter owned. Randy had bought a lot of it. Shoko had built a lot more. She _was_ her mother's daughter. Bonnie's eyes settled on 'the thing' as Phoebe called it. Shoko's machine had allowed several elementals to leave the Kingdom permanently, making it the center of a growing controversy. It had also allowed a form of immigration with would-be elementals flocking here. So what now was an elemental? Many of Phoebe's most ardent detractors were asking the question.

Turning to face her daughter, Bonnie said, "your father's been told to lay off of being a work-aholic..." Which Shoko already knew. She'd been there virtually when he got the smack-down from Dr. P. Giving her child a smile, Bonnie said, "I'm kind of picking up some of the slack... Sooo... I'm kind of here to ask a favor..." That news raised Shoko's hackles. "What kind of favor," she asked? Taking a deep breath, Bonnie said, "I kind of have to swear you to secrecy..." "Go on," Shoko replied. She had a suspicion that she was already working on a piece of the scheme, and her mother had no clue. Of course, Bonnibel Bubblegum was a self-proclaimed diplomat and scientist. Weapons–and their use–were far beyond her typical workspace. Finn had none of the hang-ups his wife had. If you told him to protect Ooo from aliens he would do just that, finding weapons along the way if he needed them.

Bonnie began with a rather esoteric explanation of war, sounding very much like someone who'd read, then memorized a treatise on military history. Shoko listened patiently as Finn's hyper-intelligent wife tried feebly to explain what he'd likely figured out just from intuition. Shoko fought the urge to roll her eyes. Her mother was often too smart for her own good. It amazed her that Bonnie made the leap finally to accept what Finn had been trying so hard to give her across his youth. Finally the elder woman rattled to the end of her long-winded request. "I need your help designing these flying weapons, Shoko," she explained. She didn't have the time to do it herself.

Bonnie squared up and waited on her daughter's reaction. Would she be as horrified as her mother? With a heavy-hearted sigh, Shoko replied, "I'm sorry, mother. I can't... I'm..." A semi-relieved Bonnie replied, "I understand, Shoko. Designing weapons is an ugly business..." Shaking her head, Shoko retorted, "no, momma. You _don't_ understand. I'm already working on a piece of dad's plan. I don't have time to work on a second..." Bonnie goggled at her. Glancing away, Shoko replied, "I can't talk about it, mom. I... Dad wanted it kept secret..." "I... see...," Bonnie burbled.

Shoko could see what her mother was thinking. And wasn't that _why_ Finn was keeping his cards close to the chest? Bonnie Bubblegum could go squeamish fast when pushed out of her comfort zone. The older woman glanced around her, and Shoko imagined her searching out weapons–or pieces of weapons–in the laboratory. "You're not going to tell me what you're working on, are you," asked the candy-monarch? "Can't, mom," Shoko replied, "Royal Promise." Shaking her head and muttering curses, Bonnie turned and headed for the door. Shoko sighed heavily. _That_ went well.

As a troubled Bonnie headed for the gates of the Fire Kingdom, Drew interrupted Finn's work with a frantic phone call. The King of Ooo had just dispatched Breakfast to work on his new decree. Picking up his phone, Finn announced, "go..." The next words out of his lovely doctor's lips made his blood run cold. Maja was in labor. And she was having complications. Lots of them. Rising, Finn strode to the door of his office, finding a troubled Breakfast staring at what he'd ordered her to write. "Maja's giving birth," Finn announced. And then, in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

Finn found a frantic Drew cradling a weak and listless Maja. Her dress was soaked, and it was clear she was bleeding. He'd never seen Drew in a state quite like this. He'd never understood her rule about relationships with patients until that moment. The King of Ooo took Maja from Drew's arms. Injecting calm into his voice, he said, "follow me as quick as you can..." And then he was gone, leaving Drew in tears. The last thing she would have asked of him was to risk reviving the Quicksilver Curse.

Curse or no, she had a baby to get delivered and a life to save. The pretty doctor rushed down to the palace's little surgery ward. On the way, she called in all the specialists she'd put on call for this moment. Arriving in the surgery, she was pleased to find Finn had things well in hand. He had Maja stripped. He'd gotten her in a hospital gown and laid out on the table. He'd even started getting the instruments together. When his wife arrived, he quickly moved to get out of the way. "I can see you've been learning some things," Drew murmured. Finn blushed. It was the nanobots. Again. Still. He was having a lot easier time remembering things he saw. They weren't making him _smarter_ , but he did tend to think a lot more clearly now.

Promising herself to get to the bottom of that, the tall doctor moved in, got herself scrubbed up, and got down to work. As she washed the patient, shaved her nether regions, and got ready for an emergency C-section–just in case–the rest of the staff began arriving. As promised, saving both Maja and her baby ended up taking every ounce of skill the beautiful doctor possessed. The business went hours, with Maja getting increasingly incoherent with every passing moment. The witch ultimately went to sleep.

 **Maja's baby is born, and Finn is up to something. Wonder what he's planning?**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

Finn's expression told Drew something of how she looked. After a few days of round-the-clock care for her newest stepson, along with the vigil over his mother, she _felt_ fifty, and now she thought she looked the part. No make-up, bloodshot, bleary eyes. Yeah, she was a mess, and hardly the sexy creature that would have had her husband drooling and wanting to grab her butt. "Chiang's fine," Drew murmured. She was deflecting, and they both knew it. As the woman who'd doctored on him much of his life, she well knew how the condition of the women who shared his life mattered to him. He had enough worry on his plate.

Of course, she knew better than to hide things from him as well, so when his first question of the day was for an honest assessment of Maja's chances, she gave him the unvarnished truth. "I don't know, Finn," Drew admitted. "I... It's not exactly a coma, but I can't seem to wake her either." Ultimately, Finn had decided that if his son survived in a condition to understand, Finn would do his best to tell Chiang who his mother was. He was saddened that he had failed to keep his word to Maja, but he would move forward as best he could.

Settling a comforting hand on either shoulder, Finn told his wife, "keep me posted... Keep looking in on her." Drew promised she would. Moving on, she said, "weren't you supposed to go to the club tonight." Finn flushed to his hair. He was being lent out. Nadia had told the others about Teri and Riley, and they'd all, collectively, decided that Finn should give the pair what they were asking for. Simone had as much as told him that if Sheila got to have a baby, then certainly Riley and Teri deserved it. And the pack of them had essentially cut him off to make sure it happened. "Going," Finn muttered.

Drew rolled her eyes. This was the man who could make getting laid seem like a chore. She was becoming a little concerned about the changes in his libido. There were moments where he seemed like a typically horny man, but there were stretches where he seemed wholly unenthusiastic about sex. Nadia owed her an analysis of the nano-machines in his bloodstream, but, as usual, she was finding a million other things to do that were more important. Drew was considering finding a doctor in Grid-Face Kingdom herself to do the honors–assuming she could nail Finn's feet down long enough to get the needed samples.

Leaving his beloved doctor behind, the King of Ooo headed out for his unlikely appointment. He'd kind of been ducking this for a while now out of a sense of terror at what it could lead to. The girls hardly saw the can of worms they were opening up with this gesture. They looked at it as rewarding loyal friends of the family who didn't have an ugly agenda. Finn couldn't help thinking of the buttload of women who were eyeing him up. In his late teens and early twenties, he'd often felt like an amusement park ride with a hundred screaming girls waiting in line to have a turn. He'd been holding them off for half his life. This felt a lot like opening the floodgates.

Climbing into the back of his ride, the King of Ooo gave his bodyguard directions as he settled behind the wheel. While Dahl drove, his lord went for a long walk through the knots and twists and turns of his worries. Finn found himself exploring all the things that kept him up at night. He'd had a couple of loyal mercenary friends searching for a cure for Maja's illness. He'd been thinking that her giving birth successfully sort of damped down the urgency, but this sudden strange turn had changed that thinking, ratcheting up his fears about what was going on there. On top of that, he had the mystery force in the east still stirring up crap. And now he had rumors and rumblings that maybe there was trouble in the no-man's land between Grid-Face Kingdom and the Tesla Barrier.

The peanuts were holding out. They were doing surprisingly well, in fact. Finn had expected to be fielding panicked calls from their leaders about the flood of humanity hitting them. Instead, he was getting silence. The Baron was ignoring polite inquiries, suggesting that maybe there wasn't a wave of people hitting him after all. So where did they all go? Piotr himself had seen the flood of people heading west. They hadn't gone back east, and they really couldn't go north or they'd be swimming in boiling water. So where'd they go? He had an unpleasant hunch that they were headed south and east, which would put them on a collision course for Lizard Kingdom. And from there, they could get boats and cross the sea into Purple Kingdom. Or they could head south into Laurel Kingdom. Those were all bad options. He needed to get a handle on that fast.

Arriving at Riley's club, Finn instructed his bodyguard to hang out in back, where he'd be out of sight. Heading inside, Finn stood in the doorway a moment, letting his eyes adjust to the dimmer lighting. He was pleased to find the place packed, and the regular bartender back in his spot. His eyes flicked to the stage, where they locked with Pearl's, and he found himself flushing in a little embarrassment. He was here to bang Teri and get her preggers. Even knowing that Pearl _shouldn't_ know about that, he was embarrassed.

Playing it cool, he made his way towards the booths in the back, doing his best to ignore the woman dancing on the stage. No TV out front. He sure hoped things were getting better there. Jake had one thing right. Girls could cause all kinds of friction just because they felt like you insulted them. Finn had figured out fast–with help from Emeraude–that there wasn't a much bigger insult for a girl than, 'no thanks'. Shutting the door on the thumping music in the bar, Finn sat down in the lap-dance booth and waited. Teri was supposed to come down to meet him here, and he was supposed to do the deed.

"You always struck me as the type of man who spent his time in these places," announced Agent Princess. Finn's hands clenched into fists at the sound of Orzsebet's voice. His mind immediately went to the fact that people of all stripes seemed to be constantly threatening those he cared for. He had cut ties with Riley and Teri–for their own good. Mostly, he'd kept that promise to himself. The world's frenetic motion had brought them back into his life once more and gotten him to promise them something more precious than the gold that had once sat in his treehouse home. And here was Orzsebet to possibly take that away.

His eyes lit with menace as he regarded the pretty spy. The Agent Princess grimaced in fear at that ugly look, and a shiver went through her. No, it was silly to think that a year would make that much difference in how he felt about her. Though she hadn't been the one to harm his friends, she was getting a lot of the fallout. As if in acknowledgment of those thoughts, Finn growled, "what do you want, Orzsebet?" Softly, she said, "to give my report..." Striding up to him, she squatted at the edge of the stage, showing off her long, trim legs, encased in dark silk. "You asked me to find out some things for you," she said.

Seemingly unfazed by her sexuality, the big man growled, "I requested intelligence on my adversary, not harassment. You could just as easily have transmitted your report by radio or sent it by courier." Big words. She was fascinated by the way he handled something so simple as language. She'd heard all the stories about what Nadia the Grid Face Princess's nanites had done to his brain. She'd been hearing rumors about other things that those nano-bugs might have done to him. "What I learned was important enough to do this in person," she said by way of response.

Nodding, he said, "alright. Continue." Nothing at all. Not even a hint of anything. She might as well have been a lump of stone–or worse, a piece of shit. "The bandit lords in the east haven't turned away from their ambitions," she said. "There is a mystery-woman uniting them..." Frown deepening, Finn rumbled, "go on..." Reaching out, she stroked one of the minute scars on his right cheek–given to him by the assassin, Mee-Mow. "You should have let Mee-Mow kill her," said Orzsebet. "The world would have been a better place..." She meant Wildberry. Finn's blue eyes burned into her brown eyes, suggesting that this was a topic best left alone.

"The name, Orzsebet," Finn demanded? "I don't have a name," she said. "Yet. They call her the Bandit Princess. She is uniting the lords of the eastern wastes by force and guile. She wants to mount a campaign to conquer the east." "Damn," muttered Finn. He would likely be heading east. Again. Riley and Teri were going to be disappointed. Which brought him right back to where they'd started this unhappy conversation.

"Did you hurt Teri," he asked? It was out of the blue. The way he said it sent a shiver through her. She asked a counter-question, "why do you hate me?" She was daring rather a lot. "Do you remember what we talked about," Finn reminded her? They'd had a long chat the day he'd released her from her imprisonment. In grumpy tones, she replied, "you promised me death. I... why don't you like me? I'm... You like a lot of bad girls..."

His blue eyes never wavered. He wasn't a shy boy anymore, and she _knew_ he was more than capable of carrying out his threat. He would kill her the moment he felt she'd crossed him. No more than that. Glancing away, she said, "I sent her a text... tricked her into going home... She'll be gone for hours." When he was supposed to be helping her conceive a baby. More to the point, he was going east, and he wouldn't be seeing any of his ladies while he was gone. He honestly wanted to slap Orzsebet. As she stood up to go, a better idea occurred to him.

"Stop," Finn growled. Orzsebet stopped right where she was. His eyes scanned her from head to toe. She was of an age with him–a middle aged woman playing games that she should have quit playing a long time ago. "Since you're here, you can entertain me," he growled. The Agent Princess goggled at him. "Did you hear me," Finn demanded? Orzsebet simply stared at him. Flicking the switch on the edge of the stage, the King of Ooo turned on the booth's music system. It was the same thumpin' beat that the system in the bar was playing. Sitting down, Finn told her, "entertain me. Do it now."

The way he spoke suggested that he might kill her on the spot. Shivering in fear, Ozsebet began to dance, twirling and twisting in the ugly formal dress she was wearing. She was jerky and awkward in her fear, but Finn didn't care. She liked to fuck with people. He was going to show her what it was like to be tormented. While she danced, he took out his pecker. She wasn't bad to look at. "Is that it," he demanded? Flushing in shame, the spy reached back and unzipped her dress. "Slowly," he commanded. Blushing to her hair, the princess slowly danced in front of him, while she shed her little black dress.

The King of Ooo said not a word about the knives she was strapped with. He said nothing at all about the recorder. Indeed, he took it and snapped it on. Now he was filming her as he ordered her around, commanding her to bend over and show him her ass. While she twisted and gyrated, the big man jerked his pole. She was down to her bra, panties, and stockings now. She found herself strangely turned on as he shouted at her, demanding that those come off too.

The princess pressed her plump knobs up against either side of the steel stripper-pole. Reaching back, she popped the catch on her bra. "You call that sexy," Finn cat-called. "I thought spies were sexy, Orzsebet. You're just dirty and cunty." Flushing, she cussed him. "Are you entertaining me, or what," he snarled?! Cursing him, she began to dance again, shaking those narrow hips and flashing her tits at him. As he watched and laughed at her, she latched onto the pole and hoisted herself aloft. Dropping the bra, she twirled around the pole, showing off her still-hard body.

Turned on by being ordered about and shouted at, the pretty princess found herself grinding her snatch against the hard surface of the pole as she wondered. Would he? He had the power to tear her literally limb-from-limb. Rumors from the palace suggested he still had the power to slip through time. He could kill her–or do anything else he wanted–and she had no hope of stopping him. It was turning her on because bondage-sex–being taken–was one of her strongest fantasies.

"Show me that ass," he commanded. Orzsebet bent over before him, spreading her long, lean legs. "You getting off, slut," growled the King? Her face went red hot, as she realized he could easily see the damp spot in her panties. "Do you play with it, cunt," he growled?! Her face whipped around. The King's face was red, as he shouted, "play with it! Entertain me!" The humiliated princess did just as he asked. She began to rub her hot pussy, sliding her hand down the front of her panties. Kneeling there on the stage in front of him, she gave him a good show. Finn stroked his pecker in time with her rapidly moving fingers. Just as she was about to get off, he shot off all over her, with some of it splashing her in the face and hair.

"Don't ever fucking play with my people again," he growled, as he threw a handful of coins on the stage. She felt humiliated–like she was no better than the cheap slut she'd lured away. As the Agent Princess stared at him in humiliation, he merely fastened his pants, turned, and walked out the door. Finn strode out of that place, ignoring Pearl's dirty looks and the worried look that Riley shot him. He went right out the door, dialing his bodyguard as he went. His driver was a little surprised to have him back so soon, but Finn was all business. He ordered his bodyguard to get him back to the palace as fast as possible. He had a trip to take.

As the car rolled out, Finn dialed up Teri, finding her at the apartment she shared with Riley. "Sorry I missed you, babe," the wood-nymph burbled. "I got called home..." "I know," Finn said. He outlined what Orzsebet had done. "That fucking bitch," growled the nymph. "I have to go out of town," Finn said. "I'll see the two of you when I get back." "Y-you're not...," she burbled? "Backing out," he replied? "No. A promise is a promise. Take care and watch out for each other..." Back in her apartment Teri flushed. He'd said it when he'd agreed to give her a child. She was a target now. She was making herself a target. She'd had no idea how true that was until tonight.

Returning home, Finn immediately threw himself into preparations to go east. He went to his closet, got out his sword, and lay it on the bed. That got followed by his defense shield and bubble generator. To the pile got added his radio. Then it was time to pack a suitcase. In his new role, choosing clothes to wear had become as important as choosing weapons. While he was at that, Ingrid and Lollipop came in.

"You were supposed to be servicing the two dancing girls," remarked Warrior Princess. Finn flushed–both for what 'servicing' implied and the way Ingrid made 'dancing girl' sound worse than plain old 'stripper'. Continuing to work, he replied, "Orzsebet dropped in to deliver some bad news. Those bad actors near Sakura's kingdom are still at it. They're getting organized." When Finn would have dropped a pile of his clothes into the suitcase, Lollipop pushed him out of the way. "Let her do it," said Ingrid. "You'd arrive looking like a rumpled mess..."

Finn flushed, but he let Ingrid drag him aside as Lollipop went in the closet and fished out the special case she'd bought for his weapons and equipment. Holding up her phone, the Warrior Princess said, "you summoned me..." After admonishing her to take it easy since she'd only just given birth to Arnold, their son. "I'm gonna' be gone," he said, "and I still have loose ends to tie..." "You need me working...," she replied. "Lollipop can be your go-between," he said. "Take it easy. Get good rest." Moving beyond the emotion, she asked, "what needs doing?"

Finn had a list of them. First and foremost was the ongoing problems in Wildberry Kingdom. "Borrow troops from 'Letta," he said. "Get that shut-down. I want anybody who crossed the line put to death. There's no place on Ooo for cannibals." He had been a little slow with that as much out of fear of what he would find as lack of resources. Now it was time to be done with it. "It shall be done, my King," declared Warrior Princess.

Moving on, the King said, "I need work on the castle to move along. Bonnie's stalling the work..." Ingrid rolled her eyes. The gum-person wouldn't have been _her_ choice for First-Minister. "I need the castle and its infrastructure finished," Finn said. "There's a budget for the alien defense. I've made you responsible for it. Hurletta will give you what you need. Shoko is working on a critical piece of it. You'll have to go to Abeiuwa and negotiate for her death-metal to use for fuel." The proud princess clearly didn't understand what that was about, but she nodded anyway.

Finn motioned for Lollipop to come over. When she was within reach, he slipped his arms around both women and drew them close. Kissing Ingrid, he said, "there are forces moving against us. Again. Still. Be careful." To Lollipop, he said, "thanks for taking care of me, baby." Kissing both women, he turned and headed back to his bags. He never looked back, knowing he would find Lollipop crying.

Heading down the back-stairs, he ran into Simone. "Going somewhere," she asked? Blushing, he replied, "was going to call. Trouble in the east. Have Patrick look in on Teri and Riley from time to time. There's trouble brewing..." Simone looked stricken. A little of his irritation showed as he reminded her, "you guys involved them in this..." Calming himself, he gave her a quick peck on the lips, then breezed past her, bound for his car.

Back upstairs, Ingrid turned to her 'legs' and said, "time to get busy. Go get a bag packed for yourself. We'll leave tomorrow morning. No babies. Leave them with the physician." Glaring at the pushy wench, Lollipop grated, "this isn't my first show. Do try and keep up, Ghost-Face..." Ingrid smiled. This could be entertaining.

The two women separated, with Lollipop going back to the quarters she often shared with Cherry–when the gangster girl was home. She wasn't today. Finn wasn't shy about telling his girls to put in work in support of family goals. Cherry was likely pursuing some piece of Finn's grand plan. Sitting down in front of their TV, the former model composed a message for the family doctor, and set it aside. Heading into the bath, she scrubbed the makeup off her face and took a good, long look.

Having become somewhat emotionally attached/dependent, Cherry had been hinting that Lollipop should try the cloning formula. After all, what fun was being immortal _alone_? Lollipop had been resisting the idea. Part of it–a _lot_ of it–was fear. What would Bonnie say? Another piece was fear of the unknown. It felt somehow _wrong_ to do what Cherry was doing. She was clearly tempted. When she was forced to confront strands of gray hair or crows-feet near her eyes, she was more than tempted. She was a _model_! That made her vanity incarnate! She hated the idea of growing old. It was crazy and contradictory, but there it was. Shaking off the doubts and confusion, the slim woman picked up a pair of scissors.

She'd grown out her hair because she'd been busy as fuck during the Lich War. There just hadn't been time to go to a salon for the latest sassy hairstyle. She'd kept the long hair because Finn liked it, and she liked the feel of him running his fingers through it. Unfortunately, it didn't work well with what she was about to do. Taking a thick rope of hair in her hands, the thin woman began cutting. As she worked, she thought a lot about where she was in life. She'd been hinting at Finn about another baby. She wanted a set like Cherry had–a girl and two strapping boys to look after her. Finn had been stonewalling.

She didn't understand why. They were doing a lot of the work, and he loved kids. Cherry had been suggesting she just do it. She had ultimate control. Finn trusted them to be taking the pill. All she had to do was 'slip up' taking the pill, and she'd be a mother for the third time. They weren't getting younger after all. It was very tempting, especially since they'd voted to let Riley and Teri do it. Trouble was, there was still too much going on, and it hardly seemed fair to Strudel who still hadn't had a chance. Knowing that she wasn't solving anything, the slim candy person got in bed, curled up, and went to sleep. They'd be in it come morning.

 **Yup. Lent out for stud-service. The man is whipped. And Orzsebet's been put in her place.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

"Orzsebet knows about you," declared the spy. "She knows what you've been doing out here." Face gone red, the ogress snarled, "you were supposed to be the Firm's new face, Damien! I backed you as a replacement!" The spy's face was focused on her hands. She had smashed several people with those hands. "My eyes are up here," snarled the murderess! The spy flushed. She thought he was looking at her cans! Not that she didn't have big ones, but his mind was focused on the ugly image of those scarred fingers wrapped around his neck. She was notorious for very personally dispatching people who had failed her. "We never expected him to let her out again," Damien muttered. Few who crossed Finn–man or woman–lived for very long.

"Then you better get rid of her," growled the ogress. "Make her disappear!" "She's a sitting Royal," howled the spy! "She has privileges! The _Committee_ controls her fate!" And he was only one member of twenty. Thumping the table with one powerful hand, the ogress replied, "fine! _I'll_ make her disappear." Brushing back his black hair, the spy rumbled, "I'm working on isolating her. Give me time." In an evil, purring voice, the murderess said, "you're running _out_ of time, Damien. I can't have that bitch revealing my organization until I'm ready."

The rogue spy got out of there. Rising, the angry ogress stood and began to pace. Her plan was in play! She was at risk of that buffoon finding out what she was doing before she had everything in place. She had a dozen actions in progress already. If the King of Ooo's dog found them... Alternately pulling at her horns and her hair, the angry woman howled in frustration, fighting the urge to smash things. She'd been doing better about smashing her own property in reaction to reversals, but this was _really_ bad news. She had a really _big_ operation coming up.

 _If I don't move forward, I risk wrecking the operation,_ she thought. She had been working for _months_ under her adversary's nose to get her agents in place. She needed two of the King of Ooo's prisoners. Invading the Candy Palace wasn't for the faint of heart. More to the point, Chelsea was key to the operation. If she found out about this failure, she was a flight-risk. The big woman headed across to the cabinet and pulled out a flask of rice-wine. Slugging down three stiff belts to calm her nerves, the ogress paused to think her way through this. The operation against the palace was seven days out. She'd been looking at ways to insure her foe was away. What better way than to have him chasing _her_?

Back in the Candy Kingdom, several of the ogress's enemies were gathered around the bed of one of their number. The news of what was going on with Maja had finally filtered out to the Ice Queen, and she'd insisted on seeing the madwoman to assess her condition and figure out just what was going on with her strange somnambulant spell-casting. Just now, the sleeping woman was deeply involved in her game. Finn was aboard a speeding airship, traveling east, with Orzsebet at his side. At the moment, he was talking to the pilot.

"She's still in there, somewhere," murmured Cherry, as she watched the pieces move on Maja's Card-Wars mat. 'Little-Maja' was just as obsessed with Finn as actual Maja had been. Simone had told them that the mat was an extension of her will. Based on things Blargetha and Strudel had both told them, Maja had used the mat as a means of predicting the future–at least as it revolved around Finn. Simone might have told her not to bother. The Quicksilver Curse distorted the flow of time around her husband so much that even now, with it mostly burned up, she couldn't even tell you what he planned to _eat_ tomorrow, much less what he was planning to do. Still, Maja's simple mind continued to play this game. "It's the near-term future," said the Minister for Magic. Simone had made a circuit of the room twice now, looking at the game–and its mad master–from every angle.

At Cherry's puzzled look, Simone said, "tomorrow. Maybe the next couple of days. Her talent with reading the future's strong if she's able to see that much. It explains how she was able to actually find the Fire Bleeder." "Is it dangerous," Cherry asked? Drew shivered at the way she said that. Cherry was still the same utterly ruthless woman who'd seized control of the mob. Simone said, "not as dangerous as you're thinking, dear. I don't think we need to take action on this..." Cherry's eyes suggested she thought Simone was dissembling, and she said, "there's a lot of risk here, Simone." Nodding, the Ice Queen said, "why don't you let me deal with the magic, dear?" "Alright," sighed the Mafia Princess. The trio stepped out and locked Maja's door, leaving her to her dreams of madness.

Morning found Bonnibel Bubblegum seated in Finn's place in the council hall going over the day's business with the cabinet. Hurletta had the floor, and she was giving her report on the establishment of the Bank of Ooo. The flood of money from the bandit-lords had paid handsome dividends. Abeiuewa's merchants had finally been paid for the uranium and the weapons they'd supplied. The Grid-Face People had been paid for the two Tesla Barriers, and there was still plenty of money left in the coffers. She could see daylight.

Of course, their curmudgeonly _conscience_ saw problems. Cherry was used to all the ways money got stolen, and she began to quiz the Slime Princess on the security measures that were getting put in place to store and secure the money. It was a turn of events that found the new-minted Treasurer gobbling. Ragnhild came to Hurletta's rescue, pointing out that they'd secured the funds down deep in the old jail in the heart of Bonnie's capitol. The gangster howled laughter. "It's not _my_ people that are the risk, Ragnhild," she laughed! "It's hers!" The Slime Princess sputtered and spluttered in indignation! Things got heated for a moment until Bonnie waved the pair to silence. "Cherry's right," sighed Bonnie. "We won't get far if our own people can steal the treasury out from under us. We need controls on who can touch the money, and how and how much can be distributed. I need a process on my desk tomorrow morning, 'Letta. This won't wait. Until that process is in place and all the people involved are trained and checked, no more disbursements." "As you wish, First Minister," Hurletta grated.

Before they could move to the next item of business, Breakfast stepped through the door, announcing, "Prince Reinaldo of the Muscle Kingdom to speak with the First Minister..." Frowning in puzzlement, Bonnie asked, "did he say what he needed?" "He wanted to speak to Finn," Breakfast replied, "but I told him Finn's out. He asked to speak to you next..." With an irritated sigh, Bonnie said, "alright. Send him." The tasty treat stepped back into the outer room. Moments later, a tall, muscular man of middle years came through the door.

Like most of his people, Reinaldo Alvarez-Vargas was a fitness afficionado and looked as though he had been power-lifting all his life. In point of fact, he looked as if he could still easily press several hundred pounds above his head. His silk suit was tailored to his massive frame, and Bonnie found herself thinking she could easily see this man with a horde of pretty girls around him wherever he went. Of course, men like this were common in the Muscle Kingdom.

As he bowed to the ladies gathered at the table, Bonnie asked the obvious question, "how may we help you, Prince Reinaldo?" Straightening, the big man got right to the point, announcing, "Princess Nieve is missing." That sent a shudder of unease through the gathering at the table. "Missing," asked Betty? "Kidnaped," announced Lord Reinaldo. "My niece was kidnaped." All eyes turned to Cherry, who replied, "unsanctioned. It won't be gangs. This is proscribed by the Cupola." The muscle-man frowned at her. He'd heard that the lord of the underworld frequently attended these meetings. He wasn't quite sure what to make of this, though he would honestly have said he didn't like it. "The ransom note," asked Bonnie?

Shaking himself, the muscle-bound prince turned back to the First-Minister. "It says that they want two-hundred-thousand coins," Reinaldo replied. Two years of the tax-money Finn was expecting to receive from Muscle Kingdom. Muscle Kingdom was in bad shape from both the Lich War and the ugly war with Wildberry. Bonnie doubted they had that kind of money on hand. Confirming her guess, the prince told them, "Princess Yolanda was deposed partially because she squandered the kingdom's funds, and our lands have not recovered from the unfortunate invasion she caused..." They had nothing with which to pay such an outrageous sum.

Steepling her hands before her face, Bonnie thought of her husband and what he would have done. This was their first test. They were the Peace of Ooo. Finn had as much as said it himself. "I will have an investigator on the job this afternoon, Prince Reinaldo," she said. "We'll retrieve your missing niece. Those responsible will be punished." Reinaldo bowed to her. He lay the ransom note on the table, and, bowing once more, he turned and walked out the way he'd come.

When he'd gone, Hurletta said, "it has to be Billy..." Glancing at Ragnhild, Breakfast replied, "why _him_? There's nobody else to send?" Betty reminded her, "Fionna and Star are pregnant, and Ingrid's out on some job that Finn gave her. Thor's patrolling the border with Peanut Kingdom. It's either Patrick or Billy." And Billy was, by far, the better fighter. Anybody dumb enough to kidnap a Royal would likely be able to put up a hell of a fight. More to the point, Finn's first born child was an expert tracker and detective. None of the other kids had the combination of skills he had. Star came closest, but she was out of commission right now.

"Where's he now," asked Bonnie? Blushing, the Froyo Princess said, "he's with Abeiuwa." Learning to be a husband for a woman who was a bit of a mess at the moment. Nobody was particularly happy about that. Abeiuwa had been a mess the whole time Billy had been in the east with his father. She'd barely had their baby, and now they were asking Billy to go again. "I'll tell him," said Ragnhild. "You sure," asked Cherry? "I want to be the one," the Froyo Princess replied. This came with the job of being matriarch of Billy's now-extended family. She had to be the adult in the room when Abeiuwa was a wreck and Noemi was thinking of creeping on them.

Rising, Ragnhild said, "Billy will want to spend his last hours with our kids, so I'd better go tell him now." Leaving her place, the pale princess strode across the room and slipped out. Cherry opined, "she should be encouraged to go to counseling." Bonnie's face whipped around. The little crime boss said, "I'm... I'm going to make an appointment to see someone, Bonnie. We _all_ should. Finn's not the only one with problems." It was a shocking notion, but Betty found she approved. She seconded Cherry's motion. "Alright," said Bonnie. "I'll take it up with Drew."

Meanwhile, Ragnhild got into her limousine, ordering her driver to return to the home she now shared at the edge of town with Billy and her fellow wives. As the car took the twists and turns, the pale princess rehearsed what she was going to say. Abeiuwa was the long pole. Billy had a sense of responsibility every bit as strong as his father's. He was going. She had to get Abeiuwa to accept that. Her co-spouse had become surprisingly _needy_.

They shared space in a converted laboratory at Bonnie's botanical gardens. Billy and Sarah had spent a month renovating the place. The gardens and tree-shrouded walking paths were a balm for Abeiuwa, reminding her of her homeland. She spent _hours_ walking there, and Billy spent as much time as he could with her. Ragnhild was ashamed to admit it, but her husband had stepped back from protecting their world. He'd been spending every waking moment on his three project-wives. That had to stop. Abeiuwa needed counseling before she _smothered_ Billy.

As she'd expected, her husband was walking in the botanical gardens with Abeiuwa. The Jungle Princess was dressed in a gauzy white outfit today instead of one of the fantastical outfits from her homeland. Billy was holding their daughter while he pushed a stroller carrying Simon. Anders was walking at his side, staring in his usual childish excitement at everything around him. The Froyo Princess found herself watching and listening. She didn't often see Billy like this–where he was unguarded and not expecting anybody to be listening to what he said.

"He's doing better," Billy opined. "The tantrums are mostly gone. I was afraid for him. The world isn't nice to boys who grow up with no discipline." Abeiuwa sniffed derisively. Billy laughed at her. The prickly wench glared back at him. She didn't like his independence, but then Ragnhild had gone through that herself. "You were born with an advantage, babe," he said, "and you don't even see it. Your mom and everybody around you was excited and always pushing for you to succeed. If you're a boy, people expect you to get shit done, and they don't really care about your excuses. If you don't, you get shame. Nobody's going to pat Anders on the back if he fails and tell him it's all ok."

Those words shocked even Ragnhild. Had she _really_ been failing her son?! Abeiuwa glared at Billy and demanded, "are you saying I'm a failure?" In spite of the provocation, Billy replied, "I'm saying I want Anders to be as good at running Froyo Kingdom as his mom. Thanks to centuries of princesses, nobody much gives slack to _princes_." Abeiuwa glanced away, and Ragnhild found her heart skipping a beat. She was just as guilty as everyone else. After Simon was born, she'd gone _back to the well_ as it were to have a daughter. She would have cut Anders and Simon out of their birthright without even giving them a chance!

"You don't make this easy," Abeiuwa muttered. Cupping her face in one of his big paws, Billy explained, "my grampa used to say the last easy day was yesterday. I didn't know how true that was until my wife got caught out doing every ugly thing I ever fought against. She killed herself. She killed our family, and she left me holding the bag. There was a time I wanted to swap places. I don't anymore. I have lots of reasons to keep going. They come with names like Anders, Simon, and Adaeze..."

Ragnhild stepped out of the shadows. "Momma," chirped Anders! "Poppa was teaching me about the plants!" Striding up to Billy and Abeiuwa, the Froyo Princess practically snatched Anders off the ground and tried to hug the stuffing out of him. Then she planted a smoking kiss on Billy, somewhat startling him. "Hon, I thought you were at work," said he. "The Muscle Kingdom sent an envoy, honey," Ragnhild replied. "Princess Nieve has been abducted. The Inner Council needs you to go and find her." Billy muttered swear-words under his breath, and Anders burbled, "but why does poppy have to go, mommy?" Abeiuwa opined, "I'd like to know that too."

Ragnhild gave her a dirty look. The Froyo Princess told her son, "when you're a man like poppy, you have to go out and do things to keep your friends and family safe from bad men..." The little boy looked up at his step-dad and asked, "poppy will be ok, won't he?" Billy found himself worried that the little guy had gotten _scarred_ by the whole business with Wildberry's spores. "I sure will," Billy promised as he kissed the little guy on the cheek. Turning to Abeiuwa, he said, "but I have a little time. Let's walk... All of us..."

Late that afternoon, Bill Mertens sat himself down on a southbound train. He was traveling better these days. This was a far cry from the days of sitting on his dad's lap as they rode the train or being in a bucking, broken-down truck as it bounced across the wilderness. It was funny, but he was _respectable_ now. If JJ had walked away from the gangs for good like she'd promised, she'd be here at his side, enjoying the fruits of their labors. His world wasn't always good, but he thought he'd attained a pretty good standing.

As the train rolled out of the station, the big man put his feet out, as he stared out the window, reflecting on what–and _who_ –he'd become. He was his father's strong right hand. He was the man who handled a lot of the ugly business of keeping the peace. And he was coming to accept that. It kept him away from home, when he'd rather have been with his kids, and that had helped him understand his father more too. Finn had already walked this road. He'd been walking it when Billy was hanging onto his mothers' skirts. There were a lot of lessons there, and he was struggling to try and make use of them.

 _Get this done,_ he told himself. His dad put the family out of his mind when he was on the job. He drove hard at the task at hand, got the job done, and that let him get his ass home to his wives and kids. Billy had seen his dad be abrupt with both the ladies of the Mertens household–usually when they called him for something trivial while he was in the middle of running down some peeps who were out of pocket. He made it up to them later, and they'd come to understand it. Billy would just have to make Abeiuwa understand it.

Riding all night, Billy rolled into Muscle Kingdom in the early morning hours, finding a kingdom climbing back to its feet after years of turmoil. The young hero had little time to reflect on that as he climbed out of his little compartment and shouldered his gear. He saw much but noticed very little as he crossed the station to the entry. Like his father, he was becoming more and more focused on the business in front of him as he found less and less time to 'sniff the flowers'. Hostile eyes followed him as he approached the door.

The attack came as the young warrior was in the doorway. Two men slammed the door on his arm, pinning him. A second pair rushed him from behind, one armed with a garrot, the other with a heavy dagger. Billy, who hadn't been in a fix like this since the railyard in the wastes, found an eerie calm swept over him. He needed to live. His kids needed him.

Throwing his free hand up near his face, he blocked the garrot from closing around his neck. The dagger aimed at his spine slashed his coat and met a layer of glacial ice. Billy felt a stinging sensation as the knife skidded off the ice and slashed his rib. The young soldier was aware of screams ringing out as the would-be murderer tried again. Meanwhile one of the men outside had begun sawing at his arm with a foot long blade. Fortunately his conjured ice was keeping the knife at bay. The hero channeled bitter, stinging cold up the wire rope, causing his assailant to let go. Punching through the plate-glass door with a glacial punch-dagger, he gutted the man holding the door shut on his arm. Now the tables turned.

Jerking his arm free, Billy brained the man with the knife, staving in his skull. He went toe-to-toe with the garroter, who'd pulled a knife of his own. Blocking with his ice-covered fist, he crammed the punch-dagger deep up under his opponent's ribs. His final assailant was nowhere to be seen as Billy emerged on the streets. But suddenly there were a dozen anxious guards on hand staring at him.

Hundreds of miles to the north-east, Lollipop got out of a truck and set her booted feet in the lush soil of Wildberry Kingdom. They were meeting with Vizier Banapple to look at some kind of settlement. There were a couple of factions fighting over the succession. Wildberry had no heirs and no relatives. It would be an election of someone new. It helped not at all that there was a Royalist faction wanting to stage a raid on the Candy Kingdom to rescue their former master.

Of course Lollipop had her own problems closer to home. "Are you sure this is the spot," Ingrid asked? Gritting her teeth, Lollipop replied, "this is where Bonnie's navigation beams converge..." Waving the gadget at her nemesis, the former model said, "welcome to the future, ghost-face!" Rolling her eyes, the warrior woman clambered stiffly from the conveyance. She'd never been one for carriage rides. Horses were far more involving. Fionna had suggested she try one of the strange two-wheel contraptions, and she'd been considering it. Stretching, the leggy blonde said, "alright. Let's get this thing done." Lollipop fished the signal flare from the truck and lit it off. Then the waiting began.

Ingrid found herself watching the living sucker as she paced nervously back and forth. Rail thin and round of face, the other woman cut a strange figure. Her honey had an eclectic taste in women. Stopping in the middle of her pacing, Lollipop fixed her 'partner' with a glare and said, "I don't do that, you know." A puzzled Ingrid burbled, "do what?" The candy-woman's face said it all. Ingrid knew the demon and the gum-woman were a thing and had been long years before she was born. Rumor said the plump wizard, Elizabeth, might be carrying on with the sex-machine. Ingrid snorted, "well you have nothing to fear from _me_. I only like men. If I'd my druthers this sharing thing wouldn't be..." Lollipop laughed at her. "But you _don't_ get that choice," she retorted.

Before they could get to bickering, the sounds of movement in the undergrowth brought their bodyguards to full attention. Momentarily, a prissy looking fruit-person came ambling out of the woods. "Hello," he greeted them. "You aren't King Finn's soldiers by chance? We've been desperately hoping you would come!" Before Lollipop could even open her mouth, Ingrid strode forward, declaring, "I am Princess Ingrid, Royal Consort to the King and Lord General of the Privy Council! To whom am I speaking?!" The wrinkled prune chaffed his hands with glee. Perfect.

The Berry-person had a small party of soldiers with him. That raised Lollipop's hackles somewhat, but Ingrid waded right in, declaring, "I wish to speak with Vizier Banapple." The prune bowed before her imperious demeanor, offering, "I'll take you to him..." His eyes flicked to the gathered soldiers. "No more than bodyguards," said the ugly prune. "You understand, yes?" An alarmed Lollipop tried to intervene, but the arrogant wench was already dismissing their soldiers. In short order, there was just the four of them. Lollipop glared at her co-spouse, but Ingrid was already moving on. "Lead on," said she.

Lollipop's irritation turned to worry and then to fear as the Berry-Folk led them deeper into the woods. All afternoon the pair followed their hosts up and down through the trails and back-roads of the fallen kingdom. Hour by hour, minute by minute, they grew further from help. The former model found her mind going to her babies again and again. She had to live. She needed to live for them.

Ingrid might as well have been off on a lark. She was having a grand time, seeing the sights of the forest and enjoying the hike. Which was also grating on Lollipop's nerves. She felt _old_ all over again next to a woman who was physically twenty and in the bloom of youth. A part of her wanted Cherry's fountain of youth now, now, now! Mostly she kept her mouth shut and listened, as Ingrid chatted with their hosts. Most of what the Warrior Princess got was a lot of 'soon' and 'not much further' with the occasional, "the Vizier is anxious to see you..."

The berry people brought them at last to a rough little camp in the wilderness where they found a hundred Berry-Folk working up dinner and caring for weapons. The camp was strangely quiet, and their guide hustled them through, barely acknowledging the questions of his fellows. Lollipop found herself getting a little creeped out, not least because of the strange hunger for meat these folk had. Forcing those thoughts to the back of her mind, the sweet-treat refocused her mind on business. Finn needed a name and face he could trust to deliver the Kingdom to. It was up to Lollipop and Ingrid to find that person.

Their guides delivered them to a small shack and bade them wait. Lollipop immediately set to pacing as she puzzled at what they should do here first. Ingrid sat herself, stretched out those long legs, and began twisting and turning, as if limbering up. The wench always seemed to be doing something like that. Lollipop couldn't help thinking that half the time, she was faking that whole 'warrior' thing. She'd heard the wench showed up to bed once wearing chainmail.

Out of the blue, the blonde asked, "what do you think of our hosts?" In mid-turn, Lollipop answered, "creepy. They're weird, even for Berry-folk." "Says the living sucker," Ingrid chuckled. Lollipop glared at her. "What do you taste like, girl," asked Ingrid? "I hear the pink one tastes like gum..." Rolling her eyes, Lollipop retorted, "I don't actually lick myself, ghost-face. If I could do that, I'd never leave home. Besides, I hardly think you'd care. Unless you've changed your mind." Ingrid spluttered and sputtered at the suggestion.

Lollipop let her. It was a good way to shut her up. It was funny, really. Half of the Royal Wives had a mad on against the other half. Cherry could stand Breakfast not at all, and Lollipop had pretty severe issues with Bonnie, Marceline, and Phoebe for the way they'd treated Finn over the years. It was something she knew they had to work on. Cherry had been saying it for months since the war ended. Unfortunately, Lollipop didn't really have any good ideas for how to fix it. She'd come to peace and even a friendship with Cherry. Their hijinks north of Purple Kingdom had helped, and she'd seen the older woman basically go to the mat doing the right thing. Unfortunately, she had no such common ground with Ingrid.

The berries left them stewing for hours. With little in the way of positive conversation from her companion, Lollipop was up and down through much of it. As she made her fifty-fifth circuit through the doorm, the Warrior-Princess had finally had enough. She wasn't exactly thrilled with their situation either, and, rolling her eyes, Ingrid growled, "cease that!" "It helps me think," retorted the candy-person. "It _annoys_ me," Ingrid responded. "Thinking doesn't require walking." Turning to face her, the pretty ex-model began to cuss her, but before the bickering could get too far, the door opened, revealing their host. "Is there something wrong," he asked? Smoothly, Lollipop replied, "nothing. We were having a discussion. Matters of the Royal Family... Heh-heh."

Nodding sagely, the little prune said, "come along. Our grand council is meeting over supper. They'd like to meet you." He gave them a toothy smile as he said that. Given these people's _habits_ , that smile sort of gave Lollipop the willies. There were two ways to take his suggestion that his friends wanted to 'meet' them. Ingrid simply stepped off as if she scarcely had a care in the world. The pretty candy-person slipped a hand into her pocket and flicked on their locator beacon. With any luck, their guards could get here before anything _unfortunate_ happened.

The encampment was fixated on putting together a meal when the pair emerged from the shack. The sounds of spoons clattering in pots filled the air, and a pungent blend of spices tickled Lollipop's nose, reminding her of the last time Finn had cooked for her. It felt like a lifetime ago. "Finn ever cook for you," she murmured? Ingrid frowned at her in puzzlement. That was hardly the work of a _man_. "Well, you're hardly doing the work of a woman," Lollipop opined. The blonde flushed. "It makes me feel special," Lollipop sighed. Finn hadn't cooked for any of them in literally _years_. The last time he'd made a real dinner was the unhappy gathering before Wildberry's war.

"He never offered," Ingrid murmured. "Well," said Lollipop. "It's something we're all gonna' work on. We're gonna' pry him away from his job and turn him back into the family man he _was_." Ingrid snorted. As if. He was _King_. "King's can cook," Lollipop retorted. Ingrid would have reminded the little idiot that Kings had far better uses for their time than cooking meals when they had a staff of servants on hand, but their host brought them into the circle where the council was sitting.

The Warrior Princess scanned the scene, her keen eyes trying to pick out which of the men present was Banapple. It could have been the fellow on the left. He looked like a giant, _plump_ version of the nasty crab-apples she used to find in her mother's garden. It could have been the shriveled fellow on the right. In the moment, it really didn't matter. Striding to the center of the gathering, she said, "I'm Ingrid, Lord General of the Privy Council. I am sent by the King of Ooo to negotiate a peace with the Berry Folk..."

Their odd little host turned and gave her that odd little grin, saying, "not now... Eat now. Talk later." He cut her off in mid-sentence, and the proud princess glared at him. Lollipop stepped in, saying, "that would be wonderful! My companion's just anxious... you know... to get things straightened out. I'm sure it'll wait a little longer." Tugging on the Warrior-wench's arm, the candy-person led her over to a vacant log. An irritated Ingrid sat herself.

They found themselves mostly let alone, with the Berry-folk going about the business of putting together supper. Lollipop was a little famished herself. After nine months of carrying a baby, she had a little extra weight on her, and Drew had put her on a diet. This was her chance to sneak a little extra! "Extra," howled Ingrid, as she looked the wench up and down?! "Where?!" Primly, Lollipop said, "ladies don't ask other ladies about their weight." Ingrid was getting close to boxing her fellow lady's ears.

Their host came and went, bringing them dishes and inquiring as to how much stew they might like. Lollipop asked for a double portion. Ingrid went along to get along. In short order, their host had handed them a bowl each. The scent was heavenly. Peppers. A little cayenne. It smelled a little like Finn's Hot-Hot Spaghetti and Meatballs. Ingrid put on a wounded look when the ex-model mentioned that. "We're going to have him cook you up something, dear," said Lollipop. "You shouldn't be left out."

So saying, she raised the spoon to her lips. Ingrid huffed in wounded dignity, but she too raised her spoon to blow at the piping hot contents. With the stew as cool as it was going to get, Lollipop opened her mouth to eat, but Ingrid slapped it from her hand, growling, "don't!" At Lollipop's glare of anger, the tall princess murmured, "don't ask me how I know this, but that meat is tainted. That was a humanoid..." Lollipop's jaw came unhinged, and her head was already turning towards their 'hosts' when Ingrid's voice arrested her. "Remain calm," she whispered. "Talk about trivialities..."

Unfortunately, their hosts had already taken notice. "Is something wrong," asked the little prune? Putting on a gracious smile, Ingrid announced, "I'm sorry, but duty is duty. Surely you understand? I should speak to Vizier Banapple before I sit down to dinner. Isn't there any way we can... move things along..." The little creature chuckled. Then he broke into titters. In short order, he was howling laughter. " _I_ am Vizier Banapple," howled the fiend! "You've walked right into my trap!"

In cool tones, Ingrid told him, "we're here to negotiate. There's no need of hostilities. The King of Ooo..." "Delivered tasty morsels to me," howled the fiend! "I've always hungered to taste candy-flesh!" Lollipop, who'd gone a little more green than usual at the knowledge that she'd almost ate somebody's bod, looked up in terror. "Mmm," said the fiend. "We'll cook the skinny one... She's not as plump as I like, but she'll satisfy the hunger. And then we can use the other's hair as bait for the King..." A second cannibal spoke up, offering, "she's a little stringy. We'd have to fatten her."

Ingrid merely smiled back, saying, "I'm sure that's not necessary. If sugar's what you want, we can get you someting... Isn't that right, Lollipop? In fact, why don't we go back and get something right now..." Grabbing the candy-person by the scruff, the leggy blonde tore out of there. The cannibals took off after them, howling to wake the dead.

The blonde ran and ran, and it looked perilously to Lollipop as if she would get run to death. That was a helluva pickle. Get run to death. And eaten. Or just get eaten. "W-wait," puffed the model! " _Wait_!" "You want to get eaten," puffed the Princess? "You can stay, but I'm gone!" "We... *puff* wouldn't... *puff* be in this... *puff*... if you hadn't run off on our... *puff*... soldiers," Lollipop complained. "Less bitching *puff*... more running... *puff*...," Ingrid retorted.

Up and down they ran, traveling more than a mile in the seemingly trackless bush. Ingrid was running like hell, and Lollipop had no idea where the hell she was going. Stopping stock still in the middle of the trail, the pretty model finally said, "I'm not going another step! We need a plan! We can't just run willy-nilly. We'll just run into more of them..." Rolling her eyes in her usual imperious fashion, Ingrid retorted, "I _have_ a plan, sweet-lips. Do you really think I'd just waltz off without any protection?" Striding forward, she pushed her way through a wall of bushes, declaring, "I told our protective detail to follow and camp out downwind. They're right here..." Lollipop followed the annoying bitch through the wall of trees. And there on the other side, the pair found a horrific sight.

They were dead. Every last member of their bodyguard detail was dead. They'd been shot and stabbed-up. The whole of the camp was kicked over, looking like a wrecked ant's nest. "W-what happened," howled Ingrid? "I was going to ask you," Lollipop snapped. They were sooo boned. They were totally screwed now. This was going south fast. Then, as if to add lace to the dress, the sick fucks who wanted to cook them burst onto the scene.

The nasty little prune who led the cannibals announced, "mmmm, I can _taste_ the fear! It's always good when they're scared!" "Well," sighed Ingrid. "I guess we fight." Grabbing one of the spears her dead guards had dropped, she waded right in. As Lollipop goggled, the pretty princess stabbed one of the sick fucks through his wretched, dead heart. As a second cannibal darted in at her, she spun that spear and cracked him in the head with the butt-cap, smashing his skull.

One thing became clear just looking at her, as she twirled and darted, reaping a toll on their enemies. The nasty little customer could fight. Of course Lollipop soon found she had problems of her own, as three of the sickos rushed her at once. With a shout, she leaped back and gave one of them a roundhouse to the jaw, flattening him. Her booted foot cracked the knee of a second, before she kicked the third square in the ribs. "Not bad, sugarlips," said Ingrid, "but we need more permanent answers." Lollipop cussed her, as she went scrabbling for one of the dead men's swords.

The two beauties fought on, back-to-back, selling themselves very dearly, as the cannibals closed in. Thrust-cut-thrust, and Lollipop skewered one of their assailants, driving her sword deep in his gizzard. As he collapsed, a second and third assailant climbed over him, and she lost her sword driving it down through the shoulder of the second. She soon had the third poised to stab her through the heart.

And that was when the arrow slammed into his back, dropping him. Indeed, a swarm of arrows came out of the brush, slamming into one cannibal after another. Ingrid took the opportunity to grab her unlikely partner and make tracks. The cannibals fled the scene as quickly as they'd come, and a pack of heavily armed Berry-folk came out of the forest. One burly specimen announced, "are you well, Princess Ingrid?" As Lollipop frowned in puzzlement at this development, Ingrid replied, "well enough. And you are, sirrah?" "Lord Plantain," he replied. "We met briefly during negotiations over the machine-army." "Well met, Lord Plaintain," Ingrid said, as she shook his hand. Nodding at the carnage around them, the Lord said, "he's down but not out. We should go and talk somewhere safer."

 **The family is really getting in deep now. And their enemies are still in the shadows.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

The bookstore angle was tedious. It seemed to Orzsebet that her predecessor had been obsessed with the appearance of being non-descript scholars. Because book-worms were known to be outrageously physically-fit specimens. Nobody was _ever_ going to notice that the man behind the counter was built like a brick wall. The Agent Princess had been pushing for a change. She preferred fitness clubs, tailor's shops, and social clubs. Those were places that fit men and women spent their time. The Committee had balked at the changes because of the expense, but their leader was all for moving on.

Striding up to the counter, the slender woman announced, "I seek the darkness so I might find the light." At the same time, she flashed the tattoo on her left wrist. The man at the counter replied, "the wisdom you seek is in the stacks..." The Agent Princess strode past the velvet rope and into the special collections in the back of the store. Once out of sight, the spymaster slipped a special key into a hidden door. That door let her into a hidden space at the center of the shop.

There were five in that space. Three were rogues out of Truth Kingdom. Two more were foreigners from the west. Shedding her disguise, Orzsebet announced, "evening, all. I'm here to get your reports. In person." Straightening from the book-forgery he'd been making, the on-site chief agent fixed her with an ugly stare. Orzsebet waited patiently on his answer, though none of them seemed anxious to give one. Coolly, she announced, "I'm your master. I expect to hear your report on the matter you were to investigate..." Chuckling, Jiang responded with, "and why should I care, Orzsebet? Everyone knows you're Finn the Human's plaything..."

The video had gone _viral_. Orzsebet the Agent Princess, dancing in a strip-club while a mystery man shouted orders at her. Said man had proceeded to jerk off and blow his wad on Orzsebet's face before throwing money at her like she was a hooker. It was all over Ooo! It seemed that every dirty little male she encountered had seen the video, and she'd been forced to heavily disguise herself just to conduct business.

And now this.

The Committee was irritated. They were irritated with her for backing the wrong horse during the war, and they were irritated with her for getting the Firm on Finn's shit-list. Now she had one more strike against her, and there were rumblings that she was going to get replaced–the _hard_ way. Orzsebet knew something they didn't. Finn wouldn't allow it. Mad as it seemed, he was _comfortable_ with her in the position she held, and he was unlikely to accept a replacement. In a way, Jiang was right. She had become Finn's dog.

Not that she particularly _enjoyed_ that position.

She certainly didn't enjoy being reminded of her unpleasant position. The Agent Princess chuckled, interrupting her detractor's insults. She chuckled a long time, and she seemed to actually suggest they all share the joke. Striding forward, she lay a hand on his shoulder in friendly fashion. When Jiang began to laugh too, she stabbed him in the crotch. She stabbed him and stabbed him, working her way up until she plunged the knife into his heart. Turning to the others, she hissed, "I may be the King of Ooo's plaything, but I'm still _your_ master. Now. Tell me. Tell me, or tell the the Service Dept. I won't ask again." They began talking then. Nobody wanted to make the acquaintance of her secret assassins.

As the Agent Princess dealt with her recalcitrant subordinates, another ugly confrontation was brewing in the west in the King of Ooo's palace. Bonnie, in her typical authoritarian-busy-body style, had grown impatient with the lack of communication from Billy. Now the young man found himself on the hot-seat, explaining what had been going on in front of his disturbed and horrified wife. Ragnhild had very little idea just what violence was like. Billy–and his predecessor–kept her away from such things. The idea that four men would jump him in the train-station shocked her. Nor was she alone.

Bonnie was all business though. She wanted to know why men from Emerald Kingdom would be so far west. And how were they connected to Nieve's disappearance? She had orders for Billy to dig into records to see when and how those men had come. She also wanted to know more about where Nieve was going and who knew she'd be there. They were as thorough as his father had ever been. With Cherry helping to lead the charge, they dug so deep into his business, it felt to Billy like he was getting one of Dr. P's physicals.

The business continued even after the young man hung up. Cherry, in spite of past promises to the capos was seriously considering digging into this herself, and Nadia was egging her on. Hurletta wanted an international police force that _they_ controlled to help look into these little _problems_. Betty could only think of finding help for Billy. He had no backup right now. He was in pretty serious danger and working all alone in a kingdom that was less than friendly.

"Shut it," Bonnie told Cherry. "This isn't up to you alone. I agreed to let you handle things with Engagement Ring Princess, but this is bigger." She was still a little irritated that Cherry had given away what she saw as an advantage over Marceline's nasty vampire-spawn. Turning to Hurletta, Bonnie said, "it's a little early to pursue power grabs, 'Letta. We'll table that for now." She had peace in the room. That gave her space to think.

Calmly, the pink princess said, "we owe Muscle Kingdom an investigation. A thorough one. At the same time, I don't plan to lose a member of the Royal Family. Princess Ragnhild? I should like you to go north and speak to my son-in-law, Randy...?" "That's excellent, Bonnie," Hurletta squealed! "Nobody'd mess with an elemental!" Cherry rolled her eyes. She already had. Several times. Scrawling a name on a page, she said, "princes make bad detectives, Ragnhild. Here's another name to try. While you're at it, Pedersen is on his honeymoon there now."

Grimly the Froyo Princess nodded. Her private train was sitting on a siding. She could leave in just two hours. She just had to grab her kids. With a grimace as she realized she'd have to deal with Abeiuwa and Noemi, Ragnhild rose to go. She'd been guilty of selling Anders short. She'd planned for a daughter, niece, or cousin to replace her on the throne. She'd had her eyes opened. Now there were honestly moments she wished Anders was already a grown man. He could relieve her of some of her work! Bonnie's son was quietly doing yeoman service, keeping the Candy Kingdom afloat.

The pretty princess rushed home, arriving to find both her cospouses present. She hadn't expected to find Noemi home today. That ratcheted up the risk of trouble. There were rumblings that Noemi was up to her old bad habits. There wasn't proof, and Noemi had been mostly quiet as her pregnancy advanced. Still, there was distrust there and friction between Abeiuwa and the Purple Princess, not least because of Noemi's use of her pheromones on the Jungle Princess months ago. Abeiuwa had come very close to murder that day,and the hard feelings were there still. Billy had enforced peace between them, but it was an uneasy peace, and Noemi's continuing antics of trying to slip around and fuck other men on the side weren't helping.

Ragnhild found the pair feeding their daughters in the garden, with the Jungle Princess opting to do it the old-fashioned way, while Noemi opted for the bottle. It was another source of friction, with both women expressing contempt for each other. Abeiuwa thought Noemi a fool for choosing artificial milk for her child. The Purple Princess, being vain as anything, was far more concerned with keeping her boobies youthfully firm. Age–and its distressing effects on her beauty–was more important than her child. She had _laughed_ at Noemi and Ragnhild both for choosing to risk their bodies on pregnancy and nursing babies. That did little to endear her to either of her cospouses.

Almost as if at her wits' end, Abeiuwa rose immediately to greet the Froyo Princess. "I thought you'd be working," the Jungle Princess opined. "What has you home so early...?" She sounded suspicious. And shouldn't she be? Her first husband, Oreva, had gone off to deal with a small problem for her Kingdom and come back enslaved to Wildberry. He'd turned on her, forced her off the throne, and proceeded to try murdering her. More to the point, with the way she clung to Billy, Abeiuwa was in grave danger of losing herself. Billy was her bulwark against depression and madness, and she was terrified of losing him. Knowing what she was going through, Ragnhild wanted badly to protect her by way of hiding the news from her. _Don't lie,_ she told herself. It would just destroy trust, and trust was what they desperately needed right now.

Taking a deep breath, the Froyo Princess explained, "Billy's run into a little trouble with his investigation. He's doing fine, but we're sending backup, just in case..." Abeiuwa started to swear. In just moments, she was leveling accusations at Ragnhild. Noemi wasn't the only one chaffing under the reality that Billy considered Ragnhild his first priority. Fighting her own irritation, the Froyo Princess calmly replied, "we're acting out of an abundance of caution, dear. I'm going home to round up some of my agents. I'll be back in a couple of days. Billy's laying low until I get back. Ok?" Her eyes searched Abeiuwa's, as she tried to project calm. Choosing her words very carefully, the Jungle Princess softly responded, "he's _our_ husband! Why are we risking his life on Bonnibel's schemes?"

Rolling her eyes, Noemi remarked, "what do you think we _pay_ him for, Abeiuwa? We've paid him and his father both. First with money. Now we pay with _pussy_. His _job_ as a man is to go fight the wars and fix the problems. You're just getting in the way." The Jungle Princess spat curses at her, which made the Purple Princess howl laughter. There was a moment where Ragnhild was terrified it would get to violence. Abeiuwa's hand was on the knife, and this wouldn't be the first time she'd come close to stabbing her rival. Billy had deflected two previous altercations. After the second, he'd made it clear there would be no violence in _their_ home. That admonition seemed to work. Without a word, the Jungle Princess turned and stormed off rather than risk the alternative.

Meanwhile, Lollipop Mertens sat down with her 'partner' over a lunch of meat stew. Their 'rescuers' had laid out a board of savory-smelling stews and soups. "Venison," Ingrid murmured. Lollipop sighed her relief. "Harder than Finn makes it look," she admitted. Ingrid smiled. Yes it was. Their honey made it all seem easy. With a heavy sigh, Lollipop asked, "what's our next move?" With a shrug, the blonde replied, "same as before. We find out who the factions are, figure out who's worth supporting, and try to make contact." They were somewhat better placed now with hosts who weren't aiming to spice the pot with their corpses.

"You handled yourself well," Ingrid opined. "You should be proud." Lollipop flushed, but she gave as good as she got, answering, "you weren't half-bad either..." The proud princess smiled. "So you've known Finn since he was ten," she remarked. Lollipop smiled in fond memory. She'd been fifteen–five years older. Finn had been a jerky little boy until she'd sort of developed affection for him. She'd known Finn thirty years–three quarters of his life. Ingrid sighed, and Lollipop knew she was feeling the sting of jealousy. She didn't have that kind of history with their husband. She'd spent that time in limbo being threatened by Theo.

"Ok," said Lollipop, "you've gone silent. What is it?" "Nothing," Ingrid lied. Lollipop rolled her eyes. "The mystery woman again," she retorted. "Ever think opening up might help you? It helped me." Ingrid frowned at her. "We're in this together," Lollipop insisted. "You're not here scheming for the other side anymore. It's time to figure out how to fit in." The soldier blew out a breath. "I don't know how," she muttered. "I... I never had friends..." Smiling, Lollipop replied, "if an evil gangster and the Dark Lord of the Night-O-Sphere can fit in, what's _your_ excuse..." Ingrid blushed. What indeed? "Ok, sugarlips," she said. "I'm game..."

Back in the east, Finn the King sat in a semi-dark room pouring over Shoko's report. She was making good progress but the amount of death-metal she was projecting to need was excessive. He feared both that Abeiuwa would balk at supplying so much and again that she wouldn't. She could bankrupt his fledgling government if she asked too much money. While she had married Billy, joining her to their family, he feared that the decision was more about saving herself from an ugly scandal at home rather than a real desire to be a part of the Mertens clan. _I need you to get the cost down, Shoko,_ he thought. He wanted to be open with Abeiuwa about what he was doing, but he didn't want to get bent over either. As he worked on his response, knocking on the door announced Orzsebet's return.

He knew it was the spymaster because he'd given orders that he only be disturbed when she came back. Taking his time, the King closed out of his note to Shoko. Then he put Bonnie's radio gadget away. Only then did he call out for his guest to come in. His bodyguard opened the door, admitting the skinny spy-girl. His eyes took in the familiar shape of her as she came striding across the room. Strangely enough, he'd come to _know_ Orzsebet over the years. When she was doing her thing–fucking with people for fun and prizes–she had a way of walking. It was her sexy-spy-girl walk. She wasn't sexy spy-girl today. He could see faint traces of real distress there.

His blue eyes burned into her chocolate brown eyes until she glanced away. Coldly, he demanded, "did you find the name?" "My agents weren't able to get a name," she replied. She still wouldn't look at him. "There are layers of protections around her," said the spymaster. Finn frowned. It was like Cherry–or _Penny_. Rare was the man or woman who really got close to Cherry if she didn't want them too. That had become all the more true when she'd smashed her final two rivals. Marjorie was pushing up daisies, and Sugarlump was out of business. Her life wasn't worth spit right now, and Finn imagined James Plumly's wayward daughter was eking out a living in some distant hell-hole. Honestly he didn't like the idea of a girl selling herself for money, but he didn't give two damns for that little bitch. She'd tried to murder two of his sons. She'd tried to murder his wife. A part of him hoped she suffered for every vile act.

"Her goals," Finn growled? "Power, Your Majesty," the spy replied. Not Finn. Not Finn the Human. Not even Mr. Mertens. That was better. Orzsebet explained, "the wars have cast a lot of small players adrift in a sea of opportunity. They have the chance to take what stood beyond their grasp. She fancies herself a Princess." Finn's fingers toyed idly with Bonnie's radio, and he left her standing there a while in an uncomfortable silence. There had been a time when he was awkward and terrified of leaving a silence like that too long. He'd always rushed to fill the void. Now he knew that often you could learn a lot if you let the other person stew a bit. Finally, he let her off the hook with, "you need to get agents into her organization as you slipped them into mine."

The spy's face went red-hot, and she glared at him. She was halfway afraid that some of her agents were deliberately ignoring her calls and commands. Judging by what she'd encountered today, the Firm was on the brink of rebellion! She was angry enough to shout at him. It took all her will not to do just that. "That wasn't nice what you did," Orzsebet growled. It took a moment. When he realized she meant the video, he laughed at her. It was clear that he either didn't understand the problems he'd caused or, worse, he didn't give a damn. That had to get sorted. He could _ruin_ her!

"It made things more difficult with the Committee...," she muttered. " _Fuck_ the Committee," Finn replied. There was no heat or venom in his words. He wasn't blustering or even particularly angry. He simply didn't count them as important to him. This was _her_ problem. She had to convince him otherwise. "They're the instrument that controls my organization," she reminded him. "They can make business harder than it needs to be. If I'm to accomplish your goals..." Finn nodded, and she thought she'd gotten through to him. She turned to go.

"Orzsebet."

His voice arrested her. The spymaster stood there a moment, and he could tell she was trembling. "Do you fear me," he growled? She took a breath. Then another. Finally she spoke, "yes." He was the one man she couldn't bend to her will. He always had been, and now he was a man with all the power in the world in his hands. She'd spent a lifetime twisting men either using their pricks or using their families as leverage. Finn had made it clear that he wouldn't be terrified or cowed by threats against his people. He'd simply kill you stone dead on the spot and step over the corpse. And woe to the person who actually managed to harm someone he cared for. "You can go," he told her.

Orzsebet stepped back into the hall, still feeling the terror of that moment. He was a man with an army. He had a race of cyborgs doing his bidding–possibly ginning up weapons for him. He had an army of burning elementals at his disposal. And he had the power to slip time itself. She wondered. What did _he_ fear? Why did this matter so much to him? He had enough tame princesses sharing his bed to live comfortably the rest of his natural life. He had a vast kingdom stretching from the burning ice of the north to the southern jungles and an army of heirs waiting in the wings to inherit it. What difference did it make if this idiotic upstart took on airs and decided to declare herself a princess? Of course the door had no answers for her. Muttering curses, she turned and headed back down the hall to her own room.

 **Poor Billy. Dudes trying to kill him at work, and his wives trying to kill each other at home. What's a dude to do?**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

"What are you still doing awake," Bonnie asked? Sarah flushed. She had finished a half-dozen formulations for Finn's 'kelp-to-food' process. They had four varieties of imitation meat, two varieties of imitation veggie dishes and even a dessert. She was _ahead_. Nadia and Simone had been teasing her about 'machine-efficiency'. She really was supposed to be sleeping. She'd been working crazy hours and putting strain on both her mechanical and organic systems.

Except she had insomnia.

 _But androids shouldn't have insomnia,_ she thought. It should be as simple as plugging in, closing out some processes, and grabbing some z's. But something wasn't working, and she'd been ducking the problem for weeks. The food problem had been a convenient excuse for the long nights and reclusive behavior. She'd sort of gotten to have a reputation for wanting to _experience_ other things when Finn was off working. It was typical to find Bonnibel Bubblegum in bed with her double these days and just as typical to find Sarah feeling up Betty or screwing around with Marceline. But in the last few weeks, the tireless android had been suffering a distinct lack of libido. At least it kind of seemed that way on the surface.

Truth? She was just as horny as before. Trouble was, she had hangups. Sarah Mertens was starting to have real issues with touching and being touched. _Even that's not really true, and you know it,_ she thought. It was the hard logic that defined her existence. She could no more hide from it than Finn could hide from his destiny. She had hangups about the very people she loved most touching her intimately, and this woman was no exception.

Settling at her right, Bonnie gave her a good looking over. Sarah turned away. "When was the last time you slept," the Candy Monarch demanded? The android-girl muttered something. "Sarah," growled Bonnie. "I told you before. You weren't built to run in continuous mode like that. You're wearing your parts out prematurely, and I don't have time to build new ones..." As the tall princess lectured her double on the dangers of overwork, the palace security alarms sounded, cutting off the one-sided conversation. In short order, both women were crowding in at the terminal, trying to type on the keyboard at the same time. Knowing that Sarah was far-faster, Bonnie finally gave over in favor of hovering at the android-woman's shoulder.

"Sector 7," Sarah burbled. The prison. Someone was breaking into the VIP jail. As Bonnie's mind conjured all the deadly dangers of that, Sarah rose as if she was going. "No," Bonnie murmured, as her hand caught the android-woman's shoulder. Sarah glared at her. "Sarah, you're a member of our family, the _Royal_ family," Bonnie reminded her. "Your responsibility is _here_ , not recklessly throwing yourself into fights with unknown invaders." The android's face flushed. She knew that. When there was so much work still to be done, she knew very well that it was foolish to be running off to fight an armed invasion. With a sigh, she turned back to the console and initiated lock-down. The invaders were in Sector 7. She could seal the private spaces of the palace and protect their family.

The alarm woke Drew from a fitful sleep where she tried urgently to revive Finn from a nano-machine-induced coma. For several moments, she lay there in a daze, caught between the terror of the dream and the shock of the alarm. Shaking off the fog, the tall doctor rose and rushed to the door of the infirmary wearing a flannel shirt and panties. Gathering up a hidden weapon, she staked out a position where she could 'light-up' anybody coming into her space. Moment by moment, members of the family arrived. Bon and Frenchie. Fionna and Patrick. Cherry in company with Breakfast of all people. There were two missing. Playing a hunch, the lovely doctor handed her weapon to Bon and went straight across the room to the intercom, her lovely butt wig-wagging sensuously.

Seeing her hubby eyeing his stepmom's ass, Frenchie elbowed Bon sharply, causing Fionna to giggle. It was funny to see that her brother was actually a sensual creature. There were times it seemed like he was 'doin' his duty' with Toast-Face. An oblivious Drew keyed the intercom, and momentarily Sarah and Bonnie's voices were coming through. "They're in the VIP prison," Bonnie explained. "Sarah's watching them..." Everyone knew what that meant.

Indeed Sarah was figuratively watching over their shoulders as the invaders made their way through the prison where Ooo's outlaw royalty hung their crowns these days. Plugged into the security system as she was, she could see them from any and every angle, as they took the prison-block by storm. She was aware of Bonnie talking with the rest of their family, but her thoughts were on the bitches down in the prison. Bon had equipped the prison with sleeping gas, which Sarah herself had promptly switched out for something more... _permanent_. She had her finger figuratively on the trigger just now, ready to take care of business. There was only one thing stopping her.

Maja was in there.

Finn had given his word that he would keep the witch alive if she helped them defeat the Dipped. Maja had kept up her end of the bargain, and Finn and Fionna were both bound and determined to hold up Finn's. It would be a devastating blow to both heroes if Maja were killed, even in the breach where Ooo's assorted ne'er-do-wells got the axe too. _I won't let Wildberry get out,_ she thought. If it came down to it, she would take her lumps with Finn and Fionna, but Wildberry would never be allowed to escape her prison. Fortunately, that looked like a fight she wouldn't have to have, as the invaders moved straight past Wildberry's containment room and up the hall.

The enemy was well-organized, armed, and equipped. They came with dart-guns, which was dangerous news when Finn had drastically limited the manufacturing and sale of guns after the undead got put down. There should be no stockpiles of guns in unknown hands. Cherry had direct or indirect control of all the guns that were not in a Royal Arsenal somewhere. More to the point, these men wore armor and carried themselves like soldiers.

So who were they?

The android carefully zoomed in, as her creator watched over her shoulder. "Are those...," Bonnie burbled? Slime people. She shivered in fear, and her eyes flicked to the ventilation grate. Even knowing that Theo was out of business, Bonnie felt a trickle of fear. Slime Guards. Here. Hurletta was supposed to be in therapy. Why would she invade the palace? No answer was forthcoming, though. All the two look-alikes could do was watch as the infiltration team sprayed gas into Blargetha's cell, before dragging her out.

And then they moved on to Maja's room.

The following morning, Blargetha awoke from a horrific dream where Finn cruelly abused her, raping her for Hurletta's amusement before turning her over to his soldiers. She'd come to wakefulness just as the King of Ooo personally dragged her, naked, out into the rain to be dissolved and washed away. Awaking with a start, she did her best to clear the cobwebs from her brain.

Sitting up took two tries with her head pounding and her mouth tasting like week-old coffee and donuts. The room she found herself in was dark but not quite pitch-black, and she could _feel_ a faint rumble of something. _Engines,_ she thought. She was on a vehicle, and she was moving. _A train,_ she wondered? As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she realized she was in a room with walls that curved from floor to ceiling. _Airship,_ she surmised. She was on a Grid-Face Person airship.

The obvious questions were how and who? Princess Nadia was Finn's loyal honey. She'd born him two bastard children. Why would she allow her people to snatch Blargetha out of prison? It didn't make sense? _Unless they maybe don't know who I am,_ she thought. Moving to the door, the slime-person tried the handle, finding the door locked from the outside. She was a prisoner, clearly. She'd been snatched out of Finn's hands by people who might well mean her harm. Her thoughts went back to the phone. Her benefactor might well have been a sham. In her terror at being summarily put to death, she'd latched onto those hopeful messages. It was entirely possible the whole thing was a scam to insure her cooperation. It was even possible Hurletta was behind it all–a pretense for the elder sister to have her killed.

As she pondered what to do, the door was opened. A heavily armed humanoid was on the far side. Blargetha stood there a moment, staring into his hard, implacable face. _At least you'll know,_ she decided. Stepping through, she waited meekly for the guard to step off. Shutting the door, the gruff guard took her by the shoulder and steered her up the hall.

The space was narrow–much more so than the airship she'd been on before. Doors on either side were made of wood and looked much more flimsy than the alloy doors on a Grid-Face Person's ship. Her mind filed away all those little details against the day they might be useful. She could get out of a room with a wooden door. Wood had give to it, and was much less resistant to acid. Getting back to the ground was a bigger problem, of course.

The guard brought her to the head of the hallway. Opening the door there, he shoved her into the room beyond. She found herself in a control booth, roughly twice the size of the room she'd awakened in. She could see out the front windows of the machine. _Zeppelin,_ she thought. No, the Grid-Face people weren't involved here. As the diminutive woman at the helm turned to face her, Blargetha felt a trickle of cold fear. She hadn't seen a wax-person since the so-called 'King of Ooo' swindled Bonnie Bubblegum out of her kingdom. The swindler had met his end in a fire during the Vampire Crisis.

Frowning, the little woman growled, "do you know me?" "No," Blargetha murmured. The lie was apparently convincing enough that the woman troubled herself no further. "My business partner wanted you pulled out of that cell," she said, "for work that suits our purpose." Blargetha kept her expression carefully neutral. This wasn't the rescue she'd hoped for. It sounded perilously like she'd been brought out of the baking pan, only to find she was already in the oven. She'd been prepared to sell her sister out again. She'd been prepared to do any kind of deal it took to keep her skin. _So_ deal _, Blargetha,_ she thought.

"What do you need," the evil genius murmured. "I don't have a kingdom to rule anymore." Lip curling in a sneer, the wax-person replied, "that suits our needs perfectly. We don't need a spoiled little princess-bitch getting airs. What we need is your brain. We need you to... read some ancient texts for us... And maybe try to build some of what's described inside." "Terms," Blargetha burbled? The wax-woman frowned. "What terms are we agreeing to," Blargetha elaborated. Gesturing, she said, "you want weapons. I want freedom. We can come to an agreement." The wax-woman howled laughter.

The stranger laughed and laughed as if her unhappy guest had told the funniest joke in forever. It was a disconcerting response for the fallen princess. Blargetha found herself growing very nervous as her host howled at her. And then the nasty little woman put the knife against her stomach. Blargetha jumped back, but the guards caught her and held her in place. "You don't have to live," said the wax-woman. "We can find somebody else..." "I-I'll do as you say," Blargetha babbled. Nodding, the stranger replied, "I'm sure you will. We'll be landing in two hours. I suggest you make ready."

Back in the Candy Kingdom, the family was gathered in the dining room over a late breakfast discussing the events of the previous night. Even after the invaders had slipped back into the darkness, the family had passed a rather sleepless night in the nursery. Drew was upset about Maja being abducted and disturbed by the second invasion of their home. Sitting there in her underwear, she was balanced on the knife-edge between anger and despair. Bonnie was far more concerned about the possibility that their Treasurer had gone rogue. The Slime Guard had the weapons and training to hit the palace and take Blargetha, and Hurletta had the motivation to launch such a risky gambit.

As the family discussed what to do and how much to tell Finn, Sarah came striding in and tossed a scrap of cloth on the table. "Fake's," she announced. "None of them were slime-folk..." The gathering sat up and took notice. "Emerald-People," the android-woman reported." She'd gotten DNA from the duct they'd used to enter. Bonnie sighed her relief. They wouldn't be at war with Hurletta. With that out of the way, Cherry moved business onward to the weapons the hit team had and Maja's proclivity for 'seeing' Finn's future. That was especially important in light of Sarah's discovery. Hurletta's army was _sanctioned_ to have firearms. There shouldn't be other actors with guns.

"We have a problem," said the Mafia Princess. "All the weapon factories my predecessor had are shut down. Finn shut down the official factories indefinitely. I now think that decision was premature..." Drew frowned at her. That didn't make sense, and she said so. Betty's holographic image volunteered, "in my time, it was common practice for governments to find 'busy-work' for idle weapon builders..." "...because they'll _find_ things to do," Simone murmured.

Bonnie groaned. She'd pushed for that. She'd been _insistent_ that Finn shut them all down because... she was a control freak, and she didn't like the idea of other people having guns. "So someone's paying them," Drew rumbled. "Do we know who's involved?" "I have six men who are known to me who may be involved," said Cherry. "Enough for maybe a small batch," sighed Bonnie. "Those weapons looked too well made for craft work, Cherry..." They had a factory running somewhere with a staff of unemployed gunsmiths.

Decisively, the pretty princess said, "we quash this until we know more. Cherry's on finding this illegal factory. You have a week." Rolling her eyes at the woman's imperious demeanor, Cherry turned to Simone, "how dangerous is Maja's _condition_? Really?" With a sigh, the Ice Queen replied, "marginal. The Quicksilver Curse shields Finn and those near him. She can't see more than maybe an hour into his future." Cherry reminded the Minister for Magic, "you spoke of her using her powers to find the Fire Bleeder. Could someone use her to find the monster again?" Simone took a deep breath, and it was clear this was an angle she hadn't foreseen. She was all but _squirming_. Blowing out that breath, the Grand Master admitted, "it's possible..." Turning to Bonnie, Cherry said, "I think that _trumps_ the guns..." Nodding, Bonnie agreed.

That left them with the most important matter. "So," murmured Phoebe. "Do we tell Hurletta...?" "We have to, Phoebe," Cherry replied. The room erupted, but Boniface quelled the turmoil. "She's right," he said. "Princess Hurletta is a close ally. While I do not believe that Blargetha went of her own accord, the optics look poor. We have to do better." Bonnie nodded. "Ok," she said. "I'll do it..." The business got divided up just like that. With business decided, the family meeting broke up.

Cherry headed out immediately. Fast on her feet for such a little shit, she was halfway down the hall, and Star and Boniface had to catch her. "I don't agree with you going," Star announced. All the moms were supposed to be ending the adventures. Cherry's dark eyes stared into the younger woman's eyes, conveying hidden hopes and fears. Bon opined, "you won't be around to correct your karmic debt if you continue to pursue these risky endeavors..." The fallen attorney glanced away. Calmly, Star declared, "Thor and Patrick will go..." With a sigh, Cherry nodded. She liked that no better. Thor and Patrick had wives and children. Spinning her around, Star reminded her, "you've got three young kids to manage. We can _share_ this risk." "Alright, Star," the gangster murmured. "We'll play your way."

 **Well, Blargetha's finally met her 'rescuers'. Out of the rain and into the rushing river.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

Tom came stepping out of the fire in the altogether–a habit that did absolutely nothing to endear him to Pedersen, who was getting a little tired of the elemental exposing himself to Pedersen's wife. Lina, naturally, thought it was a hoot. She'd joked about the elemental's little-brother, suggesting that it was not quite as _impressive_ as Tom thought it to be. It made little sense at all to Olesia Okonski. Lina was a water-bag. Oh, her body was stuffed with wires and gadgets, and half of her was artificial, but there seemed little point to Olesia in Tom's efforts to show off to someone he couldn't bed. Pretty Billy had suggested that maybe Tom's efforts were directed at _her_ , but that made even less sense. She was a member of the Royal Clan of the Fire Kingdom, and she wasn't interested in a common thief.

"She's not here," Olesia announced, as the thief scanned the room. Tom's face flared up in embarrassment. Nodding at the box of sand on the table, the Royal declared, "get you dressed. Billy will be back soon. He'll want to know what you saw." Drawing on the sand there, the thief fashioned himself a natty suit. It made Olesia giggle, considering that Princess Raghnild had needed to _buy_ Tomas out of a very bad situation with his gambling debts. Striding across the room, she reached out to the street-lamps outside, figuratively watching as pretty Billy came up the street with Pedersen. Likely Lina was out in the woods with her strange conveyance, waiting on them. Billy had been planning to move on today.

The big man had a look of worry on his face, and she found herself wondering about that. Was it something they'd found, or was it _those women_. It was mad on its face that he would be sharing his bed with _three_. It was almost as mad as his father, who was romancing _fourteen_. She couldn't help laughing at the whole situation, and she'd more than once called him a fool. Stepping back from the door, she waited as Billy unlocked it. Moments after it opened, Pedersen squeezed through, and Billy came after.

The look on Billy's face said it all. He was in a foul mood. Tom got right to the point, because Billy wasn't really a _fan_ of his. "There's an unusual quantity of gold and gems there," he said. Billy frowned at him. "I was inside," Tom said. "While you were watching from that roof, I went in." Which Billy had asked him _not_ to do. Billy found himself a little paranoid these days. Somebody, somehow, had known he was coming to the Muscle Kingdom, and they'd decided to do him in. He wasn't taking chances now. It was no secret at all that Finn was allied with the Flame King. More than allied, they were married, with two children. Any enemy worth their salt had to figure that Phoebe would come in on Finn's side when he asked it. Billy had no way of knowing how many people knew about elementals being able to use fires to spy, and he was hesitant to risk that.

 _He's done it,_ thought Billy. _He's already done it, so_ use _it._ "Alright," said the young soldier. "What did you see?" "There's stockpiles of wealth," said Tom. "It's a vault of some kind, but the men guarding it aren't normal bank guards or even soldiers..." "Gangsters," he asked? "Possibly," Tom agreed. "They're definitely rough men. No uniforms. Most of the people aren't purple-folk." "Any Emerald Folk," Pedersen asked? "No," said Tom. Billy grabbed at his hair in frustration. This didn't make sense, and this was why Billy had been considering back-tracking. It felt a lot like the trail had gone cold here.

Princess Nieve had been taken by wagon down to the train-station. She'd been packed onto a train, which had headed east and north, bypassing the Bee Kingdom. They'd followed the train's journey, stop-by-stop, until it led them _here_. This town, in the empty nowhere north of Purple Kingdom, had been the final stop–the literal end of the line. The train had gotten broken up here, with the engine heading west again with a new train.

Billy had spent hours in the railyard with Pedersen, hunting through the cars. Lina had spent a while pouring through the records, using her peculiar powers with machines and electronics. Tom and Olesia had mostly cooled their heels in this little flat. After days of nothing, Pedersen had grown suspicious of the lack of clues, and he'd gone down to the morgue and graveyard, hunting through records and looking for fresh graves that might conceal the body of a Princess. It was an ugly idea, but Tom had supported him and even gone down to help. Still, they'd turned up nothing. No secret graves. No evidence of a murder. Nothing. Nieve had simply _disappeared_.

"There was a room inside, Bill," Tom offered. "Not exactly opulent, but better fitted than the others." "A bedroom," Billy asked? Tom nodded. "Almost a suite," he said. "Inner bedroom. Outer room with tables and chairs." "For greeting people," Billy rumbled. His mind was working on the problem. "She was here," he rumbled. "Where'd she go?" Pedersen turned to their irritating _spy_ and asked, "what else was there? Can you sketch the interior? How much did you see?" Olesia had said that it wasn't very easy for her to look around when she was one with a fire. Her powers and skills were weak compared to Phoebe's, suggesting Tom's were weaker still.

Moving to the table, Tom motioned for somebody to bring him the nub of heavy graphite he typically used for writing. Careful of burning the parchment on the table, he sketched as much as he'd been able to see. Billy suspected that he'd done a lot more than simply 'look through the fire'. As the elemental sketched out room after room, Billy began to suspect he'd gone out through one of the big fires–maybe in the kitchen or something–and prowled around for a while. Half of Billy wanted to pound him into nothing–or freeze him solid. The other half wanted to kiss the elemental's toes because he may well have just gotten them back into the game.

He was being tentative. He knew he was being tentative. He hadn't been able to go full balls-out since he'd gotten _cured_ of Wildberry's toxins. His mind kept going back to his wives and babies. _You need to cure yourself of that too, Bill,_ he thought, because he could just as easily lose his life over his fears as by being reckless. A part of him wondered if his dad felt this way. "There's space enough in here for a wagon," Bill rumbled. "They could literally have rolled a wagon through the gate, put her inside with the door shut, and rolled the wagon back out again with nobody the wiser." Pedersen nodded in agreement.

Face curled in a frown, the Froyo-person asked the obvious, "but where did they take her? They clearly want her alive, or they would have just done her before this." Sitting down, Billy spent a long while staring into space. This was all starting to trouble him. He'd originally thought that she'd been kidnaped for the cash, but no more demands had come–not even instructions for delivering the ransom. Then, when they'd arrived here, and she'd seemingly disappeared, he'd found himself thinking maybe one of her relatives hired out a hit on her, covering his or her tracks with a ransom demand.

"She's not a prisoner," he rumbled. Every face there snapped over to his. "Not completely," Billy rumbled. "She's not being held in a cell. She's got space to entertain..." Voice betraying incredulity, Pedersen burbled, "you're thinking maybe she's in on it...?" "Maybe," Billy said. "This whole thing never seemed plausible to me. She went out completely without guards. To a public health-club. Why?" It didn't make sense for a princess to make herself so vulnerable these days with so much ugliness going on. "To be spirited away," Olesia murmured. "Perhaps to meet an illicit lover." Billy's face snapped up to hers.

The elemental flushed under that scrutiny. Plump and round of face, she'd admitted she was no looker. She had Royal Lineage–she had the Okonski knockers to prove it–but Billy was already a Prince with far prettier ladies. Shaking his head, Pedersen said, "maybe, Olesia. Still, we're buggered right now. We don't have a trail. We don't have anything to go on. This investigation's stuck." With a sigh, Billy said, "I better phone this in..." Bonnie was going to chew him out for his lack of progress.

As Billy steeled himself for the unhappy reaction to his report, another missing Princess was dealing with the unpleasant answer to her fervent wishes for rescue. The Queen of Ooo was back. At least that was how Blargetha thought of her. She had the imperious demeanor–and the ugly, sneering attitude that suggested she'd knife you if you crossed her. She came striding into the slime-woman's cell, looking natty in a dress in golden silk.

The sight instantly made Blargetha prickly. She'd had her own clothes in her cell. She'd had all her finery–the silk dresses and fancy underthings. Finn was a jerk, but he treated his _Royal Guests_ very well–far better than Blargetha would have treated him had their roles been reversed. Just now, the plush princess was wearing a coarse woolen dress that chaffed at her skin and made her cross. She'd been in this room for days, with only the cot in the corner for comfort. That was another ugly part of her new existence, suggesting she really had gone from the pan to the oven.

In her old cell, she'd had a decent bed–queen-sized. She'd eaten good food. She'd had access to books. She'd even had health-care, if you enjoyed Drew Princess's endless poking and prodding. Looking back, the only thing she'd really longed for was freedom, and the only threat she'd lived under was that of her sister getting hands on her and turning the tables. _He wouldn't have let it happen, Blargetha,_ she thought. _Not Finn Mertens. He wouldn't have let Hurletta just murder you. Even the_ Lich _didn't get that. Face it. You didn't trade the frying pan for the fire, you traded the guest-room._

"And how are we doing," asked the evil wax-person? Heels click-clacking on the floor, she paced around Blargetha's work-table. The plump woman had been laboring at this for days. Really, she'd figured out fairly quickly that these books weren't what their owner thought they were. She'd just been stalling as she tried to figure out if she could survive telling the truth. Now, she was out of time.

"These aren't design schematics," Blargetha rumbled. "These are maintenance manuals." Holding up one of the Queen's prize books, Blargetha told her, "if I had a death-rocket, I could use this to keep it running, but it doesn't get into the technical details of the _parts_." The Queen frowned at her. "Kill me or not," Blargetha growled, "I can't use this. I can't." She ticked off the problems that needed solving on her fingers. "I need a fuel," said she. "I need not just the shape of the parts, I need the metallurgy they used. I had to create the materials for my tanks from scratch, but you saw how well that went. If I tried to use muck from the slime-kingdom to make a rocket, it would just burn up."

The nasty little woman stopped in her endless pacing, and Blargetha feared she might well have killed herself. Still, it was better to just get it over with rather than fret herself to death. She couldn't work in these conditions. She'd just be delaying the inevitable. Slapping her hand on the table, the Queen made Blargetha jump. "Ok," she said. "What do you need?" Doing her best to still the terrified tremor in her voice, the slime-princess replied, "I need books on metallurgy. You'd have to steal them maybe from the Grid-Face People... Or possibly the turtles..." "You can't come up with the metal on your own," demanded the Queen? Jaw jutting–she couldn't help peacocking–Blargetha replied, "I can come up with anything I damned well please, madam. I'm a genius. Just ask me. The question is: do you have time for me to do the experiments I'd need to figure it out?" The Queen flushed, telling Blargetha she'd scored a hit.

They stared at each other for a long few minutes, with Blargetha doing her best to still the beating of her newly-developed heart. Her new body was strange in any number of ways, and there were moments like these where these new bits and bobbles Maja had given her brought _enhanced_ terror. She didn't like to hear her heart race like this. "Ok," said the Queen. "I'll see what I can pull together. Keep working with what you've got for now." "I can do some rough schematics," Blargetha allowed. "I think I understand some of the principles from what these contained. I need some deets, though. If you want a rocket that will work the first time, I need details." "You'll have them," growled the wax-person, as she turned and stalked out. Blargetha let out a breath when she'd gone.

Chelsea was still muttering swear words when she walked into her office. The men waiting there shuddered at the sight. She'd had one man killed last week. You never knew when it was coming. She'd be upset about something, and an order would go out to waste somebody. That was the hell of it all. You might _think_ you'd gotten off for something you'd screwed up, but you'd get wasted days or weeks after the fact, as if she was just waiting for a good time to do you in. Fedir Brutko had come to fear her good moods as much as the bad because she was apt to pretend to kindness and lure you closer when she was happy. Unfortunately, the closer you got to her, the nearer you got to death.

"There's someone snooping around the waystation," announced Mr. Petrov, the lead guard. He was lead because he'd managed to hang on through the twists and turns of his master's life. He'd survived all of the double-crosses and dirty deeds, where other men had managed to get dead. Key to his survival was that he always farmed out his work. He was forever calculating which of her hapless henchmen was most in favor at the moment. He would make certain that person was selected for a job when it might likely lead to failure. When the fuckup invariably came, he would be right there to stick in the knife. Fedir had been doing his best to forestall a rise up the ranks. He was still looking for an exit. Finding himself in this office was an unpleasant development.

"Resting-bitch-face is gone," muttered Chelsea. It was half of a question. Fedir himself had bundled the impudent bitch from Muscle Kingdom into the wagon that was taking her east. "She's in Laurel Kingdom," Hogan replied. Fedir knew him as the man who handled transportation. Fedir also knew him as a thief. He'd been skimming–sneaking coin to make an escape. Fedir knew that because he'd been skimming from the skimmer. Hogan wasn't the only man who wanted to escape.

Hogan said, "rumor in the town is that there's a tall, blonde man. Some say he might be human..." Chelsea's face snapped up. Peihong had been certain Finn the Human was in the far east, chasing her. "It's Billy the Human," rumbled Mr. Petrov. He'd been in Muscle Kingdom cleaning up the mess when the four dogs who'd been paid to do the boy-hero got themselves wasted in the train station. "He's this close," demanded the wax-woman? "He's hit a dead end," Hogan replied. "There's no trace of her." There was _one_ trace.

The bag was over Hogan's head before he even realized it. Fedir had seen the two men come in, and he'd kept one eye on them, covering the move with a cough and a reach for the cough-drops he'd been taking for the last week. Hogan struggled, but he might as well have just gone with it. They were tightening the bag's drawstring almost before the bag came to a stop. As the hapless gangster breathed his last into that tight, leather bag, suffocating, Mr. Petrov asked, "what do you want to do? I can send Fedir down to close out the station... before the enemy digs too deep..."

Chelsea was pacing. She was _thinking_. Fedir swallowed hard. This could be his chance to escape. "We have a chance," she said. Mr. Petrov gave her an uneasy frown. A chance at _what_? "Billy the Human's not going to give up," said the wax-woman. "He's like _daddy_. He's not going to turn around until he's got a body." She was talking about murdering a princess. That was a little beyond the pale, and all present grew a little nervous. "We can get rid of him," said Chelsea. "We can feed him information _we_ want and lead him into a trap. We can kill Finn the Human's kid."

Mr. Petrov went very pale. That was actually _worse_. Rumors were circulating about what the King of Ooo had promised to do to anybody who so much as mussed the hair of his precious family. Nevertheless, Petrov offered, "Fedir's familiar with the area. We can have him make the drop." "Not a henchman," growled Chelsea! "I need this done personally. Take Fedir and a couple of others. Maybe Boyd and Riley. They've got the Why-Wolf curse. They can be muscle." Fedir said not a word, though Mr. Petrov looked like he'd shit himself. This was his chance to fail. This was his chance to end up on her shit-list. "Right, boss," he muttered. Motioning for the two murderers to pick up Hogan's corpse, he turned and headed out.

Back in the former Berry Kingdom, Lollipop sat watching her _partner_ as Ingrid talked up their husband's offer. The former model would have had to admit that Ingrid gave a good speech. She was amazingly charismatic and shockingly effective at making good arguments. She had the crowd of Berry-folk eating out of her hand without offering much of anything substantial. Finn would have been well-pleased.

On her side, Lollipop was still a little leery of their 'hosts'. After the first set tried to feed them the bodies of the dead, she had trust issues. Now she always made sure Ingrid ate first. So far, there had been no shenanigans, but the model-turned-fighter kept a knife at hand at all times. This was the fourth group Plantain had introduced them to, so far, and conditions here were much the same as before. The Berry-folk were living _hard_. Starvation was rampant, the dipped having killed much of the wild game in-country.

"When could we expect supply of food," asked the leader of the band hosting them? "We have food waiting on the border," Ingrid replied. "We'd need you to move there..." The gathered councilors burst into complaints. They would be giving up what little territory they had! The Warrior Princess listened calmly to the complaints for several minutes. Then, with a dazzling smile, she said, "there's time to reclaim the land... _later_. Let's focus on getting your people to safety." When a couple of young hot-heads would have argued, Ingrid tutted, "your people's lives need to be first. Let's get them in a place that can be defended... a place where they can be _fed_."

It was the same argument she'd been making to all of these little groups. It was only a little dishonest. She intended to drop these folk in Plantain's lap for him to defend. Finn wasn't providing soldiers. He was providing food and medical supplies. He didn't want the Berries armed, but he was willing to accept it as long as their aggressive energies were _channeled_. Plantain was turning some of the young hotheads into soldiers and using them to police his burgeoning realm. The old Berry Kingdom was a shambles, but there was a hope of reclaiming it.

Lollipop sighed her relief when the gathered elders finally agreed. They'd be headed back to the border now. Even beyond getting out of these creepy woods, she had reasons to be away. She had work to get done, and she wanted to see her kids. As the meeting broke up, the pretty model hung out, waiting on Ingrid. Unfortunately, two of the Berries decided to hang out to harangue the beautiful warrior over one last detail.

"There's another force," said the older of the pair. "They're working out of the dead land..." Lollipop shivered. The dead lands were the ugly, grey _blight_ the Dipped created around Wildberry's capitol. They had scoured the land clean of even _microbes_. The former capitol was more devoid of life than a flippin' _desert_! An uneasy Ingrid nonetheless asked the two men to tell her more. Lollipop groaned. She could already see where this was going! Indeed, Ingrid wasted little time going straight there. Rising from her place, she went immediately to Plantain.

"What do you know about strangers in the dead-land," she asked? "Rumor," rumbled the giant egg-plant. "There's rumors that soldiers came down through the burn and camped in the old capitol. I gave it little credence. There's nothing to eat there, and I could hardly see how they would be feeding themselves." Unless they had help.

Lollipop shivered at the look in Ingrid's eyes. They'd never figured out who killed their bodyguards. Some of the men had been shot with dart-guns. Wildberry's soldiers–the men armed with such weapons–were mostly dead. They'd died either in the run-up to the final battle with the Dipped or in the ugly battle on the last day. This mystery army could well be the men who'd killed their bodyguards. The model's eyes pleaded with the soldier. She didn't want to go to the dead-land. She wanted to get home for a little while. "Lend me a small company," Ingrid announced. "Take these back with you." Lollipop sighed. She'd be going too. They had to stick together in this. Even if she really wanted to punch ghost-face for this.

 **Blargetha dodges death, Ingrid and Lollipop mend fences with the bad berries, and Billy... hesitates. Time to get back on the horse, big boy.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

The ogress stared out at the trackless wastes east of the Emerald Kingdom, her face twisted in a frown. Six men had died over the course of her rough life for the crime of suggesting she smile a little–that she might be prettier if she smiled. The last had been a boyfriend. The men gathered in the room could feel the mood on her. Things weren't right in her world just now, and she was irritated by things she saw as problems. People _died_ when she was in a mood like this.

For her part, the ogress felt unease. Things were going much too fast. Things were slipping out of her grasp. As fast as she was, the world was moving faster. Chelsea was part of the problem. There was a saying. Never trust a wax-hustler. The wax-folk were notorious flim-flam men–and women. They would cheat their moms or sell their own sister. That was bad enough. What was far more dangerous was a wax-hustler with an axe to grind.

She'd needed Chelsea's connections to mount moves against the west. Those connections seemed to be coming with an intolerable risk. Chelsea's obsession with the last two marks her brother swindled was clouding her judgement and dragging the ogress along for the ride. And Finn the Human was becoming more and more active in her backyard. Chelsea had failed to deliver something they could use to deliver a knockout punch, and Finn was moving quickly to destroy her operation. As her mind pondered what else might go wrong, one of her henchmen entered, announcing, "that witch-doctor wants you, boss."

The nervous thugs shuddered in fear. They had all lived in terror of her the last few days. Mercifully, there was no violent outburst. The Bandit Princess went with the runner without a word. Indeed, the ogress seethed with fear that maybe things were going in the ditch already. She couldn't afford to have the gambit with the witch falter. With Chelsea failing to produce an effective way to deliver her poison-bombs and plagues, she needed access to the Fire-Bleeder to have a chance.

Her fears were seemingly confirmed by the fact that the witch was still comatose when she entered the lair of her hired wizard. "Alright," the ogress muttered. "What's the deal?" "This woman is hanging on the edge," said the witchdoctor. "Edge of _what_ ," demanded the evil woman?! "She is at the edge of eternity," the witchdoctor replied. "She's got one foot in Death's realm, but something in the mortal world is holding her here..." Glancing at the dead woman, the witchdoctor remarked, "she's fading. The hold is fading. She's going to cross soon..." The ogress snatched him up by his collar and snarled, "I need that bitch to find my monster! Whatever it is, you fix it, or you'll be crossing over too! Understand?!" He did indeed. Nodding emphatically, he swore to do whatever it took.

Shaking off her rage, the ogress turned and stalked out. She had somewhere else she needed to be. Móguĭ was waiting on her in the hall. "I'm still willing to try," he muttered. She'd been willing to let him until he explained that his _method_ would shred the witch's soul, leaving nothing for a second attempt. If he failed, she'd have nothing. The only other people with the knowledge to find the Firebleeder were far more dangerous. "If he fails," muttered the ogress.

The pair walked out to a heavy wooden wagon already loaded with the ogress's possessions. She had business in the east. Finn was raising trouble, and her agents were getting nervous. She was thinking about more _drastic_ action. Móguĭ wanted to test himself against the man who'd defeated Death. Trouble was his sister was far less certain of the outcome than he was.

The ogress climbed aboard the wagon and took the reins. The battered work-house wagon was a symbol of her ugly past. She hated the thing, but Móguĭ needed it for his magic. Climbing aboard, the evil fiend settled himself. For a long while, nothing got said. When he made no move to open the portal, she demanded, "well?" "You're afraid of him," the fiend rumbled. "I can still help you..." He'd offered to make her mightier several times. His help came with a severe price. Her soul. She'd have to offer her soul as compensation for mortal power. Trouble was, she didn't trust Móguĭ or his master. If she sold them her soul, what urgency did they have to come to her aid? They _won_ if she got killed! "You can help me by taking me to Taían," she muttered. Her half-demon brother let out a bitter chuckle. She trusted her only living relation no more than that. Their mother had been a vile bitch indeed to give birth to the pair of them.

He began to chant. The awful sound had once chilled her to the bone. She'd become comfortable with her half-brother's awful magic. The only thing that still bothered her were the _faces_. As Móguĭ's chanting reached a crescendo, the thin barrier between the mortal world and hell began to fade. The faces came to them. She could remember each of them as if it were yesterday. The young man who'd raped her–his face shredded by the machine she'd pushed him into. The factory manager's horrific burns from the night she'd burned the factory–with him inside.

As she whipped the two horses into motion, newer faces crowded the line in hope of getting at her–the police chief with his shattered skull and his wife with her raw flesh. She'd learned to ignore them. She'd been told they would try luring her off the path and into hell itself. The important thing was to focus on steering her terrified horses.

Those damned souls chased them. They chased the wagon through the outskirts of hell down that road that stank of brimstone and death, chittering in her ears. They wanted her. They wanted to taste her terror. They wanted to drink her agony. Some day they would, but that day was not today. Whipping the horses to more speed, she shut out that awful cacophony and squelched the terror in her heart. Her brother's song began to peter out now, and, when she let herself look up from the road, she found they were in familiar surroundings. Her lair beckoned from the top of a bleak mountain.

She gave the horses a few moments to recover, and then she whipped them on their way once more. Her brother withdrew into himself, sulking at her insult to his pride, though he scarcely knew how close he'd gotten to having her soul at last. The terror had been worse than before. The terror was _still_ there. A voice from somewhere inside, where she feared to look, whispered a dark thought. Finn the Human was coming for her. Arriving at the lair, the angry ogress went straight to her sanctum and shut the door. She was going to drink. She did that when she was going to drink. Men made themselves scarce. She was hell to be around when she was drunk.

Back in the west, the Bandit Princess's erstwhile partner was doing everything to justify her worry. Bill was nodding in and out in the jump seat behind Lina's seat. The cyborg-woman was plugged into the console and multi-tasking just now–surfing around in the matrix while she drove them north and east towards the ruins of Elbonia. It was one of those disconcerting things that tended to drive Pedersen straight up the wall. It was an odd relationship on its face. Leo Pedersen, the straight-laced soldier, hailing from the odd little corner of Ooo called the Frozen Yogurt Kingdom. On the flipside you had pacifistic Elina Yuvchenko, who was more machine than human and completely unashamed of that fact.

Billy had no problems at all with her. He honestly wouldn't have hesitated to bang the shit out of her himself, if she was his lady. She was almost as stacked as her Princess, and she had a lovely personality. Pedersen was a little creeped out that his wife could easily be found rummaging around in a hatch in her leg for some missing gadget that she needed. Tom had been chiseling away at that, and Billy had told him to quit it or risk getting his ass frozen. The elemental was jonesing for the cyborg, which was nuts on its face since he was the untouchable man–made literally of fire–and at risk of burning anything he touched.

As the strange eight-wheeler crept around a curve in the road, bumping and wriggling over ruts and knots of tree-roots in the dirt, the window suddenly shattered, and a speeding dart slammed into Lina's body. Billy was instantly awake as the distant roar of a dart-gun shattered the stillness. The strange machine's brakes immediately slammed full-on, dragging the vehicle to a halt, as Billy dragged the cyborg out of her chair.

Pedersen was at her side immediately, pushing Billy out of the way, but the Ice-Prince shoved him back. He knew what the sight of someone you loved laying on the ground did to you, and he needed Pedersen to keep his wits. "Talk t'me, Lina," Billy growled! The pretty woman burbled something unintelligible. Unfortunately, he didn't speak Russian. In spite of the steel dart jammed into the spot where her heart should be, she wasn't bleeding, at least not much. That was something. More darts were starting to hit the truck. It was pretty heavily built, but Billy feared it wasn't _that_ heavily built. If they lost the tires, they might well be screwed. Focusing his mind on the outside, he conjured walls of ice from the cool air.

In the mean-time, he took hold of the dart, sending a preternatural chill down through it, freezing the surface in a layer of glacial ice to stabilize it. And then he pulled. Pedersen was at the front window now, crouched behind the control console, rifle in hand. "A dozen of them," he said. "Maybe bandits." Bill turned to Tomas and Olesia. "On it," said the princess. Shrugging off the asbestos blanket she wore in Lady Lina's conveyance, the elemental woman stepped up under the roof hatch. Pedersen clacked the control to cycle it open, and then Olesia was gone. Shaking his head, Tom headed for the side door–to go out the hard way.

Olesia soared up high over the trees to get visibility. She couldn't stay aloft for long–she wasn't the Flame King–and she focused on finding where the gunfire was coming from. Flashes of light and terrifying bangs announced the locations of the gunmen. Alighting in a rush in the midst of three of them, the elemental woman fried the first man she saw. She had to be careful. She had to be careful about burning the forest. There were live flesh-creatures here.

One man ran immediately. A second leveled his rifle and let fly, striking her square in the chest. The surprised woman stared down at it as it slowly grew hotter and hotter. It sort of tickled. Two more men made haste to disappear as Olesia felled the man who'd shot her. They ran straight into Tomas, who made quick work of them with a bolt of fire. "Be careful, you idiot," shouted Olesia! "You'll burn the forest!"

Behind the vehicle, Billy stepped out as a pack of men came slipping through the forest to hit them from behind. Eyes blazing with a cold fire, the big man laid into them, chilling the air down to a near-liquid state and suffocating the four of them. Pedersen entered the fray from the roof-hatch wasting two men who'd been coming up from Billy's right. "Thanks," Billy offered. Silence reigned once more. The big man returned to the interior of the vehicle to find Lina sitting on one of the couches with her jumpsuit hanging open. "Thanks for getting that spike out of my solid-state storage unit," she offered. Averting his eyes from her knockers, the young man replied, "no prob, bob." Pedersen looked torn between being disturbed by the bits of wiring hanging out of her chest, and gratitude that she didn't seem badly hurt. Billy shoved him towards her before going back outside.

As he arrived outside, Olesia and Tom strolled up. Upon peeping the dart sticking out of Olesia's chest, Bill opined, "ok, that's creepy." She gave him an embarrassed grin. It was stubbornly hard, and she hadn't been able to melt it. It was no longer tickling. It was actually becoming unpleasant. With a sigh, Billy went into Lina's toolbox and grabbed a set of tongs. Tossing them to Tom, he said, "get that out, while we chat. If I do it, it'll hurt." Taking the tongs, the thief began wrestling with the bolt protruding from the plump girl's chest, while Billy quizzed them on what they'd seen.

The dudes that had ambushed them were pretty thoroughly slagged. There weren't even pockets to loot, just ash. Billy turned and headed back along the road to the men he'd killed himself. He found them laying there in the woods, eyes wide and staring. As he squatted for a closer look, he felt rather than saw Olesia come up. "Go back," he said. "You don't need to see this, princess." Honestly, he liked the plump girl. She was brave and plucky–a lot like his stepmom–but he wouldn't have wanted anybody to see what a corpse looked like. Moving past his own revulsion, the big man started rifling pockets.

The men were dudes out of Emerald Kingdom, suggesting that there was a connection with the men who'd jumped him in Muscle Kingdom and possibly suggesting maybe there was a connection to the guys who'd snatched Blargetha and Maja. He was really starting to think that maybe Princess Aysun was up to something. She'd tried to rebel in open council, suggesting she'd go it alone. His dad had squashed that, but it didn't mean she wasn't still trying. Aysun had been friendly with Yolanda the Muscle Princess and on the outs with Alexia the Laurel Princess. It was quite possible that maybe she'd lured the current princess to come to her kingdom. Or maybe Nieve was playing the same game as her aunt.

After emptying the pockets of the dead men, the big man gathered up their rifles and turned to rejoin his crew, finding Tom standing there at the stairs to Lina's vehicle. "What now," asked the thief? Billy replied, "I think we're going to Emerald Kingdom." "Better than a place where I can't touch anything," the thief said, as he turned to go back inside. "Tom," Bill rumbled. "Yeah, boss," the thief replied. "Lay off Leo and Lina," Bill rumbled. Nodding, the thief said, "yeah. Will do." They found Pedersen sitting on the couch, holding a seemingly irritated Lina on his lap. Billy gave her a smile, as he headed up to the control console. As Olesia and Tom put their asbestos blankets back on, the big man shut the hatches and put the vehicle back in motion.

Out in the forest, a couple of puzzled faces turned to their boss. "Ok," said the werewolf on the left, "we jump these stiffs with a bunch of dudes who didn't stand a chance... Why?" Petrov replied, "because I don't have a wizard in Purple Kingdom, dummy. If we jumped them ourselves, we'd get slagged by those two elementals, and that's before popsicle-boy gets into the act. I have two wizards waiting in Emerald Kingdom to jump these stiffs. We have the prince in our pocket. We can jump them in the old tunnels where we have all the advantages. We just need to get them there." It was important that the trail not look like a trail. This ambush–with just enough of a clue to send them to Emerald Kingdom–fit the bill.

In the far east, the King of Ooo sat in a car outside a raucous casino and public house. The town was the fifth place they'd been told to go, and it was clear that somebody, somewhere, was playing with him. He wanted to be back home–looking for Maja. He wanted to be with his family. And yet he was here in this fucking place. It made him prickly, and he'd been short with Orzsebet rather a lot the last few days.

"I don't agree with this," rumbled Orzsebet. Which she'd said twice now, and which Sybil had spent half the night telling him. He was loopy and bleary-eyed from lack of sleep. His body still thought he was in the west in Bonnie's place, and Sybil's efforts at harassing the shit out of him had done little to help that. "I've fucking heard it," he muttered. She grunted something irritated. She wasn't saying it for his health. He knew she was very much afraid of his family. Six wizards, a Fire Elemental, and the King of Vampires were all waiting to make her life a living hell if anything happened to him. That said nothing of the host of princesses who would make her unwelcome in any and every kingdom. And, if that wasn't enough, the Committee would have the space they needed to simply make her disappear. Damien would get his wish to be Prince of Spies.

Angrily, she growled, "ok, let's do this." She popped open the door and climbed out from behind the wheel. Finn waited nary a moment before following. It wasn't sexy-spy-girl today. It was angry, hostile, vindictive bitch mode, and it was actually kind of a refreshing change for him–a lot like when Nadia dropped the act and quit pretending to be sweet and innocent. Indeed, Orzsebet was all business, as she went striding up the street towards the entry. Finn fell in at her back. "Walking normally," he rumbled. Her face whipped around. "You try too hard," he said. "You don't have a big butt, so you should just walk normally." She didn't have much to wiggle. Her jaw came open, and her face went red hot. Then, coldly, she said, "we're working." Finn nodded. Indeed.

The skinny spy-girl gave the doorman a winning smile, declaring, "my companion and I are in town with a little time on our hands. We'd like to play..." The bouncer gestured for them to go on into the casino, but he insisted on checking them out for weapons. The spy-girl opened her purse to them, showing the usual collection of feminine junk. The bouncer and his buddy flicked a heavy magnet over her front and around her legs, finding nothing. Finn got a full pat-down, with both men getting more friendly with him than some of his old girlfriends.

Shaking his head and muttering curses, the big man followed his spymaster into the casino. He found his mind going back to the day they'd met. It was a place like this, and he was a young, naive kid. He'd lost a pile of cash that day and then some. He'd taken it in stride as a lesson well-learned and never gone in again. Orzsebet had gotten very pissed. She'd wanted to burn the place to the ground, customers or not. "Remember that mob casino east of the Grey Forest," he murmured. The spy-girl stopped in mid-stride, her back going stiff.

Finn put a hand to her shoulder. "You learned a lesson, though," he reminded her. "Yeah," she growled. "I learned that Finn the Human is a fucking serial party-pooper." "You need to find better parties," he teased. Her face snapped over to his. "I'm a spy," she said. "I'm usually working." "Girls've been telling me to quit it," he said. "You should do the same. Take a vacation." Without another word, he stepped off.

Falling in at his side, the nasty witch said, "last table on the end. Over there near the corner..." Finn steered for the mentioned table. "Our quarry's in the back," she said. "She's been here for days, or so I'm told." "How do we meet up with her," he asked? With a shrug, the spy said, "we cheat." He barely reacted. That was good. "She has cheaters personally dragged before her," said Orzsebet. "She... _disciplines_ them. It's worth your life to get taken into the back." Finn smiled. They could _try_.

Settling at the table, the pretty lady called for the chips, and purchased an ample supply. With Finn at her side, they began playing. The name of the game was Pharaoh, the same game that Finn had lost his shirt on so many years ago. Bonnie had admonished him for even going into the casino in the first place, lecturing him a long hour about odds-making and how the house 'always won'. That was the lesson he'd taken home with him. As with most things that came out of Bonnibel Bubblegum's mouth, Finn hadn't understood anything of what she was saying, but he'd figured out just what she meant when she said 'the house always won'. It was like playing a game of Card Wars with Jake. Why would they let you take their money?

Now, with his newly enhanced brain, he understood immediately what he hadn't understood then. The house had any number of ways to win. They could cheat you with rigged cards. They could cheat you with a well-trained dealer's fast hands. They didn't, in reality, even have to cheat you at all. The odds were, as Bonnie had said, already in their favor. It was a lot like life. Maybe Sybil was right. Maybe he was going about this the wrong way. It felt right to be out here getting shit done, but he was risking everything he had on what might be a nothing.

He'd intended to wait on Orzsebet to pull her move and just follow her play. As he watched his companion place her opening bets, his eyes wandered, and that was how he spotted the cheat. It was the same thing she'd bitched about in that casino so many years ago. She'd lost a purseful of money, and she'd sworn the dealer was pulling cards out of his sleeve. Young Finn had no way of knowing if it was true or not. He'd been far more concerned with her burning the casino down while it was still occupied. Now, as Finn watched, their dealer did exactly the thing that Orzsebet had suspected back then.

Maybe he wouldn't have noticed it without the aid of the Quicksilver curse or maybe it was the nano-whatsits in his brain. He saw, with stark clarity, the dealer slip a card out of his sleeve and place it face up on the table. "Bank wins," announced the dealer. "You cheated," Finn blurted. As the man stared at him in shock, the King of Ooo calmly grabbed his arm with one hand and tore the sleeve off his jacket with the other, exposing a mechanical gadget that would have made Bonnie proud.

And that was when the guards came.

Three guards clamped their arms on Finn. Two took hold of Orzsebet. The King put on a little bit of a show of struggling, but this was where he wanted to go, so mostly he went along. Step by step, they got dragged towards the corner, where a door now hung open, letting out into a dark abyss that seemed almost to eat the light. The minute they were dragged inside, that door slammed shut with a finality that even gave the Hero of Ooo a shudder.

The guards spoke not a word, even as they frog-marched the King and his lovely companion down that darkened hallway. Finn got the impression of black stone walls, and he knew he was in a cavern. Things could go very sideways right now. These guys were the kind of pissed that reminded him of Cherry's guys when you'd stepped out of the box. As the thugs dragged the pair further and further from escape, the big man did the calculation and then did it again. How deep was too deep? When did they throw down? He didn't want to miss their chance to get at the Bandit Princess, but he didn't want to check out here either. Still, as the guards kept right on going, moving past one room after another, the big man held his peace, praying the Orzsebet would trust him enough to keep going. One thing stood out in his mind, though. The girls would be really pissed when they found out about this latest adventure.

 **Well, his hands are dirty. The girls are NOT going to be happy. And Billy? He's walking into another trap.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

"You're the famous Finn the Human," murmured a soft female voice. The figure sat deep in shadow, while Finn and his irritating companion stood under bright lights. "I'm the King of Ooo," Finn responded. "I don't meet Royals often," the stranger rumbled. "You pick a strange way to gain audience..." Folding his arms in front of him, he said, "I didn't want to meet this way, but you're a hard person to get hold of." "You want to talk," his adversary murmured, "is that it?" "I wanted to give you the chance to change course," Finn replied.

The figure said nothing. Finn took the opening. "War is an ugly way to solve problems," he said. "But are we solving a _problem_ ," the stranger asked? "I'm advancing myself in the way that lies open. The only problem I see is a man from the far side of the world getting in the way." Nodding in acknowledgment of that, Finn replied, "I'm a man with great power, but I'm also reasonable. I understand your ambitions. I'd be willing to cut a deal..." The figure laughed. In cold tones, she responded, "how would I even trust you? You've done nothing to earn my respect..." Finn replied, "I'd be happy to make what gestures are needed to earn trust."

The dark figure paused for a moment. Finn waited with baited breath, doing his best to show no emotion. After a wait that seemed to go forever, the stranger finally spoke. "Alright," said she. "As a gesture, I wish you to sell me your companion. Finn the Human is known to only sleep with the most beautiful women. Sell me your companion. She'd fetch a good price..." With a shrug, Finn replied, "sure. Not sure you'd get much. She's no spring-chicken. Kind of well-used too, if you take my meaning..." Orzsebet's face whipped around, but Finn actually grabbed her by the ass and shoved her forward.

One of the guard's grabbed the Agent Princess by her hair and dragged her to the figure in the shadows. Their host growled, "you're right. Nobody's going to buy this dried-out old cunt. Kill her!" The guard pulled Agent Princess's head back, drawing a massive dagger as he did so. Orzsebet produced a knife made of obsidian wrapped in heavy cord and slashed his face, throat, and neck. With every face focused on her, Finn was easily able to kill the two guards near him with the grass sword.

Time slowed down for Orzsebet in that moment. At least it seemed that way. Two men she hadn't even _seen_ in the shadows of the room stepped forward, leveling guns. Finn literally dodged through that deadly hail of gunfire, twisting and turning, even as he strode forward. _The_ curse _,_ she thought, even as Finn hurled the heavy desk their host sat behind at the two gunmen with an almost negligent flick of the wrist. One man died, his head and chest crushed. The other lay his gun in line with Orzsebet's face and let fly. She had a moment to scream in terror. Then she was looking up from the floor as Finn hurled her dagger with the force of a speeding truck, skewering the second gunman right between the eyes.

Finn huffed and puffed like an old man for several moments before turning to glare at her. "You going to just lay there," he puffed? The stunned spy-girl climbed to her feet. Their _host_ lay sprawled on the floor. "A dummy," Orzsebet spat. Glancing at him, she demanded, "when did you?" "Spy 101," Finn retorted. "Real people _move_ when they talk. They can't help it. They gesture to emphasize points." She knew that. Her face flushed as she realized that this man had kept his cool when she was losing hers.

Finn was already moving on. The commotion of the fight would soon be drawing more enemies. He passed one of the rifles to his companion and headed for the door. Almost as soon as he stepped into the hall, a dart clipped his hat. Finn returned fire, wasting the thug. Orzsebet covered his back as they made their way back the way they'd come. A man stepped out behind them, and she quickly shot him. More men arrived, drawn by the commotion, coming in ahead and behind. The spy-girl, clipped one after another until her gun ran dry. Finn ended up handing her his gun in favor of powers he hadn't tried since the last time E attempted to teach him magic.

As a fifth man came at him, the King of Ooo reached down deep inside himself and projected a forcefield that hurled the hapless humanoid into the ceiling. The King promptly chopped him in half, accidentally cutting his gun in two. Agent Princess howled, "I could've used that!" "Sorry," Finn muttered as he slaughtered another man. He was in his groove, though. This was what he did. He would just let himself go, functioning on instinct.

Step by step, the dynamic duo tore through the patsies in the darkened recesses of the casino. There seemed to be an endless array of them. Lizardfolk and blond giants out of Warrior Kingdom. Truth-Kingdom people and even a fat berry-person. The King and his Spymaster cut their way through them all, finally reaching the door through which they'd entered earlier. One of Sybil's fast-growing demon-seeds shattered the lock, and then they were through. _Home stretch,_ thought Finn.

On the far side, the casino floor was empty. Finn was hardly surprised. You couldn't have missed the sounds of mayhem coming literally through the walls as he'd blasted, stabbed, and shot his way up the halls in the back. Of course, this was the tough part. "Stay close," the King of Ooo snapped. "Here's where it gets nasty." Orzsebet was only thinking of the run out to the door and freedom. Finn was thinking that this was where he would have ambushed somebody raising hell in his place. The casino floor was open, and there were balconies above where you could get a shot off without risk of getting the grass-sword crammed in your belly.

It was a lot like fighting the aliens with E at his side. As the first of the thugs opened fire from across the room, Finn, grabbed Orzsebet by her skinny waist, did a neat pirouette to dodge the incoming darts, and dropped the spy-girl on her feet again in a position to slag the dude. If she was surprised at all by that move, the Agent Princess scarcely missed at beat, as she plugged dude between the eyes. The pair fell into a rhythm then. With Finn's speed and Orzsebet's skill with weapons, they made quick work of their foes.

The big man tossed her into the air, taking her out of the line of fire of a half-dozen dudes, as they rained death around him. Spinning in mid-air, she shot three of them before he caught her again. The King twirled her around his chest, and she shot the men behind them over his shoulder. Over and over the big man twirled and spun the slinky spy-girl, as she put the hurt on their enemies. They were halfway across the room now. As Finn considered the risks of just rushing the door another threat appeared–this time holding a bomb. Slinging the Lady of Spies under his left arm, the big man lashed out with the grass-sword, snatching up a table and literally catching the blast with that.

Now, as the burning fragments set the ornate, lacquered floor alight, the King of Ooo decided it was time to make tracks. He took the trip to the door in one big rush that left him a little breathless and dizzy. Outside, he let the spy-girl down, and the pair made a run for it. They didn't stop until they were over a block away.

The big man leaned heavily against a parked car, huffing and puffing. Critically, Orzsebet opined, "you need to maybe get some real exercise. Fucking doesn't take the place of cardio." He flipped her off, as he turned to look at the mess they'd left behind. The casino was fully engulfed now, the floor having gone up like kindling. You could see the fire from here. The Red Queen social club was burning. Money was burning.

"Would you have really sold me," Orzsebet burbled? "Yeah," said Finn. "You would have cut your way out of there." She laughed. Yes, she would have. Turning to face him, she said, "what now?" With an eloquent shrug, Finn replied, "we keep looking." Looking down at his now-ruined suit, he muttered, "the girls are gonna' kill me when they see this suit." Turning to go, Orzsebet snorted, "my people can have that replaced in a day." Narrow hips wig-wagging, the spy-girl headed off to their car. Over her shoulder, she tossed out, " _coming_ , hero?" Smirking and shaking his head in amusement, the King of Ooo followed that wiggling little ass back toward their car.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Noemi the Purple Princess woke up from a deep sleep to the sound of her child crying. Rising, she gathered on a robe and went out into the common room of the suite shared, looking for the maid. She was still hunting and trying to shush the child when she remembered Billy's nasty little sister firing her maid because she was _compromised_. Muttering curses, the curvy princess went into the kitchen and rummaged for a bottle. She didn't even notice Abeiuwa until the latter started laughing at her.

As a flustered Purple Princess stared, the Jungle Princess took Fabiana from her and, opening her own robe, settled the baby at her left breast. The plump princess glanced down at the floor. "It's natural," said Abeiuwa. "You should try it..." "May not have a choice," Noemi blurted. She had been a hot mess all day–basically since Star showed up with a dozen guards and hauled her maid away. Sitting down, the stacked princess asked her rival, "what're you doing up? Why are you here sitting in the dark like this?"

Really, she knew the answer. Abeiuwa had been something of a mess since Billy got on that train. While Ragnhild was quietly _coping_ with the pain of separation and the anxiety and fear of what was happening to their husband, Abeiuwa was slowly falling apart. Noemi tried flattery. As long as she'd known the Jungle Princess, the key to Abeiuwa's heart was through her ego. "This isn't like you," Noemi offered. The tall warrior glanced up sharply. Her eyes were haunted.

"You have to get yourself together, Abeiuwa," said the Purple Princess. "What would you know," growled the warrior-woman? She almost stormed off. Likely she would have if Fabiana hadn't been attached to her left knocker. Flustered, she glanced away. She wouldn't be running off for a number of minutes–not with somebody else's child in tow. She sat there a few moments, staring around her, doing anything she could not to look at her rival. "Look at me, Abeiuwa," Noemi murmured. "For the love of glob. Look. At. Me." Finally the tall princess turned to face her.

"You can't keep doing this," Noemi insisted. "What would you know," Abeiuwa snapped?! Breaking into sobs, the tall woman muttered, "you don't know what this is like..." Noemi stopped herself from rolling her eyes. That was an ingrained habit. She was sarcastic and even caustic to everyone around her, even to women who were trying to be friends and a man who, against all odds, was becoming the husband she _needed_.

"You have to grow up, Abeiuwa," Noemi said. "I did." The Jungle Princess turned to stare at her. Letting out a long, unhappy sigh, Noemi said, "I spent my life whoring around Abeiuwa... In the casino of life, I was born with all the chips, and I... I _squandered_ them. I fucked my way through boyfriends and other women's husbands. When my friends were settling down, I was trying their husbands behind their backs. I could get away with it because I was princess. Then I got older and found out I wasn't the belle of the ball anymore. Men were happy to take me to bed, but they didn't stay longer than a week. I lucked out when they asked me to help them cure young William. I found a young man I thought I could _take_ , but he... he ended up saving me from my own wretched life."

Abeiuwa stared, as her irritating sister-wife explained, "William turned out to be my last chance. Even without my... _hold_ on him, he was kind and respectful... For men my age, I was just a pump-and-dump. I mean... you can't turn a _whore_ into a _wife_. Most men his age would have treated me as a starter-girlfriend and dumped me when something better came along. There's nothing sadder than an elderly whore, Abeiuwa. I had to change myself or lose him. Now _you_ have to change too..."

Looking the Jungle Princess square in the eye, the Purple Princess declared, "decide, Abeiuwa. Do you want respect? Do you want to be a woman of influence or do you want to wimpy back to your lair and hide your face? That's your choice. You got greedy, and you got handed a shit-sandwich. You're ashamed of how your choices wrecked your life. I think any of us would feel what you feel in your place. I've felt it plenty of times when I stood looking in the mirror at the smile-lines or when I saw a former friend of mine with her new hubby and their new baby.

"Your pride's wounded, and you're having trouble facing _yourself_. But the world's moving, Abeiuwa. It won't wait on you to pull yourself together. It'll take your kingdom and every last shred of pride you have left in you. It'll grind down whatever ego and whatever soul remains. You have the choice to be a part of the world–our shared world–or be ground up and forgotten. That's your choice. William can't make it for you. None of us can."

Rising, the busty princess took back her child and headed back to her room. There was work to get done–work that had piled up while she was laid up–and she'd have to get a new maid if she wanted to have time to do it. The world was _moving_ , and there were plenty of terrors out there waiting to descend on them. If there was one thing she'd learned from the travails of the last few years, there wasn't any time left in her life for shirking.

Abeiuwa was gone when the buxom woman rose. Noemi wasted little time wondering where she was. Her things were till in their place, so it was unlikely she'd left. She'd be back when she was of a mind to return. Instead of wondering at things she had no control over, the Purple Princess threw herself into work, stopping from time to time to look at her options for replacement maids. As the day wore on, she experienced the joy of changing a baby. She actually had to call Simone for instructions. After that, she found that the supply of milk in the fridge was gone, and that left her with a real bind.

With her hungry baby staring her in the eyes, the stacked princess found herself left with few options, and, with a long-suffering sigh, she opened her bodice and let Fabiana have at it. Shockingly, it wasn't nearly as bad as she'd feared, and, in the end, she found herself actually sort of enjoying it. That was when she heard the door unlock, and Abeiuwa came striding in with Adaeze on her hip and Princess Nadia in tow. " _Well_ ," announced the Jungle Princess. "What do we have here?" "Oh, stuff it," muttered Noemi. "I didn't have time to go and get milk." Smiling, Abeiuwa hefted a heavy bag and set it on the table. "Is that," Noemi burbled? "You're welcome," Abeiuwa replied, as she motioned for Nadia to join her before the window.

"So," Nadia murmured. "You asked me to come down..." Nodding, Abeiuwa crossed her legs artfully, as she leaned back into the cushions. It was her 'confident' pose. Nadia found herself wondering who'd come and swapped back her friend. Abeiuwa had been a mess for the last six or seven months. She'd feared the confident, plucky woman who could go toe-to-toe with just about anyone was gone for good. In tones that spoke of her confidence, Abeiuwa told her old friend and rival, "horse-trading. Death-Metal for one of those barrier-machines."

Nadia goggled at her a moment. Abeiuwa twirled a lock of her hair carelessly in one hand. Her heart-rate was low, her temperature within nominal ranges. She wasn't stressing at all. She might have been talking about the weather. "You going to keep scanning me, or deal," asked Abeiuwa? Flushing, the cyborg asked, "w-what're we talking about?" "Listen," said Abeiuwa. "I would gleefully send some of my troops to deal with some of our little _problems_. I'm part of this little coalition. I didn't want to be at first, but I can see now that it's better to be in it than going my own way. Unfortunately, I have a little problem of geography."

The Grid-Face Princess frowned a moment. "Alright," she said. "Say on." Steepling her hands before her, Abeiuwa the Jungle Princess explained, "my people are at continual war against the jungle and the thousand-thousand little deaths waiting inside to consume them. My soldiers spend their time keeping those thousand deaths out of every village and hamlet." "You'd like something to keep them out," Nadia surmised. "Just so," Abeiuwa replied. "In exchange, some of my troops would be freed to... conduct some of the council's business. Under William's command, of course." "Of course," Nadia agreed.

The tall princess got up and went to one of the bookshelves. Taking a map off the top shelf, she returned and spread it out on the couch. "These are the borders of my kingdom. From the western ocean to the great desert in the east," she said. "I know that your machine can't protect all of it, but if I had something for the heartland..." "One barrier would protect all of these major villages," Nadia agreed, "but I have no right to simply _hand_ you something..." "Which is why we're horse-trading," Abeiuwa agreed.

The bargaining began in ernest, with Noemi listening in and offering pithy comments that left both women occasionally laughing or spluttering at her outrages. In the end, Nadia drove a very hard-bargain, making off with a half-ton of precious nuclear fuel in exchange for one barrier. It was a pleasant turn of events and one that left Noemi cautiously optimistic. Indeed, the pleasant mood persisted into the evening call with their husband. For once, it was Billy that was stressed and worried, and his wives behaving.

"Hey," Billy greeted the trio, as they sat before the phone. "William," Ragnhild greeted him. "Just calling to let you know I'm ok," he told them. For once, Abeiuwa started things off, announcing, "when you get back, I'd like to talk about reorganizing our army, beloved." A little startled, Billy replied, "uh, sure." She had a number of things to discuss regarding their shared life, and Billy found himself promising to find the time to talk about them.

Noemi was the one to point out that he sounded _off_. Of course, a woman who'd spent much of her life playing love-games with other women's husbands, was very good at sniffing out when a man was hiding something. At Ragnhild's sharp glance, Noemi opined, "something's wrong, William. It's better to say it and have it in the open. You'll only have to tell it to Bonnie anyway." "We got jumped," he admitted. "I... think maybe Nieve's either cooperating with her abductors or maybe even in on it." As the trio listened, he laid out what Tom had seen and what Olesia had surmised.

"But you don't know," Ragnhild rumbled. It was only half a question. Severely, Abeiuwa said, "you are a detective, William. Why are you dithering?" The big man flushed to his hair. He was being called out. The irony didn't escape him regarding just who was doing it either. "We will make a pact with you, William," the Jungle Princess rumbled. "You will do your utmost, and we will maintain our family home. Do what needs to be done and return." "I-I will," Billy burbled. "I'll get home as soon as I can." With that, the girls signed off, leaving a disturbed and stunned Billy staring at his phone.

 **And Finn fights his way out of a jam... Wonder what's up with all the puffing and wheezing, though? And, mercifully, Abeiuwa's putting in work to help the cause as opposed to being the cause of the problems... Time to Buckle Up. It's about to get rocky.**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

"I can't see," Lollipop groused. "You don't _need_ to see," retorted an irritated Warrior Princess. The little fashionista was getting on her nerves just now, and Ingrid was close to belting her. Lollipop had been clear and unwavering in her opposition to coming out here, and she'd found endless things to gripe over on the long slog through the forest. Ingrid had twice told her to hit the road if she didn't want to stick this out. As far as the Warrior Princess was concerned, this was every bit as important as raising their kids. If they wanted the babies to have a home to grow up in, they needed to make sure there were no threats to the Empire of Ooo.

Just now, the pair were perched high in a tree, staring into the blight. Ordinarily, Ingrid would have done leaders' reconnaissance by physically walking the ground. It was clear to her that their foes had anticipated that. There would be no sneaking around in the blight. There was no cover to hide anything. Of course, there were still _trees_ they could use to do the job from a distance.

"Peanuts," muttered Ingrid. "There's a lot of them," Plantain opined. "They should be defending their border," Lollipop burbled. Which Ingrid well knew. Finn had left them in a bind with waves of homeless refugees crashing against their borders. It was one of the utterly ruthless maneuvers that 'New Finn' had shown himself capable of and something that at once aroused admiration and terror in Ingrid. It was the maneuver a _man_ should be executing. It was what a warrior-king should do to put his enemies on the defensive. At the same time, it was nothing like the kind, _compassionate_ man she'd fallen in love with. Ingrid's sister-wives often complained of 'New Finn' behind their husband's back, and now Ingrid was starting to understand.

More on point, the peanuts should be barely hanging on. How did they find troops for an adventure? There were hundreds–possibly _thousands_. The warrior woman felt a profound unease. There was something dangerous afoot here, and Finn was in the far east, chasing shadows. She understood it. With the Slime-Folk taken in hand, and the peanuts turned towards the brutal fight just for survival, the would-be conqueror in the east had seemed like the larger threat. Still, their enemies seemed to be as slippery as the fish-woman who'd tricked Finn into fathering her child.

As the Warrior-Princess ruminated on the threat before her, the model managed to climb up onto a higher branch. Hanging on that wobbly branch, she tried to get a look at what the others had been talking about. "You'll give us away, sugarlips," Ingrid muttered, as she slipped her telescope back into its protective pouch. "There's sure a lot of themmmm," wailed the candy-person as her branch gave way. Plantain caught her by the wrist and levered her onto a sturdier branch while Princess Ingrid pondered this development. "I don't understand their play," he offered. "Their kingdom is wrecked too." The peanuts should be fighting for their lives. An uneasy Ingrid declared, "we'll head back to the enclave. I'll call this in."

Far to the east, Patrick Petrikov looked up from studying the inside of his eyeballs to find that Thor had stopped the truck in a muddy village high in the mountains north of Purple Kingdom. They had been trailing the men who'd invaded the Candy Palace for days now. They'd traced them from an abandoned van in Candy-Town south and east to a train-station in the middle of nowhere and then across Engagement Ring Kingdom into the bandit kingdoms north of Purple Kingdom. The trail was the sort of steady that suggested the men in question were either stupid patsies or cunningly baiting a trap.

 _Patrick_ was uneasy about a lot of this. He was uneasy with Cherry, who had terrorized his wife's family. She was their nominal ally, but Patrick still harbored suspicions. He was uneasy with Thor, who was a reformed gangster. And he wasn't thrilled to be away from Fionna and their child. He _felt_ Star's hunger to be _retired_. He wanted to be done with adventures. He'd lived through a lifetime's worth already. Now as he looked on an eerily familiar village, he felt that hunger keenly.

He'd killed someone here–several someones. He'd been protecting Fionna when the Quicksilver Curse was slowly killing her. A local had threatened them, offering to enslave the both of them. Patrick had killed him–had taken his money and frozen him and his guards to death on the village square. The memory made him uneasy, but the trail of the assault team led _here_.

"That place," Patrick announced, when Thor asked where he wanted to stay. He'd considered it the last time he was here before the local lord tried to enslave him. The giant gathered up the bulk of their gear before locking the truck. He was useful that way. Patrick gathered up his working gear and fell in behind as his brother-in-law headed up the walk to the front door of the Sarna inn. Standing inside the open-air atrium, the young man found himself remembering. He'd intended to stay the night here with Fionna. The food had smelled good, and his mind had been on maybe getting Fionna to eat–to see if she could get it down and hold it. He'd been thinking as though she had some kind of familiar sickness instead of a phantom eating her heart from the inside.

Acquiring a pair of rooms, the duo went upstairs and locked their gear up before heading back down to dinner. Settling in at a corner spot in the inn's large common room, the two ordered up supper and talked over what they were going to be doing while they waited. Thor had half a hundred contacts to pursue. They were almost all among the masterless men that preyed on travelers in this mountainous land. Their quarry had come this way. They had likely either paid off the locals as Thor had or been forced to fight.

As the pair chatted, hostile eyes watched with interest from the VIP table near the kitchen. _She_ had learned of the strangers before they'd entered the town. Her father had been little more than a bandit himself, preying on folk passing his castle. He had once secretly controlled all the gangs operating within a hundred miles of the town, using them to suss out who was passing through the area and whether or not they were worth preying on. And of course she well remembered the description of the stranger who'd slain her father's vizier along with several guards on the town square. Rising, the young lady slipped into the kitchen. Standing in an alcove there, the fallen noble drew a phone and dialed the number of her nemesis and abuser.

The wax-person took her time in answering. When she finally did, she sounded breathless as she demanded, "what do you need, princess?" Cerelia got right to the point, stammering, "men have come here chasing your soldiers. I-I think it's the Ice-King's son a-and his bodyguard..." "You _think_ ," growled the murderess? "I-I... He's the man who killed my father's vizier," the young girl babbled. There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Cerelia found herself waiting in terror. Finally her tormenter spoke, commanding, "lure them to your castle, princess. Keep them there for me. Entertain them if you have to. If they try to leave, kill both. Understand?"

Cerelia stared at the phone in terror. Coldly, the wax-person reminded her, "it's not like you're a _virgin_ anymore _princess_. You know what happens when you disobey..." Terrified by the prospect of being handed to a bunch of thugs again, the young princess babbled, "I-I'll do as you say." The wax-hustler hung up in her face.

Hundreds of miles away, the murderess climbed off her hapless patsy, the mood spoiled by that phone-call. Finn was still out of her reach. He was out there doing what he could to disrupt her plans. The lizard person reached out and stroked her thigh. Chelsea ignored him, her mind turning on vengeance. Lighting a licorice stick, the lizardman closed her fingers around it in subtle suggestion. With a sigh, the pale beauty put the potent cigar to her lips and drew deeply.

A cloud of euphoria swept over her, bringing calm. It would be a shame to kill all the candy-people. They grew some of the best shit in the world! Taking another hit from the blunt, the murderess decided she'd have to leave a few alive to feed her habit. Climbing back on her toy, the evil witch focused her mind on getting the books in the royal library in the Lizard Kingdom. Her pawn was making progress. She'd demonstrated a rocket that could go at least a mile. But she needed better metal. Chelsea sighed. Much as she wanted to _see_ the Candy Kingdom go up in a mushroom cloud, she wanted to live on after the fact. The rockets would need much more range. Of course she could raid the library to her heart's content with the Lizard-Folk fighting off an invasion.

Thousands of miles to the east, her partner was facing a crisis that had sprung up seemingly out of her own fears. The Bandit Princess had been in a half-drunken stupor when Finn the Human massacred half the staff of the Red Queen and set the place ablaze. Nor was that the _only_ incident. He'd hit a drug den and bounced a weapon-smuggling operation. Within the last twenty-four hours, he'd hit another of her gambling dens. He'd fought his way up to the control booth where the manager ran the place, and ended up slaughtering one of the body-doubles that 'stood in' for the Bandit Princess when she didn't want to be found. Her partners and allies were running scared. He was tearing up the operations that put money in her coffers, and the Yakuza were getting irritated.

Nor were they the only ones afraid.

She'd watched the video recovered from the Sea Lion casino seventeen times already. She'd watched it and watched it and watched it, examining it from every angle. She'd marveled at the ferocity that the so-called Last Human displayed. She'd watched in shock and amazement at the fluid way he moved. He moved like the guards were wooden dummies, just there to be beat-up. However, more to the point, he'd been so fast that it seemed like he was untouchable. She'd come to an ugly conclusion from watching and rewatching.

She couldn't fight him.

There was absolutely no way she could defeat him so long as he had the power of the Quicksilver Curse on his side. She would have to find some way to slow him down. She'd have to find some way to balance the scales. She needed the Firebleeder. She needed rockets to deliver her poisons and plagues. She needed something so profoundly catastrophic that it would occupy all his attention dealing with the problem. While Finn the Human could certainly not see himself fighting wars of empire while the world drowned in sickness and death, she had no such qualms. What she lacked right now was a way to deliver her deadly weapons against his people while preserving her own power-base.

"Why don't you let me fight him," rumbled Móguĭ? His sister glared at him. Striding across the room, the half-demon shut off the awful scenes of carnage on the holo-player. Taking his sister's battered hands, he said, "let me fight him. Let me crush this cockroach." Her eyes said it. When Móguĭ was gone, she would be alone. She was afraid of being alone. It was one of her deepest fears. Only the fear of the people she'd murdered was stronger. Turning away, the younger woman growled, "I need rockets... or an airship. I need _something_ to move my weapons, Móguĭ. I have to hold the world hostage, or I have to hold his people hostage. It has to be one of the two." "Then I'll deliver you a hostage," growled the half-demon. Turning to go, he said, "stay away from him until I get back."

Morning found Patrick out front of the inn after a cold shower in icy water. He'd gotten spoiled by life in the Candy Kingdom. Oh, he'd still had the _joy_ of humping wood into the house to heat it, but the solar-heaters on the roof kept the water plenty hot for washing. Out here in the uncivilized kingdoms, things often went from inconvenient to hazardous in an instant. It was another reason to want an end to the adventures.

Thor was under the typically armored hood of their ride. Patrick announced himself with a wary, "hey..." Thor grunted something, letting Patrick know he'd kind of been a jerk. They weren't friends, but the big man was trying. He'd been trying, when Patrick had been holding him at arm's length and treating him as though he were a criminal instead of Captain of the Guard.

"Trouble with the truck," Patrick asked? With a shrug, the giant replied, "preventing problems." "I'll buy breakfast," Patrick offered. "Then we can look around a little..." With a grunt, the former gangster shut the hood of the truck and locked it. As the pair headed across the inn's muddy front yard to the door, Patrick admitted, "this isn't really easy. You guys were the enemy not long ago..." "You were too," Thor replied. Patrick's head whipped around. Only a good long look at Star's hubby told him the big man was jerking his chain. Fi had said he was a lot sharper than he let on. With a sigh, the wizard admitted, "ok, that was kind of a dick thing for me to say..."

Laughing like bro's, the pair went inside the inn once more and headed straight for the buffet line to score some breakfast chow. As Patrick went to fill his plate, the head man approached, announcing, "your pardon, young masters..." Patrick's hackles went up as he turned to face the purple-person standing there. "There a problem," the wizard asked? "We've paid our rooms through three days." They were entitled to breakfast. "Oh, no, sirs," replied the head waiter. Nodding at the table near the kitchen door, the old man explained, "the lady asked if you wouldn't mind joining her..."

Patrick's unease grew as he turned to face the young woman sitting alone at a table. The finery she wore suggested she was a woman of means, and a strange thought intruded. This was the sort of thing that happened to his father-in-law/stepdad. Finn was forever getting invited to pretty ladies' quarters or to sit down and eat with them. Invariably the lady in question would end up wanting to play Footsie. Finn, strangely enough for a man who clearly liked the sex, did his best to turn it down. _He's_ married _, Patrick,_ thought the wizard. _So are you._ The King of Ooo was doing his best to be a respectable figure, in spite of his... _handicaps_ , and Patrick realized that he had reasons for doing the same. At the same time, they needed information. This woman might have some.

With a sigh, the young man stepped off, praying he wasn't going to regret this. Shaking his head and muttering curses, the soldier-turned-bandit-turned-soldier stepped off after him. The pair approached the curvy young woman at the table. She had the kind of curves that would have had teen-Patrick drooling. Purple Folk were built like that. At least the women were. Patrick found himself thinking of Billy. Billy was bangin' the Purple Princess herself. Noemi was still kinda' smokin' for a gal her age, and Patrick couldn't help thinking that this young lady was the archetype of what the Purple Princess might have looked like with blue-black hair, deep purple skin, and yellow eyes that seemed to almost be sparkling.

"Hello," offered the young lady, "I'm Cerelia... Princess of Bormio..." That name sent a shiver down Patrick's spine. He'd whacked the Prince's flunky. Was this the Prince's daughter? "I saw you last night," offered Cerelia. "You came to town yesterday. Why don't you join me for breakfast. We've not had much for visitors in a while." Inwardly cursing his luck, Patrick burbled, "uh, yeah. Sure." _Smooth, dummy,_ he thought. _Real smooth._ Why was it that the man who had always been the dimmest bulb in the room almost always had something to say to talk his way through something like this? The pair sat themselves at the Princess's table. It was time to see if this thing would hunt.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, the Finn Family was once again staring at alarming news with most of their assets already deployed and the Patriarch of the family out of town. Ingrid was on the line, and the information she had to share had Bonnie biting at her nails. An army. Inside the defensive perimeter. They had a rogue army inside their defenses!

"The peanuts," muttered Ingrid. "Somehow they scraped together an army, and they've put it to use inside what's left of Wildberry Kingdom." "But why," demanded Breakfast?! "Finn's treasure," sighed Cherry. Every face there whipped around. With a dry chuckle, Cherry remarked, "surely you didn't think he _squandered_ it all, Bonnie?" The pink princess flushed. That was exactly what she'd thought happened. Shaking her head, Cherry said, "his idiot brother managed to torque off the crazy berry and got them both on her shit list. She confiscated pretty much ninety-percent of what they had..." "Wait," demanded Nadia! "We should have known about that!"

"It wasn't direct confiscation," Cherry explained. "Crazy-berry was going to have the pair of them put down on the spot, and half the people in her capitol gathered for the show. Her citizens aren't much brighter than Bonnie's. When Finn and Jake fled Wildberry Kingdom, the treasure was just left there on the street. The berries took it all and... _squandered_ it. Where do you think the mansions and the hotels came from?" That news left the others goggling at her. "He told me the story," Cherry sighed. It was a good memory in a way. They'd talked about the strangely empty neighborhood of mansions and swimming pools on the way back to her hotel the night James Plumly tried to do them in. She'd been shocked, appalled, and strangely saddened that Finn had lost everything to his idiot brother's bad behavior.

Shaking off the mood, the little woman explained, "she taxed it. She levied special taxes. And then she levied more taxes atop the taxes. The nouveau-rich got poor, and they lost those mansions and swimming pools. All that money... it ended up in her treasury. It's more than likely she spent a lot of it on her stupid war, but she was a miser. I'd bet anything that most of its still there." "Making a tempting target for our would-be prince," Bonnie grumbled, as she stared at the table. Strangely enough, she'd found _Jake_ a more compelling person than Finn back in the day. Jake was wild and fun and uninhibited and seemingly much more mature. He'd known how to talk to girls, where Finn had been shy and awkward.

Now she saw that he was a dolt. He was clearly an idiot and a bad influence on his younger brother. She'd had no idea how Finn and Jake lost their fortune. Now she knew, and she understood things she hadn't seen until now. It left her feeling an unease of a different sort. Finn had once told her to her face that she behaved like every other girl–chasing jerks who hurt her and dumping on guys who cared. _And he was right,_ a voice whispered.

Breaking the tension gripping the room, Hurletta burbled, "you guys are stressing for nothing..." Bonnie's face whipped around to find the Slime Princess leaning over on the table, her chin resting on her hand. "I have an army," she reminded them. "I was sort of watching the border anyway. I can go at the peanuts and keep them in check..." Face bent in a frown, Ragnhild asked, "are you sure?" With a smirk, Hurletta replied, "we got this. Piece of cake."

The gathering moved on. Cherry opined, "we can't leave the treasure there, Bonnie. It's a target. As long as it's laying there, people will be trying to steal it. Those people might be threats." Ingrid agreed, opining, "wars require finance. The less we have of unregulated dark money, the fewer conflicts we'll have." "Ok," said Bonnie, "but we need to take this before the council... We can't just expropriate another kingdom's property."

Cherry rolled her eyes. Bonnie was going squeamish. Again. Still. "That money belongs to Finn," she growled. Glaring back, the First Minister replied, "we'll follow the _law_ , not your whims..." Cherry was the council's wild-card and always had been. She was ready, willing, and able to be the source of chaos, something Bonnie never forgot. It helped not at all that it was _Cherry_ who seemed to so often see more in Finn than Bonnie herself did. How many of their nasty fights in this room were the result of their very real rivalry over Finn?

Standing up, Cherry shot back, "what berry-breath did constitutes an Illegal Taking." Bonnie opened her mouth and shut it again. Clearly she'd forgotten Cherry had been a lawyer. The point of law she'd just cited was a cherished article of Bonnie's own laws. You couldn't just _take_ somebody's stuff. Not even the Ruler had the right to do that. "Alright," growled the pink princess, "Mr. Mertens is certainly clear to take the government of Wildberry Kingdom to court and _sue_ like anybody else. The Privy Council doesn't take sides." To seal the deal, Bonnibel added, "weren't you supposed to be finding that illegal gun factory?"

The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife with the two women leaning over the table and glaring at each other. Straightening, Cherry proclaimed in icy tones, "alright, then..." Without a further word, the gangster turned and stalked out. A fuming Bonnibel glared at the door, but Ingrid forced the meeting back on course. "I need that army, Hurletta," she said. "As soon as I can get it." "You'll have it," the Slime Princess replied. Her phone chimed then, and she shot to her feet, announcing, "oops! Gotta' go! Got counseling!"

Late that same day, Patrick and Thor found themselves walking in company with Princess Cerelia, one on either side. They'd spent most of the day with her, laughing and enjoying themselves. The wizard had quite forgotten about his reasons for coming here. Thor had been uneasy earlier. Now he was charming and gregarious. The princess herself was touchy and affectionate, never hesitating to get close to her guests as she flirted and laughed with them. The day had been a whirlwind, and Patrick didn't want it to end. Thus it was that when the young princess suggested they join her in her suite for dinner, he all but fell over himself to agree. The young princess left them then, and Patrick found himself staring at her round butt as she strode back towards the hotel.

As Patrick wrestled with a hunger he'd forgotten he had, the Matriarch's advisor walked into a back-room in one of her illicit businesses with her mind on taking a little cash out of the pile for a spending-spree. It was one of the uglier aspects of their strange species. A wood-nymph was often at as much or greater risk from her fellows as from outsiders. Gemma had bought and sold her share of wood-nymph snatch over the years. At first, it was just selling someone else's ass to get _herself_ out of a tight spot. That had just been the catalyst though. That had only made it easier for Gemma to do the deed.

She'd graduated from the occasional ugly act to embracing the world of slaver and madam without qualms when she saw how much money there was to be had from it. Now she had two illegal houses setup south of the ugly pleasure district with a staff of brutal thugs on guard. While the so-called 'King of Ooo' had deigned to make the trade _legal_ , and the Matriarch had been made to _accept_ that decision, neither would have accepted women being forced into the trade. They certainly wouldn't have accepted under-aged girls.

Gemma needed the money. She had habits to feed, including a persistent addiction to licorice-sticks laced with Fruit-Witch Venom. The two drugs left her feeling sooo good, and the Matriarch was paying her a pittance to be shouted at and harangued. Things would change once Gemma was Matriarch. She had _plans_ for things she could do with her new powers. Finn the Human had gotten the bitches of the various Kingdoms to _accept_ the sex-trade. Her master would certainly not be revoking that decree. Gemma would make bank as the new lord of vice of the civilized kingdoms.

Strolling into her office, the evil woman toggled on the light, the better to see by. Only, the light hardly seemed to do anything for the darkness in the room. It was... _odd_ to say the least. The light was on. She could clearly see it was on. Except it was like she was viewing the light from the far end of a deep cave. It was only when she thought those words that she remembered Móguĭ. Almost as if summoned, the fiend clamped a massive hand around her throat, snatching her up off the floor. "Please," she wheezed. Móguĭ wasn't listening, though. "I need the Matriarch," he hissed. "I need you to bring her to me."

Gemma was starting to see streamers and spots before her eyes. He was choking her to death. He was going to strangle her without even realizing it. Tears flooded her cheeks, as she clawed at his hand. "The mistress needs a hostage, Gemma," Móguĭ explained. "We need someone to hold over Finn the Human's head. Someone dear to him. As you said, she's his woman. Bring her to me. Bring her to the Emerald Kingdom." The fiend dropped the hapless slaver on the floor. As she wheezed and coughed, he stepped into a shadow and disappeared.

 **Finn is kicking butt in the East. In the West... the girls are fighting. And Patrick is scopin' out another girl's bad bod. Don't do it, buddy. Just say no.**

 **And it looks like Gemma's going to be making that move against Huntress sooner rather than later.**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

"I just need an answer," said Billy. "I just want to know why your brother was in the wilds north of Purple Kingdom..." The hapless humanoid looked as if he were mere moments away from pissing himself. Of course Leo Pedersen imagined he'd be feeling the same if his wall suddenly shattered that way. The elemental standing at Billy's left elbow was certainly adding to his terror. Olesia had hardly spoken. The plump woman had merely stood at Billy's side as the young wizard put the inhabitants to the question.

Blood might well be thicker than water, but it wasn't stronger than cold fear. Their mark had found that he suddenly had nobody willing to back him. He was alone here. One man had fled out the window. Another had locked himself in a backroom. With nobody willing to stand against them, Pedersen had turned the house upside down, ransacking cabinets and closets for evidence that Princess Nieve had been here. This whole thing was a longshot–a leap of faith kicked off by the junk in their assailants' pockets. Those men had intended to come _here_ to get paid by this fellow.

As Billy squeezed their hapless mook, noise outside alerted them that trouble had arrived. A dozen men came rolling up in trucks. As Billy continued talking at their mook, several men got down, and nearly all were armed. It said something about who ran the town that many had firearms. Leo eased the pistol at his hip. This could go sideways fast. Indeed everyone except Billy seemed to be responding to the new threat.

"Need you to let go of Wally," said a fat fellow near the lead car. "Wally's in a lot of trouble," Billy replied. "It's against the law to try to assassinate a Royal..." "Who're you," the fat man demanded? A wave of supernatural cold lashed out and froze the fat man where he stood. Shit got real in that moment as three mooks opened fire and four more tore out of there as if their lives depended on it. A forcefield sprang into being, stopping a speeding iron dart from burying itself in Leo Pedersen's neck. Olesia set fire to two of the men and one of the trucks besides.

That decided one more man, who decided to make himself scarce. Time seemed to slow down then. One of the thugs sprayed the elemental woman in the face with an extinguisher. One of the gunmen turned his weapon on Lina. As Olesia squealed in pain and terror, Billy hurled an ice-javelin, spearing a gunman through his belly. As that fellow fell forward, Leo shot the man with the extinguisher, and Tom lit up a second gunman, who promptly threw himself down and lay there rolling around in flames.

The burning truck exploded, shattering the frozen corpse and setting the last gunman alight. As he lay writhing and screaming, Billy turned to the plump girl. Picking her up, the young hero carried her out to the burning vehicle. "You're going to be ok," he said. "Happened to Phoebes a couple times..." Seeing what he was about to do, she said, "y-you better put me down." Billy insisted on laying her almost within the flames, at great risk of burning himself.

Standing inside, Lina watched Tom as he watched the young hero. "Jealous," she teased? The answer was plain on his face. Leo picked that moment to snatch the cyborg-girl off her feet. He kissed her thoroughly, adding to the elemental's humiliation. "Thanks, baby," he murmured. "Eto nichto," she replied. Billy rejoined them, saying, "let's make tracks. There might be more." Tom stood a moment, staring out at the young princess, as she fed on the flames of the burning truck. Her eyes were fixed on their leader. Muttering in disgust, he turned back to the job at hand.

Hundreds of miles away in the Lizard Kingdom, a terrified messenger came running out of the north as the sun was setting, looking as though the Night-O-Sphere was chasing him. Seeing his panic, the Lizard-Guards immediately summoned their Captain. It took a couple of tries to get the story out of him about why he was seemingly running for his life. When the answer finally came, it left the _Captain_ in terror for his life. The Captain stared in fear at the horizon, and it took several moments for his officers to get his attention. And then, he turned and began shouting for the gates to be closed and barred. As that command got passed down the walls, the Captain headed for the palace to share the bad news with his Princess.

Back in Bormio, Patrick Petrikov licked his lips for the taste of the sweet, sweet sauce that his meal had come bathed in. The meal had left him so full, he felt like he'd pop. A glance across the table found Thor rubbing his belly. The princess had spoiled them. She'd plied them with food most of the evening, bouncing questions off their foreheads about their investigation and how it was going. She'd professed to be _terrified_ that a pack of armed thugs would be moving through her kingdom. She'd admitted that things _happened_ around her domain, implying that her father had lost his life to bandits, but she kept the town clean of such things.

The bit about the firearms had properly worried her. Her guards were armed with nothing more than crossbows. She'd suggested and more than suggested that she needed a defender–someone to keep such awful people at bay. She was alone, was the young princess. Patrick felt a little bit of brotherly concern for her. She was young for the job of princess, and he knew she was vulnerable. Honestly, if he let himself admit it, she pushed buttons he didn't realize he had. He'd honestly not felt like this since Fionna was sick.

Listening to the young girl's problems and worries, he felt like he _mattered_. Often, with Fionna, he found himself wondering what she needed him for. That had only gotten worse not better with 'New Fionna'. New Fionna was a fucking genius, at the same time she'd lost none of her combat-skills. New Fionna could probably dribble him around the floor like a basketball and dunk him all day, wizard or not. Cerelia acted like she needed him, and she wasn't embarrassed about that in the least.

Rising, the little princess announced, "I'll be right back. You'll have to tell me if you'd like dessert." And then she went into the bathroom. When she'd gone, Thor turned to him and said, "we really should be getting back to work. We... we haven't found anything." The princesses were going to be irritated with them. They were supposed to be hunting the thugs that had hit the palace and swiped Maja and Blargetha. While Thor really had no use for either of the pair, he knew Cherry thought the whole episode was _dangerous_. The Boss of Bosses didn't use that word lightly.

"We've been looking," Patrick insisted. They'd talked to a lot of people. Cerelia's guards had helped them. Shaking his head, Thor said, "I... I'm not sure that's what we should be doing..." He was having a little trouble articulating what he wanted to say. Right now, his brain felt like mush, and his little brother was doing a lot of his thinking for him. He'd been dealing with a fair bit of no-sex from his lady for a while now. Star was a nymph, and he'd gotten used to her wanting to fuck his eye-balls out every chance she got. She was a _fiend_ for it. At least she had been until twins came into the picture. He'd gotten cut off forthwith, and he was feeling it. So, yeah, he would gleefully have hung out with Cerelia for _days_ just for a whiff. But they should be getting back to work.

"Ready for dessert," Cerelia asked?

Both men glanced up to find her standing near the door to her bedroom. She was wearing a sheer nighty that clung tight to her young curves, exposing acres of her deep purple skin. Those awesome knockers of hers were held up high on display for both men to gawk at. Her deep black hair was teased out just-so, and she'd applied a generous coating of red lipstick to her plump lips. Patrick licked his lips in hunger at the sight of the curvy princess, as she came striding towards them, six-inch heels adding a little to her height.

Stopping at the end of the table, she glanced down and opined, "oh, you _do_ want some dessert..." Patrick flushed as he realized he had a boner that wouldn't quit. After months of no sex, he wanted pussy, and he would have done just about anything to get it. This was wrong. A voice in the back of his mind said this was wrong, and he found himself shouting that voice down and then giving it a kick for good measure.

Rising, he stepped towards the little princess. It was only when he was reaching out to her that he realized Thor was mirroring him. The young wizard turned an angry glare on the soldier. "No need to fight," Cerelia murmured, as she stepped between both men. Taking their hands, she turned and headed for the bedroom.

Far to the west, Bonnibel Bubblegum walked into her private space in the palace–the one little bit of palace she had kept for herself–to find Sarah waiting on her. Strangely enough, she'd warmed to this strange relationship. It was oddly _relaxing_ to talk to someone who was so much like her. She didn't have to dumb herself down the way she did with Marceline, and she didn't feel like she was dealing with a rival as she did when she was dealing with Nadia or _Cherry_. That last was almost the worst of her daily trials. Cherry was 'feeling her oats' as Princess of the Underworld, and it was starting to really fry Bonnie's ass that the little cunt thought she could just do what she wanted. It helped not at all that Cherry had been one of the driving forces behind pushing Fionna's 'cure' onto the Candy-People. Bonnie had lost her control of them, and she didn't like that at all.

From being irritated by Sarah's independence, Bonnie had come to see her android double as a sounding-board and confidante. Sarah had saved her life, when she could simply have moved in and taken over the Candy Kingdom herself. Bonnie felt like Sarah was the one person who'd never hurt or betray her. And, bonus-points, Sarah was one of only three people who could really keep up with Bonnie sexually. Finn and Marceline did a thorough job of scratching the itch, but Sarah outdid both as only a tireless machine could do it. She was planning on having a nice, _long_ session with her double tonight to unwind.

On her side, Sarah was in a bit of a bind because, honestly, she wasn't really in the mood tonight. She wasn't in the mood and hadn't _been_ in the mood for _weeks_. She loved Bonnie as only someone who intimately _knew_ her could. At the same time, she felt conflicted, and she didn't understand why. She'd been ducking this encounter for a while, finding piles of things that urgently needed doing, but she'd run flat out of ideas when she'd come to the bottom of tasks that the Kingdom depended on.

So here she was, dressed to the nines, and looking forward to a miserable evening pretending she was in the mood. It was dreadful every way she looked at it, and she'd found herself praying, as illogical as it seemed, to Glob to get her out of this mess. "Evenin', babe," said Bonnie, as she kissed the android-girl's cheek. "Mmm," Sarah replied, "evening..." As she sat herself, Bonnie said, "it's been a helluva day! Lots to talk about!" Sarah nodded. So she'd heard. She'd gotten an earful from Nadia about the blowout in the council chambers.

Sarah had been fruitlessly searching for ways to bridge the gap between her fellow Finn-wives for months with little real success. The trouble was that Cherry seemed to have dropped the whole business with her first husband, but the same deadly passion seemed to have transferred itself to _Finn_. Anything Cherry saw as slighting Finn was sure to earn her wrath. Bonnie, as committed as she was to their shared life, was far more committed to what she saw as _justice_. Bonnie's rigid sense of right and wrong were at loggerheads with Cherry's more malleable ethics, and that gap was proving impossible to bridge.

Sarah went and retrieved dinner, laying out plates, as Bonnie chattered away about whatever was on her mind in a stream-of-consciousness sort of way that only she would have understood. It was every kind of crazy, but Sarah could understand easily how her creator and Marceline so often parted company. Listening to that stream of verbal diarrhea would have been maddening for someone who didn't know Bonnie. It was illogical, but it was failings like these that endeared Bonnie to Sarah and made her desperate not to lose the candy princess again.

Bonnie was nattering on about her hopes and dreams for her grand-children–dreams Sarah lived vicariously–when the phone rang. "Fuck," growled Bonnie, as she fumbled the thing out of her pocket. She fumbled with it twice before getting it to open. "What," she growled? Sarah's hands on her shoulders calmed her, as she tried again. "I'm fine," said Bonnie. "What's the problem?" Sarah found herself massaging the candy-monarch's tense shoulders as that one-sided conversation droned on. Finally, with a heavy sigh, Bonnie hung up. "I've got to go," she muttered. The tone said it all. Something unpleasant had come up. Leaning down, Sarah kissed her cheek and whispered, "you'll do well. You always do."

Rising, the Candy Monarch headed out to deal with yet another consequence of Wildberry's actions. Finn had expected the people of the wastes to make a bee-line straight for her kingdom. Lacking any sort of evidence to the contrary, Bonnie had agreed with the assumption. Hungry people didn't really have energy or resources to make big strategic moves. They'd expected the people of the wastes to be hung up at the borders of the Peanut Kingdom for _months_ –long enough to get their alliances squared away and rebuild the civilized kingdoms. Unfortunately, things weren't quite playing out as planned.

Bonnie's newest _problem_ became Billy Mertens' problem in the middle of a very late dinner after a long trek through the mountains in the dark. Bill's crew had spent the whole trip on edge and in fear of getting jumped, with Olesia all but _clinging_ to Billy after her ordeal with the fire extinguisher. They'd gotten _home_ to camp feeling exhausted, and been delighted to find that the forcefield protecting Lina's truck was still active and their camp was ok.

With the forcefield back up, Lina and Olesia had set to work making up dinner, while Billy himself dug into what they'd found. That had turned into a bout of muttering and musing to himself, as he sorted through his notes and the various clues they had. So engrossed in the business was he, that Billy hardly noticed when the two girls finished cooking up supper. Indeed, to Leo, it looked as if he would have gone on working at the problem all night.

As he sat reading and whispering to himself, Olesia knelt beside him and handed him a plate. When he glanced up, she gave him a winsome smile and said, "it's hot..." Blushing, Billy took hold of the plate, creating a small cloud of steam from his icy fingers. The sight made Lina giggle. Tom glared at her, jealousy naked on his face. "You missed your best chance," Lina murmured. Olesia would have been happy with the attention, but Tom had discounted her as being a 'fatty' and below his standards.

With every eye on him, Billy finally put work aside, saying, "I think she went with them." Glancing at Olesia, he told her, "I think maybe you were right..." The elemental blushed prettily at being told that she was right about something. She had stars in her eyes. Lina could see it. The plump girl had the hunger. They'd talked about it while the boys were in town running down leads. Now Billy was in her sights and showing signs that he valued her.

Billy's phone rang, breaking the spell. Setting his plate aside, the big man fished out his phone. Eyeing it with a frown, he flicked it open, announcing, "Rags?" As his companions watched, the big man's face slowly changed expression, showing growing unease. "Slow down," he said. "What does Lizard Princess want?" The young man adopted a listening attitude, implying that he was getting an answer to his question. Apparently, what she wanted was bad news, though, judging by the muttered riddley-raddley-ragglesnatzes coming out of Billy's mouth. The young soldier sat shaking his head and cursing under his breath throughout that one-side conversation. From time to time, their leader interjected arguments against what he was being asked, and Lina could _see_ him growing more and more tense.

"I don't fucking have _time_ for this," Billy finally blurted! He was really angry if he was swearing at his wife like that. Olesia winced at every word. "Rags," he interrupted. "We're getting close. We're close to finding Princess Nieve..." On the other end of the line, Bonnie interjected, "this is more important, Bill. There's an army moving south into Lizard Kingdom. They're threatening two of our most important allies. They're threatening our flank. They can cross the sea and come in through Purple Kingdom." The big man blushed. He hadn't even known Bonnie was there. She had him, though.

The young hero spent a few moments thinking about that. Yeah, he didn't want his wife's kingdom to get invaded, did he? At the same time, he just needed a couple more days. Injecting a little calm into his voice, the big man tried one last gambit. "Rags... Every time I go there, that woman tries to hit on me," he said. "I'd..." "Then play _nice_ , William," Noemi retorted. "You know how to play nice. I've seen it." His face went red hot at what she'd so casually suggested. Voice pleading, he said, "Rags..." "This is necessary, William," Ragnhild replied. "Play nice. Take care of this army. With the peanuts on the loose inside our defensive perimeter, we're depending on you." "Yes, dear," he muttered. He was already swearing under his breath when he hung up.

"So we're going to Lizard Kingdom," Leo announced. Muttering curses, Billy replied, "I'm gonna' go. It's... She's got an army. I don't know why she can't handle this. You guys keep chasing leads." Olesia tutted, "the faster this army gets sent packing, the faster we get back to work." Picking up his plate, she channeled a little heat into it, saying, "eat your dinner..."

 **Patrick's little head is thinking for him. And... Thor crosses a line. We'll see what the Mertens girls think of this development. Looks like Billy will be dodging a Cougar at the same time he puts down an army.**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

"I'm here to see your boss," Finn announced. Orzsebet watched the small crowd around them on the lawn as Finn's eyes remained fixed on their quarry. She hadn't wanted to have this meeting. She'd wanted to do it by proxy. They'd been at literal _war_ against the Bandit Princess's minions. They'd been in seven ugly fights in the last week, and the Agent Princess saw the whole business as counter-productive. She was the Lady of Spies! This wasn't how she typically did business! Bashing mooks was for idiots!

Unfortunately, Finn was insistent on going forward with his version of a plan. Mostly that consisted of trying to find a place where there quarry would be and then forcing her to sit down for a meet. Needless to say, things weren't going well. This was simply the latest chapter.

As the puzzled guard crossed the lawn of the palatial house to let his boss know she had a visitor, Orzsebet muttered, "if you're just going to fight them, you could just as easily send an army..." "The world has seen enough of death," he retorted. "Besides, the logistics don't work when the only troops available to deploy are pacifists out of Truth Kingdom..." Orzsebet's face snapped around when he used the word logistics. He gave her the willies when he started using words like that. 'New Finn' was in the house.

The guard was gone only a few minutes. When he returned, he had a list of demands. Staring the King of Ooo in the eye, the guard demanded, "you must give up your arms. Give them to me." Without a word, Finn handed across the Finn-Sword. The guard, who seemed shocked that he complied, now insisted, "you are a man of your word, so the mistress accepts this gesture. _She_ must go naked..." Orzsebet howled protests. "You sure, man," Finn asked? "She's kinda' skinny. No knockers to speak of." The spy hurled swear-words at him. "Naked," the guard insisted. Turning the cold, implacable face of 'New Finn' on his companion, the King of Ooo uttered one word. Strip.

Minutes later, they were walking across a manicured lawn, the Agent Princess wearing nothing but the shreds of her dignity. "You just wait," she muttered, her tone suggesting violence and vengeance, but he knew what she was capable of when shew as angry. "Surprised you're still moving with some of those scars," Finn opined. He hadn't seen them in the strip club. Orzsebet swore at him, but Finn wasn't paying attention. His eyes were focused on the figure sitting on the far side of the lawn amid a multitude of guests.

Seeing where his eyes were going, the Agent Princess remarked, "ogress." This time. Finn shrugged. It really changed nothing in his eyes. He hardly expected to see their quarry here. This was all about the message. Hearing those words, the skinny princess shut up and adopted a listening attitude. That had never occurred to her. She'd assumed he was just randomly bashing the Bandit Princess's agents and businesses.

Their minder reached the stranger first, offering up the Finn-Sword, hilt first. The woman behind the table examined it, as her 'guests' waited. Orzsebet took a good look around them. Some of these people were wealthy men and women of means. They were rubbing elbows with some of the dregs of society. In a strange way, it reminded her a great deal of Finn himself. He was a nobody. He'd been nothing. Now, somehow, he was lord of all he surveyed. It was the sort of recognition that tended to creep her out. Her 'master' and their opponent were, in some ways, matched. _Only the_ curse _separates them,_ she thought. It was a deadly epiphany, and she saw a little bit of why he might be worried.

The strange woman motioned for them to come forward. One of the men made the mistake of pushing Finn. The big man elbowed him sharply in the throat in an almost off-handed manner, staving in his wind-pipe, leaving him laying on the ground. You wouldn't have guessed that the big man even cared, though, as he calmly took the seat before their strange host. "Hello," he said. "I'm the King of Ooo. I'm here to negotiate with the Bandit Princess." "You've found her," their host replied. Hefting the Finn-Sword, the strange beauty murmured, "you were awfully anxious to see me..." Finn shrugged, "I do what I must to secure the peace..."

"Peace," chuckled the tall woman. Her eyes burned into Finn's. He wasn't intimidated in the slightest, as he said, "I wouldn't do that. I could kill you twice before you could pull that trigger." The man behind him slid his hand back out of his pocket. Orzsebet was now watching the mooks who'd been behind them. She dearly wished to know how the hell he did that.

Turning his attention back to their host, Finn declared, "I would appreciate your sending your boss a message." The stranger's eyes went wide, and her jaw came unhinged. For a moment, she sat there in shock as the strange man told her what he wanted and how he was prepared to work a meeting. "How _dare_ you," she snarled?! "How dare you insinuate that I'm someone's dog?!" He was pushing buttons, but to Orzsebet's eyes, it hardly seemed to matter to Finn. "You're an excellent actress," Finn rumbled, "but we both know you're merely a puppet. I need you to deliver a message to your boss. I'm willing to cede her a small amount of fertile land in exchange for her loyalty..."

The fight, such as it was, began just like that. The stranger snatched the sword from the table, thrusting it at Finn's neck. The big man... simply wasn't there. He was behind the stranger quick as thought, and he caught her head in a grip like iron. She didn't even get a moment to plead as the King of Ooo coldly snapped her neck.

The panic was almost instantaneous. Seeing that shocking display, the people gathered in the garden fled in terror, tripping over each other to get away. Rich noble, bandit, and everybody in between cleared out of the area, leaving everything behind. The men who'd hassled them at the entry were gone faster than the rest–almost as though they'd been standing too close to the fire. Finn, meanwhile, had laid the dead woman on the ground. Sliding his sword back in its sheathe, the King of Ooo told her dead, staring eyes, "I do what I must to secure the peace..."

Shedding his formal jacket, he slipped it over Orzsebet's shoulders. Without another word, he stepped off, heading back across the lawn. That gesture, almost as much as the brutal murder, disturbed her. "Come along, Princess Orzsebet," he rumbled. "I have business for you to attend to." Gulping down a mouthful of fear, the slim princess set off after him.

Late that same day, the Matriarch of the Grey Forest sat staring at what Apolline had presented her with. They'd been crunching the numbers and grinding on this since her husband had left for home. She was building a budget, doing her best to set expectations for what could be done with the resources they had. The idea of using her fellows to pay the bills disgusted her, but she understood what her husband had been trying to say. He was one man, and he couldn't justify plundering the other kingdoms to support _her_. His kingdom's collapse would be fast and inevitable.

Trouble was Emeraude Mertens was starting to fear the collapse of her own kingdom was going to be just that fast and just as inevitable. She was striving to provide some level of basic services to her folk and failing utterly. Gemma's antics weren't helping her any, either. It felt a lot like the bitch was setting up her own takeover when Emeraude herself failed, and that was not doing much to endear the two to each other.

"We're close, Mother," said Apolline, her tone encouraging. "We're close to balancing things." She saw it as close. Emeraude saw an unbridgeable gap. She wanted to have a school–a real one. She wanted to stock it with good teachers. Unfortunately, with winter coming on, and food still scarce, that was a tough row to hoe. As the Matriarch was ernestly considering begging her fellow wives for a loan, the door to her office opened to admit her erstwhile _advisor_.

Their relationship had worsened in the days since Finn left. Emeraude had been furious over Gemma's games. She'd come close to sanctioning the wench personally over the tricks she'd pulled and her attempts to all but create a state of war between the Grey Forest and the Crown of Ooo. The former Huntress Wizard had seen just how costly that could have been when her husband literally sealed out tens of thousands of hungry, homeless wretches who might well have tried to force their way into the Grey Forest. There was no way she could have defended them against _that_. More to the point, even could they hold the borders, the Trade would have collapsed entirely. There would have been nobody coming to their awful little pleasure district then.

"Mother," Gemma announced. She'd come wearing a high-necked gown as if she was in penance or something. Laying her arms on the table, Emeraude answered with, "Matron Gemma." The thin nymph bowed fractionally before striding up to the table. As if in acknowledgment of the strife between them, Gemma murmured, "I offer news that might help with... our problem." Coolly, the Matriarch replied, "say on..." Hands behind her back, Gemma said, "there are men who are known to me... Men working out of Emerald Kingdom. They... are interested in a _franchise_."

Apolline stared at her in puzzlement. Emeraude knew exactly what sort of franchise they meant. The sex-trade was forbidden in the Emerald Kingdom. The only other place that frowned upon whores more than Emerald Kingdom was Engagement Ring Kingdom, where a hooker could find herself doing a hard twenty or thirty years if she were found with a married man. As if she knew what Emeraude was thinking, the thin nymph remarked, "the sex-trade is legal... for us..." Apolline gasped. Head swiveling to her mistress, she opined, "the King said we could offer _franchises_. We could sanction these men... for a tithe of their money. This could save us. This would mean we could build the school!"

Emeraude gave vent to a bout of swearing. It wasn't clear if she was swearing at Apolline or the idea of selling out their fellow women for coin. In calm tones, Gemma said, "we must make a decision, Mother. While your devotion to justice for our fellows is... honorable... it won't keep their bellies full." That hit the Huntress like a slap in the face. It made her angry. At the same time, she knew Gemma was right. "Alright," she said. "We'll do this. What do we need to do to make the deal?" Smoothing her skirts, Gemma replied, "they will only do business with _you_ , Mother. They... are understandably afraid. They wish to deal with the person who has the power, rather than a flunky." "Ok," said the Huntress.

The Huntress sent her subordinates on their way, telling them that she needed to prepare for the journey. The reality was that she spent a lot of time thinking of her friends and the children that she didn't see anymore. Her daughter, who'd had to slap sense into her for her behavior. Simone, who'd taken her in and made her feel at home for the first time in her life. Fionna, who was developing into the sort of woman Emeraude had always believed she could be. And Billy, the son she couldn't have due to her biology. She found herself thinking of him and wondering where he was. Meanwhile...

Lizard Kingdom.

Billy the Human wore an unhappy expression as the boat grew ever closer to the shore. He wore an expression that suggested he was going to the gallows instead of just going off to do a quick job for the Privy Council. For a man who'd been all but sanctioned to cheat on his wives... by his wives, the big man looked as though he were swallowing a particularly bitter pill. It didn't make much sense to Leo. None of it did, really. If anyone had told him that his ruler, the Froyo Princess herself, would be in a polygamous relationship–literally _sharing_ a man with three others–just a few years back, he'd have arrested them on the spot. Not only did Princess Ragnhild put up with it, but she was almost encouraging this man to throw another wench on the pile.

 _Power and politics make for strange bedfellows, Leo,_ he thought. He'd been worrying at it so much, Lina had noticed, and she'd laughed at him for even wondering why. Of course, she'd made it clear that should he _consider_ such an arrangement, he might find himself wondering where his little brother had gotten off to. And maybe that was it. Leo Pedersen was a soldier–a nobody in the grand scheme of things. He didn't have the power in his fingertips to make kingdoms tremble and terrified princesses toe the line.

Billy had that power.

Billy had the power to smash their kingdoms to nothing if he chose, and power was intoxicating. When you added in the fact that the warrior-wizard was young, virile, and handsome, he made quite the package for lonely women with way too much time on their hands. _He doesn't want what I've got,_ thought the soldier, as he stared at the young fellow there on the prow of the boat. Billy was man enough that he could have probably _taken_ Lina, if he exerted himself, but he was moral enough to not want that. Leo was grateful and happy for what he had, and he thought that was the thing Lina had been trying to tell him. They weren't rich, and they were never going to be. They didn't have kingdoms or the power to build or destroy them. But they had each other, and that was enough.

Taking his lady's hand–distracting her from steering the boat, the soldier said, "I wouldn't want to be him. Too many complications." The cyborg woman laughed. That tickled her funny-circuit or something, but she squeezed his hand before going back to what she'd been doing. "Figured you'd plug yourself into it or something," he teased. In serious tones, she said, "it disturbs my husband..." "Be yourself, baby," he murmured. "You do you." "Maybe," she said, "but I'm kind of happy with what I have."

One person who _wasn't_ happy, was Tom. The elemental had been pretty miserable throughout this trip. If it wasn't the accommodations–the water terrified him–it was the every-day scenes of Olesia fawning over an oblivious Billy. The young girl had become quite smitten–in spite of her complaints about 'water-bags'. And Tom? Well, he'd belatedly realized that he could have had the plump girl for a penny if he'd showed even a moment's interest. He'd treated her like she was below his standards from the first day, though, and the opportunity had passed. Olesia was Billy's to have or lose, as he chose it, and Lina had been silently urging him to just get on with it for days.

"Just a couple of miles out," the cyborg announced. "I've got the phone-tower locked in. We should be able to go straight to the beach." Leo gave her a smile and a kiss on the cheek, then headed forward to help with the lines. It was a safe bet Olesia and Tom wouldn't be doing much with that. He found Billy talking to himself, suggesting that this whole setup was really bothering him. Taking a chance, the soldier asked his boss, "still fighting it?" Billy's face whipped around, and he blushed to his hair at what Leo was suggesting. The older man chuckled.

Shaking his head, Billy replied, "no, Leo." After a moment, he said, "something's wrong here. Why are these people here now? How did they get here so quickly, when a lot of them have to be starving? Princess Nadia's people were feeding some of them. Why would they move to come to a place with no certainty of a meal?" None of this made any sense. Frowning, Leo stared out to sea a moment. Then, turning back to his boss, he said, "you're the detective, sir. What do _you_ think is going on?" He was right. Billy did have some ideas as to what was going on, and he didn't like any of them. "There's intelligence behind this," the big man rumbled. "Somebody's manipulating these events."

That news had Leo frowning himself. "Dipped," he asked? The idea gave him the willies. They'd thought they took out all of the undead. He never wanted to see those things again. "No," Billy replied. "Not undead. Something else. Not sure who or why, though." Shaking himself, the big man said, "keep that close to the vest. Nobody else needs to know for now. I'd like..." "To do some more digging," Leo agreed, with a nod. "Ok."

Just as she promised, Lina brought the boat ashore, directly opposite the Lizard Kingdom's radio-tower. Leo and Billy hurled the lines to the men on shore. When the boat was tied off, Billy dropped the ramp into the surf. Standing there in an asbestos wrap, Olesia stared at the water in terror. Conjuring a frozen walkway, Billy wasted not a moment before scooping the plump girl up and stepping off. Like the gentleman that he was, the big man carried the young princess over the raging surf and up onto the beach.

As the young hero set the plump girl on her feet once more, he found himself staring an angry Lizard-Princess in the eye. _Great,_ thought Billy. Already on her shit-list. Over another girl. Nonetheless, the hero offered her a deep bow. "Your Highness," he offered. "The Privy Council sends its regards." Hamest, the Lizard Princess, gave him an ironic look. Up on the boat, an irritated Leo Pedersen turned to the other elemental, stretched out his arms, and announced, "c'mon, Tom..." Yup, he was carryin' the dude.

As Leo and Tom disembarked, and Lina got their boat secured, Billy checked in with their hosts. Not even bothering to wait for the others, he motioned for Hamest to lead the way. "What're we looking at," he asked? The Lizard Princess was staring at Olesia. "Hey," he said. "I need to know what I'm fighting." Hamest's face snapped around to his, a frown twisting her features, and her skin turned a deep purple. "How many," he asked? "Lives are on the line."

That snapped her out of her mood. Her kingdom was in danger! "I don't know," she admitted. "It's... It's like last year... When the starving were coming over the mountains..." Billy felt his hackles go up. Just like when Suadela's Dipped were herding people into Lizard Kingdom to start a catastrophic war. His senses were on fire now. "Ok," he said. "I'm handling this. Go back to your palace and bunker down. I'll be meeting with your Captain of the Guard." Hamest glanced to the younger woman one more time. "Princess Olesia," said Billy, "please accompany Princess Hamest back to her palace." Olesia gave a start, then, after getting a look at his face, agreed, "of course, Lord."

Having dealt with the idiocy of the evening, Billy turned and headed diagonally up the beach towards the Lizard Guard's headquarters. He could already see that, in spite of the cooling weather, the lizard-folk were out patrolling. "Need more wall," he thought. This place, sited out on the beach as it was, was hard to defend. The only good news that they had was the harvest had already been brought in. They wouldn't be fighting over the fields. They still had to keep the invaders out of the city proper and away from the granaries out on the beach, but that was an easier row to hoe than protecting hundreds to thousands of acres of cropland.

As he walked, the big man considered the weather. It was cool enough that ice would last a good long while if he conjured some. It wasn't like the high mountain passes, though. He could have bottled them up for _months_ , maybe _years_ , up there. Ice down here at the beach would take much less time to melt. More to the point, he planned to use Olesia and Tom for the shock-effect. That wasn't going to work well with ice. The irritating thing was that so little had gotten done since the last time he was here. Hamest had done nothing to safeguard her kingdom! He wanted to belt her.

Pedersen, Lina, and Tom found him in the Lizard Guard's headquarters. The big man was pouring over maps of the town, and he didn't look happy. Moving in alongside him, Leo Pedersen asked, "what're we dealing with?" Grimly, Billy said, "there's thousands of them. Maybe tens of thousands. They raided a couple of the outlying villages... Overran both. Lots of people dead, from the sounds, but nobody's sure. One or two guys broke free and ran here." "Defenses," Pedersen asked, though he clearly already knew the answer. "Half a wall," Billy muttered.

Drawing his subordinate's eyes to the map in front of him, Billy said, "they needed the wall to go all the way down to the water... maybe even out into the sea for a good stretch. Instead, it stops at the top of the beach." Lina opined, "but at least it goes that far. We can defend the city. We can close off these gaps with rubble or something, and we can keep the tide at bay." Nodding in agreement, Billy said, "problem is the _food_ is out there. Granaries. Smokehouses. It's all out there on the beach." Unprotected. They could keep the lizards from being flattened. Only they'd be _starving_ shortly after. Pedersen sighed. A city under siege with no food was a city that was already conquered.

Lina chuckled, "soldiers! You're too quick to think of violence, when there's other ways." Her husband and his best friend stared at her. "I didn't bring my land-rover because it was _convenient_! Let me work this!" Frowning only a little, Billy asked, "you sure?" Lina nodded. He couldn't forget the Tesla barrier, or the other wonderful things the Grid-Face people had come up with. "Ok," he said. "I'm'a go look in on Hamest and see what else she knows." "Have a nice time," Lina announced. Billy glared at her, but said nothing as he made his way to the door. Lina found both Tom and Leo staring at her. With a smirk on her face, the tall beauty said, "c'mon. Let's be about it."

Billy headed up to the palace. He wanted to look in on Olesia and see what she'd heard. At the same time, he also wanted to pick Hamest's brain to find out if there were any other shoes waiting to drop. He wasn't really looking forward to the latter piece of things. Hamest was already showing the signs of jealousy, which was crazy on its face. She knew he was married. And she was old enough to be his mom, for globsake! At least he would have point that part out if all three of his wives weren't also old enough to be his mom. _Fuck,_ he thought. _How did I get here?!_

The palace was mostly quiet when he arrived, and he went straight up into the Princess's private quarters, leaving word with the majordomo regarding where his friends were and when he expected them to arrive. His mind was going in half a dozen different directions as he made the trip. He was thinking of Anders and how he would do in school. He was thinking of Simon. He'd have to focus his biological son and help him understand that Anders was going to inherit the Froyo Kingdom. And he would have to steer his daughter to something safe and useful since he was bound and determined that, unless Anders proved to be a fuckup, Freja wasn't going to crowd the line just because she was a girl.

Knocking on Hamest's door, he waited only a couple of moments before opening the door and walking in. There on the far side, he found the pretty princess pacing–and wearing something slinky with a plunging neckline in glittering green scales. Not for the first time did he think his dad had the devil's luck. He'd been born into a time where the world of Ooo was populated with some of the most beautiful women in history, and, shockingly, they were all aging pretty fucking well. Hamest was no different. She was the definition of 'cougar' with perky, medium-sized breasts, curvy-yet-slim figure, and still-flat tummy. He wasn't really sure if it was her species or something else, but she didn't seem to have developed wrinkle-the-first, though her eyes were a little bloodshot, possibly from crying or something.

Striding forward, he said, "ok. What's happening? The guards suggested I talk to you." The princess countered with, "who's the girl?" "Princess Olesia Okonski," Billy retorted. "I introduced the two of you. Remember?" Hamest glared at him, her jealousy nakedly on display. Striding towards her, he said, "I don't have time for games, Your Highness. This is serious. What am I looking at? And why hasn't anything gotten done?" The princess glanced away, and her skin changed colors like a sick chameleon, which was par for the course with her. It was pretty easy to see when he'd gotten the upper hand with a girl who tended to change colors like a... well... lizard.

"We're not builders," she muttered. "The sand shifts, and I've been told that anything we try to build there will fall. I've been trying to hire experts." "You should have said something," Billy rumbled. "I didn't expect an invasion," she retorted. "I'm not made of money." "No," he agreed. "You're made of vanity and jealousy, same as every other girl." Her face snapped around, her skin going a deep, deep purple, as she gawked at him, jaw hanging.

That lasted only long enough for her to see that he was teasing her. Stepping into his space, she threw herself on him, saying, "they cooked them! They cooked my people!" In moments, she was crying on his shoulder. Now he understood the urgency. Hugging her, letting her cry on his shoulder, he said, "this won't stand. I'm here now, and I will not allow that to happen." Sniffing back tears, she looked up into his handsome face at those soft words. Billy tried a smile on her. It was kinda' crazy the way her face had gone as pale as his. Her whole upper body was a pale, creamy white, while her tail was still a pale purple.

He wasn't prepared for her to try kissing him. The moment had seemed too serious for that. Looking back later, he would realize that she was reacting the way most women did. Abeiuwa, much as she played the tough-girl, would do the same thing when she was distraught like this. Breaking that kiss, she murmured, "why don't you like me? You like that girl..." Blushing, Billy retorted, "Olesia's not my girlfriend! If I tried it, I'd burn my dick off! I couldn't exactly let her get washed away in the surf!" It was annoying and crazy, and Billy wondered how his dad had the patience anymore.

The wench tried again, breaking down when Billy tried to push her away. He ended up holding her while she cried on him. "Why don't you like me," she wailed?! He felt like a heel. It was almost instinctive with some girls. Buying safety with the greatest weapon they had. "Hamest," he whispered. "You don't need to do this..." Right about then, she upped the stakes. Reaching back, the princess unfastened the knot at the back of her neck, letting her dress fall off her perky boobies. Stepping back, as that slinky, silvery dress slid lower and lower, revealing her hips and flat tummy, the princess murmured, "why don't you like me?"

It was about as stupid a question as he'd ever heard when his pecker wanted to jump out of his jeans at her. She was put together nice–a beautiful woman _still_ , even if she was old enough to be his mom. His dad had made out with this girl for hours. The only thing he hadn't done was fuck her. He'd had his hands on those perky tits, which was a little weird for Billy, but no weirder than the fact that he'd had his hands on Ragnhild's knobs and Abeiuwa's knockers too. Ragnhild had all but admitted sucking Finn the Human's dick when they were teens. A corner of his mind said, _take one for the team, Bill. This isn't that bad._

The big man slipped his arms around her and pulled her close. The pretty princess took his big right hand and put it on the curve of her left butt-cheek. She was wearing a g-string, of course. He imagined she kind of had to with the tail and all. She was a decent kisser, he found, as he took a tour of that fantastic body. Lean and trim, like she worked the fields herself, the lizard-girl had fantastic skin. He'd honestly been expecting skin like sand-paper or something. He could tell she was _different_ , but not unpleasantly different.

Reaching up with his left hand, as the kissed, he got a handle on one of those perky knobs, caressing it and stroking it. Breaking that kiss, she practically melted into his embrace as she sighed softly. Eyes closed, her breath coming in soft gasps, she let him stroke and caress her beautiful body as much as he wanted. Of course, on the flipside of the coin, Billy was a little heated-up himself. He'd spent months getting little or nothing from the wives. Then said wives had been in-and-out of town, trying to run their kingdoms on semi-autopilot. And then he'd been cooped up in Lina's truck with Lina and Olesia for days on end. It wasn't exactly like he didn't _notice_ Olesia. It was impossible to un-see those titties. More than once he'd thought about taking his chances with a burnt-up dick. He wanted pussy. He'd just been unwilling to do damage to his life to get it.

Now, as he faced the prospect of getting his dick wet, it was an effort not to just throw her down and do the deed. That was another lesson from his dad. If you were going to fuck up and get naked with one of these birds, it was best to do a good job at it so they didn't want to cut your balls off afterwards. Spinning Hamest around, the young hero slid his arms around her waist, easing his right hand into her abbreviated panties, where he began to tease her horny snatch. At the same time, he lipped and sucked on her neck, as if he intended to give her a hickey. With his left hand, he continued to caress and stroke Hamest's perky titties. They had a little sag to them, but he would almost have called them _perfect_.

The lizard-girl herself was in heaven. She'd sat in her bath for an hour at a time day-dreaming of this and playing with herself. There had been moments where she'd been _angry_ at Finn for just running off on her. He'd gotten her hot enough to all but beg. And then he blipped back out of her kingdom as if the whole thing never happened! Later on, she'd come to realize a little of what he'd realized then. He was too young to be a daddy, and she'd been playing with fire herself. Unfortunately, nothing quite seemed the same after that. Finn seemed almost to have become _afraid_ of establishing a relationship, and the distance only grew as he got older.

Billy picked the lizard girl up, knowing how girls liked that. Carrying her across the room, he juggled her there a moment as he fumbled open the door to her bedchamber. Slipping inside, he found himself in an almost unbearably warm space that seemed to have been heated up to stifling temperatures. _Lizard, Bill,_ he reminded himself. She liked it warm. Approaching the bed, the big man lay the horny princess in it and then turned to the job of getting out of all the gear he'd come packed with. While Hamest watched and played with herself, licking her lips with that long, black tongue of hers, the warrior-wizard shed his jacket, the heavy armor plates it concealed, a trove of knives, a small pistol that Cherry had given him, and a heavy broadsword. Only then did he join his companion on the bed.

Untieing the g-string, he snatched it off her slim hips and tossed it aside. As the princess squealed, he dove in, getting to grips with her snatch. "B-B-Billy," she howled! A corner of his mind feared the consequences of doing too good a job. It was every kind of crazy, but he was afraid she'd get hooked on _him_ like she'd gotten hooked on his dad before. Life had been so much more _simple_ before his dad went and _saved the world_.

"I... I need you," she whined, as her hips wriggled under his touch. "I... Stop doing that and... get up here..." Her wish was his command. Apparently, she was looking for more than a little oral action. Climbing up over her, the big man fished out his fat pecker. Pressing the thick tip against her opening, the hung hero shoved it in. Her hips jumped, and her fingers clawed bits of meat out of his arms, as he belatedly realized two things. One, Hamest apparently had been a virgin. And two, she had fucking claws in the tips of her fingers.

Thinking fast, the young hero pinned the cougar's hands up against the headboard. He was already bleeding all over the place, and he couldn't help thinking that maybe his dad had gotten a gander at those claws and decided 'no thanks'. Billy's mom and grandmom were known to claw the shit out of him as it was, and Billy knew that the Lamprey Princess had left his dad with nasty, venom-filled gashes all over his back.

As Hamest wailed and squealed, the big man plugged her insistently. Driving deeper and deeper, he held those hands high over her head, while she went ape beneath him. Taking one for the team had never quite felt this good before. The hard moral core of him knew he shouldn't be _enjoying_ this, but he couldn't really help it. How often did you bang a virgin? Skin changing colors almost continually, Hamest wrapped her long, lean legs around him, her thighs pulling on his hips insistently. "Billllyyyy," she wailed! "Ooooooaaaaa!" He could feel her getting off, and that set him off too. Throwing his head back, he shouted a hearty, "fuck yeah!" as he shot his wad.

Climbing off the nasty cougar, he lay down at her side and pulled her to him. "I'm going to keep those guys away from you," he whispered. "Get some sleep. I'll send somebody up when I'm ready to talk." She didn't really want him to go. At the same time, she needed him to put some kind of defense together. With a heavy sigh, she said, "I'll see you tomorrow." "Yeah," he said. "Tomorrow morning."

Climbing back into his clothes, Billy left the older woman sleeping in her bed. Stepping out in the hall, he came face to face with Olesia. Billy's face went red-hot. He hadn't even thought about where she was or what she might have heard. As if she hadn't heard him banging the Lizard Princess, Olesia Okonski stepped forward, carrying her wrap, as she said, "I did what I could to soothe her feelings. I guess we can get to work now." That helped Billy not at all, and his blush went deeper if anything. Turning away, the plush princess went striding up the hall towards the entry, big butt wiggling back and forth rhythmically with every step she took. It helped not at all that Billy still would have risked burning his pecker for a piece of that.

 **Finn is working hard to catch the Bandit Princess, as Gemma baits a trap for the Huntress. And Billy learns to stop worrying and love Cougar Pussy.**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:

"Do you _have_ to go?"

It wasn't the sexy, see-through gown, honestly, though that didn't help much. It wasn't even the bad bod. It was that wheedling tone. Patrick found himself wanting to _melt_. He wanted to pull the little woman into his arms and hold her and make the terrors of the night go away. She'd confided that her father–indeed her whole family–had been _murdered_ in cold blood. She'd been doing her best just to keep her little kingdom going when every ugly character within two-hundred miles was itching to move in. She needed him. She needed his power to protect her people. She had him captivated.

Of course, things were complicated. Things were about as complicated as it got. If it wasn't the whole, weird eskimo-brothers thing with Thor, it was the fact that Fionna was going to kill him. Patrick wasn't sure how he could face her. He wasn't really sure how he could face his _mom_! A part of him thought that it was ok. _Finn_ was doing it, right? On the flipside of the coin, his morals were screaming at him. This wasn't right.

While he was fighting with his conscience, Cerelia got down on her knees and reached for his fly. The girl could suck a golf-ball through a mile of garden-hose. Patrick went weak when she unzipped him and reached for his pecker. Licking his meat, the nasty young girl said, "are you sure you want to go, Patrick?" Patrick groaned for response. As she worked him over, causing his soldier to rise to the occasion, she teased him, saying, "I'm not sure you should leave, just yet. What're you going to do for yourself when you get down the road? Use your hand?" That was almost too much, and he almost got up, but when she sucked him hard enough to hurt, Patrick gave in.

Thor came in just then, announcing, "I got the truck load..." He stopped short on the other side of the door. They'd talked about this. They'd talked about Cerelia and her pheremones, and how important it was not to stay inside with her. They'd talked about their escape plan, and how they were going to get outside and get back in their truck. They'd talked about dealing with the horny princess in the inn's common room, where there were other Purple-folk, and she dared not use her pheremones. With a dozen other women in the room, they would have been canceling each other out, letting the two men escape. Patrick had gone inside for 'one last thing', and he'd been stupid enough to go upstairs apparently. Thor had hoped she'd still be in bed, but that appeared to have been a vain hope.

Raising up from going down on Patrick, the nasty slut turned to Thor and murmured, "oh. I was afraid you'd gone. Why don't you come over and sit down?" The big man stood right where he was. The pheremones were working their magic on him. He could feel them stealing his wits. It wasn't as strong now as when he'd come into this, horny as fuck and hungry for pussy. It was still strong enough that he found himself hungering for her. He was sweating. He could feel the sweat beading up on his forehead as Cerelia rose and strode across the room.

Patrick felt a bit of a change as the little princess crossed the room. His mind began to clear. It was only when she was standing in front of Thor that he realized that she'd used her pheremones on him. He could get up now. He could get up, but he still felt like his head was full of mush, and his pants were down around his ankles, and if he got up and walked to the door, he'd walk right into her influence again. The moment passed as Cerelia shut the door and led Thor back across the room and bade him sit down beside Patrick.

Hundreds of miles to the east, Billy looked out over the future battlefield with a worried expression on his face. Olesia had used her limited powers of flight to get a look at what was coming their way, and the reports she'd given him were enough to raise his hackles. There were a _lot_ of them. They were coming on strong in their thousands. While there were a fair number of women, many were men of fighting age. They were looking at the kind of army that could plow one of the civilized kingdoms under. Maybe _several_ of the civilized kingdoms. This was everything Finn had feared when he proposed relocating the Tesla Barriers. They'd seen a little of this in the East with the men Shrimp Boy and his allies were stirring up. Now the same trouble was here in the west.

And Billy? He now wished his father was _here_. He'd gone into the business in the east thinking that he was working the issue of getting his father to consider retiring. Finally. He was working his dad up to stepping down from the business of handling these little crises. Now he saw that, much as he'd studied, he _wasn't_ ready for this. Not by a mile.

Hand clad in an asbestos glove, Olesia Okonski stroked his hand, murmuring, "whatever you need from me..." Billy's face snapped around to find the plump girl standing there with a calm expression on her face as if she did this every day. He was starting to like her more and more. "Stay loose and ready," he said.

Stepping off, he headed over to where Lina was tinkering with the machine she'd been building for most of last night. She'd more or less torn apart their boat already, salvaging the engines. She'd run Leo ragged, racing all over town, gathering up every bit of iron they could scavenge. Then she'd put Tom and Olesia to work, melting their finds down into the finest iron wire she could make. That had gotten built up into the machine she'd presented Billy with this morning.

She called it the Area Denier. Leo called it the Fly-Swatter. Billy called it Fucking Genius. The machine would generate waves of heat strong enough to be unpleasant to those who came within a few hundred feet of it, chasing them off without actually harming them. It was the sort of war-machine a pacifist would create, and Billy found himself wanting to kiss the tall girl. This was exactly what they needed. It was a way to chase off the strangers. At the same time, he could keep his father's promise. No more death. No more war.

They had the north end of the beach covered. They had troops manning the walls with the Lizard Cavalry waiting in the wings under Leo's command to rush to any place where the enemy managed to get over the walls. And he had Tom and Olesia in reserve, just in case. Billy had ordered the lizards to build small fires all over town, enabling Olesia and Tom to move around the town at will. They were about as ready as they were going to get. "The scouts say they'll be here within a few hours," Hamest murmured.

Billy sighed heavily as he glanced over at the former forty-year-old virgin. He wasn't sure what to think about that. It was creepy to think of himself as a surrogate for his father, but he could see it was true. Hamest had, apparently, never gotten over that night. Boyfriends had come and gone, and she'd been reluctant to so much as kiss one. But Finn the Human was a tough act to follow, wasn't he? Billy had felt inadequate a couple of times himself in the last couple of years–usually when he found himself torn between the needs of the world and the needs of his family.

Turning to face her, he took her hands and said, "I will give them the chance to leave peaceably. If they don't, they'll die." She shivered at the way he said that. Stroking her cheek, he said, "go to the palace. Wait for me there. You'll be safer. It may be ugly for a while." Face flushed, she nodded. With a little shiver, she turned to go. "You really have an effect on the ladies," Lina teased. Billy flushed himself. Still, it was time to move on. He dispatched Lina to the beach to man her machine, and he sent Leo off with the cavalry. He sat himself down where he was. "I'm'a get a head start," Tom announced, as he set off for the other side of town. When he'd gone, Billy found himself alone with Olesia.

He was still a little embarrassed about what she'd seen and heard last night. When he opened his mouth to say something, the plump girl, announced, "I'll go and see where they are... Turn around, please..." Billy had just that little bit of notice, and then she was shedding the dress she was wearing. The big man spun around to avoid the embarrassment of ogling her, while she was naked. "Be right back," she declared. When Billy turned around again, she was gone, having walked out through the torch that hung on the battlement to one of the bonfires staged in the wilderness.

The warrior-wizard stayed that way for more than an hour, occasionally looking out on the world beyond the walls. There was so much that was broken on Ooo right now, and he found he understood his dad's despair at ever getting it all straightened out. You could spend a lifetime running around trying to fix it all and maybe still fail! A part of him couldn't help thinking that it was a pity his dad didn't sow the oats more when he was young. Billy could have used some help. A half-dozen brothers and sisters would have helped them put a dent in things.

"What're you thinking about," announced Olesia? Billy glanced towards the sound of her voice and stopped himself halfway there as he realized she might well be naked. With an impish laugh, she said, "they're on their way. There's a lot, William. You'd best be on your A-game today." Turning slowly towards the sound of her voice once more, he got a glimpse of her face there in the flames of the torch. "Okay," he said. "Get back here soon as you can, ok?" "Before or after you turn your back," she asked? Billy blushed, then quickly stammered, "after." And he spun away from the torch.

The sound of the flames crackling rose in volume, and then he heard the soft rustle of cloth. "Ok," she said. "I'm decent." The big man turned to face her once more, finding her standing there holding her bodice in place over those giant knockers. Billy flushed to his hair and quickly glanced away, saying, "I-I'll see you in a bit. I'm'a go check in with the Captain of the Guard." Her giggles followed him down the wall-walk. Girls. He wasn't sure he'd ever understand them the way his dad did.

Back across the sea, Patrick Petrikov found himself once again giving Cerelia the old In-and-Out, while Thor plugged her from the other end. The nasty little princess had gobbled up two loads from Patrick already, and she was working on getting a third. Thor, meanwhile, was jamming his fat dong into her south-end, making her round butt jiggle with every jab of the stick. In spite of the sensual whirlwind of getting an illicit blowjob from the lady of the town, Patrick knew he needed to stop this. It wasn't even the fact that he was cheating on Fi, though that was pretty fucking awful. Their stuff was out in the truck! They had been here for over and hour, and their stuff was sitting out in the truck unguarded, while they played hide-the-salami!

With a groan, Thor shoved his meat in deep, and Patrick knew he was shooting off. Somewhat sated, the big man pulled out his pecker. Shaking himself, he said, "w-we should go... Our stuff's in the car." It was the same thing Patrick had been thinking. Cerelia slipped her lips off of Patrick's whang and burbled, "no! Don't go! Stay a little longer!" Patrick murmured, "if we don't leave, C, it'll be too late to get on the road... Babe, we gotta' go..." Just then, Cherry announced, "it's later than you think, Mr. Petrikov." Patrick, who'd just been about to blow, glanced up to see his sister-in-law and Cherry both standing there in the doorway. His dong went from hard-as-a-rock to limp-noodle in about three seconds flat.

The chaos and shouting started then as Cerelia went scrambling for the clothing she'd discarded, while Cherry trained a pistol on her, telling her to stop right where she was. "H-how dare you," the princess demanded?! "Guards!" As the little princess shouted for her soldiers, Star came striding across the room, pregnant belly swaying with every step, and slapped her so hard, _Patrick_ felt it. Indeed, Star grabbed Cerelia by her long, black hair and looked perilously like she'd pull it out by the roots. She all but dragged the younger girl back across the room and threw her, naked, at Cherry's feet.

"What happened to Bertoli, kid," she demanded? "That cocksucker owes me a pile of money." Cerelia howled, "they killed my daddy! That bitch killed my daddy and threw me to her guards!" Patrick opened his mouth to intervene, but Cherry coldly told him, "pull your pants up, kid. You look like a fool." As Patrick and Thor both pulled their pants up, Cherry launched into an interrogation of the terrified princess.

It all came spilling out. The mystery woman her dad had brought home. The men who'd stormed their house while he was _busy_. The moment the mystery woman came out carrying Prince Bertoli's head and threw it in his son's lap. "I-I've been giving them everything," Cerelia wailed. "She took all the money we had. I don't have anything left. I had to give the King the rest." When Patrick sought to intervene again, Star silenced him with a look. Cherry, who now occupied the chair near the door, demanded, "what else have you been giving this woman, kid? Who is she?" When the girl hesitated to speak, Star drew one of her momma's deadly arrows, shouting, "you think we're playing?!" For Cerelia, things were shaping up for another very long day.

Later that same day, Billy found himself watching in growing worry and unease as thousands upon thousands of people came marching up out of the wilderness. Olesia had kept him apprised of their progress in her uncanny way. Billy had sweated the hours out as the horde got closer and closer and then closer still. He'd had to respond to a couple of frightened inquiries from the palace already, but he feared Hamest's reaction to what he was seeing in front of him now.

As the young hero watched, the horde came in close, stopping within a bow-shot of the outer walls. Billy could sense the fear around him, and he found himself wondering how many nameless towns in the wastes had emptied out to produce _this_. Steadying up, he wove a spell and shouted to the oncoming mass, declaring, "stay where you are! You aren't welcome here! If you go back north to the barrier, you will be _fed_! The King of Ooo..." "You walled us out," came a shout! "You kept us from the food! We know you've got it! Now we'll take it! We'll take your lives too!"

It was an ugly threat, and Billy went straight at the talker, shouting, "I'll have the names of the men who resorted to butchering and cannibalism! They're going to be punished! The rest can go!" "You think you can stop us," shouted the man in the crowd?! He made it sound absurd. "I'm Billy the Human," the big man replied. "You better believe I can stop you." He wasn't sure if that gave them pause or not. Nobody responded, and nobody moved forward. That was better than the alternative.

Just when he was considering trying to coax them to go back north one more time, the pack started moving, as one, towards the west. He knew exactly what they were doing. They were going for the opening in the wall. Drawing his phone, he sent a message to Lina. It was time for her to go into action. Down at the beach, the cyborg girl climbed aboard her strange contraption. Flicking a couple of switches, she powered the unit up and sent it lurching into motion on a half-dozen spindly legs.

Stepping carefully over the soft sand of the beach, Lina scanned the distant army. There were a lot of them. There were enough that she was now unsure of her own plan. She'd seen piles of mutants overwhelm such a weapon before. If they had enough of a crowd behind them, even if the pain was unbearable, it might not be possible for them to disengage and run. _Forwards, Lina,_ she thought. The alternative was unacceptable. These sick bastards would massacre the Lizard-folk and _eat them_!

The crowd of humanoids didn't know quite what they were witnessing as the machine edged forward. Lina soon gave them to understand just what it was that they were seeing. Setting the machine to its lowest setting, she sent pulses of painful heat into the packed mass, stopping them in their tracks. They wavered there a moment, and she knew they were wondering if that itchy/too-warm feeling was _real_. She knew exactly what they were thinking because she'd been subjected to this herself–to get a feel for what it could and couldn't do for you. Now, as the horde made up their minds, she turned the dial up a few notches. Then, as their leaders harangued them to go forward, she dialed it up again.

Small groups broke off then, racing to get away. Others kept on moving closer, forcing her to dial the machine up to three-quarters of its maximum power. That _did_ manage to get them moving, as several large clumps broke off, forcing their leaders to go chasing after them. The rest moved east once more. As she watched them–and kept an eye on the break-aways–the lovely cyborg-woman dialed up her hubby. "Leo," she said, "Comin' your way." "Yes, dear," he said, "and thanks."

The strangers announced themselves at the main gate with a battering ram. They were greeted by the Lizard cavalry, who'd run around the south-west end of the wall and into the open terrain south of the city. Leo was in the lead, standing tall in the saddle as his cavalry rushed into the breech, wielding spears and bows, as they laid into the enemy. He was torn. He knew Lina hated war and bloodshed, and he knew all about King Finn's determination to end violence on Ooo. At the same time, these were the tools he knew. He didn't have a fancy machine to keep Hamest's people safe. He only had his trusty sword and pistol.

The Lizard Guard waded on in, slashing through the disorganized mass, with their riding-lizards wreaking havoc of their own as they slashed and snapped at anything that got close. Some of the strangers got trampled. Other's got shredded by flailing lizard-claws. Still others were shot or stabbed as the cavalry tore through. Wheeling about on the far side, Leo went ripping through them again and then he did it again.

By the third assault, the enemy had regained their composure, and the opposition was intense enough that the Lizard-Guard broke the engagement off and went running for the gates. Leo could hear the enemy leadership behind them shouting for the invaders to give chase. They were going to try and breach the gates while the Lizard-Guard were bottled up there trying to escape. Of course, Leo had thought of that already.

Stopping before the gates, the Lizard-Guard traded bow-fire with their foes, felling men by the dozens. Closer those people came and then closer still. And then, just as the lizard-folk were getting nervous–and the enemy was finding the range–Leo gave the order to retreat. As the enemy came rushing up after them, the cavalry went riding up and over the wall, aided by their mount's sticky feet. Almost immediately the guards on the wall came up and began pouring bow-fire and boiling oil down on the enemy's heads.

That _did_ break the charge, and the enemy retreated, rushing back the way they'd come. Unfortunately, just as Billy had feared, they didn't leave. They simply moved back out of range. They were going to stand and fight. And more precious lives were going to be lost. "Fuck," he muttered. They weren't going to make this an easy job at all. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want this to be a bloody massacre, but the Lizard people didn't deserve to be murdered and eaten either.

Back in Bormio, Cerelia was in the process of spilling her guts. As Thor and Patrick watched, Cherry prized information out of the hapless noble–information Cerelia scarcely knew she had. Firing questions at her like bursts of machine gun fire, the Mafia Princess learned all sorts of interesting tidbits about the men who'd hit the Candy Palace and their employers. Cerelia had been told to give the soldiers who'd come through anything they needed. She'd given them food and fuel for their vehicles. She'd given them the run of the town, which they'd used to essentially run amok for a couple of days before moving on. She'd heard them say they were moving on to Emerald Kingdom, heading south and east through the wilds east of Laurel Kingdom to get there. Their paymaster was there with the money they were to receive.

"Were there women with them," Cherry demanded? "Did they have prisoners?" "N-no," stammered the purple-person. "I-it was just a bunch of soldiers. I never saw anybody else." She'd seen more than she wanted of them. They'd beaten up her old boyfriend and left him laying in the hospital, and they'd set fire to several homes along with abusing some of the peasant girls from neighboring farms. She'd only been spared because they'd been told not to touch her.

"Alright, _princess_ ," growled Cherry, as she tossed the robe Cerelia had been wearing in the young woman's face. "I'll be in touch. You _owe_ me. Since these people have wronged you, they'll be sanctioned." Patrick shivered at the cold way she said that. She meant murder. Cherry intended to murder these guys–not that Patrick wanted to stand in the way, mind you. They sounded like they deserved it. The young girl gathered up the clothing she'd been tossed and raced into the bedroom, slamming the door. "Get your shit together," said Cherry. "I want to look at some things before we leave here."

Rising from the chair she'd sat in, the Boss of Bosses blew out of there just like she'd blown in. Star, meanwhile, had crossed to Thor, who still knelt on the floor. "We're going to talk," she said. "Later." Without so much as a by-your-leave, she slapped him hard enough to be heard in the next room. Then she turned and followed Cherry out the door. The two hapless patsies shot to their feet, and, while Patrick wanted to look in on Cerelia, he knew better. The pair practically crowded the door in their rush to get out of that room.

Back in Lizard Kingdom, the five heroes were still battling the raiders for the survival of the Lizard-folk. Billy was rushing from place to place on the wall, rallying the troops to thwart storming parties, while Lina and Tom did their best to keep them from swarming through the gap at the beach. The body count was rising, and Billy was terrified that they'd end up having to kill them all. It was a monstrous idea that had his stomach churning. It helped not at all that the Ice-Tiara was there in the back of his mind egging him on.

The Tiara wanted him to use its power. He knew that as he knew his mother's name. His grand-dad had, ironically, been focused subconsciously on the evil side of the Ice-Crown when he'd conjured Simone Petrikova from his imagination. The Ice-Tiara he'd imagined was a far more sinister entity than the Crown was and always had been. Billy knew the consequences of using the Tiara's power, though. He was well and truly familiar with what the Tiara would do if it could control him. And that control was just a slippery-slope away if he began to rely on its power.

"What're you thinking," Olesia asked? "Thinking of going all in," he rumbled. The plump elemental frowned in puzzlement. She'd seen the handsome warrior-wizard do some pretty amazing things already. It seemed hard to believe that he was holding back. "I'm... I'm risking losing control," he admitted. "I'm not completely in control of this power, princess." Before she could open her mouth to admonish him against reckless risk, though, the swarms of people began to gather themselves again. They were like a flood–a flood that he was desperately trying to break somehow. Trouble was, he didn't want to kill them, and they were starting to realize that fact.

 _That's it,_ he thought. _That's the problem._ He was getting it wrong. His father showed mercy, but only _after_ showing that he could and _would_ kill you to a man. Mercy untempered by consequences was just as deadly as wrath untempered by mercy. "Stand back," Billy shouted! Olesia darted back. Calling on the power of the Tiara, Billy let it fill him, feeling his limbs grow chill. He felt his core-temperature drop to the point where his blood seemed like ice in his veins.

And then he began to fly.

The Ice King's heir soared into the sky, rising high over the city. For a moment, he let the power fill him. He floated there on the wind, feeling the air chill around him. On a warm fall day, snow began to fall from the sky. It was a scene the lizard-folk had never scene before. Indeed, the air was slowly chilling from the tips of Billy's feet to the ground below. Calling on the power of the Tiara, the young warrior shouted, "I warned you! I warned you that I'd kill you all if it came to that. My patience grows thin! I'll gladly slay the lot of you and leave your bones in the fields to fertilize the harvest!"

As he spoke, the people in that horde began to feel the cold. Floating downwards so he was more visible to them, he brought the chill with him, causing frost to coat the ground. The horde stopped where it was. Olesia focused her second-sight on the torches the invaders carried. They'd defiantly declared that they would burn the city and its food-stores if they couldn't have them. Now the elemental girl found herself watching their leaders–down in the pack–haranguing and entreating the horde to move. They thought Billy was bluffing, but she'd seen the look in his eyes just then. He'd been prepared to do them in–to kill them all. He was going all in–taking a terrible risk. She would do the same. She had to.

Billy could see them wavering. He could see them wavering between life and death. He could tell their leaders were ready to pursue this until doomsday. It felt as though they refused to be stopped. As the big man was screwing up his courage to commit mass-murder, a second sinister voice announced, "you can be burned by fire or ice. Take your pick..." Blasts of incandescent flame burst in strategic places amongst the packed masses. Billy glanced up to see a incandescent mote of fire blazing across the sky in slow, lazy circles. Olesia. She was burning herself up. They had to end this.

"Who else wants to die," he snarled?! Gesturing, he caused hundreds of men in the first rank to freeze solid, coating them in ice a foot thick. It was horrific bloodshed–the sort of thing that kept Leo Pedersen up at night. He'd thought Billy had power, and this was horrifying confirmation. Mercifully, the horde began to melt away then. The continuing concussive blasts of Olesia's hellfire harrying them on their way.

Fearful of the damage he might cause in his current condition, Billy turned for the beach, alighting from the sky with a thud, looking as if he were barely in control. When Lina might have run to him, Leo held her back. He'd seen what the Ice Crowns could do firsthand on the Lich's island. Billy knelt there a moment, and there was madness in his eyes. "Are you alright," announced a familiar voice. Forcing the Ice Tiara out of his mind, Billy turned towards the sound of Olesia's voice, intending to thank her.

The big man felt his mouth come open as he caught sight of the plump girl standing there in the altogether. His mind was blown, and all he could think was, _wow!_ A corner of his mind thought of Phoebe. His dad was hittin' that. He'd kind of puzzled over how it was possible to bang a chick made of fire, but he'd gotten himself used to that. He had a half-brother and sister after all. Olesia erased all the puzzlement from his mind. Her power spent almost to nothing, the younger woman was shockingly solid. The young princess was all woman–with broad, curvy hips, a slight paunch to her stomach, and big, pendulous knockers that defied gravity. All the parts were there in their proper places. He found himself drooling for a moment. And that was when Lina swooped in and threw a rough tarp over Olesia's shoulders. Spell broken, Billy quickly turned away.

Just then, Hamest blew onto the scene. The Lizard Princess rushed in and threw herself on Billy the Human, declaring, "I was so worried..." Billy tried to push her away, declaring, "you shouldn't be so close. I'm dangerous to you right now." He knew his body was bitterly cold. And, if that wasn't enough, he also had a huge fucking boner from ogling Olesia's bad body–a condition she _had_ to feel. "I don't give a damn for that," Hamest murmured, as she pressed her body in tight against his. He could _feel_ body heat leeching out of her and into his body. Taking her wrists, he pulled her hands away from his, showing her that she was perilously close to getting frostbite. "Hamest," he pleaded. "Go back to the palace. I'll see you tonight... Let me get this all cleaned up, and I'll see you later. After I've... gotten back to normal."

Heart in her eyes, the Lizard Princess stared at him for a few minutes. After a few moments, she nodded. Billy let her go, and she went back to her carriage and climbed aboard. Billy turned his attention back to his companions. "How's the machine," he asked? "It's on the ragged edge," Lina replied, "but with the junk those idiots left, I think I can get it back together and maybe build a second." Nodding, Billy said, "we'll have to do something. We chased them off, but there's enough that maybe they might come back." And they couldn't stay. They had to get back on the trail of Princess Nieve.

Turning to Olesia, Billy apologized for ogling her. The plump princess gave him a sweet smile and asked, "did we do well?" "We hurt more than I'd like," he admitted, "but it went better than I'd feared." "I can handle a little staring," she said. Striding closer, the plump girl said, "this might help you." He could _feel_ the Ice Tiara's rage, but the feel of her body heat actually did help him. "Thanks," he offered. "Thanks for all your help, Princess. I'm glad you came with us." Lina grinned as the plump girl flushed to her blazing hair. Yeah, she was his. He just had to call it.

Near to hand, the lizard-folk found themselves fighting with the preternatural cold that their savior had brought to their city. Many looked to the other elemental as a way to beat the chill, and Tom found himself surrounded. "Ok," burbled Tom, as he glanced at the lizards crowding in on either side of him. "This is kinda' creepy." The sight of that had all of his companions howling laughter. Chuckling at Tom's discomfort, Billy said, "let's get this cleaned up. O? Where'd you leave your dress. I'll go get it..."

Late that evening, Billy returned to the palace with his companions to find a summons waiting on him. They'd been at it for hours, trying to organize a more permanent defense against the people coming out of the wastes. Not that Billy had been in a great hurry to come back here.

He'd been dreading this encounter. He knew exactly what Hamest was going to do when she saw him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to do the big dramatic scene with her. He didn't _want_ another woman in his life. He wasn't sure he was happy with what he had, and he was certain that she wouldn't be happy with _him_. A lizard-person and an ice-wizard? There was only one combination maybe worse than that.

His mind kept going back to Olesia. Standing there in all her glory. Yeah, she was a little plump, but fuck if he didn't want to bang the shit out of her. Knowing that his dad was hitting Phoebes on a regular basis–that Phoebes had twice ended up in a family-way–he _knew_ it was at least _possible_ to fuck the elemental girl. At the same time, he was terrified of the consequences. His little brother and sister almost hadn't made it to be born.

Folding the paper up, the big man turned to his companions and said, "better get ready to scoot come morning. We'll be driving out of here... I'm thinking up and over the mountains... Tom or Olesia can maybe melt the barrier up there if it's still in place. That should get us to Emerald Kingdom in maybe another week or so." Lina and Leo promised to do just as he'd asked, as Billy headed down the hall towards the private quarters.

Stopping outside the door, the big man would have knocked, but the guard on duty announced, "go on in... Her Highness said you should be admitted right away." Billy squared up, thinking of his father, ironically. His dad had ducked and dodged this a lot. Even after being essentially _told_ to do it, he'd dodged it as best he could. _Entanglements, Billy,_ he thought. His dad was trying to avoid the emotional entanglements that lonely girls like this tended to develop. His wives hadn't understood just what they were suggesting he do. Pump-and-dump a colleague. Billy feared that wasn't going to be enough with Hamest.

Stepping into the broiling-hot room beyond, he was almost immediately struck by the brutal heat inside. Stepping out from behind a screen, wearing something soft and sexy in see-through spider-silk, the Lizard Princess announced, "I thought it might help you... recover..." The heat had him ready to wilt. At the same time, what she was wearing had him hungry to fuck. It was another of the twisted ironies of his life. He was a dude, and she wasn't fucking bad to look at. He didn't _want_ to use her, but she made it damned hard to refuse. "Come and eat," she murmured, taking his arm. He couldn't help noticing the bandages on her hand, as she led him to the table.

The big man stopped her there in the middle of the room. Taking those hands, he brought them to his face and said, "Hamest... Do you understand what you're setting yourself up for with this... with me...? I'm dangerous for you... Do you understand that?" "I understand that I'm happy for once," she retorted. "I understand that well enough." Billy sighed heavily. He'd tried. He could say he tried. Taking her hands, he brought the injured palms to his lips and kissed them. Taking her by the wrist, he drew her over to the heavily laden dinner table and sat down, pulling her into his lap.

The pretty blonde snuggled in against him, as he began to work his way through dinner. They shared dinner that way, nibbling off of his plate, while they talked softly. He wasn't sure when or if he'd ever be back this way, and he made sure she understood that. He had... _commitments_. It was another ugly reminder of the world his father found himself in. Always racing and running. _He's managing it, Bill,_ the young man thought. _You have to figure this out. You have no choice. Noemi, Rags, and Abieuwa can't be at your side all the time._ And his kids would likely end up with their moms. He had to figure out how to raise a pack of kids when he was bouncing in and out of their lives.

As they got to the bottom of the plate, Hamest made it clear that she was hungry for something else. Turning to face him, she pressed her lips to his, teasing his mouth with that rough little tongue. He'd heard the term 'lizard-kisser', but honestly he didn't mind this one. His hand stroked her long, lean leg. As his fingers glided across her skin, it would slowly turn a soft, pale white and then go back to normal when his fingers had passed. He could feel her body-heat leeching into him a little, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before. The Ice Tiara was letting go of him. Slowly.

The young prince stroked her back, feeling minute bumps there. It made him think of all his dad's various lovers. Phoebes and Nadia and Bonnie herself. And Cherry. His dad was fucking the little soda-pop girl, which was weird on its face. She looked like a walking statue of frozen soda–a statue with big freakin' knobs. And Bonnie was made of _candy_. Shoko had kissed him on the lips once when they were kids, and she'd tasted like pineapple bubblegum! And of course the closest Finn had come to something like this was the Lamprey Princess. Billy couldn't imagine what Sheila was like in the sack. Well, he hadn't until now.

Billy's right hand caressed her inner thighs, causing her to shiver and tremble. Her butt was wriggling around on his lap, telling him she was getting into this. Pulling her nighty open, he stroked her perky left booby with his other hand, causing her to moan softly. "More," she whined. Sliding his hand up her thigh, Billy rubbed the back of his knuckle against her snatch, hunting her joy-button. When he found it, her hands clenched on his wrist, the talons sinking in deep. Billy bit back a yelp of pain in favor of reaching down and unfastening her hands from his arm. He would have to do something about that.

Picking the lizard-girl up, he carried her into the bedroom and kicked the door shut behind him. Laying her there on the bed, he jerked the case off one of the girly pillows the bed was decorated with and tied Hamest's wrists to the bed-frame. It was just like JJ. It was a little weird to be thinking of that, but he couldn't help the thought.

Now, with her immobilized and right where he wanted her, Billy began to stroke and caress her body, teasing her perky, pointy tits, causing her skin to shift colors from red to purple to white and back, while her nips popped, standing out hard from her knobs. Leaning down, he flicked the right one with his tongue before going full-contact with it, sucking on it hard enough to make her squeal. Her hips were wriggling around again, as he began to stroke her snatch through her damp panties.

Soft cries left her lips as he worked her over, teasing at her heaving titties with his lips and tongue and occasionally stopping to smother her with heated kisses. When she went over the edge, her butt surged off the bed, and she shrieked loud enough that he knew the guard outside could hear it. He remembered his dad's words. It was one thing for a princess to have a guard or two think she was a ho. A guard could be bribed to shut up. It was another for her to be thought of as _nasty_ by the general public. He'd have to be on guard against giving her a reputation.

In the right now, he grabbed hold of those slimy panties and snatched them off her ass. A breathless Hamest immediately cocked those long legs wide. The pretty blonde was licking her lips as Billy got out of his shirt and pants. When his pecker came into view, she began pleading with him to hurry. Billy slipped into the bed and climbed aboard, pressing his big pole against her snatch. "Ooaaaaah," howled the princess as he began to rail her. Billy pressed his lips against hers to try and stifle some of the cries, but it was a vain effort. The deeper he went and the harder he stuck her, the more she thrashed until, head thrown back, she began to scream.

Her arms and hands tensed and flexed, and he knew his back would have been torn to ribbons if he hadn't tied her up. At the same time, it was some of the best pussy he'd ever had. He hardly remembered fucking Abieuwa that first time. He'd have to admit he couldn't have told you a thing about it. Noemi was much the same. She'd said he was an animal–that he'd left her walking bow-legged when he got done–but he'd been almost as badly drugged as with Abeiuwa. This was on par with anything he'd gotten with Rags.

He could feel her go over the first time. And then, just a few minutes later, she climaxed again, her tail bashing into his knees hard enough to hurt. Billy kept on giving it to her, going faster and faster, losing himself in the feel of this. The third time, they went over together, Hamest squealing as he shot off inside her, and Billy squeezing her ass hard enough to leave marks. As he collapsed against her, the warrior-wizard thought, _gonna' be a pretty good night..._

 **A little more action and a little more service this time. Thor's in hock, and Cherry's now running the show. Billy's opened relations with Bowsette, and there are elemental entanglements waiting in the wings as the rollercoaster ride continues.  
**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

"Was the meal good," Star asked?

Even to Patrick, it was an absurd scene. She'd presented the giant with a hand-cooked breakfast that had _Patrick's_ mouth watering. She'd sat there and watched as he ate it all. You might not have guessed that she'd caught Thor laying the pipe in some other girl, while _she_ was laid up at home, _pregnant_. Thor had spent the previous afternoon and evening walking on eggshells around his wife, looking like a doomed man, and Patrick hardly blamed him. They'd been sent here to find information on the dudes that attacked their home. And they'd fucked it up. Literally.

Part of Patrick felt bad for Cerelia. Knowing what she'd been through, he'd been a little horrified about what she'd been made to do. With him. He felt a lot of guilt for taking advantage, even when she'd been the one to make moves on _him_. At the same time, well, what was he going to do about it? He was in hock with his wife too. Fionna was going to kill him. She was going to dribble his ass around the house and beat him to a pulp. If he was lucky.

As he watched and shoveled half-eaten food around his own plate, Thor responded to his wife's inquiries with, "it was very good. Thanks." Rising, Star smashed the plate over Thor's head in one smooth motion before heading for the door, throwing out a 'come along, honey' for good measure. Any thought that things were going to work out ok got dashed. With a sigh, Thor got up, dusted his jacket clean of jagged bits of the plate. Dabbing at the cut on his head with a napkin, he headed for the door too. They were heading across the sea to Lizard Kingdom today. Billy was there, working to shut down an invasion, and Cherry hoped to tie up with him and his crew. News that Nieve had been in Bormio had the Mafia Princess thinking that Bill might be right. Something wasn't right here.

Across the sea in Lizard Kingdom, Billy awoke to the soft feel of something teasing his pecker. After banging Hamest for the better part of two hours the previous night, he'd gone out like a light. Now Billy awoke with a start to find Hamest kneeling at his side–with her long tongue literally wrapped around his pecker. The sight of that blew the top of his head off, and he shot off all over her face. The Lizard Princess gave him a grin, which, given his goo was decorating her face, was a very nasty look for a Royal and did little to help his pecker go down. The slinky lizard-slut straddled his hips and climbed aboard, fitting his dong to her snatch and sliding _down_. Billy groaned at the feel of her hot oven as she engulfed him. "Morning, Billy," she moaned.

Outside, Lina Yuvchenko came strolling along through the early-morning darkness on her way to breakfast with her husband. She'd spent much of the night getting piles of iron sorted and set up to go into the smelter, fully intending to leave the lizards with at least two of her machines when they rolled out of here. The sounds of a woman getting her rocks off carried to her on the wind, and she had a pretty good idea of just who was getting rocked. The Royal Wives had said it. Play nice. It almost made her laugh. She might have if not for the sight that greeted her as she came underneath the Royal Balcony.

Lina was horrified to find Olesia sitting on a bench underneath the room where Billy was servicing the Lizard Princess, _listening_ to that nasty old cougar's every squeal and cry of passion. The plump girl was staring up at the moon, wearing her wrap against the chill, looking altogether young and winsome. Drawing off her mask, the cyborg knelt there, whispering, "Olesia! Olesia, w-what're you doing?!" The plump girl looked down into her friend's eyes. "Waiting," she said. Nodding at the balcony, she said, "he'll be done inside soon. Then we can go." The Grid-Face person goggled at her in horror at that casual statement.

"I'm not upset, Lina," Olesia murmured. "I'm not. I love a man who's out of my league. It is what it is. Powerful women want him, and they have more to offer than I do." They had money and kingdoms and power. She only had her body. And while Billy seemed to find her attractive, that hardly seemed enough when there were _kingdoms_ that he could rule if he chose. Unable to persuade the younger woman to leave with her, Lina ended up sitting there with her for the better part of half an hour as the sun climbed above the horizon, bathing the land in the pale light of fall.

Billy emerged from the palace to find the pair waiting on him, with Lina giving him a dirty look as if she'd been listening in. The big man did his best not to react. His dad played these things cool. He would do the same. He hadn't been up there pounding the shit out of the princess. He'd been... busy. That was all.

Striding up to the pair, he asked, "where we at? Did we get the iron gathered and melted down...?" "You're bleeding," Olesia remarked. Billy flushed to his hair. Hamest had clawed the shit out of his arms before he could stop her. She'd apologized. After the fact. It was a damning sign of what he'd been doing, though. Without so much as a by-your-leave, the plump elemental girl reached out and she channeled a tiny burst of heat into the two worst cuts on his arms, cauterizing them. "Th-thanks," Billy stammered.

Muttering swear-words in Russian, Lina stormed off, looking as though she wanted to grind his balls for powder. From laughing about this idiotic situation, she'd come around to seemingly hating his guts, and he didn't know why. "She gathered a lot of metal last night," said Olesia. "We can fix her original machine like you wanted, but there's enough to build a second machine if you're of a mind to strengthen their defenses." Trouble was, it would delay their departure.

Billy found himself torn. He'd admonished Hamest–and rightly–for not doing enough to protect her people. Would he be any better if he ran off with things half-finished? "Let's see how far we get," he said. "Then we'll look at this second machine..." "You shouldn't be embarrassed by circumstances you don't control, William," Olesia opined. Without another word, she turned and stepped off, heading in the direction her friend had gone. Forcing himself not to watch that swaying ass, Billy stepped off after her.

As Billy and his companions worked to fortify the Lizard Kingdom, the source of the drama sat in the private quarters of her airship, riffling through the papers she'd stolen from the Lizard Kingdom's library during the savage fighting. She couldn't read them, of course. She didn't have her late brother's facility with dead languages. But the pictures. The pictures fired her imagination. There were so many pictures. Detailed drawings of death-rockets, showing how they were fitted together and what they were made of. She could tell there were measurements contained in those papers–things that would let her dog build the weapons she wanted. Her imagination soared at the thought of mushroom-clouds bursting over the Candy Kingdom. She wanted Bonnibel Bubblegum to die, but she wanted the bitch to see all she'd created die first. Puffing on a licorice-stick, the evil woman turned to her minion and said, "bring that bitch up here."

The guards hustled out, returning in short order with the wax-woman's hapless patsy. Blargetha had been on this ship for _days_. She'd had some vague idea that they were on the ground, but she'd been confined to her quarters, with nothing to do but stare at four walls and worry. There had been moments where she'd found herself wishing she would wake up in her cell in Finn's dungeon. Now she found herself in the presence of her captor, and she dreaded what the bitch was going to say or ask now.

"Come here," growled the wax-woman. Blargetha dutifully shuffled forward. The evil creature blew a smoke-ring in her face and pointed at the documents on the table. "What do you think," she asked? Blargetha stared down at the papers a moment, fear crowding out thought in her mind. And then, she found herself goggling at what was presented with. "Th-this is it," she stammered. Frowning, Chelsea demanded, "not what you wanted?" "No," howled Blargetha! "This is it! These are the schematics I needed!" She started tearing through them, sorting them into piles right there before her captor's eyes.

It was an astonishing change to the wax-hustler, who stared at her prisoner in puzzlement. "Top-level," Blargetha murmured. "Ok, I've got top-level. I've got the propulsion subsystem..." Frowning, she glanced up, "where's the guidance package?" Chelsea glared at her. "Never mind," said Blargetha. "I can gin something up. This is mostly intact." "How soon," Chelsea demanded?! "Gimme a couple weeks," Blargetha replied. "I-I need to work up some metal samples..." "Ok," said the wax-hustler. "Two weeks. My men will get you whatever you need." The slime-bitch was unceremoniously dragged away then.

No sooner had she gone, than the phone rang. Puffing on licorice, the wax-woman flicked her phone open, "yeah?" "I hear you liquidated some of our assets," Peihong announced. Blowing a smoke ring, Chelsea replied, "s'cool. I got the drawings that cunt needed. Gave her two weeks to bring us some rockets..." There was a pause on the other end of the line. Finally, Peihong responded with, "I'd appreciate your keeping me in the loop." Rolling her eyes, Chelsea replied, "I had to move, and you've been out of touch."

She knew full well that Peihong was busy dodging Finn the Human in the east. It sort of played into her hands. She was free to pursue her own moves. Still, she needed to maintain good relations. For now. "I'll keep you informed of progress," she offered. Peihong hung up abruptly, leaving the little murderess pondering ways to be rid of her _partner_. And then, what was she upset for? She was closer than ever to vengeance. They all but had their rockets, and Billy the Human was walking closer and closer to her trap!

As morning gave way to afternoon, Billy's crew was in the groove, churning out the wire Lina needed for the second Fly-Swatter. Olesia and Tom took turns at melting batches of iron and other ingredients. As each batch got to the right temperature, Billy applied the Ice Tiara's power to solidify the result at just the right chemistry to work in the machine. Lina who was as much cyborg as she was living thing proved she might well have been more scientist than woman as she forgot her earlier outrage in favor of studying Billy, while he worked. In the interest of getting the machine built and not getting his balls cut off, Billy went along to get along.

Just now, the cyborg-girl and her chum were having lunch and chatting. Lina had cooked up something from home and served Leo a full plate. Billy had raided the palace stores and come up with some charcoal for Olesia and Tom, and now the plump girl sat munching away on coal while Billy himself basically starved as Lina hadn't bothered to offer _him_ a thing. She was pissed, and he had no idea why.

Billy found himself watching the pair while he debated their next moves. The second Fly-Swatter was coming together fast. At the same time, finishing it would take hours they didn't have and maybe see them stuck here another night. He knew an extended stay would mean another night with Hamest and a whole lot more drama. Leo had made it clear what he thought, just as he'd made it clear he would do what he was told. They would all march, if Billy said to leave, but nobody was happy about the idea, especially considering what they suspected about the Muscle Princess.

As Billy's conscience battled his heart, a boat came over the horizon, traveling fast. This time of year, ships on the ocean were few and far between, and people gathered on the beach stopped what they were doing to take a look. The boat–ship, really–looked to Billy's eyes to be big enough to maybe be carrying troops. And that could be trouble. Issuing orders, the big man marshaled the troops to make ready. As the minutes crawled by, the tension rose. Olesia put aside lunch in favor of joining Billy near the water, standing danger-close with waves lapping almost at her feet. It was a scene that would have been touching in another time. The Stalwart Hero and his Devoted Lady. Leo wasn't sure if he should feel sad for the young princess or angry at what was going on.

The heavy barge pulled in close to shore, and Billy greeted them with a threat, amplifying his shouts with magic. The ship wasn't so large that it would be carrying an army, and he had plenty of Lizard-folk there to carry out said threat. Adding Olesia and Billy made it double-suicide. Leo stood ready to rush right in with the cavalry while Lina manned the Fly-Swatter. Against that formidable show of force, the newcomers mustered... a single skiff.

Billy got a sinking feeling as the boat rowed slowly to shore. The roads, the waves, and even the skies were treacherous enough this time of year that people shouldn't be traveling lightly. If this wasn't an invasion, it looked as if it might well be something even worse. He could feel Olesia's presence, close enough beside him that her heat was unpleasant. His dad had romanced an elemental. Finn the Human had gotten accustomed to wearing a tin-foil suit just to get a hug from Phoebe in the _old days_ , and Billy imagined himself doing that. A twisted corner of his mind kept wondering if there were tin-foil rubbers out there somewhere because he still wanted to _do_ Olesia Okonski. _Or there are the meds,_ he thought. It was an ugly, dangerous thought, asking this young girl to do that to herself–so he could get his jollies. He should discourage what was clearly becoming an infatuation.

"Dammit," muttered Billy, as familiar faces hove into view. "You know them," Olesia asked? "Yeah," Billy replied, biting off a bitter curse. Indeed, the boat was now close enough for their visitors to hear them and answer. "Bill," Cherry greeted him. "Cherry," Billy replied, as Thor jumped over the side of the skiff with the rope. Captain of the Guard, but still somehow Cherry's dog. With a gesture, Billy froze the water around the skiff, holding the boat steady while his brother-in-law got the rope tied off. Cherry dropped over the side, while her manservant gathered up a pile of her junk. "Star," Billy greeted his sister. "Bill," Star replied.

He was more sure than ever that he didn't like this development. Star was getting a little big to be out and about. She certainly shouldn't be risking her ass in the wilderness like this. At the same time, he missed his sisters. The world of an adult had taken them from him far faster than he'd imagined. The minute his little sister was within reach, he snatched her off her feet and hugged her. That actually made the little nymph giggle.

"Ok," he said, as he set his sister down. "What gives?" Cherry gave him an ironic look. She could ask him the same. As Star began to explain what they were doing here, Hamest's carriage came roaring up. "Billy," howled the Princess, as she jumped down! "There's... Someone's stolen from my library!" Billy glanced to his stepmother. Cherry rolled her eyes. "Unsanctioned," she muttered. Royal entanglements were off the table at the moment. Something was very wrong here.

Telling Leo, Tom, Olesia, and Lina to work on the second Fly-Swatter, Billy got in the carriage with the Lizard Princess, his sister, and Cherry. As the carriage tore out of there, two figures who'd been ignored in all the excitement came strolling up the beach. "Master Patrick," Leo greeted the young wizard! "Well met!" Patrick didn't feel quite the same. He felt _doomed_. "What're you guys doing here," he asked? With a shrug, Pedersen replied, "fighting off raiders. Got pretty nasty. They hit a couple outlying villages. May have been some cannibalism." Patrick goggled at him. That made his problems seem like a dream! "C'mon," he said. "We're trying to build some equipment to keep these people safe." Nodding, Patrick said, "ok. Where can I pitch in?"

Meanwhile, Billy was headed up-town, briefing his stepmother on the way. Cherry was just as sharp as she always was. If anything, having cloned herself into a new body, the nasty little witch was even sharper. She was digging into things that Billy had seen in his travels north of Purple Kingdom. She dug into what he'd uncovered with the two raids he'd conducted and the men who'd attacked him. He could tell she saw things he hadn't seen, but she didn't share any of it. It was a little disconcerting for a man who'd been burned by her actions before.

 _But isn't that the point,_ he thought? While Fionna and Star had come to accept this woman, Billy had never really warmed to her. There was a debt of anger between them. Billy felt– _still felt_ –that she had cost him his family. That had gotten moderated a little of late. He'd come to realize that a lot of the problem was JJ herself. His wife _was_ evil. He could understand what his dad was saying about Cherry. Revenge was a powerful motivator. JJ wasn't working for _revenge_. She was working to sate the demon within her. Billy understood that. At the same time, he hadn't been able to cross that last bridge. He accepted that Cherry was part of their lives the same way he accepted that he'd become a polygamist, but he couldn't say he was really happy about either.

The carriage pulled up outside the Royal Library. There was little sign that anybody had been here at all. Which didn't make sense. He'd been thinking that a few of the raiders maybe got this far after getting over the wall or something. He couldn't really remember a moment where they _had_ gotten over the wall, but things had been pretty crazy, and he couldn't really have told you what was going on in every corner of the city. He'd been focused on the big picture. The library didn't have the kicked-over look that he expected from a place the raiders hit. There should have been wreckage. There should have been _bodies_. _Maybe why nobody noticed it before,_ he thought. There were no bodies laying around to attract attention.

Hamest and Star were first out of the carriage. Billy hung back as Cherry got down. "Level with me," he said. "What's going on? What're we really dealing with?" "The Thief King still haunts us, Bill," Cherry murmured. His head snapped down to hers. She was looking straight ahead at where Star was climbing the stairs with Hamest. There was a strange relationship there. Cherry loved Star like the nymph was her own daughter. _This is genuine,_ he thought. "Penny set something in motion," Cherry murmured. "Something dangerous." "More than a few guys feeling their oats," he rumbled. Cherry nodded. As the Lizard Princess and Star reached the top of the library steps, the crime-boss murmured, "I don't know how deep the game goes. There's a reason your dad's stuck in the east. Keep your mouth closed on it. For now." Billy nodded. Motioning for her to precede him, he stepped off.

 **We're headed to a chaotic finish, with the Finn Family running towards trouble with the family patriarch out of the picture. Enemies inside the walls. Mystery armies roaming the wilds, and a target hanging from the backs of our hero's family. And who's going to break first?**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

The sound was like nothing Chelsea had ever heard before. The thunder! It even _sounded_ like destruction. The roar rose to a crescendo, as the plump slime-person stood at the control-box. "It's one-quarter scale," she shouted! The rocket was starting to rise off the stand. As the nasty little customer looked on in fascination, the thing began to move. It had looked, momentarily, as if the thing wouldn't get off the ground. Chelsea had been prepared to _terminate_ the bitch after all the treasure they'd spent rescuing her and providing her with the materials she needed.

Now, as she watched, the thing _soared_. It soared high into the sky. "I can get about eight-hundred miles," said Blargetha, as the thing roared out of sight. It was aimed at the empty wilderness to the northeast, but there was a pretty good chance it would land in Grid-Face Kingdom. Blargetha wasn't really sure how she felt about that. She wanted to be rescued from her rescuers honestly. She knew why they were doing this. There was only one reason they would be asking for such a machine. They wanted to launch something at their enemies, and Blargetha knew exactly what would happen when they succeeded.

The princesses would shit themselves.

Shortly after that, the world would blow up. Bonnie Bubblegum would unleash that fucking army. She'd tell Finn to unleash that fucking army, and this bitch would be toast–and everyone with her. Blargetha already had a lifetimes worth of bad karma against her. She very much risked this being the last straw. She was certain Finn would kill her then. He'd have no choice. _If the rocket lands in Nadia's territory...,_ she thought? It was a _mad_ thought. It was mad to think about rushing that ugly retaliation, but it was her hope of avoiding death at the hands of either her captors or their enemies. If Nadia's people found the wreckage, they'd be sure to tell their princess. Said princess would be sure to sic her honey on the problem. And then Finn would be _here_.

The Queen of Ooo said, "how long would it take you to build the full-size thing?" "I'd need more workers," Blargetha replied. "I'd need a bigger space to do it than you have here. I mean, we could clear out your ship, and that would be enough..." Chelsea glared at her. "The rocket's _fragile_ ," Blargetha replied. "If I do the work with the rocket on its side, I have to make it stronger, which makes it heavier, which shortens the distance it'll fly. If I do it with it standing up, that means I can make it a little lighter, but I need a very tall building or a crane or something." Chelsea muttered curses. The slime-woman replied, "it's _science_. It is what it is. I can't change the physics. I need a building and workers. And I'll need lots more metal. I don't know if you have people in Grid-Face kingdom, but I know fucking Nadia has titanium. I need some."

Chelsea counted to ten, her mind focusing on the goal. She wanted to blow up the Candy Kingdom. She wanted to level it with a bomb. "Ok," she muttered. "I'll get what you need. Make a list." Without another word, she stormed off. She could see Fedir waiting on her. Blargetha watched her go with a sigh of relief. Her mind was going to the possibilities now. She'd delivered. She'd brought them what they asked. It would take the bitch _months_ to scrape together enough stolen titanium for even _one_ rocket. She had time for her _real_ project.

They'd never taken the phone back. She'd awakened with it in her pocket. That gave her the possibility of maybe building a transmitter. If she could build something with enough range–or even something that could reach Bonnie's satellite–she could call for her own rescue. It was madness, of a sort. If you'd told her she'd be working on her own recapture, she'd have said you were crazy. _But that's where we are, Blargetha,_ thought the terrified princess. She would have given almost anything to be back in Finn's dungeon.

The nasty wax-person was now interrogating the man who'd come looking for her. "The marks are just two days out," he announced. He'd been sent to apprise the boss of just what was going on. The top henchman no longer trusted his safety around their master. He'd sent Fedir as his proxy with the hope that it was Fedir who would be the next to suffer the unstable little bitch's wrath. "And preparations," Chelsea demanded? Fedir replied, "we plan to ambush them in the caverns." The little bitch began to chafe her hands in unholy glee. She had them now! She was going to kill Finn the Human's son! Oh, the gnashing of teeth that would come from that!

Meanwhile, Simone Mertens sat arguing with Wizard City's Chief of Sanitation over his latest edict regarding magical waste. The loon had decided that every wizard in town should be using a magical portal to the 'outside' to dump the refuse from their experiments because cleaning up and treating said waste was too much trouble for him. It had begun to _rain_ debris all over the civilized kingdoms–some of it _toxic_. Her fellow Royals were having a _fit_! She shuddered to think of how Finn would react when he found out.

Betty had twice had to keep her daughter in her seat, and the vein standing out on her temple was not Simone's best look. Of course, a part of Betty was grateful she _hadn't_ ended up taking this fucking job because she would have been tempted to clean house _months_ ago. Her daughter was a _saint_ with the patience of Job. She'd said it, and she _knew_ it was true. How else to explain how the younger woman hadn't frozen this city of the insane and simply walked into the sunset?

In the middle of Simone's tirade, her phone began to ring. Betty glanced at the annoying nuisance as it vibrated across the desk. The face there on the screen alerted her that this one was maybe one Simone better take. Shaking her daughter's shoulder, the older woman drew her attention to the phone on the desk. "I need to take this," muttered the irritated Grand Master. Betty turned to the garbage-man and said, "get out."

"Voletta," Simone greeted the woman on the other end of the line. "Voletta slow down..." The young wizard was running on non-stop. "What are you talking about," Simone demanded? "Where is Emeraude going?" Things went on in that vein for several moments before Simone started to sing. Betty stared at her a moment, and then she found _herself_ going sleepy. She had to shake the effects of the spell off, and she was startled to realize that her child was casting a sleep-spell over the young nymph _through the phone_! Simone had become more powerful than even her father had been. "Now," said Simone, "tell me again what Emeraude is doing, Voletta. Start from the beginning."

She put the phone on speaker and set it down. As Voletta spoke in the wooden, emotionless tone that said she was hypnotized, Simone wrote down all the particulars. Only after Simone had heard the story twice and had time to ask detailed questions did the Grand Master release the Matriarch's Captain of the Guard. "Keep watch over the Council, Voletta," Simone commanded. "You understand what failure means..." "Yes, Milady," Voletta replied. The nymph hung up.

Betty rumbled, "you have a spy in Emeraude's kingdom?" "Not exactly," Simone replied. She was a little defensive about that. "Voletta and I have... _common cause_ ," she explained. Staring down at what she'd written, the tall woman rumbled, "dammit, Emeraude, what're you getting into _now_?" "What did she tell you," Betty asked? "I... heard the conversation, but I guess I don't understand..." "Emeraude's _desperate_ for money, mom," Simone sighed. "Her predecessors were about as stupid as my garbage-collector. Her old boss ran the place more for her own ego than for the sake of the people who live there. Her mom ran the place to make money off the backs of her neighbors..." Simone shuddered. Her in-law had entirely _deserved_ to die for what she'd done, but the idea of being torn limb-from-limb in the street... was pretty damned awful. "You're afraid she's walking into some kind of trap," Betty murmured.

"I don't trust this _Gemma_ , mom," Simone replied. "I don't like her influence on Emeraude." Betty had heard some of what had been going on from Fionna. She didn't much like Gemma either. "So what're we doing," Betty asked? Blowing out a breath, Simone said, "I asked Voletta to warn me if she saw something that put Emeraude at risk. I swore that I... wouldn't butt in, but I'm going to have to break that promise..." Her eyes fell on the report from her ambassador. There was toxic basilisk-venom dust scattered all across Warrior Kingdom. She had to get that cleaned up. She couldn't be running around chasing Emeraude. Taking up the phone with a heavy-hearted sigh, she flicked through her contacts, coming up with Finn's number, praying he hadn't yet gone to bed.

Far from being asleep, the King of Ooo sat in a corner of a seedy bar, opposite a man who had information for him. He'd been asked to come alone. It was more of the same bullshit, but he'd hoped that maybe this guy would actually do a deal with him–information on the Bandit Princess in exchange for getting to keep on breathing. They'd been dancing around the subject of Finn's quest for the better part of an hour, and Finn had the distinct impression that this dufus thought he was going for a setup. Resting his chin on the heel of his left hand, Finn rumbled, "you _do_ realize that I could kill you fifteen times before you could tap that hidden switch... Yeah... I know you've got it. My spies told me all about the setup. I have people in pretty low places..."

The startled thug just stared. At the same time, Finn's phone began to buzz. The big man pulled out the phone that they'd missed, literally tugging it out of his right forearm in a display that made the thug a little green with nausea. Sybil had been bugging him about doing things differently, so he'd obliged her a little by making her carry some of the weight.

Seeing the face on the screen, the big man let out a heavy sigh. Simone knew better than to call him with something dumb. Of all his wives, she was least likely to bug him while he was working. Flicking the phone open, he rumbled, "what's gone wrong now?" As Simone filled him in, he thrust a finger at the thug and a tendril of razor-sharp grass pierced his Adam's apple, leaving him choking on his own blood. "Some guy I been tryin'a get some information out of," Finn muttered. "No... S'ok. Wasn't getting anywhere. What's she doing? Does Cherry know? Babe, I'm kinda' stuck here..."

As the thug slid out of his chair and hit the floor, Finn murmured, "we said we wouldn't stick our noses in... Yeah... You're right. This... Things _are_ getting kinda' crazy. I'll... I'm'a try'n get back tonight... Loves you. Bye." The big man hung up, and for several moments he sat there staring at the corpse on the floor but not really seeing it. He'd made some pretty awful threats regarding people trying to do his peeps. He'd hoped and prayed never to have to follow through. At the same time, he was a little worried it wouldn't be enough. _Let's go see what's going on,_ he said. Rising, he dialed up Orzsebet. It was time to go home.

Back in the wastes east of Emerald Kingdom, the Bandit Princess stared in wonderment at what she was seeing. The strange board was a local affectation. She'd seen people _playing_ this game, though never quite this way. "It acts a focus," the witch-doctor murmured. Peihong had almost forgotten he was here. "Emotion is a big part of our magic," the doctor explained. "I just needed to find something that triggered hers." The ogress had no fucking idea what he was talking about. Still, the results were pretty clear. The figures in the scene on the board were in some kind of cavern. The sights and sounds suggested the caverns where her prize might be hiding. "Excellent," the ogress declared. "Keep her going. I need to go deal with something." Chelsea was fucking up.

Leaving the witch-doctor's sanctum, the evil woman went up the hall, drawing out her phone once more to look at Damien's text. Chelsea had been warned repeatedly not to let her anger at their adversaries take over. Now the dumb bitch was trying to lure Finn's kid into a trap. She was going to throw down with one of the nastiest customers on Ooo, and Peihong halfway wanted to let her. She would be rid of her nasty little parasite. Chelsea's ratio of gain for pain was getting very close to zero right now.

Striding into her office, the nasty woman spent several long minutes pacing. Chelsea wasn't really capable of handling a threat like Billy the Human. Rumors said that he was now completely the thrall of one of the Ice Crowns. Damien had confirmed some of that. Billy had all of the power of his mother's lost crown flowing through him. "Don't go," rumbled Móguĭ. The half-demon was still standing there in the corner as if a statue. "You stand too much to risk," he advised. "Let me close things down." She knew how Móguĭ would have closed things down. He would have butchered Chelsea–maybe even sold her dirty soul to his master. He'd done that with another of Peihong's rivals. The ogress still shuddered as she thought of that. Death by snoo-snoo was a helluva way to leave the world.

Striding across the room, the evil creature took hold of his half-sister's chin. "I'm immune to the cold," he said. "He cannot touch me." "You want to kill him too," muttered Peihong. The Bandit Princess jerked away. Móguĭ chuckled in his usual evil manner. He wasn't doing this all of his own free will. He owed his master souls. If he delivered Billy the Human, that could settle his accounts for a _year_! "And you think you can kill him," she muttered? "I can," the half-demon replied. "Alright," said the ogress. "Kill him. Kill all with him. Get back here as you can." "It shall be done," said the half-demon, as he gave her a mocking bow before turning to go. Standing at the door, he said, "I might have a surprise for you when I return."

She found her heart beating fast as her brother's thunderous footsteps receded down the hall. It had been many, many years since he'd brought her a gift. She knew it would be something profound and grand that would confound her enemies, and she found she could hardly wait to see it. She was in great need of something to bring her courage these days when all she could see was Finn the Human's face getting ever closer.

As the Bandit Princess paced in her office, one of the subject's of her ire stood in a seedy, run-down train station at the edge of the Engagement Ring Kingdom. It was Huntress today. She'd shed the face of the Matriarch at the edge of the Grey Forest in favor of the tans and purples of her infamous costume. Her stomach was rumbling. She'd already run to the bathroom once today. She didn't want to run there again because her companions were getting nervous.

The train station was the kind of place where she'd spent too much of her life already. The guy in the corner was dealing Dust. The guy hanging out near the Men's Room was his muscle. Two drooling idiots had come in looking to score their deadly hits of Fruit-Witch Venom so they could crawl off somewhere to get high and maybe die alone. The man near the door looked like a slaver. His presence made the wizard _very_ nervous. She was taking a leap into the unknown. She was putting her fledgling little kingdom at risk and risking her own ass too. Except she didn't risk the loss of a little money. She risked never seeing her precious babies again.

And they hadn't even left the civilized kingdoms!

That was the hell of all of this. They hadn't left the civilized kingdoms. There was every kind of scum here in this train station, and they were still in a kingdom that nominally policed its borders and kept the scum off the street. She'd seen pretty awful stuff happen in the bad-lands. She'd been involved in some of it. She wasn't sure she had that in her anymore. Twenty years as a housewife had wrought changes, and she knew she didn't have the edge she'd had. She'd gone soft. It was one of the reasons for changing into her old outfit. People were _scared_ of the Huntress. Nobody was afraid of the Matriarch. She couldn't even keep the slavers out.

"The train's here, Mother," announced Gemma. The Huntress growled, "I told you not to call me that." They weren't in the Forest. They were in a bad, bad place, headed to a worse one. She should have arranged a flight on a Grid-Person airship or something. She should maybe have taken a boat. Gemma had insisted on the train, pointing out that the other options would have taken far too long. Shouldering her pack with a muttered curse, the unhappy wizard stepped off, headed for the platform, with half a dozen ugly mugs watching. With a gulp of terror, her sole bodyguard hustled to catch up.

 **Blargetha comes through... for the enemy. Huntress put's her foot in that trap, and Finn's on his way home at last.**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27:

"Alexia," Cherry greeted the Laurel Princess. "Ms. Soda," Alexia replied. Nominally they were allies, but they weren't _friends_. Billy could feel the chill. "What brings you to my lands," Laurel Princess asked? "There's an illegal weapon factory here," Cherry responded. Alexia gave her an ironic look, and the little woman amended that to, "an _unsanctioned_ illegal factory..." That was different. Beginning to walk away from the prying ears, Alexia murmured, "do we know _where_?" Billy relaxed momentarily. It appeared they weren't going to get to blows today.

Olesia appeared just then, lighting the world with a sunny smile. Billy returned that smile. They had all been a little uncomfortable while cooped up in Lina's vehicle for the last week or so. If it wasn't the serial abuse Thor was getting from Star, it was Patrick's moping over the impending ass-kicking he was going to receive when he got home to Fionna. If Patrick moping didn't cover the water front, they had Tom moping over missed chances. And that led into Olesia's infatuation and Lina's irritation with Billy. As he was about to speak to the elemental, a voice from behind reminded him of just why Lina wasn't speaking to him. "Billy," squealed the Lizard Princess. Like one of his childhood wrestling heros, Hamest jumped off the top step of the boarding ladder and tackled him, nearly knocking him down.

Ostensibly here to search the underground antiquities markets for the material stolen from her library, Hamest had been a clingy, irritating _problem_ the whole trip. Olesia said, "I'm going to stretch my legs..." Hamest took Billy's hand and went striding off in the other direction. Leo Pedersen found himself laughing. At least he laughed until Lina cussed him. He was a little irritated that she seemed to be blaming Billy Mertens for something that clearly wasn't his fault. What was he supposed to say? Fuck off and go home? If anybody was to blame, it was the mad women who'd put him in this bind.

Tom stepped out of the truck then. As Lina bustled around, checking bits and pieces of their ride for damage, the thief sat down on the stairs. "You look like you lost your best friend," opined the soldier. When Tom flinched, Leo said, "I'm not going to judge or rub your face in it..." "My old boss wants a cut of the money the princess paid Stanislaus," Tom muttered. Leo goggled at him. "Uh, that doesn't make sense," the Froyo-person burbled. "He's saying it's income and I have to pay street-tax," Tom spat. He was, once again, looking at getting beat down–maybe dead–for his gambling habit. Lina told him, "maybe it's time you _changed_ , tovarisch..." Leo nodded. "Change your stars, mate," he said. "It's a big world..."

Miles away, the notorious Huntress stepped down off a wagon, clutching her backpack. She was sick. Again. This was not the fucking time, but she was screwed. _Fucked-up again, Emeraude,_ she thought, as she headed off up the street. There was a hotel up ahead. If she could get into her room, she could deal with the nausea.

That had been her every-day for the last couple weeks. Get up in the morning. Manage sickness. Get something down if she could. Get on the next wagon or train or boat going in the direction of Emerald Kingdom. Hang on, best she could, until the wagon or train or boat stopped. Puke over the side if she couldn't. Get lunch down, best she could before jettisoning that in the afternoon. Then get dinner down. She was a mess. The only thing keeping her going was the certainty that she was broke. She had no more money to invest in a project that seemed endless. How did you draw the whole of a people up to a level where they were actually prospering? She didn't know, and that was becoming a terrifying proposition.

Sliding down behind her, the wizard's bodyguard hustled to catch up. Behind them, Gemma took her time. Taking out a phone, she stopped and sent a text. They were days–maybe _hours_ –away. The irritating wizard-woman suspected not a thing. She'd be Matriarch. She would still be Matriarch. She just had to arrange to silence a few irritating cunts first. Apolline would be the most trouble. Auda could probably be bribed to look the other way, but Apolline fancied herself as being _above_ their crude past. Ironically, one of Gemma's own allies would be the next most troublesome. Clarice fancied herself as a power-broker because she had money. The bitch had far more money than she had sense. Of course, Gemma _wanted_ that money. That giant wad of cash would buy a lot of her vice of choice. Shaking herself, the evil woman sent a second text before shouldering her bag. Her erstwhile mistress would wonder why she was so slow if she kept dawdling. They had a ferry to catch in the morning.

The sun was starting to peek over the horizon when Lina rolled down into the seedy town that hosted the ferry the following morning. Cherry had spent most of the night in hushed conversation with Alexia. As a Crowned Royal with a vested interest in the business, Hamest had gotten dragged in whether she wanted to be or not. Billy had gotten a break from the pawing–and Lina's sharp tongue. As the evening wore on, the family had actually relaxed enough that Star fell asleep in Thor's arms, giving Billy hope she would cut the poor mook some slack.

In the moment, though, everybody was on alert. All roads were leading to Emerald Kingdom. The thugs who'd tried whacking Billy were from here. Signs they'd jointly uncovered suggested Nieve was here. And the guns used to raid their homes had their origin in Emerald Kingdom. Alexia was very nervous, and Billy hardly blamed her. She had the threat of hordes of angry, starving peeps coming out of the wastes, and Aysun appeared to be creeping.

Billy was standing in the top hatch as Lina pulled up to the ferry docks. He could see the glittering spires of the Emerald City on the far side of the neck. Things could possibly get a little crazy when they crossed the sea into Emerald Kingdom. Depending on just how deep Aysun was in things, they could run into trouble real damn fast.

As the young man scanned the scene, his eyes glimpsed a dangerous new wrinkle that sent a chill of cold fear through him. Moments later, the big man had the side door open and he was _tearing_ down the stairs. As his bewildered companions stared, Star raced off after him. She found Billy confronting a shockingly _familiar_ figure in the middle of the vast crowd waiting on the ferry.

"Mom," Billy murmured? As the others watched, Billy Mertens rushed up and snatched the masked woman off her feet, enfolding her in a bone-crushing hug. Bill kissed the little woman on her cheek before letting her down. Before her feet had touched the ground, Star was hugging her. Gemma was a little shocked to see tears in the nasty bitch's eyes as Emeraude Mertens uttered a heartfelt, "my babies..." Shaking off his surprise and delight, Billy asked, "what're you doing here?!" A scant moment later, Cherry opined in ironic tones, "I was wondering the same thing."

The fallout was immediate. Cherry unilaterally _canceled_ both her own trip and the Matriarch's trip across the neck to Emerald City, threatening to sanction anyone who disobeyed in the name of the Privy Council. An hour later, the entire group was gathered in the swankiest hotel room on the west side of the neck for a rather unpleasant 'catch-up' session, with Emeraude front-and-center in the gathering. News that she was going to the same location on the far side of Emerald City as their own destination had Cherry ready to slap her.

"Have you lost your damned mind," demanded the crime boss? "Did you _not_ get the warning I sent..." She was up and pacing now. She had Billy's undivided attention. He'd known nothing about a warning! Wringing her hands in irritation, the little woman paced up and back, while the Matriarch sat in the hot-seat, and her idiot councilor typed away on her phone. "It's not like I was going into the bad-lands," Emeraude muttered. The Emerald Kingdom was supposed to be one of the civilized kingdoms and thus _safe_. Glaring at her, the Mafia Princess reminded her, "there is no safe place for _us_ , Emeraude. What the hell were you thinking?"

Those words had Bill sitting up and taking notice. His eyes searched the crime-boss's furious face. He was surprised to realize that, under the anger, there was a very real _fear_. Glancing away, the Matriarch muttered, "I had some business there." "So you've said," growled Cherry. "What was it? What're you doing here?" "We were here to conduct a transaction for the Grey Forest," Gemma declared. "I don't think that's any of your..." "Shut your fucking mouth," Cherry growled. "If I want to hear from you, I'll tell you to talk." The skinny nymph shut her mouth. With a sigh, the Matriarch said, "there was a request to open a franchise..." It took a moment.

"There's no men who would be seeking a franchise without my permission," an exasperated Cherry growled. "Emeraude, you _know_ better!" Cherry had shut down the illegal prostitution racket. She'd killed it and made the capos like it. The only people who should be looking to do it from the underworld were sick fucks who liked hurting women or kids. They wouldn't be meeting with anybody who could leak the deal back to the Boss of Bosses. The only thing this little junket could be was a _trap_. The Huntress flushed to her hair at that exposition. She'd been in and out of the gangs, working as a hitter for enough gangsters that she indeed _should_ have known better. It was wishful thinking. It was a way to get some money into the coffers.

"It was a way to make some money," the Matriarch muttered. She was unusually defensive about that. Billy could tell his mother was in duress because she was about as unlikely to be on the _defensive_ as his dad was to hit a woman for the fuck of it. _She's never liked the sex-trade, Bill,_ the big man thought. She'd done all she could to keep Star and Fionna away from it–to the point of throwing her own mother out of town. Emeraude Mertens wouldn't want anything to do with _profiting_ from other women's misery. Coolly, Cherry murmured, "if you need money, Emeraude, you could have _asked_..." At the nymph's frown of suspicion, Cherry said, "I have things that I need that don't involve evil, dear. And there's others of us who need things too."

Now the crime boss's eyes fell on Gemma. "Who did you speak to," she growled? Putting down her phone, the skinny wood-nymph replied, "they were Emerald Kingdom folk. You know they've only got two or three names between them..." Billy flushed. He'd thought that himself a couple of times. It often seemed like every guy out of Emerald Kingdom was Achmed or Aziz. It was an _awful_ thought–one he'd never have given voice to himself. At the same time, that snarky reply almost made him laugh.

"Alright," said Cherry. Turning to Thor, the little woman said, "please escort my colleague to the airfield. Take some cash and buy them a flight home. Today." The Huntress shot to her feet, but Cherry was implacable. "You're going home, Emeraude," growled the Boss of Bosses. "If I find out who summoned you here, I'll have their balls cut off. Get out." Just like that. Emeraude Mertens subsided. With a nod, she hefted her pack and turned to go. Thor hustled to follow. He was in hock, and he didn't need to make that situation worse.

Behind him, he left a family in turmoil. "It was a trap," Cherry muttered, as she began to pace again. "Somebody's playing a game here." Billy's face twisted in a frown, and Star's expression showed worry. "We caught it, honey," Cherry murmured. "By Glob's will, we caught her before she stepped into the trap, but something dangerous is afoot here. Somebody went to a lot of trouble to get the Matriarch of the Grey Forest here, when there's thousands of women willing to sell it for little or nothing..." And that didn't even get into the slave trade. "You think someone wanted her specifically," Billy rumbled. "I think somebody wanted a member of this family, Bill," Cherry muttered. "They weren't going to get a Nadia Ivanova or a Bonnibel Bubblegum." A princess wasn't going to just walk into their hands.

Billy turned and glanced in the direction his mother had gone. Emeraude was uniquely vulnerable in her current situation. She alone had both the motivation and the contacts that would have lured her here. "I'll warn the others," Cherry announced, her tone suggesting she knew what he was thinking. Billy nodded. They had bigger fish to fry at the moment, but his dad would have to do something about the Grey Forest. His mom was getting swept away.

Outside in the street, Gemma continued to type into her phone, even as the crime-boss's moronic thug tried to get his bearings. She'd been damned close. She'd been close to getting rid of the obstacle blocking her from the Matriarch's seat and getting Móguĭ off her back at the same time. Still, she did have _other_ options. "Well," growled Emeraude? She was glaring at the thug. "It's this way," said Thor. "I think." Rolling her eyes, the wizard stepped off. "We passed it on the way in," she muttered. Throwing an angry glance over her shoulder, she snapped, "Gemma!" The nymph hit send on the location of her annoying _mistress's_ wayward child. A pregnant girl would make a nice hostage. She'd be the gift that kept on giving when she finally popped. In the now, the evil wench hustled to catch up.

Thor returned to find the family scheming on what they were going to do next. This whole business was starting to look like one giant trap. Cherry didn't like the way the trail here for Billy seemed almost like bread-crumbs. He'd gone from investigating the slickest kidnaping she'd seen in many a year to a pack of thugs who were too stupid to send somebody who could handle business. Penny's thugs had nearly killed the ice-wizard in the no-man's land between the Candy and Froyo Kingdoms. They'd cornered Billy the Human with little more than a shock-stick and their wits. Every attempt on Billy's crew on the hunt for Nieve almost felt like comic-relief from Cherry's viewpoint.

 _Didn't feel like a joke to_ me _,_ Billy thought. Still, he had to admit she was right. They hadn't gotten better. It would have made more sense if the men they faced down got more skillful and powerful. Instead, they'd had a steady diet of dopes willing to throw down for chump change who almost seemed not to realize just who the hell they were dealing with. _Our enemy didn't tell them,_ Billy thought. They were set up to _die_. The thought was awful at the same time it was illuminating. Now, as his mind went down paths that he hadn't really tread in a long while, he had an epiphany.

"Aysun's behind this," he said, "or somebody close to her." When Star might have spoken, Cherry shushed her. "Go on," she said. "She wasn't keen on having to take orders from dad," Billy remarked. "She was really pretty pissed. She was in it up to her eyes with Berry-Bitch in the Lich War, and she was pretty close to them in the civil war after that. Nieve isn't on our side either. Not really. We smashed her kingdom. _I_ smashed it. At least whatever my brother's zombies didn't fuck up. She and Aysun have common ground..." "Aysun has a nephew," muttered Star.

Every face there swivelled to hers. With a sigh, the little nymph said, "he hit on me a month after the Dipped got put down. He was sniffing around, maybe looking for chances to creep on their neighbors when we met. He suggested keeping me as a fuck-toy. I... don't think he knew who I was." "More to the point, he's somebody Nieve could marry," Olesia opined. "She may have been the suitor Nieve snuck off to meet. That makes sense, Princess Star." Star blushed at being called a princess. At the same time... It was true. Just like her mom, she had to get used to that weird change in status. Her life might very well depend on it. Cherry turned to Bill, who laid out Olesia's theory. Nodding, Cherry agreed, "it fits. It fits the other puzzle pieces."

Returning to her chair, Cherry sat herself and spent a while deep in thought. When Tom might have spoken, Star waved him to silence. After a long, long while contemplating the depths of the scheme, Cherry announced, "they didn't know you, Bill. At least they didn't know you were the one who was coming. They expected some patsy they could cream. When they got you, they had to rethink their plan. I think... I think that's when they started laying breadcrumbs." "To get me _here_ ," he agreed. Someone was waiting on the far side of Emerald City to ambush them, and the Emerald Princess might or might not be in on the scheme. It didn't matter if she was or wasn't. There seemed to be powerful people in her circle who _were_.

On the far side of the Neck, a glittering Grid-Person airship came swooping out of the sky, descending on the Emerald City in a spray of dust and smoke. Waiting on the airship there in the palace square were a handful of figures in the signature all-enveloping robes of the Emerald Folk. As the ramp came down, a tall, bear-like man came down the ramp with a slim, slinky figure at his side. Finn the King's eyes took in the sight of the square and a surge of melancholy regret filled him, as he remembered. The last time he'd danced with Maja had been here in this palace.

Shaking off the unpleasant feeling, the big man strode forward, looking natty in a beautiful silk suit. The effect was offset by the somewhat _jarring_ appearance of the heavy, bearskin hat he wore. Strangely, combined with his many scars, that lent an air of danger to the visitor. He was a mass of dangerous contradictions and nothing like the ugly, uncouth _thug_ that Princess Aysun had grown up with. If anything, Finn Mertens had become _more_ of a man. In spite of or because of the fact that he'd never really changed, he'd somehow become much more than he had been, and that realization shocked the aging princess.

"Princess Aysun," he greeted her. No bow. She wasn't used to that. He'd always bowed, and she wasn't used to having this man, who'd been their _dog_ , lording it over her. Teeth gritting, the angry princess rumbled, "and how may I help the King of Ooo?" Finn the King motioned for her to walk with him, as he stepped off. "There are men here making dangerous moves," he said. Her face snapped up to his. His expression was that eerie, _serene_ expression that she'd seen in Bonnibel's palace. He was simply talking about something that _was_. No real problem at all. They were going to find these troublemakers and shut them down. That was all.

 **And Finn is in the house...**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

There was a tension in the air as Billy lead the way into the Emerald Princess's audience chamber. At Cherry's request, Alexia had gone ahead to prepare the way. Depending on how deep Aysun was playing the game, they could be facing just about anything here–from assault and attempted murder to kidnaping. Striding along at his side, feeling the contagious excitement of the moment, Olesia kept her eyes open for treachery. For a young woman away from home for the first time in her life, this was the thrill of a lifetime. Walking in her footsteps, flanked by Thor and Pedersen, Star and Cherry scanned the people around them for signs of evil intent. Most folk there seemed more _anxious_ than hostile. Cherry would even have said they were _afraid_.

The source of the terror became apparent when they reached the end of the audience chamber to find the King of Ooo sitting on the throne and _Aysun_ standing before him as a supplicant in her own kingdom! Star was astonished. Nearby, Alexia stood witnessing the proceedings in a state of nervous bemusement. Billy understood immediately what was happening when the big words came tumbling out of his father's mouth. He was tired if that was happening. He was tired and obviously a little crabby as he wasn't even _pretending_ to spare the princess's feelings. Indeed, it became clear just how things were going the moment the angry princess opened her mouth.

"Who are _you_ to simply order _my_ guards around," Aysun demanded? Coldly, Finn replied, "I'm the man who holds destruction in the palm of his hands. You know what happens if you defy me, princess. I don't think I'd even have to carry out that threat... Your people know what the response would be." Star's jaw came open. She knew exactly what her father was saying. Billy knew his dad must be really fucking _exhausted_ to say something like that. He'd seen his dad in tired-mode once before, a long, long time ago. Tired-Finn had _very_ short patience for bullshit.

The princess... _didn't get it_. She went for violence, shocking the entire gathering when she slapped the King of Ooo as hard as she could. When Cherry might have opened her mouth, Billy stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. This was something Finn would handle himself. Much to the shock of the gathered courtiers–and the princess herself–the guards snatched her back. The Emerald Princess spluttered incoherently, but the lead guard hardly seemed to care about her anger. Coolly, Finn said, "gather up a company of soldiers. We're leaving within the hour." Bowing, the lead guard responded, "yes, sire." "Tell no-one where we are going," Finn commanded. "It's worth your life..." The guard bowed once more before hustling out of there.

Rising, Finn stepped forward to greet his unexpected visitors, with Alexia falling in at his side. Motioning for them to start walking, he asked, "what brings you?" With a shrug, Cherry replied, "same thing that brought you..." The King lead them to the garden, and Alexia shut the door behind them. "I was expecting E," Finn remarked. In sardonic tones, Cherry replied, "I sent her home. How did you know she was coming here?" "A little penguin told me," Finn replied. "What's going on?" "Someone lured mom here," Billy remarked. "You need to fix that..."

The King knew exactly what his eldest son was saying. Didn't he feel that himself? "She has to swim, Bill," Finn replied. "I didn't want this for either of them, but they have to make this work on their own." Billy subsided, his face gone hot. He didn't know how to begin to respond to that. Moving on, Cherry said, "someone in this kingdom is playing a dangerous game. Nieve is here, somewhere. The men who hit the palace came from here..." Alexia added, "whoever stole the artifacts from Lizard Kingdom may have come to the antiquities market here." It was a lot of threads all twined together. Finn cut through the deadly Gordian knot in his usual bold fashion.

"Patrick's going to the market with Alex. Cherry and Star are gonna' bounce," he declared. As Star protested, the King of Ooo declared, "that's an order, Star. You're a liability to me right now. You both are. Go home." Cherry opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again. Hadn't she said as much to Emeraude? Taking Star's hand, Cherry offered, "be careful, honey." Turning to Thor and Pedersen, the King of Ooo commanded, "I have an airship waiting at the edge of town. Take them there. Be back in an hour."

Two hours later, four large wagons rolled up on an abandoned mine. The complex had been one of the largest emerald mines in the kingdom before it had gone bust twenty years ago. Finn remembered the grifter who had swindled Aysun back then. He'd promised to restore prosperity to this mine. Finn had wanted to kill him. It figured Aysun never came here anymore. This place made the perfect place to shield the Bandit Princess's operations. Nobody would be surprised to see wagons here, but there wouldn't be any _regulars_ hanging around either.

Standing before the entry to the caverns, the King of Ooo stared off into space as if his mind was a million miles away. He looked... _tired_ to Billy. He looked worn-out. This job was killing him. "Dad," Billy announced? "Thinking," Finn muttered. With a heavy sigh, the big man admitted, "I failed here. I failed to keep Aysun out of trouble..." With a snort of disgust, Orzsebet brushed past him, declaring, "you act as if women have no agency..." Finn goggled at her. With a chuckle of amusement, Olesia strode past them too. No agency indeed.

It was on, then. The little army of soldiers strode up into the mine in force. Olesia reached out to the fires ahead of them, using the torches lining the walls to _see_ what was going on ahead of them. Her uncanny sight was the edge that saved lives, as the Emerald Guard sprang one ambush after another. The Finn-Crew laid them out in groups large and small, leaving bodies in their wake. Finn himself hardly had to get his hands dirty.

Down in the heart of the mine, the half-demon watched as his sister's mad little hench-woman paced off nervous energy, going up and back, up and back. Having set up this whole business and lured Billy the Human to this place, the little bitch was a nervous wreck, anxious for the whole thing to be over. Móguĭ sat in quiet meditation, gathering himself. He was confident of taking the ice-wizard, but his real goal was the little sister. He wanted to deliver the sister as a hostage to Peihong. They could bargain then. They could bargain for anything they wanted in exchange for the little bitch and her bastard child.

Of course, if the wax-hustler was nervous, the princeling was _terrified_. He sat in a corner wearing the expression of a man waiting at the gallows. He had–under duress–provided them safe-haven here to do their dirt. He'd identified a place his aunt never went. He'd found them ways in and out to avoid detection, and he'd given them access to all the emeralds they could steal. And still it wasn't enough.

Now they'd made him an accomplice to murder. It wasn't just _any_ murder, either. He was asked to help murder the first-born son of the King of Ooo. Finn the Human had made it very clear what the fate of any such fool would be. He would be put to death. He would die in an ugly, humiliating way, and they would take their time killing him. He was near to panic as the reports came filtering in. Billy the Human had come, bringing soldiers to help him, ratcheting up the panic.

Back in the tunnels, the Finn Crew came striding into a gallery in force. There were half a dozen tunnels going in multiple directions from there, and all were lit, telling Billy that this was some sort of junction. That ratcheted up the danger because foes could come from multiple directions at once, and they had no way to know which direction they would come from or where the destination was. Billy's eyes flicked to Olesia, who stood there, scanning her pretty face back and forth. "I'm looking," she said. "Some of the tunnels are lit pretty far down, William..."

Without a word–and before he could stop her–the plump girl went striding forward towards the fourth tunnel on the left. And that was when four men jumped out of one of the darkened tunnels with fire-extinguishers. As Billy howled a terrified, 'noooo...!', the men blasted the pretty elemental girl. Charging forward, Billy hurled bolts of ice, skewering two of the men. The Emerald Guard iced the remaining pair, but it was already too late. Dozens of men came boiling out of tunnels around them, as Billy fought his way forward to Olesia's side.

The battle was joined then, with men coming in from behind them, having circled around them through the warren of darkened tunnels to jump them from behind. Calm as anything, Finn the King barked orders at the Emerald Guard, causing them to form a ragged circle, as gunmen and bowmen leveled weapons on them. Lina got sent to the rear to help defend them from punishing fire coming from the tunnel there. Finn took the middle, and he had the most to do, as bandits tried to shoot them up from both sides at once.

Turning left and right, the big man used his personal shield to block the incoming fire as best he could. He couldn't stop it all, as there was just too much coming at them. Still, he bought time for the Emerald Guard to fight back. Soldiers died around him, fighting for their lives against evil men who were fighting to wreck the world once more. Finn found himself fighting the urge to reach for the curse again and again. Sybil was angry at him for using the Quicksilver Curse.

Billy was all but surrounded by foes now, fighting for his life. The Ice-Tiara was taunting him now, telling him he couldn't even save this girl that he was half in love with. Of course, it had a ready answer for him. Just give in. Surrender yourself. He was already the Tiara's _vessel_. Let the power take control, and he could save Olesia. The young man found himself screaming at the voice in his head as men shot and stabbed at him, and he very nearly decided to lay himself down and die just to end the threat. He well knew the consequences if the Tiara controlled him. Instead, he thought of the young lady who'd so bravely done so much for their cause, and her example gave him hope.

To the shock of the entity, Billy the Human seized the reins of its power. The space around Billy the Human dropped in temperature so far and so fast that it sent a dozen men careening into shock. Stepping over their dieing bodies, the young warrior-wizard took the energy he'd stolen from the air as he chilled it and channeled it into the young woman laying on the floor. Olesia Okonski woke up from a horrible dream of being frozen to find a man about to spear her through the heart. Catching hold of the spear, she sent flame cascading up the wooden haft, causing the shocked soldier to let go.

The plump girl jumped to her feet, feeling the raw power Billy was feeding her. Transforming into a tongue of flame, the elemental burst out of her dress and shot through a dozen men, turning them into human pyres. The plump girl crisscrossed the room, slaughtering bandits at will, enabling the Emerald Guard to gain the upper-hand. Amid the horrific screaming, the elemental woman landed at Billy's side and seized hold of him, driving the Ice-Tiara back into its prison. Coming to his senses, Billy jumped back, beating at the flames on his jacket. "I-I had to do that," she said. He knew. The Tiara had been fighting him to take back control. Of course, no sooner had he beaten the flames out, than he was confronted with her beauty once again.

Tearing his face away from the sight of her heavenly body, the big man turned to his dad, and said, "we see what the game was. What now, dad?" "We carry on, Bill," Finn replied. Just then, an irritated Lina came striding past Billy, snarling, "piggish men!" Billy blushed again. Pretty much everybody on the scene was staring at the plump girl. Ever the gentleman, Billy stepped in front of Olesia to spare her the embarrassment. As Lina helped the elemental girl back into her dress, Finn laid out what they were going to do. Several of the bandits had run off down branch tunnels. He intended to send men to follow them. The main body was going to press ahead.

"I disagree," Olesia burbled. The King of Ooo's face snapped over to hers. Steadying up under that penetrating gaze, the plump girl said, "I... we could just run into more ambushes. We'd have less men... I-I think we should stop and maybe I could go and look around..." Billy objected immediately, but Finn waved him to silence. Seeing that he was listening did little to help the plump girl's confidence. If anything, that was more terrifying than being told to shut up and sit in the corner. Stuttering only a little, she tried to tell him why he should trust in her. "You're an Okonski," Finn interrupted. "If you think you can do this, I'm for it." Lina put in, "I think it should just be peeking... Not going there." She was protective of the younger girl. "Fair enough," Finn agreed. Leo Pedersen prodded Tom with the butt of his pistol, and, with a sigh, Tom announced, "I'll go too."

As the Emerald Guard sent soldiers back up the tunnels to get help for the wounded and made preparations to fortify the room they'd fought so hard for, Olesia cornered Billy. "How did you do that," she demanded? With a shrug and a grin, Billy said, "the law of thermodynamics, princess." He'd studied that in college, once-upon-a-time. It seemed like an age ago, but it was only a few years. Said he, "the energy goes _somewhere_ when I chill the air or make ice. It has to. I think the Tiara maybe feeds on it or something. I took it and sent it to you." She could have kissed him then. She would have, if it wouldn't have burned his face off. Promising that they would have to talk later, the plump girl moved on. It was time to do some scouting.

The two elementals moved to a clear space in the center of the cavernous junction. Sitting down side-by-side, the pair spent a moment dickering over who was going to search what. Olesia ended up taking the tunnels on the far side of the cavern, while Tom followed the path the runaways took. Finn and his son hung around nearby, listening in as the pair exchanged whispered conversation. Tom was first to find paydirt, announcing, "there's another cavern... There's maybe fifteen-twenty guys up there. They look ready to bolt. There's a bunch of crates and boxes and papers..." His eyes got big. "Emeralds," he declared. "Th-there's sacks of them..."

That news had everyone talking at once. Finn knew for a fact that this mine had no emeralds left. That was confirmed by the leader of the Emerald Guards, who had a very dangerous rumor to share. "There are rumors, sire," he explained, "rumors that our future prince is hoarding green-stones to pay the bride-price for a royal bride." "Nieve," muttered Billy. Star and Olesia were right. Just then, Olesia made an announcement that muddied the waters further. "I've found another room," she said. "There's a woman there... and... and... darkness..." The plump girl screamed just before fainting.

As Lina rushed to her friend's aid, Finn began dispensing orders. "Bill, take half the troops up to the room with the emeralds," he said. "Tom leads the way. Thor will hold this spot as a fallback." With a sense of worry–both for Olesia and his dad–Bill asked the obvious, "and you?" Stepping off, the King of Ooo spat, "I'll be dealing with the real mastermind here..."

The business got back underway then. With one last worried glance for Olesia, Billy headed off up the tunnels to confront the men guarding the emeralds. Finn wasted not a moment before heading off in the other direction. When the Agent Princess might have followed him, the King of Ooo declared, "this isn't a fight for a spy, Orzsebet. You will stay here and wait for my return." He had little idea what he was walking into–and Sybil was _screaming_ at him to stop. He knew that whatever was waiting at the center of this _trap_ was much too dangerous for the dubious _help_ of his companions. All they'd be doing was providing obstacles–or worse, hostages.

Squaring up–worrying did no good–Billy led the way as the Emerald Guard went up into the tunnels once more, leaving a quarter of their number on the ground and another quarter holding down their escape route. With Olesia out of action, Tom led the way, taking the turnings of the maze-like emerald mine as if he'd been walking there all his life. From time to time, the elemental stopped and _peered ahead_ , using the torches that were jammed into sconces and cracks in the wall, here and there. Spying nothing of consequence, he'd step off again, leading them onward.

At his back, Leo Pedersen held his weapon in a nervous grip. He'd left his lady tending to her best friend, and he liked that not at all for any number of reasons. Lina was good defensively. She could bottle one or more of those tunnels up for _days_ if she had to. Unfortunately, as a devout pacifist, Lina was _crippled_ for this business. What was she going to do if the enemy somehow got passed her barriers? He didn't like the answer. _Just get this done, Leo,_ he thought. The sooner they did that, the better off all would be. That would let him get back to his wife and friend and hopefully see them out of these tunnels.

"Getting close," Tom announced, as he stopped once more. Billy didn't hesitate a moment before stepping past the elemental. Tom was little more of a fighter than Lina. He did alright, provided there weren't too many enemies, but he was a little slow–a _lot_ slow–and his weapons could hurt his friends as well as the enemy. Billy was a little better. He'd grown to manhood learning martial arts at the feet of his father. He didn't have the Quicksilver Curse to help him, but he had other advantages. _Just don't get cocky,_ thought the Froyo Person.

The cavern was dark when the pack of soldiers entered, and Billy knew it was a trap immediately. Somebody had figured out just how it was that the Finn-Crew took out all the ambushes going down into the tunnels. As the gangsters sprang their ambush, Billy sprang a counter, walling off half of the cavern with impenetrable ice. Even as the gangsters reacted in shock to that, the Emerald Guard was turning into them.

And then it was on.

The fight was an ugly, close-range affair at bad-breath distance. Billy found two swords angling in for his guts and a guy with a dart-rifle aiming at his head. Forming two glacial punch-daggers, he deflected the swords, even as he encapsulated them in ice, forcing their owners to let go. The dart-gunner was a tougher-row to how. His conjured ice-helmet stopped the bolt from blowing out his brains, but the strike left him seeing stars. Pedersen shot the swordsman on his left and Tom leveled the dart-gunner. And then they were swept away in the crazy, see-saw battle that developed in the room.

Packed sacks of fat emeralds became armor as men ducked behind them to save their skins. Two men found themselves stabbing and shooting at each other from either side of a bale of precious stones. At least until Billy froze the bad-guy. Pedersen and Tom fought back to back, going toe-to-toe with a half-dozen rough customers, holding them down while the Emerald Guard pulled itself together. Of course, the walled-off thugs were slowly breaking their way through, blasting the ice-wall with concentrated dart-fire. _Maybe should have gone with dad,_ thought Billy, as he cut down two more thugs.

In the end, it took just too long for the trapped men to break through the wall. With an elemental and an ice-wizard on their side, the Emerald Guard gained the upper hand. When they finally breached the wall, the last of the thugs were just in time for the surrender. Billy had just killed four men at once, freezing them solid before Tom blasted two more to bits. The remaining thugs threw down their weapons, and the Emerald Guard moved swiftly to gather them up. They'd won, but Billy's mind was on what his dad was facing.

Indeed, Finn was taking his time. In an effort to soothe the Grass-Sword's anger, the big man was doing things by the numbers–just as he had before he'd known he was cursed. He stopped at every cross-tunnel and opening, listening and straining his senses just to be sure there was nothing there to jump out at him. In truth, just as Olesia had said, there didn't really seem to be anything up this way.

The final cavern was all but _empty_ when Finn entered. The place was set up like an opulent palace, with beautiful furnishings and dozens of lamps in place to fill the space with light. It was the sort of place a corrupt royal held his secret parties or entertained his illicit girlfriend. He was honestly half-expecting to find Nieve herself here. He might have expected the Bandit Princess. What he found was a monstrously ugly fellow squatting in the shadows of the far corner. "You would be the darkness," Finn muttered, as he stepped forward.

Móguĭ opened his eyes. He'd throttled the elemental out of an abundance of caution. She was dangerous. His sister's daft little henchman had fled when her dog came in sporting first and second degree burns. The princeling had fled almost before she was out the door. Determined to get _something_ out of this, Móguĭ had hung tough. He'd hoped to deliver the little wood-nymph or the boy-wizard's corpse. Now he found himself facing his sister's terror. Finn the Human was here. His chance had come. He was going to face down the great hope of Ooo and destroy him. And then _Móguĭ_ would be the power on Ooo.

"I've come to offer the Bandit Princess a deal," Finn announced. "Clemency and a small king..." "You have come here to die," growled Móguĭ, as he deployed his hole card. Swarms of shadowy demons swarmed the King of Ooo, blotting out the light in the cavern as they pig-piled on the hero-king. Much to the half-demon's dismay, the swarm of soul-snatching death seemed to almost wash over and _through_ Finn the Human as if they were nothing more than shadows in truth.

Finn continued to stride forward. "It doesn't have to be this way. The Lord of the Underworld and Lady of Spies hold their places with my blessing..." Móguĭ hurled a death-bolt, which Finn dodged. That crackling bolt of malice struck the wall, bursting in a sound like thunder. Finn turned from regarding the black splotch that strike had left and said, "she will have to bargain. I'll have Blargetha and Maja back..." The half-demon hurled the couch and then the dining table with all his considerable might. The big man dodged them as if they were spitballs shot from a pea-shooter. "Will you _make_ me kill you," Finn asked? It was everything Peihong feared, and Móguĭ felt his own panic rise. Reaching deep into his bag of tricks, the evil man called up his strongest ally.

As Finn watched, the stranger gestured in manic fashion, as he uttered evil incantations. It was the sort of awful thing that Old Finn would never have tolerated. Old Finn would have heard those words of damnation and decided that this guy had to go for the good of all, even if it brought on a war that killed thousands. New Finn weighed the ugly that a man like this could do and decided that, if he stopped now, he might, just might talk his way out of this. The King of Ooo wanted the Bandit Princess, not her henchman or dog.

A mote of darkness appeared in mid-air, growing with shocking speed, and Finn smelled the awful brimstone-scent of the Night-O-Sphere. Strangely, he thought of Marceline, and a corner of his mind remembered that it had been a while since they'd snuggled. The world she'd chosen with her foolish decision to challenge Death for Marshall's soul was slowly taking her away from him. In the right-now, though, a blob of terrifying darkness came oozing out of that mote of evil, as the half-demon snarled, "kill him!"

Finn greeted the entity with a calm, "hey, Bryce. What're you doing here? I thought you were workin' Jermaine's gallery..." He hadn't honestly seen his adopted brother's demonic business manager in _years_. "Man, he lost his mojo, Finn," said the demon. "Couldn't find inspiration anymore, so he hung it up a couple years ago. I hadda' find a new gig." "Sorry, man," said Finn. He'd been so wrapped up with first the Lich, then the Dipped that he'd sort of missed all of that biz. Shaking his head, he admitted, "didn't really dig the abstract stuff anyway." Móguĭ goggled at him, as he walked past the demon. "Whatcha' got goin'," Bryce queried? "Tryin' to talk to this guy, but he keeps siccing demons on me," Finn replied. "Bad dude," Bryce admitted. "His boss pays him for souls. He's a pretty good fighter, though." "I'll be careful," said Finn.

The half-demon shouted at his _pet_ to get busy. "Nah, man," said Bryce. "I'm'a bounce. Boss Lady would kick my ass for touchin' her guy." Giving Finn a high-five, the demon stepped back into the portal. As the mote of darkness shrank, the half-demon found himself facing his sister's great terror alone. "It's Finn," said the hero. "I'm the King of..." The half-demon took a swing at him with his iron-hard fingernails. Suddenly the hero was three feet to the left. Móguĭ took a second, missing just as cleanly. Finn could _feel_ what Sybil was bitching at him about. The Curse was different now. Somehow it was _stronger_. It was as if, in collapsing the curse on itself, Simone had shoved it all into Finn and closed the lid. _We haven't got time, babe,_ he told the cursed-sword. _I know. Just hang with me a little longer._ He would have to end this fast.

"One last time," said Finn. "The Bandit Princess..." Mogui slashed his arm, shredding his jacket and drawing blood. That was the limit. In the space of a breath, Finn was standing behind the half-demon, the Grass-Sword already flicking out. The cursed demon-blade pierced the monstrous humanoid's back, going straight through his heart. The half-demon shuddered a moment before pitching forward on his face. _I'm sorry,_ Finn told the Grass-Sword. _I'll do better._

 **And Mogui is dead. Sorry for the delay. Between the holidays, and wanting to get this one right, it took a while to finish the chapter. We're getting close...**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29:

"She's fine," Lina repeated, for the second time. Not that her assurances did anything to stop Bill from fussing over the plump girl. It was amusing. Even more amusing was the sight of the nasty cougar on the far side of the room. Princess Noemi had been here, waiting on them, when they got back. Far from rushing to her side, Billy the Human had been far more concerned with looking after Olesia. He'd rushed back and forth, procuring food, and stoking up a fire. He'd made sure the plump girl had pride of place in front of the fireplace.

As Billy quizzed the plush princess on her condition, Finn the Human was having a far less pleasant conversation–one that Noemi was forced to listen to. The sanctioning of members of the Privy Council was something that affected all of the Civilized Kingdoms. The presence of the emeralds in the lair of a pack of bandits had torched off a firestorm. The investigation had begun almost as soon as the Finn-Crew emerged from the mine. Finn had begun asking questions immediately. Who had the authority to sanction the removal of emeralds from the Royal Treasury? Who signed for emeralds to be mined and how were they transferred out of the mines and into the treasury?

The questions had come in a bewildering array. The Captain of the Emerald Guard had done his best to answer. There were literally _hundreds_ of people involved in the various facets of the emerald-trade. Miners dug. Supervisors watched the miners and decided where to dig. Permission to dig was handed down from on high, though. And it was the Emerald Guard who watched the mines and the miners, searching them to make sure none of the precious stones were stolen. And that led to the real answer to the question the King of Ooo was asking. The one common thread in all of that was the Royal Heir.

As Heir, it was Prince Qasim's job to manage the Kingdom's most prized resource. Qasim was the man who gave permission to dig. Qasim was the man who ran the Inspection House. And Qasim was the man who had the power as well as the knowledge to divert emeralds traveling between the mines and the Royal Treasury. "Bring him here," growled the King. "At once, sire," replied the Captain of the Guard. As a shocked and horrified Emerald Princess stared, her own guards rushed off to go arrest her nephew and heir.

The young prince wasn't hard to find. He'd been hiding in his quarters. It was immediately apparent when he and his aide were dragged into the room that he was up to his neck in trouble. His shoes were dirty. Billy could see that from across the room. Noemi's keen eyes saw that his shoes bore the same powdery dirt and sand covering Finn's boots. He'd been in the cave. He'd been down in the cave when they were fighting the bandits! Indeed, the nervous, darting eyes and the fidgeting told Noemi that this man was guilty as sin.

"He has been out of the palace today, sire," said the Captain of the guard. Finn turned to the hapless princeling and rumbled, "explain. Your answers could be the difference between life and death for you." Aysun opened her mouth to protest, but her chaperone grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her back. Indeed, both Royal Chaperones were soon involved in urgently whispering calming words at their princess. "Take him," Finn growled. The guards grabbed the hapless princeling by both arms. At the same time, two more guards dragged his secretary forward.

The terrified functionary immediately began pleading, offering up, "he sold out because of his habit!" Qasim shouted at the man to shut up, but Finn motioned him to silence with a wag of his finger. A tendril of the Grass-Sword licked out and caressed the prince's lips, telling him that he was on the very edge of death. "Go on," Finn told the functionary. The prince's aide told them about his master's gambling habit. He told of how his master had gotten in hock to the tune of thousands and thousands of gold coins. He'd stolen emeralds from the treasury, disguising the thefts by cooking the books. All of that had culminated with his being snatched up by the bandits who ran the gambling-house in the desert. They'd offered his life–and the return of some of his lost treasure–if he would simply whisper some words in his aunt's ears.

Now, of course, the King of Ooo wanted to know what Aysun's part was in all of this. The big man turned to Aysun, who glanced away. "Ok," said Finn, as he turned back to the prince. "Tell me what you were asked to do," he said. "If I'm satisfied, you continue breathing. If I'm not..." Nobody thought the King of Ooo was joking. Qasim Qassam spilled his guts, telling them of all his bad behavior–from the stolen emeralds and raids on the treasury to the attempt to form an illicit alliance with the Muscle Kingdom.

"Where _is_ , Princess Nieve, by the way," Finn asked? "Sh-she's out in the desert," Qasim stammered. "I-I kept her there. She refused to stay in the caverns, so I kept her in a house in the desert." "I'll have the directions," Finn growled, as he motioned for Billy to come forward. The younger man came striding over, as prince Qasim spilled his guts about where Nieve was and who was with her. "She's in danger," Finn rumbled. He didn't doubt that the Bandit Princess would murder Nieve to cover her tracks. "On it," Billy muttered.

Noemi sighed as he went striding away. So much for the reunion. Momentarily, the young hero was on his way to the door, motioning for his team to follow. Setting down the brunner that he'd been munching on, Tom headed off after him. Leo rose to follow too. Lina would have stayed, but Olesia rose to her feet to go too. She'd been in this almost from the beginning. She wasn't going to stop now.

Turning back to the matter at hand, Finn the King declared, "Prince Qasim has engaged with the enemies of peace to subvert the Peace of Ooo. He has committed theft against his homeland. He has provided funds in support of bandits and murderers, making him a part of their conspiracy. He has pursued an illicit alliance without the consent of the Crown of Ooo. For these crimes, he is sentenced to two-hundred years, dungeon. Take him."

The guards took the young prince by the arms and hauled him away. Many faces there showed relief. Things could have gone much worse. Of course, Finn wasn't done yet. Coolly, he announced, "the Emerald Guard is hereby taken under the command of the Princess General of the Privy Council. From this day forward, they will report to Princess Ingrid. The Emerald Mines will be managed by the Bank of Ooo, and the Royal Auditor will be taking charge of accounting for the emeralds and all the treasures in the Emerald Treasury." Aysun went crazy, then. She rushed Finn, screaming and slapping at him. The guards, who'd been holding the prince's aide, let go and grabbed their princess by the arm. Heedless of the commotion, the King of Ooo declared, "I will see supplicants in the Royal Audience Chamber." Without a further word, Finn turned and strode away, leaving Alexia and Noemi staring after him, as Aysun broke down in tears.

Billy and his crew went straight down to the stables, where the young hero rustled up some camels. Of course that left Olesia in a bit of a bind. Without a word, the plump girl walked into the blacksmith's small workshop, returning minutes later wearing a skin-tight jumpsuit in a sexy black. Smiling at the way Billy stared, the plush princess strode over to Lina's camel, announcing, "let's go..." With a long-suffering sigh, Leo handed Tom the asbestos blanket he'd typically worn in Lina's vehicle before motioning for him to climb up on the camel it appeared they'd be sharing. The five rode out, heading north and east toward the fallen Emerald Prince's love-nest.

They rode for miles across the desert, stopping occasionally to rest the camels. It was a helluva trek to get some ass, and a sweltering Pedersen said so. Which was bothering Billy more than a little. He didn't trust the prince any more than his dad did. It would be easy for Qasim to 'leave a few things out'. What if the Bandit-Princess's goons were guarding Nieve? The Muscle Princess was edging slowly over to the liability side of the ledger. Finn _knew_ about her shenanigans. She was no longer a mole inside the Privy Council. Faced with jail or execution, she might spill her guts of anything she knew. Which meant the Bandit Princess might spill her guts first.

The thought repeated itself like a litany in Billy's mind as the sun grew ever closer to the horizon. There was no reason to spare Nieve. She was a liability. At best, she would have been a hostage, but she lost that defense when the Bandit Princess learned of the defeat in the caverns and Qasim's imprisonment. On their fourth stop to rest the camels, Billy came to a fateful decision.

Striding over to Olesia, he said, "I'm gonna' ask you to do something. If you're afraid, I understand..." His words made no sense to Leo or Tom. Lina knew what he was asking as soon as the words left her mouth. For that matter, so did Olesia. Lina swore at him in Russian, as Olesia said, "alright, but I don't know that there's any fires near there. It might take a while." The tall girl swore at her too. Olesia shushed her. Sitting down, cross-legged on the ground, she closed her eyes once more. It took a while. Billy found himself holding his breath, while Lina muttered curses and paced. Leo got up and went to her side, whispering soothing words at her, as he'd just realized an even greater risk was coming up.

"It's empty," Olesia announced. "There's nobody there. There's... The fire's down to embers. At least it _was_." Looking up at him, she said, "before I tell you this, I don't think you should do what you're planning." Lina glanced up sharply. "Where," Billy demanded? With a sigh, the plump girl said, "headed east. Further into the desert." With only that, Billy summoned up the power of the Ice-Tiara. Moments later, he was flying, soaring into the evening sky, headed east, as Lina shouted after him. Leo grabbed her and held on. He'd known how this was going to go the minute he'd figured out what Billy was asking Olesia to do. "We need to catch up," said the soldier. "You need to help me figure out how to catch up." Billy was going to need them. He might need them to save his sanity.

Late that evening, a weary Finn Mertens finally walked away from the endless audiences. He was distracted and off his game. Worries about what his wives had almost walked into were eating at him. Emeraude had very nearly walked to her doom, and he wasn't really sure Cherry would have fared all that much better. Oh, she was cocky as anything, and she had her share of thugs and killers to do her bidding, true. At the same time, the Bandit Princess had her claws sunk _deep_ into this place if she had control over the heir to the throne. Fortunately, there were a lot of people who were irritated with the prince, his aunt, and their combined antics. It looked like he would be able to get out of here and get back to his lonely, unhappy quest.

In the right now, what he really wanted, more than anything, was to get to the bed that he'd been promised and find himself in it for a few hours before he got up to do it all again. He halfway feared that was part of the problem with the reawakened Curse. The curse had tried to consume Fionna. She'd gone down slowly, with the curse stealing more and more of her strength until she'd been unconscious. He was a little afraid of that.

Striding into the suite that was his, the King of Ooo moved to the bed and began climbing out of the weapons and gear he'd been wearing since he'd gotten up that morning, shedding the hidden armor plates, shedding Nadia's forcefield gizmo, shedding a half-dozen knives and daggers, and a hidden pistol, until he was down to just his shirt, pants, and shoes. He even took off his belt, with the hidden bubble-generator that had saved his butt against Maja in the Fire-Bleeder's cave. That was when Aysun burst through the door to his suite.

She'd been quiet through much of their joint audience. Honestly, with all the angry nobles wanting to kick her ass, he scarcely blamed her. Finn had done most of the talking, and the business had gone pretty much where he wanted it to go. Hurletta would have auditors here within a few days to take charge of the emerald mines. He would have a listing of all the men who were sanctioned to steal from the mines from Cherry's own hand within the week, and they would move on from there. No muss. No fuss.

"I cannot accept this," Aysun hissed. Finn blinked owlishly as he stared at the tall girl standing there in that all-enveloping robe. It had been a subject of fascination for him in the good old days. They'd laughed and hung out together–when her chaperones weren't in the way–and Finn had laughed when her robe got caught on trees and other things while they were climbing or running around. That was what kids did, though. All innocent and above board, when Aysun was a tweener, and Finn was the jerky little boy she sometimes feuded with.

In later years, teenage Finn had sorta-kinda wondered. What did she wear under that robe? He knew what girls looked like naked, and he'd gotten the _talk_ , so he'd wondered. That wonder had only grown after her big _mistake_. Oh, nobody would ever admit to anything, but Finn knew that she'd gone all the way. Aysun had gone to Tier-15 with a guy who was only really interested in stealing her blind and moving on down the road.

"Are you listening to me," growled the angry princess?! She strode straight up to him and got in his face. It was only then that he realized she had neither guards nor chaperones. Probably because they wouldn't have gone along with her being an idiot. They knew that he was very capable of doing something drastic. "I'm listening," he replied. Though he really wished she would just fuck off. The decision had already gotten made, and he saw no reason to change it.

"I cannot accept this," she declared. As if he gave a fuck. His unwavering expression unnerved the unhappy princess. It was perilously like he didn't care! He was a man! He shouldn't be giving _her_ so much grief! She was a _princess_! Not that her complaints seemed to register at all with him. Indeed, the more she complained, the less he seemed to care. And that was driving her to exasperation.

Run down on patience, the Emerald Princess howled, "you can't do this!" It was shrill and loud–everything that Finn hated about her. The King of Ooo glared at her. He very well could. In point of fact, he just had! "You took my heir," she snapped! "You're taking my Kingdom's legacy!" He was doing nothing of the sort, and he told her that. "I'm providing adult supervision, Aysun," the King of Ooo retorted. "If the Emerald Princess can't do the job of policing the emerald mines, then I will do it for her. This is the second time you've come close to handing over millions of coins to someone in a position to wreck the peace! I've been lenient, but I can take this as far as I need to..."

She went physical for the third time since he'd been here. She slapped him straight across the face, surprising him with her strength. And that was the limit. He'd had enough. Snatching the belt from the bed, he grabbed her by the wrist and, as he sat down, hurled her down across his knees. It was time for another lesson. The belt was striking her ass almost before she realized what was happening. He wasn't anything close to gentle. It was just as humiliating and painful as the beating across the neck in the badlands. He'd shocked her! He'd _shamed_ her! Her pride had been cruelly stung by being beaten by a social inferior in front of her guards and chaperones.

And the worst part? A piece of her had gotten off on the humiliation of the spanking.

She'd buried and rationalized the whole thing for years. She'd warred with the conflicting emotions of lust for the one man with the gall to touch her and hatred for his daring to put his dirty hands on a princess. And now he was a despot who had seized power over the world. He'd taken power over her kingdom, and now he was taking power over her body!

Two minutes into the beating, the big man noticed something that shocked him. The pretty princess wasn't screaming anymore. At least not in pain. With every stroke of the belt, Aysun was squealing. And that wasn't all. She was grinding her snatch against his thigh, and even when he stopped paddling her ass, she kept on going. Her pale emerald skin was flushed, and it was obvious to a fool she was getting off. Finn reached down and grabbed the hem of her robe, throwing it up over her ass to reveal sexy silk stockings and skimpy thong panties like Cherry might wear. And those panties were soaking wet.

He was overwhelmed by a mixture of conflicting emotions just then. He was angry. He was _still_ angry. At the same time, well, it had been a fair piece since he'd been with any of his girls, and the nanobots jacking up his hormones was still a thing. He was horny as fuck. The sight of that wriggling ass had his pecker hard. Tossing the belt aside, the big man slapped that ass, hard as he could, making the meaty buns jiggle. Aysun squealed in outrage, but it didn't stop that butt from wriggling around. Finn did it again. And then he did it again. Back and forth he slapped that hard little bottom. She had a nice ass, to say she was getting on in years. Of course, a lot of the princesses were fiends for dieting–fighting off age with all their might.

Tired of the bullshit, Finn grabbed the bitch by the scruff and jerked her face up towards him. Aysun glanced away, her face a study in contrasts. She was humiliated– _ashamed_ of what had just happened to her. At the same time, the color in her cheeks told that she very well knew that he knew she'd been getting off. Standing up, the King of Ooo growled, "suck me." Aysun stared up at him in shock. Finn's face was hard. Swallowing, the nasty princess reached for his fly and unbuttoned his pants. Fishing out his hard pecker, the Emerald Princess goggled at it. It was fucking huge! It was huge, and she'd only ever done this _once_ before. Staring into his eyes, it was clear she was going to get on-the-job training.

She started slowly, teasing his pecker with her thin lips and running her tongue around his tip. He was sweaty, and she was at once disgusted and shockingly turned on. Where the young boy who'd tried so hard to be a gentleman had aroused nothing but contempt, the older man who'd come back as her conqueror had her panties pretty damp.

Elsewhere in the palace, Alexia Galitsis, Princess of the Laurel Kingdom, finally broke free of her annoying neighbor. Noemi had been insistently bending her ear about goings on in the wastes east of their kingdoms. The Purple Princess had spent a bit too long loafing in the Candy Kingdom–taking a turn on her favorite toy. Now her counselors were pissed, and the nobles were threatening revolt if she didn't get her bottom back home to deal with some of the problems. They still had piles of refugees from the wreckage of the Elbow Kingdom to deal with, after all.

Alexia was far from interested at the moment. She was far more interested in the sexy sight that had dropped in on them from abroad. She hadn't gotten pregnant. Sneaky, fucking Lamprey Princess had gotten knobbed first shot up the tube, but Alexia had scored a big fat _zero_ in spite of having permission. She wanted to try again. Finn had committed to trying again, but he'd been in the east, hunting down the troublemakers who wanted to wind things up again.

Now he was here.

The King of Ooo was meat on the table so to speak. She was going to get her baby. This was likely her one real chance, and she was determined to grab the brass ring. She was getting too old to be a mother, and there was a real risk she'd be handing the kingdom over to a distant cousin or something if she wasn't careful. Twenty minutes after Finn had gone–long enough that maybe the palace gossips wouldn't put two-and-two together–Alexia excused herself, weaving a small lie to convince Noemi to let things wait until morning. They'd have plenty of time to talk in the morning after all. Slipping out of the meeting hall, the little princess went hunting for her child's would-be father.

She knew where she'd find Finn. He'd offered to chat–after he'd gotten a little rest. If she got her way, he wouldn't be resting at all. A quick stop in her own quarters, letting her shed her dress and any other encumbrances, and the little woman was on her way, wearing nothing but a mantle, just like she'd worn to seduce him in the Candy Kingdom. _Middle of the cycle,_ she thought. _The chances are better than last time._ She'd taken just too long to put her plan in motion, and she'd known that going in. The chance had been just too good to pass up though. She'd had Finn to herself with no bitches in the way.

There were odd noises coming from the King's quarters as the little princess approached. She found herself straining her ears to hear or understand what was going on inside. A part of her started to get cold feet, realizing that, after chasing the mysterious Bandit Princess all over Ooo and facing down a demon-summoner in the emerald mines, Finn might very well not want to be bothered. _But I_ need _this,_ she thought. Finn was really her best hope.

The door was cracked a little when she reached it, and she peered inside through the opening to find a shocking sight. Aysun. On her hands and knees on the bed. With Finn screwing her within an inch of her life. The scene was so _nasty_. His hips slapped into the Emerald Princess's hard little ass, making a nasty clapping sound. He was rough as anything, seeming almost to _use_ Aysun for his own pleasure–nothing like the gentleman who'd had Alexia herself screaming in hunger from all the teasing. Indeed, before Alex's shocked eyes, Finn stopped screwing Aysun and began slapping her ass with the palm of his hand, making the firm flesh jump and jiggle. It was every kind of nasty, and it sent jolts of lust shooting up and down her spine.

Finn was only vaguely aware of the door opening. A glance out of the corner of his eye told him that Alexia was standing there, but he was too involved in banging Aysun to really care. As the Laurel Princess watched–rubbing her snatch the whole time–Finn began to screw her neighbor once more. The Emerald Princess clawed the sheets as she wailed in climax. Burying her face into the mattress, the skinny woman screamed as Finn rammed that huge pecker into her belly.

"Fuck her," moaned Alexia, as she watched Finn shove his thick pipe deep up her mortal enemy's ruined pussy over and over again. He was burying it deep with every stroke he took in Aysun's hot gash. Steamy pussy-cream dribbled out of her every time he withdrew. Rubbing her pussy, Alexia hissed, "fuck her good. Cream her pussy. Ooaoaah, yesss... I want you to fuck your bastard into her..." It would have shocked Finn in the past. In his old life, before all the troubles and before every bitch on Ooo decided to grab for a piece of him, the idea of banging one girl while another one was watching was out of the question. In spite of what other people thought, he, Simone, and Emeraude had _never_ done anything crazy. Now the King of Ooo grabbed Alex by her round little butt and pulled her to him. In short order, he had her grinding her hips against his thigh, while he tongued out her mouth–all while he continued to screw the shit out of Aysun.

Out in the desert, Billy the hero came swooping down out of the darkened sky above a small caravan of heavily armed troops. He'd gone just where Olesia had said, anticipating where he'd find the tracks and rolling up the trail. The journey had been the very definition of 'not-fun' with the Ice-Tiara striving to seduce him the whole way. Tonight's enticements were about naked power. The Entity entreated him to seize his dad's empire and rule a world of ice and bitter cold.

Ironically, it's evil suggestions were every kind of self-defeating tonight. Far from being tempting, thoughts of freezing the world made him think of his stepmom, Emeraude. It made him think of Ragnhild and their kids. He thought of Abeiuwa and their little girl. And he thought of Olesia. When he thought of the plucky young woman and all the others who would suffer, he had little interest in the Tiara's power.

The little caravan was making good time, aided by the handful of trucks they had. This was the place where things got hairy. It would have been nice to have Leo or Olesia for backup against the numbers he saw. _So come up with a good plan,_ he told himself. He needed a plan to get the caravan stopped. He needed those men out of their vehicles. Then he had to take them out. All without getting shot. _It's winter,_ he thought. It was damn near winter. His ice would last longer. With the sun gone from the sky, he had a chance.

Conjuring ice-spines from the ground, the young hero shredded the tires on the lead truck. The disabled truck came screeching to a halt, causing the truck behind to slam into their rear, throwing several of the guards from the bed. Billy's conjured ice insured that the third truck in the line lost it's brakes, causing it to come screeching around the second truck–crushing several of the injured soldiers on the ground. Knowing that with every ounce of energy he stole from the air, the Ice-Tiara got stronger, the young prince transformed that energy, feeding it into the engine of the last truck in the line, causing it to explode. In short order, he had the convoy in chaos.

Alighting among the stunned guards, the young prince gutted the first man he came to, taking his dart-gun. Turning the gun on the guard's friends, he laid into them, dropping seven before they could even respond. Of course by that point, Billy was already moving. He was rushing around to the far side of the convoy where the fourth truck was already maneuvering to cut him off. _Just what I need,_ Billy thought. Hurling the empty rifle away, he conjured up a cone of frost to cover the window, dodging aside as the truck went hurtling past–crushing several more men. The out-of-control truck slammed nose-first into the first truck in the line, setting it on fire.

Billy ran back along the convoy, with the guards rushing about in a panic, searching for him. Hiding in the lee of the burning truck, the young man considered his options. Nieve was here somewhere. Was she in one of the wrecks? Was she hurt? _You gotta' end this,_ he decided. Stepping out, he conjured a sheet of thin ice, causing his pursuers to slip. That let him get in among them, slashing and stabbing with ice-daggers. Behind him, the burning truck erupted in flames. It was going up. Billy went forward along the convoy, finishing off guards as he went, making sure there was nobody still moving. In the middle of the pileup, he found Nieve, kneeling there in a state of abject terror next to the truck with the frozen brakes. Dressed in the typical Muscle Kingdom leotard, she appeared to be mostly unharmed, with her black hair a little wild.

Far from calming her, the sight of Finn the Human's son transformed her terror into abject rage. The curvy cutie leapt to her feet with a growl of anger and rushed him. Billy was startled by the reaction, as she slapped him hard enough to knock the spit from his mouth. "What the fuck," he snapped?! "I just saved your life!" "I was going to meet my fiancé," howled Nieve! "How dare you?! How dare you attack a sitting Royal?!" "You were going to be slaughtered," Billy retorted. "These guys weren't taking you to Qasim, Your Highness. They were taking you to his puppetmaster to be her prisoner." That gave the nasty bitch pause. He could see it in her eyes. This wasn't going where she had hoped.

"Qasim's in prison," Billy told her. "We know all about..." Shouting over him, she cut him off. She was back to anger and violence, shouting about her rights as a Royal. She had a half-dozen lies about what was going on, and she demanded to be taken to her fiancé. Rolling his eyes, Billy told her, "he's in jail. He's going to be locked up for a long, long time. He wasn't here to form some kind of alliance, Nieve, though I have every right to punish you for that too..." The princess cussed him, hurling a stream of abuse.

Somewhere in that flood of invective, Billy began to lose his tenuous hold on his temper. He'd rushed here to save this cunt's life. He'd risked his ass and his sanity both, and he'd risked Olesia's safety to snatch her from the hands of the Bandit Princess. This was the dubious thanks that he got. Halfway through that nasty tirade, she'd called him a liar, and that, more than anything else, pushed him over the line.

Her first warning was a stinging slap to the face that shut her up for just a couple of moments. Then, when she tried to punch him, things escalated fast. One moment, she had her fist cocked. The next, she was on her belly, across his knees, and his hand was flying towards her ass at painful velocity. Angry, Billy paddled that big, hard ass a long ten minutes as Nieve jumped and gyrated and squealed. After months of Abeiuwa's angst and Noemi's antics followed by weeks in a frantic effort to rescue a woman who was clearly involved with her abductors, the big man was plum out of patience. He'd been shocked at what his dad had suggested in Aysun's court. He'd been a little horrified that his dad would even suggest turning the robot-army loose on these folk just to prove a point. Now he was beginning to see.

These women weren't little angels. They weren't naive fools doing things they didn't know they shouldn't be doing. Some of them were awful people who needed to be put in their place. Some of them would have to get removed for the world to have peace again. He'd leave it to his dad to decide which group Nieve fell in. In the right now, he was going to give her that dose of medicine that her daddy should have given her when she was growing up.

Nieve's ass was a cherry-red when Billy shoved her off his lap. She knelt there on her hands and knees for a long five minutes, sniffling and spitting curses at him, but the big man was unmoved. Sobbing, the proud princess jumped up and threw herself at him. Billy stepped aside, grabbed her hair, and pulled her back against him. Softly, he said, "do you know how many ways I could kill you for your attempt to subvert the Peace, Nieve?" She shivered in abject terror as the temperature dropped precipitously around them–in the middle of the desert. It only dawned on her then just how dangerous this man was.

"Gather up a couple of water-bottles," he commanded. Her eyes flicked to the corpses. He wanted her to loot bodies! His expression was implacable. Sobbing, she gingerly pulled a water-flask off a corpse. She almost wretched at the sight of all the blood soaking into the sand. She was horrified to find the flask was _empty_. Billy howled laughter as she was forced to raid two more bodies. She actually hurled one of the empties at him. Catching it on the fly, he said, "one more, Nieve." She spat curses, but she did as she was told. He made her help as he looted the bodies and the wrecked vehicles for whatever they could lay hands on. Then, with his big right hand wrapped about her left arm in a grip of iron, the young hero dragged the unhappy princess into the night, bound for home.

Back in the Emerald Kingdom, Finn lay himself down, _exhausted_ , between the two princesses, with Alexia laying herself down facing him. It was the second time he'd had _angry_ sex. He'd shocked himself by doing _both_ princesses. He'd been pretty thoroughly fried when Aysun came storming in, but anger had given him energy. In the end, he'd kept his promise to Alex. Now Finn pulled Alex close, slipping his arms around her. Aysun slid up against his back, slipping her arms around his middle. _Two more on the pile,_ he thought. If this kept up, he'd be banging every princess on Ooo–at least the ones his sons weren't busy screwing.

 **One more thread has ended. Getting close to the finale of this Act.**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

"Well," said Orzsebet. "Isn't _this_ cozy?"

Finn started awake. This wasn't the first time Orzsebet had found him this way. "I thought you learned to knock," the King of Ooo growled, as he climbed out from between the two women. His voice and the shaking of the bed woke the Emerald Princess, who squealed in shock and fear before she fell out of the bed. "Outside," Finn muttered, as the Agent Princess rose to her feet. With a smirk and a mocking little bow, the Lady of Spies turned and went out into the anteroom.

Gathering on a robe, Finn went outside to find his cunty nemesis standing at the window, staring out at the desert. "It wouldn't wait," she said. "Your in-law showed up this morning. The Grid-Face people found something that worried them on the edge of their territory." Even his voice seemed to frown, as Finn demanded, "what was it?" "A rocket," Orzsebet murmured. "Or so I'm told." "Blargetha," Finn muttered. It was Orzsebet's turn to frown, but Finn was already moving on. "Tell Piotr that I want to go to the site of the rocket...," he said, as he turned for the bathroom. "I'll be down in fifteen minutes. Stiffly, she said, "as you wish, my King." Without a further word, she strode across the room and out.

Finn was halfway to the bathroom when Alexia peeked out of the bedroom. "She's gone," he muttered. Alexia flushed to her hair, but Finn was already moving on. Striding into the bathroom, the big man ran the hot water in the sink, while he stood there a moment taking a good, long look at himself in the mirror. He was getting too old for this shit. That was what immediately struck him. He was getting much too old for this. He had to figure out a better way to do things. Instinct had served him well, but maybe it was time to finally find a new way to do business.

Aysun was gone when he emerged from the bathroom, showered and shaved. But then Aysun had, once again, done something stupid. She'd spent the last twenty years or so ducking responsibility for being foolish, and now, having never learned her lesson, she'd been stupid again. The good news? He had no interest in stealing from her. He didn't want her wealth, and he had more power than he really wanted already. He only cared that the emeralds she controlled weren't used to foster war.

Alexia was waiting on him on the couch, wearing only her blushes. Rising, the Laurel Princess approached him, saying, "I... I need to work something out with you." Finn nodded, as he strode back into the bedroom. The big man began gathering on clothing, as the little princess watched. "I'm getting on in years, Finn," she said. "Your biological clock is ticking," Finn muttered. He knew. Alex shivered. New Finn. Old Finn would have had no idea what that meant. "A man can pretty much do it up to the day he croaks," Alex murmured. "You're worried that it's not going to take," Finn muttered. "I... I kinda' need you to do it to me... a _lot_ ," she said. His mind was already two steps ahead. She was getting old enough that her getting knocked-up was getting to be a little tough. He and Dr. P had tried kind of a _lot_.

"If we can't get the job done in a few months, I'll take you in to Dr. P," Finn said. "We'll do it the hard way with her science-biz. Ok?" Alexia blew out a breath. "Thank-you," she murmured. Finn turned and drew her into his arms and hugged her. "I never stopped being your friend, Al," he murmured. Even when she'd turned her back on _him_. The little woman cried. She cried for a long five minutes, and Finn held her as that storm of emotions swept her along. But Finn had somewhere to be. "I have to go," he rumbled, as he released her. Blargetha was out there, somewhere, and she was building weapons for someone. Again. Still.

The King of Ooo found Nadia's uncle waiting on him in Aysun's audience-chamber. "Your Majesty," the cyborg greeted him. "Piotr," Finn replied. "What're we looking at?" The cyborg drew a hologram projector and held it out in front of him. A glowing image of a crumpled and crushed metal object appeared. "This passed one of our airships," said the cyborg. "It's speed and trajectory suggested that it came from somewhere on Ooo." Orzsebet watched the King as he listened to that exposition, finding herself more than a little disturbed that those long words bothered him not the slightest. He wasn't the same man. Even after months of contact, she was having trouble getting used to that. "Blargetha's doing," Finn murmured.

"How do you know that," Orzsebet growled? She didn't like mysteries. She didn't like the fact that he so clearly knew things she didn't. "Princess Blargetha is a genius," the King of Ooo rumbled. "Or do you think any dumbass can conjure up war-machines from thin air?" He wasn't a fan of the evil bitch, but he respected her brain. He'd kept Blargetha in the strongest security for more than one reason. Oh, she _was_ a threat to Hurletta as long as she was alive, but, at the same time, Blargetha was dangerous all on her own. With the dangerous thoughts floating around in her head, she was one of the greatest threats to Ooo in existence. Turning to Piotr, he asked the obvious, "can you trace it back to where it came from?" "We already have," the cyborg replied. Nodding, Finn said, "take me there." Turning to the Captain of the Guard, he said, "go and fetch Patrick Petrikov and gather up a company of guards." It was time to put Blargetha out of business.

Out in the desert, Billy the Human glanced up at the sky. It was still a little chill, but that was life in a desert for you. The blazing hot sun would be back soon. They'd been walking pretty much all night, and both of them were exhausted. He had a decision to make. Did they keep going? Or did they hunker down right here? Miles from the Emerald City, with no food and little water, it was dangerous to keep going under the hot desert sun, but it was dangerous to stay too. _Leo's coming,_ Billy thought. Leo wasn't the kind of man who would let him down, and Lina was very resourceful when it came to the science-biz.

"We'll camp out here for a bit," Billy announced. Nieve gave him a look full of spite and hate, but he ignored that in favor of scrabbling for some kind of fuel. Gathering up sticks and twigs, he kept his eyes out for any sort of critters he could find and finally managed to scare up a couple of fat scorpions. As Nieve watched in puzzlement, the big man killed the pair and chopped off their tails and claws for good measure.

She did her best to stand aloof to this nasty barbarian. She'd given him a good looking over when he arrived on her doorstep the previous year. She'd been all smiles and delighted to be chosen Princess by her family over her idiot aunt. She'd honestly thought of taking him as a toy. Every princess needed a toy. Bonnibel had kept his father as her toy for _years_. Now, she would gladly have cut his balls off and fed them to him.

The young hero conjured ice from the dry air, coming up with a paltry amount. That at least served to fill one of the canteens. Water in hand, he channeled the stolen energy into the twigs and debris he'd found, causing the mass of scraps to light. He was learning. It was an idea he'd have to share with his mother when next he saw her. He didn't imagine sharing her mind and body with the Ice-Crown as any more fun than what he was dealing with. Nieve glanced up as he was putting the two scorpions on skewers. "W-what're you doing," she demanded? "Making breakfast," he replied.

The pretty princess gawked at him. Billy paid her no heed, as he carefully cooked the two venomous beasties up. When he was done, he took them off the fire, saying, "I don't have any seasoning..." "I won't do it," Nieve announced. Billy frowned at her. "Th-that's disgusting," the princess growled! "You'd feed me disgusting garbage!" "I'm feeding you what I have available," Billy retorted. Gesturing, he said, "this ain't a date, and there isn't a restaurant for miles." Chin jutting, she said, "then you'd better hunt for some game, Mr. Mertens."

Billy's eyes began to glow in a weird, greyish-white light, and, in a voice like stones grinding on stones, the big man said, "you will eat what I've provided, princess. You understand what I'll do if you don't..." Nieve gave vent to a squeak of terror. "It's hot," he warned, as she began chowing down on scorpion. Carefully, he picked off bits of his meal, choking it down in spite of his own disgust. This was part of the deal. His dad had told him that and made him understand it from a very early age. While the Candy Kingdom was nominally _civilized_ , you didn't have to go very far from home to get into very real trouble.

Meanwhile, back in the Emerald City, Alexia Galitsis stepped out of the shower at the call of her aide. There was a functionary from her host waiting at the door with an invitation. Rolling her eyes in irritation, the Laurel Princess tore the seal off the missive and quickly glanced at the contents. Aysun wanted a meeting. Just the two of them. This could be real trouble, or it could be something else. Aysun was in a bit of a bind just now. She really couldn't afford to be attacking another princess, even in her own home. She was almost friendless in her own kingdom at the moment. With a sigh of irritation, Alexia told her aide to respond in the affirmative before returning to the bath to finish cleaning up.

A scant half-hour later, she found herself walking into Aysun's solar, dressed in the Royal Purple of the Laurel Kingdom–a harsh reminder to her host of just who she was. The Emerald Princess was waiting for her at a large, round table, heaped with local delicacies. She'd always eaten well when she came here. It was strange, but Alexia's kingdom had more arable land than Aysun's misbegotten _desert_ , but Alexia had never had the money to set a board like her host. Aysun had never said a word about the relative paucity of food when she came to Alexia's home to visit. Of course, it helped to be swimming in emeralds and gold.

"Aysun," Alexia greeted the Emerald Princess. "Princess Alexia," Aysun replied. Alexia couldn't help noticing two things. One, her chair was placed within intimate distance of her host. Two, there were no chaperones to hear of what they spoke of. This was getting _interesting_. Seating herself, the little woman reached out and helped herself. Since she was here, and since she'd hardly eaten in all the commotion the previous day, she might as well feast! For a while, Aysun just sat there watching, saying not a word. It was, to coin a phrase, _weird_. It was weird that Aysun was happy to just sit there watching her. It was almost, but not quite, enough to get the Laurel Princess to stop eating.

"What happened to us, Alexia," the Emerald Princess murmured? "You used to be my best friend." Her guest had a ready response. Glob knew she'd been thinking about this herself for long enough. With a shrug, Alexia replied, "our bodies grew up, but our hearts didn't. We found boys, and we clean walked by wisdom." Aysun flushed to her hair. There had been a time she'd been a laughing stock with her careful appearances and her chaperones when it seemed like half the kingdom knew her secret shame.

Alexia told her, "he was a rogue, Aysun. He was a rogue who liked popping little spoiled rich girls because our egos make us too blind to see through the lies." He'd fed their egos, managed to fuck the pair of them, and walked away with a fortune in emeralds and gold coins. Finn had been two hot seconds from butchering him, but _he_ had ended up banished from both kingdoms.

"I should have let Finn kill him," sobbed Aysun! "I should have!" Instead, she'd spent her best years pining away for a man who'd done the pump-and-dump! Alexia sighed heavily, sounding thoroughly miserable. "You had two kids," howled the Emerald Princess, "what are you complaining about?!" The Laurel Princess chuckled. "Fucked up raising them," she sighed. "Didn't do any better picking the second man than I did the first." He'd been another bad boy, but he'd chosen surfing over having a wife and kids. Laughing bitterly, Alexia said, "I don't know if they inherited _his_ tiny little brain or mine. The pair of them... they were dumb as a box of rocks."

She could see it now. Suadela had been flighty and callow. Nick had been vain and egotistical. Her daughter had gotten herself in over her head with her partying and hanging out with ugly and dangerous people. Her son had been too vain to see that he couldn't handle the matter all by his lonesome. And Alexia herself? Well, she'd been too busy running with her unsavory little friends and causing trouble out of anger and bitter regret.

"What do we do now," rumbled Aysun? "I... I feel like I haven't got a chance. I made Qasim my heir because nobody seems to want me..." She didn't have a heap of time left. Alexia told her, "I made a deal with Finn. I... I know part of it is that he feels he owes me for what happened to my daughter. Damned fool feels guilty for what happened under _my_ nose." Aysun was staring at her. With a helpless shrug, Alexia told her, "I can let my line die, Aysun, or I can ask the world's best father to help me." The Emerald Princess blushed to her hair. "It's not like you don't know what fucking is, Aysun," laughed the Laurel Princess. In a timid voice, the Emerald Princess asked, "are you?" With a shrug, Alexia replied, "we haven't seriously been working at it. Fucking Lamprey Princess got it first shot up the tube." With a sigh, the Emerald Princess rumbled, "but at least you're _trying_."

"You're not bad to look at Aysun," Alexia said. Her neighbor blushed to her hair. She'd been involved in group-sex. Another woman had seen her naked. She was going to hell for sure now. It was bad enough that she'd twice screwed a strange man who wasn't her husband. Now she was the kind of woman who took part in orgies. Alexia was still speaking, calmly reminding her that she still had a flat stomach and decent breasts. Finn had certainly not seemed to mind it. "Shut up," howled Aysun! Alexia laughed in her face. "You want a baby or _not_ , Aysun," she retorted?! "I'm going to get him to put his bastard in me. He even wants to help raise it so I don't fuck it up this time. This is your chance, girl! Take it!"

Aysun subsided, and it was clear her mind was working on that. Alexia took her hand and said, "let's start over, Aysun. Both of us. Let's resolve today to grow up. Finally." The Emerald Princess's face looked conflicted, and she was clearly _thinking_ about the matter. Blowing out a breath, the tall girl finally muttered, "alright."

Back in the desert, Billy was working on survival, considering things he could do to improve their chances. The Tiara was in the back of his mind, just now, suggesting that he could just _fly away_. He could fly away and make his way back to the ocean. It was cooler near the ocean. Of course, Billy knew that the Tiara was only trying to save itself. The entity that was the Ice Tiara was only ever interested in its own well-being. How did it survive if Billy died out here in the desert?

It was funny, in a way. The Tiara would have been much better off if Fionna had been first-born. The Tiara had been preparing Billy for this unhappy role for the entirety of his gestation and birthing in his mother's womb. But Billy was a man. He couldn't birth his own descendant. Fionna would have been a better option, but Simone Mertens had been separated from the Tiara before Fionna was even conceived. _You'll die with me,_ Billy thought. _Nobody gets out alive, buddy. You'll go with me into Dead-World._ Shutting out the ugly thoughts that wanted to take control of his mind, the big man turned to the job of putting up a hut with some salvaged blankets.

Nieve spat, "worthless! Why would we need a tent?! It's hotter than hades!" "Because it will keep the sun from burning us, _princess_ ," Billy retorted. "There's a lot of ways to die in a desert. Sunburn can actually kill you, if it's bad enough. The sun can even burn out your eyes." And he went right back to what he was doing. The young princess refused to look at him, which was fine. He wasn't a fan of hers either. Working swiftly as he could, he got a makeshift shelter erected, scooping out sand. When he was done, he made the princess crawl inside and lay down on her belly. He sat himself in the shadow of the entry, staring back in the direction of the Emerald City. That was where help would be coming from.

As the sun spun across the sky, a glint of something shiny brought the young hero out of the shelter. Squinting into the distance, he did his best to gauge just where it was, finding that it was at a fairly substantial altitude. _Airship,_ he thought? He found himself wondering if his dad had come searching.

Shaking off his puzzlement, he retrieved a coal from the fire he'd started earlier and then lit the signal fire he'd laid out. Coaxing power from the dry desert air, the young hero fanned the flame, creating a hot, black smoke. The minutes crawled by, as he did his best to keep the fire going with the minuscule fuel he had. This was his bet hope. If not, they'd be walking. Finally, much to his shock, a balloon came wafting out of the brilliant mid-morning sunlight, floating down to within a hundred feet of the ground.

"Morning, boss," Leo announced. Shaking his head in amused disbelief, Billy chuckled. Just like he'd figured. Lina had conjured up a miracle out of scraps of leather saddle from the camels. "Olesia and Tom helped me craft the balloon," Lina admitted. The two elementals were the unlikely source of heat for the air in the balloon. Billy could have kissed the plump girl. Of course, he'd have second or third degree burns after that, so he settled for dragging his recalcitrant companion over to the balloon and helping her climb aboard.

As Tom and Olesia climbed back into the glass-fiber balloon to reheat the air, Billy glanced skyward at the familiar sound of an airship. _Dad,_ Billy thought. He thought it was his father. It was too much of a coincidence to have an airship here so close to Emerald City. The ship was moving in an awful big hurry, too. Something new had come up. His dad was heading off alone–maybe with Thor and Patrick. That made the young hero a little uneasy. His dad was getting too old for this shit, and Patrick was kind of a wuss. _Don't sweat it,_ thought Billy. _One thing at a time._ He had to get Nieve back to civilization first. His dad would have been the first to tell him to get the job he was on finished before taking on more. He could go running after his father afterwards. He just hoped Patrick and/or Thor stepped up to the plate.

Indeed, aboard the airship, Patrick Petrikov was feeling his own inadequacy for the task at hand. He'd been a fuckup on this hop from first to last. He'd fallen for a pretty face and fallen into a stupid trap. If not for Cherry and Star dropping in, he and Thor might have gotten murdered in their sleep if they ever did finally break Cerelia's hold on them. He'd cheated on his wife, who was sitting at home pregnant. It helped not at all that the whole reason he had been sent was so that a sitting Royal didn't have to go get her hands dirty–and risk her ass–on something a flunky should be doing. Instead, Cherry had found herself involved anyway, putting her and Star in reach of the Bandit Princess.

And now here he was supposedly helping Finn, and he couldn't help feeling even more inadequate than before. Finn the Stud, who kept a baker's dozen girls on the string. Finn the Hero of Heroes. Finn the King of flippin' everything. And what the hell did he need Patrick for? He could literally hop through time if he wanted. It made Patrick want to shout at him. His father-in-law and now his stepdad. Patrick was the son of the loser. He felt like his dad was a loser. Finn was his father's friend, but Finn had ended up with Patrick's mom because his dad was a loser. It sometimes felt like that when he saw everything that Finn had managed to accomplish, while Patrick's dad was dead and buried.

Patrick looked up at the sound of footsteps coming down the deck. He'd chosen to pretty much exile himself back here at the very back end of the ship, near the big cargo doors. Finn had been up at the cockpit talking to Piotr the Grid-Face Person almost since they got aboard. Now he came strolling back, looking like the stereotypical 'sharp-dressed-man'. Patrick wanted to hide his face. He felt about three inches tall.

"Patrick," Finn greeted his stepson as he sat himself. Patrick's eyes wanted to slide away. Why had he come back here? It couldn't be that he had anything to talk about. Could it? Or, worse thought, maybe he did have something to talk about. Patrick blushed to his hair. He'd cheated on this guy's daughter. He'd given Fionna a bun in the oven and then cheated on her. Not that Finn or anybody else had said a word about it.

"You can say it," muttered Patrick. Finn gave him a frown of puzzlement. "I cheated," Patrick spat. "I'm a loser. I'm a fuckup..." Finn's eyebrow climbed a notch. In a voice that sounded more puzzled than anything, the older man said, "you're a man. At least that's what I thought you were." Patrick's head whipped around. "Did you think it was really that easy, Patrick," Finn rumbled? "Happily ever after?" He made it sound stupid. "The story doesn't end at 'I do'," the King of Ooo rumbled. "It can't ever be easy when there's _two_ people in the mix, and they each have their own wants and needs. One side or the other's got to give in, but there's always a conflict, and sometimes stuff breaks down. Sometimes you can't find a way to make things work, and you end up breaking up..."

Patrick stiffened, his face taking on a look of utterest horror. That was the _last_ thing he wanted. "...sometimes you find that it's stupid shit, and you both need to put it aside and move on," Finn continued. "The question is... are you _man_ enough to see your own part in the drama and work to fix it? Or do you let everything fall apart because you don't have the stones to face your failings."

The big man turned and stared him straight in the eye, his blue-eyes burning into Patrick's until Patrick glanced away. "It's hard work being a father and a provider," Finn said. "You're pulled in too many different directions at once, and sometimes you can't even figure out what it is you're supposed to do, much less _why_. You're a guy, and your nads are telling you to chase ass because that's what you're wired for. That's how your mom said it to me. You're wired to chase ass because that's how the human animal keeps going through the generations. Girls choose and dudes chase. At the same time, you're supposed to put that shit aside to take care of the one you already got and make sure your seed grows up and gets out on its own, but your body isn't thinking about that, so you're getting blue-balls while the wife has that bun in the oven, and she can't do anything to help you."

Patrick flinched from that hard assessment, but Finn wasn't done. The King of Ooo told him, "you think, 'I'm a good guy... I don't do that shit'. And you don't. You don't until the pressure gets too much, and you slip off the pedestal that one time. Maybe you're lucky, and all you do is rub one out, thinking of some other girl. Maybe you go down to the club and watch the girls there... The question isn't how you break the promise. It's what you do afterwards... Anyways... We're going to be fighting an unknown number of dudes when we land. You don't get to fix things with Fionna if you're dead." Without a further word, he got up and headed back up the length of the plan, leaving Patrick staring after him in a state of shock.

The airship came swooping out of the sky over a strange, sunken cavern. Roughly oval, the cavernous pit went down a good forty or fifty feet to a sandy bottom. Above it, a rough, sandy hill rose, dotted with scrubs and trees. That hill ended in a steep drop-off to the rough, jumbled stone of a ravine. "This the place," Finn asked? Piotr replied, "we don't have a precise location. The rocket came from somewhere near here." Finn nodded, as the gears turned. They could have built the thing down in that hole. They could have built it in the hole and wheeled it out somehow.

The man behind him announced, "picking up radio signals. There's phones down there." "That's them," Finn muttered. Indeed, a glint of light from up the hill announced that maybe there was a hidden transmitter there. Somebody was maybe calling for help. Piotr growled, "jam it." "Jamming," the radio operator announced. In the mean time, the cyborg deftly steered the flying machine back over the nearest sand-dune and out of sight. It was time to get busy.

Blargetha heard the alarms and glanced up in puzzlement. It took a few moments. And then, as she realized that something potentially serious was happening, her hand slipped into the pocket of her skirt. She'd been here _days_. She'd been here since the demonstration really, waiting on the Queen of Ooo to do whatever she planned to do next. The slime-princess hadn't been idle. Honestly, while she'd been putting in work on the rocket plans, she'd also been secretly tinkering on the phone they'd slipped to her in Finn's dungeon.

Now, with the sounds of feet running in the hallway, she figured it was as good a time as any to maybe do a little looking. Who knew what she might find? A truck? An airship? She could steal something, and if she could steal a ride, she could figure out how to pilot it. Pressing the phone against the electronic lock, the plush princess dialed her way through a couple of frequencies, testing the waters, all while she hummed and whistled a tune in her usual off-key fashion

It took a while. The Queen of Ooo clearly had money and access to resources. The lock wasn't easy to fry. Still, the plump little genius was game. Working with one ear open for the goings on in the compound and her eyes on the phone's screen, she teased at the lock with sound and radio waves, working her way through the spectrum, best she was able. She could hear shouts and the sounds of violence from elsewhere inside the compound. The trouble was getting closer. Now, just as her fear was starting to ratchet up a bit, the lock gave over, popping open with a metallic clunk.

Calmly, the plump woman gathered up the secret stash she'd been building. Clothing. She needed more than just the clothes on her back. Who knew what was outside this compound or how far she had to go to get to civilization? A little hoarded food. Water. She'd need a little water if it was hot out there. Otherwise she risked drying out. She had the whole bundle wrapped up in a waterproof cloth–against the risk of rain. Shouldering the bag, she slipped out, her mind on finding the exit.

Elsewhere in the compound, Finn was working his way through the Bandit Princess's guards, his borrowed soldiers reaping a toll on them. It was just as he'd thought–dozens of masterless men fighting a losing battle to safeguard their illicit prize–and a piece of him kept hoping that this was it. He hoped she was holed-up here. That would let him put this whole thing to bed and get back to his family. He missed his wives and his kids. The time apart was killing him. A bandit stepped into the hallway ahead of him and leveled a dart-gun. Finn calmly deflected the dart that would have shredded his stepson. Leveling the pistol hidden up his sleeve, he shot the man between the eyes.

"Pay attention," Finn rumbled. Patrick flushed to his hair. He was having trouble with that. He was off today. He'd been off since Cherry caught him cheating on his wife. _But you don't get to make it up if you die,_ he thought. Finn was all too right. The young man refocused on the job at hand. He needed to put in work for their defense until they could get clear of here.

Business got a little more dangerous as they worked their way through the maze of tunnels. There were cross-tunnels that let the thugs work in behind them. There were small caverns and storerooms that made great spots for ambushes. And there were plenty of traps.

Again and again, Finn used that uncanny skill of his to pick out just when and where they were going to be jumped. It was fucking amazing for a man who'd been famous for just fighting his way _through_ enemies as if he was invulnerable. Patrick and the Emerald Guard found themselves struggling to keep up through the twists and turns of the tunnel as the enemy hit them again and again.

Meanwhile, Blargetha found herself making her way through what had clearly been an underground weapons-facility like that one where she'd found her tank. It stood to reason that her _benefactors_ had some idea that things like this existed. They'd asked some very specific questions of her, suggesting they had some knowledge of what they were asking her to build. Now she knew why.

Back in somewhat familiar territory, the plump woman paused long enough in her headlong flight to locate a map–complete with 'You Are Here'. She had a chance now. There was a pathway to the surface. Whistling, she began to jog along now. Before, when she'd been dancing on the trapdoor with the noose seemingly wrapped tight on her neck, she'd have been happy to be back in her cell in Finn's dungeon. Now she saw a way to be free.

 **Closing in fast on the end of Part 1. Nieve's been 'rescued'. Finn's closing in on Blargetha's prison. Stay-tuned for the finale of Act I.**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31:

"Watch the left," Finn shouted! Patrick looked up to see three more men come through the door on his left. Two leveled guns, while the third protected them with a shield. Patrick felt and heard the crack of the steel dart as it passed him to kill the Emerald Guard behind him. Their return fire hit the shield. These guys had come well prepared. It was a terrifying example of what Fionna had been saying to him before he left. They were playing the _game_ at a higher level than before. They weren't a couple of boisterous kids raising hell. They here the Royal Family. Peeps were going to hate just for that.

The shield absorbed Patrick's ice-bolts. It was the kind of nasty situation that terrified him. He wasn't good with thinking on his feet. Fionna would have been across the room in the blink of an eye, doing the slice-and-dice. Finn blocked two more darts, as he shouted for somebody– _anybody_ –to take down their snipers. Focusing as much on the need to keep on breathing as on his powers, Patrick finally focused on the shield itself. Chilling the shield to freezing temperature, he caused the man holding it to let go in shock. Two Emerald Guards promptly shot the newcomers, laying out all three.

The soldiers slowly gained the upper hand, pushing the gangsters back and back and back again until they had finally slaughtered them all. Now Finn stopped and took stock of what he had and what he was dealing with. There were a _lot_ of dudes here. There were far more than he'd been expecting. That gave him hope that maybe this was the place. Maybe he'd finally get to grips with the woman causing all the problems. On the flip side, he was losing men, and that bothered him. _Stay or go, Finn,_ he thought, as he surveyed the scene.

If he left now, he risked his foes being gone when he returned. He could save the men he'd brought, but he'd risk losing them later anyway. If Bandit Princess could raise the numbers he'd seen here, she might have many, many more. The east, in particular, seemed _full_ of starving men. _Stay,_ he decided. He had to get to the bottom of this. Pressing now might save more lives down the road.

When the Emerald Guard had licked their wounds, the big man pressed onward, navigating the twists and turns of the maze-like fortress. The hill seemed _honeycombed_ with passages linking large, open spaces. It was the open spaces that were the most dangerous, as they allowed the enemy to ambush the soldiers and bring numbers against them. The Emerald Guard, having long had little to deal with other than the occasional dangerous beasty from the wastelands, was unsuited to this kind of fight. Finn decided he'd be fixing that. He'd have Thor here fixing it. Maybe if he was _working_ , he'd be too tired to be thinking with his dick. It had certainly worked for _Finn_ when he was that age.

They were approaching a single door at the end of a long corridor when a strangely dressed man stepped out. Finn's hackles went up immediately. He was already conjuring one of his disks when the man lit into them with bolts of lightning. _Wizard,_ thought the King. Again and again the strange figure at the end of the hall conjured up death, hurling bolts of lightning and fire at them. " _Patrick_ ," Finn shouted! The young wizard, who'd frozen when the madman started in trying to kill them, finally acted, hurling jagged daggers of ice at their assailant. One of the deadly missiles got through, piercing the wizard through the throat. As he crumpled, the soldiers rushed forward to finish him off.

"Think he's done," Finn muttered, as he brushed past the angry guards. The frantic hacking and chopping finally stopped. Striding through the door to see what their foe had been guarding, Finn found his breath caught. Simone and Cherry had both told him about this, though they'd both had their own spin on the matter. Cherry thought it was very dangerous. For Simone, it was a matter for _pity_. Finn wasn't quite sure _what_ he felt.

Maja was asleep. She was asleep as she'd been when last he'd seen her. She lay propped up in a bed, and it was clear they'd had docs working on her. There was a feeding-tube in her right arm, and a breathing tube in her nose.

And there was a card-wars mat.

That was the thing that astonished him. The mat was almost _alive_. It was alive with the sights of people and places all over Ooo. As he stared at it, he saw Drew. The pretty doctor was bathing Maja's baby back in the Candy Palace, singing for the little boy as she washed him. In another place, Simone stood with Betty, looking at something that seemed to worry them. And then there was the ghostly figure of Finn. Standing over Maja's bed.

Forcing calm into his voice, the King of Ooo said, "Cenk. Go back to Piotr and tell him to send for medical help from the capitol." The Emerald Guard tore out of there, in spite of his injuries. "Berk," said Finn. "I think that dude was the last. Start a search." He wanted to make sure, and he wanted to see if they could figure out just what had been going on here. The officer started dispatching penny-packets of his soldiers, sending them scattering through the maze of rooms and passages. Nobody was arguing today, and that helped Finn's mind quite a bit.

The Emerald Guard ransacked the place under the King's supervision. They kicked in every door and looked in every room. That led them to the strange little space that seemed as if it were laboratory, bedroom, and prison all at once. Looking in the small chest that sat in a corner, the King found a heavy-weight bra and a fairly substantial pair of panties. _Blargetha,_ he thought. The slime-princess had been here. Moving to the table in the center of the room, the big man examined the items there. She'd been here _today_. Maybe within the hour. Turning to the leader of the Emerald Guard, Finn the King rumbled, "there was a woman here, Berk. Find her."

Blargetha was standing under the bunker's transmitter when the Emerald Guard located her. She'd gotten as far as the surface and found herself completely unsure just what to do next. She was possibly hundreds of miles from any kind of civilization. There were no roads that she could see. She had no compass, and even could she create one, she had no idea which direction she should go. She was _lost_. She'd found this transmitter, and come up with the half-crazy idea of hacking into it to send a message. Trouble was, for a woman with no friends, anybody she summoned could be an enemy.

"Blargetha," a familiar voice shouted! The plump woman ducked behind the transmitter. Finn. It figured that Finn would be here. "Come out," Finn growled! "Come out where I can see you!" "What do you want," the plump woman retorted?! She could see him coming up the hill. He had that fucking cunt, Orzsebet, with him. "Love the company you're keeping," the snarky princess opined. Ignoring the jab, Finn circled to the right to get a better view of her. If she could conjure up an escape from _two_ prisons, she could conjure up weapons. He _knew_ she could build dangerous things.

She was a little thinner than he remembered, though still rather plush. "Not eating so good," he remarked? Blargetha cussed him. She'd been fucking _starving_! These people had been starving her. "I need to know," Finn rumbled. "Did you go with them? Willingly?" Her face went hot, as she registered what he meant. Her life was on the line. She could tell by the look in his eyes. She was on the ragged edge. "I'm a princess," she shot back! "I have rights!" "You traded your rights," Finn replied. His voice was hard and cold. "You traded your freedom to steal power, B," he said. "You're a criminal. Now you've been making weapons for the enemies of the peace..." She blinked and glanced away, and he had his answer. "They promise you freedom," he asked? "Is that it? Was that why you went with them?"

"So what're you going to do," muttered Blargetha?! "I'll never stop trying to be free! You'll have to kill me!" Finn's face was contorted in a rictus of rage, as he stepped forward. Stepping away from him, she shrieked, "is that what you want to do?! Kill me?! I know that's what you want!" Finn laughed in her face as he reached out with the tendrils of the grass-sword, fastening them about her neck and legs. Blargetha suddenly found herself snatched aloft. It was like the awful moment where Maja had threatened to tear her limb from limb! The hapless slime-person came to the sudden realization that this wasn't going anywhere she had expected it to go.

"You're right, Blargetha. I want to kill you," he said. "For what you did to Hurletta. For what you did to Breakfast and Toast. And for using war-machines to wreck the Peace of Ooo. I spared your life, when I could just as easily have taken it. I can remedy that, Blargetha. I can kill you, and I could probably make you experience that death for _hours_ if not _days_." The pressure was growing, and she found she couldn't breathe anymore. Why had she antagonized him?! It seemed madness to antagonize this man when he seemed as powerful as Glob!

Out of options or ideas, the fallen princess began to beg and plead. She begged for her life just as she'd been daring him to take it moments earlier. Somewhere at the height of that awful moment, when it seemed no amount of pleading would satisfy him, the King of Ooo simply let go, letting her fall to the ground with a heavy thud. The battered princess lay there in a moaning heap at his feet as he stared down at her. After studying her a moment, the King of Ooo grabbed her by her 'hair' and jerked her upright again. Coldly, Finn told her, "I'm going to give you something to _do_ , B. You're going to be too busy to be trying to escape."

He held up his finger and thumb in front of her eyes. There was a seed there. Grabbing the front of her dress, he tore open her bodice. Having just been cruelly tortured, she was only able to scream feebly. Drawing his hand back he drove his fingers deep into her chest. She knew he was killing her. She was certain of it. She was so certain he meant to kill her, that when he drew his hand back, she knelt there, expecting to find herself in the Night-O-Sphere.

When she finally opened her eyes, he was standing there looming over her, his blue eyes hard and cold. Glancing down, she found an ugly scar down along her right booby. "I have some things you're going to do for me," he said. He brushed the side of her face and her 'hair' almost tenderly, as he explained, "there're things Nadia can't do for me, B. She'd be violating her people's laws, you see. But you're already a criminal. Please me, and you live. Betray me, and... well, the seed will grow into a tree... And you won't survive the experience." Turning away, he said, "fix your dress. It's time to go."

The hapless princess tottered to her feet. She wobbled there a moment, but Finn gave her no time to get herself together. Grabbing her by the shoulder, he shoved her down the hill. The plush princess nearly face-planted. Catching herself, she went stumbling down the hill in a daze. Finn followed along after her, his mind already moving on to the things he had to get done next. He needed to get home and look in on his family.

Orzsebet fell in at his side as he followed the slime-creature back down the hill. "You know you can't trust her," she muttered. "She'll betray you first chance she gets." Finn chuckled. It was pot calling kettle, but he expected that out of the Agent Princess. More to the point, he already had plans to keep the nasty bitch out of trouble. Sarah couldn't be building weapons for him. She purely didn't have the time. However, she could easily _supervise_ his little problem. At least until the day that Blargetha decided to die.

"Are you even listening to me," the spy muttered? "I think you need to focus on finding out who the ogre-woman is," Finn replied. She sniffed in disappointed anger. Finn grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. Taking her face in his hands, the big man told her, "I'm pleased, Orzsebet. Your work has been satisfactory. Please continue your efforts in the east. Find me that name." And without a further word, he strode down the hill, leaving her staring after him.

Far from feeling elated at the outcome of business in Aysun's kingdom, Finn felt drained as he strode into his quarters at the close of the day. While Aysun was no longer acting cunty and raising hell, Finn was far from happy about her participation in the stupidity he'd just dealt with. Part of it was the worry over Maja. He was worried about her. The sight of her shifting objects around on the Card Wars mat had given him hope, but she hadn't come out of her sleep. Part of it was the very real sense that he'd dodged a bullet. Blargetha had been working on some very dangerous things. His enemies had been very specific about taking her and very specific about what they wanted her to build. It might take a genius to build a rocket, but it didn't take a genius to think of all the ugly things they could _carry_.

Part of him felt remorse over his rage. He'd been an asshole the last couple of days, and he knew it. He was at his wits end. Between the frustration of trying to track down the Bandit Princess, the sudden shock and fear of finding that she was moving against his family, maybe even trying to lure Emeraude to her death, and the ugly revelation about just how close to the truth he'd been with Blargetha's abduction, he'd been kind of an emotional mess. Drew was right. He was edging closer to the limit, and he'd done things he honestly wasn't that proud of.

He'd been angry at Blargetha. He'd felt a whole lot of anger at her for all the things she'd done the last couple of years. At the same time, torturing her wasn't right, and he knew it. He'd lost his temper with Aysun and hit her, and he felt bad about that too. He'd been at his wits end with a woman who'd once been a friend. He'd felt an ugly desire to _really_ show her the consequences of the things she'd been screwing around with, and that was a bridge much too far. When you added in the twisted bondage-sex, he was a whole lot of conflicted about the previous night.

"I don't want this," he muttered. He didn't know who those words were meant for, but it was the truth. He didn't want this job anymore. He wanted his old life back. He wanted to be back in the treehouse–with Simone and E and their kids. He liked his old life and its glorious simplicity. _Can't go home, dude,_ he told himself. He was ridin' the tiger.

Shaking off the worry and unhappiness, the big man strode over to the side-table and began shedding the weight of equipment he bore. That kit had scarcely changed since he'd been twenty–more than two decades ago, and honestly, there were moments he was tired of the weight of it. He was supposed to be resting now–setting down the burdens of rushing around, but things never quite seemed to work that way.

As he was staring into the bathroom mirror and contemplating the growth of whitish-blonde hair around his chin, there came a knocking at the door. Warily, the big man fingered the dagger hidden up his coat-sleeve. "Yes," he called? "Sire," said a voice. "I bear Royal Gifts." Frowning now, Finn left the bath and went to the door. Warily, he opened it a crack and found a pair of strapping fellows there. One was dressed in the uniform of the Emerald Guard. The other came dressed in the uniform of the Laurel Guard. Wearing an expression of utter confusion, Finn opened the door and stepped aside.

The two men came in, both bearing large baskets. Under his watchful eye, they set the baskets up in front of the fireplace. Pronouncing that the night might be chill, the Emerald Guard bent and lit the fire. At the same time, the Laurel Guard clapped his hands and a pair of servants bustled in, bringing wine and food. Finn, who'd been far too busy to even eat for most of the day, found himself feeling suddenly famished–as if suddenly reminded of his hunger. Bowing obsequiously to the King, the two soldiers made their way to the door, bidding him good night, leaving Finn alone once more.

Finn went and locked the door behind them. Moving to the table, he took a good look at the food presented. He was a little surprised to find Golden Honey there in a tiny jar, and his mind went to Breezy and her troubles with Bart. He wished he knew how to fix that, but that was Breezy's life, and he couldn't meddle. Sitting down, the big man found himself turning that jar over and over in his hands as he thought about the way Breezy had sounded last he heard her voice. In spite of his wives, in spite of his many commitments, and even in spite of the fact that he'd promised/offered/agreed to help Teri, Riley, and Alexia have babies of their own, he hungered for Breezy.

Something inside him had changed the night she'd carried him to the fortress where Toast and Breakfast had been imprisoned. Having come to know that Breezy had a thing for him and having matured enough to realize just how beautiful she was, Finn found himself wanting to sin with her–to break her marriage vows as he'd once broken his own. It helped not at all that several of his wives actually _wanted_ that, Cherry foremost among them.

As the big man was thinking his way through that deadly spiral, music began to play. Finn glanced up in some surprise and found himself glancing this way and that. It took a couple of moments for him to realize that the musician was actually in an adjoining room, and he was hearing the music through the wall. A corner of his mind briefly feared that whoever it was might play all _night_! He had a plane to catch in the morning! But shortly, that fear was far from his mind. The first of the baskets had just popped open. A startled Finn went reaching for the dagger on the table just before he realized who had just stood up from the basket on the right.

Aysun. Wearing transparent silk pantaloons in a turquoise color that did nothing at all to hide her still-firm body. She wore a matching top with sleeves that were slit from her wrists to her elbows, baring her emerald-colored skin. And, as Finn stared with dry mouth at the woman he'd practically _taken_ last night, Aysun began to dance. She danced in time with that smoky beat, broad hips gyrating, arms gently swaying, as she showed off the charms that he'd enjoyed so thoroughly.

As the big man tried to come to terms with this sudden development, Alexia stood up from the second basket. The little woman came wearing a similar costume in grey silk, and she too began to dance for him. The two danced in synchronicity, hips gyrating, asses shaking, and plump knockers jiggling. They said nary a word, letting their bodies speak for them. And Finn? His pants felt two sizes too small.

Stepping out of the two baskets, the pair approached him, still dancing, showing off their still-hot bodies. It was all the more erotic because Aysun was technically still within the strictures of her people. Her body was covered. She even had a silk veil bound around her face. But she was absolutely bare-assed, and Finn could see everything he wanted to–from her face down to the plump knobs he'd sucked on the other night to her green-furred gash. He could see it all, and it made her hotter than if she'd just been naked.

The two got up close on him, still dancing, and Finn found himself with a new hunger. He hungered to touch them. At the same time, he sort of knew this game. Simone had played it with him. Cherry had too. The point was for them to get him riled up to the point where he was ready to pound the shit out of both of them. And it was working. Thoughts of 'shouldn't' fled his mind. Alexia wanted a baby. He'd promised to give her one. He'd _already_ given Sheila a child, even when he hadn't wanted or intended to. And Bonnie and Betty had both been nagging him about all the 'instability' they saw.

The princess population was aging. There were a lot of heirless women who'd spent far too many years partying hearty running the Kingdoms of Ooo. Belle's species was going extinct, and Hurletta and Blargetha were the last members of the Slime People's Royal Family. He'd already seen what could happen when a Royal House disappeared and left the citizens fending for themselves. Ingrid's Kingdom had descended into lawlessness before her resurrection, and Wildberry Kingdom was on the brink with murder and cannibalism running wild in the streets.

While his mind was working on that, Aysun was popping the lid off the little jar of Golden Honey. As his nanite-infused brain worked through the last little stray bits of logic, Alexia popped a chunk of bread dipped in the dangerously addictive honey into his mouth. The familiar feeling of euphoria was immediate and powerful. He felt _powerful_ , and simple worries like the risks of dealing with powerful and wealthy women like Aysun quickly faded into the background in his mind.

The pair took turns alternating between plying him with food and drink and dancing for his entertainment. In spite of the years and the miles, both were still graceful, and it was pretty obvious they both worked out like fiends to keep the fat off the bones. In spite of the crazy day he'd had–and maybe a lot because of the honey he'd consumed–the King of Ooo found himself hungry for princess. Putting his plate aside, the big man climbed to his feet, causing Aysun to stop in mid-dance. Taking Alexia by the wrist, the big man strode towards the bedroom, grabbing their host's wrist along the way.

Elsewhere in the palace, Billy lay in bed with Noemi perched on his stomach. She'd greeted him with a whole lot of jealousy when he got back. There was a bitter, _acrid_ taste to her pheremones when she was twisted and green. He'd assumed that Hamest was the reason for the jealousy–at least until Olesia stopped by to tell him his father had returned. The sight of the plump girl had turned the jealousy up to eleven.

Noemi had dialed up an intoxicating dose of her pheremones and plied him with hot sex and food for over an hour, basically spoiling him. It had been a while, honestly. The last couple of years had been a blur. He'd hardly gotten to know Rags before they'd both gotten sucked deep into this mad business of his father's. He'd gone from being a happily married man with a beautiful adopted son and another kid on the way to husband of three and father of five, with one wife who was slowly and quietly self-destructing, a second wife struggling to stay on the straight-and-narrow, and a third desperately trying to hold the whole thing up.

He'd taken a _lot_ of cold showers the last six months or so, and he'd slipped down to a strip-club a time or two himself. It honestly amazed him that his father had gone through _two years_ of basically getting jack-shit while his wives were pregnant, and he'd fought down the temptation to do anything more than stroke it. It made him feel inadequate. So, when Noemi came out of the bathroom dressed in panties so skimpy that you could have used them for a handkerchief and a bra to match, well, it felt a lot like hitting the jackpot.

"There were no signs of the stolen antiquities at all," announced Noemi. Billy nodded, his eyes mesmerized by her swaying titties. Those big baby-food factories had gotten a lot plumper after his daughter got born. The Purple Princess had been worried about nursing doing damage to her big grapes, but Billy hardly thought any harm had been done. "Maybe I should dial you down a bit," Noemi burbled, as she realized where his focus was at the moment. "I'm a guy," he retorted. "Maybe you should have put a sack-dress on." He couldn't have given less of a fuck about Hamest's missing books. The big man grabbed his wife by her shoulders and casually threw her on her back. "W-William," she howled! But Billy was already fastening his lips onto her heavy left knocker.

Back in the King's quarters, Finn had already moved on to the main event. The teasing had him hot as fuck, and any thought of working the two women over went right out the window. He'd basically thrown Aysun on her belly on the bed and all but tore the see-through robe off that slim body of hers. When he jammed her full of his meat-missile, the princess was a goner. As he plugged her steamy snatch insistently, Finn slapped Aysun's ass hard as he could, making the meaty mass jiggle, while the princess wailed into the sheets, her hands clawing at the mattress. Grinding her hot body against his, Alexia continued to whisper dirty thoughts at him, reminding him that she was ripe right now and telling him that Aysun was too. He might be fucking his baby into Aysun right now. He might well have knobbed both of them already!

The thought was so nasty, he lost it, shooting off right there. Grabbing Alexia by her hair, he pulled her face up to his and stuffed his tongue in her mouth. The little woman was at once turned on and afflicted with regret. She could have had this _years_ ago. As he began to fuck Aysun again, she realized that, instead of shitting on him, they should have made Finn the Human their boy-toy. Both their kingdoms would have prospered. _Better late than never,_ she thought, as she broke that kiss. "I'm next," she breathed. "I want it next..."

 **The King of Ooo has recovered the last of the missing princesses, and Blargetha is reaping what she's so long sowed. Finn's made a start on fixing the 'instability' in Ooo, and Billy is slowly getting back some semblance of normalcy in his life.**


	32. Epilogue

Epilogue:

Nieve Quiles-Vega was humiliated and angry both. She was nursing a wound to her pride that made the soreness of her ass pale in comparison. He'd dared to touch her! That fucking jumped-up peasant had dared to touch _her_! She was a Royal! His father was a jumped-up thug, given power far beyond what a mere _man_ should be allowed to have! The pretty young princess swore bitterly, her rage boiling over again and again, as she paced across her solar again and again and again. She wanted vengeance! She wanted to punish that fucking _bastard_ , and she wanted to make his filthy father _hurt_ for what they'd done!

As she was making her fifth or fiftieth circuit through the room, there came a knocking at her door. She ignored it. Muttering curses, she continued to pace, her mind twisting its way through all the ways she could hurt them. He was a wizard. She couldn't have him physically hurt. It would be hard to find someone who could challenge a man who held the Ice King's power in his hands. She could hurt his bitch, Ragnhild. He could have that old bitch hurt! Or maybe fucking Abeiuwa! Those disgusting _cunts_ let him sleep with the three of them! Disgusting! They were disgusting!

The knocking came again, louder this time. When the pretty princess ignored the knocker, it came even louder until her rage boiled over. Striding to the door, she jerked it open, snarling, "what the fuck do you want?!" She couldn't have been more surprised by the presence of armed guards on the far side of the door. Her family's private guards stood there in the hallway. "Please come quietly, Lady Nieve," said their leader. "The family elders wish to speak to you." _Lady_ Nieve?! She was going to have a chat with them about _Lady_ Nieve, and she was going to have this man's tongue cut out.

Seeing the expression on the young woman's face, the soldier sighed heavily. She didn't see. Grabbing her by the arm, he deftly bundled her into a set of cuffs. It was so quick, she only registered what had happened after she'd been shackled up. Now she began to scream. Not that the guards cared. They took her by the shoulders and began striding down the hall. The elders had the power here, and this woman had managed to get the Royal Family royally pissed off.

The princess was spitting mad when she was dragged into the presence of the men and women who'd placed her in her position less than a year ago. "What's the meaning of this," she howled?! "How dare you?!" Her uncle, Edwin, retorted, "Nieve, know that you stand accused of crimes against the Kingdom." "What the hell are you talking about," snarled the angry young woman?! "I'm _Princess_!" "You _were_ princess," her grandmother replied. Nieve's jaw dropped open.

Striding forward, her grandmother told her, "we replaced Yolanda for the same crimes, Nieve. Did you forget that? She wrecked our homeland. She destroyed our army, sending it on a foolish expedition for her favorite _treat_! Let that sink in, Nieve. You've been bitching that we have no guard of our own, save the handful of men who guard this palace. Your predecessor was responsible for that disaster. Now you're walking us down the same road..." Nieve gasped in fear.

Nodding, her uncle Omar reminded her, "you were put on the throne to right the ship, Nieve. Instead, you're pursuing the same questionable alliances that Yolanda pursued. The King of Ooo rid us of the zombies. Our peasants are in the fields again, and he offers to make us wealthy off the proceeds of our farms and vineyards. And you tried to piss on the whole thing! I have half a mind to spank your ass _myself_!" "I-I can explain," Nieve babbled! "You're not talking your way out of this," her grandmother tutted. The young woman shivered in fear.

Nodding, the family matriarch told her, "you need to be settled, Nieve. We're not going to remove you, _yet_." Her words suggested the young princess was on the ragged edge. Acknowledging Nieve's fears with a nod, the dowager told her granddaughter, "I've arranged your marriage myself, Nieve. I've sent an envoy to the King of Ooo." "I-I won't do it," howled Nieve! "I won't give myself to an old man who whores around with a dozen others!" "Do you think you have a _choice_ , Nieve," Omar replied? Her face went red hot. She was standing there in chains. They could do whatever they wanted.

"It's not _him_ that I'm making the offer to, girl," said her grandmother. "As you say, he's an old man. He's likely not got the stamina to be chasing a young wildcat. But he does have a son. A son that's more than capable of handling _you_." Nieve's flush deepened. He'd beaten her! They were giving her to a man who'd paddled her like she was a _child_! Nodding, the old woman said, "you can marry Billy the Human, or you can rot in the dungeon, Nieve. Take your pick, but you're not leaving here until we have your signature on the decree."

As Nieve faced down her nightmare, on the far side of the civilized kingdoms, out beyond the safety of the Tesla Barrier, another princess was having an ugly encounter with the consequences of her actions. The Lady of Spies had her mind figuratively thousands of miles away. She was to track down the so-called Bandit Princess. She was to gather intelligence on who this woman was and what was motivating her. Besides the obvious. It was at once infuriating–that she was being ordered about–and at the same time it was a refreshing _challenge_.

Taking the turns as one who knew them well, the thin woman hardly noticed the eyes that followed her. As she approached her office, anxious to read the latest in reports on her nemesis, six men stepped out, weapons drawn. "What is the meaning of this," growled the slender woman? "I'm authorized to shoot you," the soldier retorted, as he trained his weapon on her middle. The thin woman hesitated, her mind torn between the instinct to fight and flee what was clearly some kind of trap and the higher brain functions that suggested she could talk her way clear. In that moment where her primitive lizard-brain warred with her more evolved mind, the guards were on her, divesting her of weapons–even the obsidian knife she kept between her breasts.

They were the sort of clinical that spies were taught to be, with no concern at all for copping a feel or giving her any other sort of opening that would have let her fight them and survive the experience. When they had the weapons, the six men shackled her, hand and foot, and frog-marched her through the halls of the headquarters to an uncertain fate.

This didn't make sense. She couldn't for the life of her understand what was going on here. Why were they doing this? She would have expected this after her release. She'd dodged a figurative bullet when Finn let her out of the dungeon, because she'd been expecting to be eating a dagger shortly thereafter. Her predecessor had gone out that way after fuckups too numerous to list. Three agents had jumped her in a hotel room in Oceanside and literally rammed a foot-long dirk down her throat and left her to choke on her own blood. It was a pretty ugly way to go.

The entirety of the Committee was waiting on her when she was dragged into the meeting hall. That was a first. One of the reasons for having an Agent Princess was the trouble of getting all of the members of the Committee together in one place. If it wasn't the general hazards of travel in a world devastated by global nuclear war, it was the more specific hazards of being a spy and agitator. The various members of the Committee often had their own agendas and some even had their own, secret patrons. That gave them plenty of reasons for doing in their fellows, and made it unlikely you'd get all eighteen together in one spot.

But here they were.

"Zeus," howled Orzsebet! "What is the meaning of this?!" The yellow-skinned giant in his neatly pressed suit frowned down his twisted nose at her and said, "you know what this is, Orzsebet." "Princess," she retorted! "I'm Princess! You'll address me by title!" "Are you," muttered Gordon Wells? Her face snapped over towards the Wax-Hustler. His elegant mustaches twitched minutely in amusement. He often showed amusement at the looming _deaths_ of others. It was a shared pleasure. Orzsebet had laughed and joked with him on numerous occasions as they did in this or that mark for some customer or other. This was going somewhere very dangerous.

The skinny spy was hauled into the chamber and forced to sit in the center of the room–the hot-seat–as the questioning began. As the members of the Committee began a thorough _debrief_ of their supposed _master_ , one of their number slipped out of the chamber to a private space. Flicking open his phone, he sheltered it from the prying eyes of the cameras, as he typed out a message.

Far to the east, the Bandit Princess stared down at her phone as Damien Vega's message came in. Orzsebet was in hand. The torture was about to begin. Orzsebet was a lightweight. He didn't imagine she would last very long. Shortly thereafter, he would be able to move to have her executed. He had allies lined up to vote for him as her replacement. And then he could move against the so-called King of Ooo.

 **Well, how's THAT for a plot twist and cliffhanger. Orzsebet's in trouble, and the Bandit Princess is (still) making moves. Hopefully, you'll all join me for Echoes of Evil, Empire of Ooo Part 2.  
**


End file.
